OPEN THREAD, TRACY FLICK MODE
Just repeat it with us because you mean it:
Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often speak with you and ask for things, but now, I really must insist that you help me win the GAME OF CHOICE today because I deserve it and THOSE EVIL TROGLODYTES don’t, as you well know. I realize that it was your divine hand that SMOTE THAT TEAM I HATE and now I’m asking that you go that one last mile and make sure to put me in THE SWEET GRASP OF VICTORY where I belong so that I may carry out your will on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.
Unleash your inner Tracy Flick today and have a blast. We would say more, but we won’t continue without our attorney present. Would you like a cupcake?
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1
softbatch says:
Of -course- Kirk has 4 boys in his spittin’ image.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:01 am
2
the croominator says:
And in such sweet, sweet irony, one of them is scared of the Buckeye…or does he just sense Corso under that big nut?
October 25th, 2008 at 11:04 am
3
Godfrey says:
Herby adds one more blonde haired child and the whole family becomes a tax exempt entity in Utah.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:05 am
4
Bandobras says:
Mmmm….I spy Reese WItherspoon
However, Cruel Intentions Reese wins handliy.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:05 am
5
italiangator says:
Little bit disappointed, first 60+ yd td of the day for KU/TT didn’t come on the first possession.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:09 am
6
Signal to Noise says:
Hope everyone bet the Over today in Lawrence.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:17 am
7
BurritoBrosShits says:
Mr. Two-Bits is retiring. A little part of me just died.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:18 am
8
Godfrey says:
That quick shot of the geriatric drum major in Lawrence is likely the final shot of a Hallmark Family Film where an an angry Jason Robards learns to love – and twirl – again.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:23 am
9
Zone Left says:
When the Kansas fans wave their arms during the fight song, does that signify corn swaying?
Seriously they all wave their arms back and forth.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:40 am
10
SeattleHawk says:
@9
it’s called “waving the wheat”…lots of wheat in kansas, it waves in the wind. corn = nebraska.
you gotta use what you got in the central regions of the country…
October 25th, 2008 at 11:44 am
11
pick6bamr says:
I think UK has the oldest coaching staff in the country
October 25th, 2008 at 11:46 am
12
TheK-GunNeedsReloaded says:
Is it just me, or does the KU fight song give you the urge to ride on a carousel?
October 25th, 2008 at 11:47 am
13
Orson Swindle says:
Zone Left, that is “Waving the Wheat.” It’s an old, old thing at Kansas, but it being a Kansas football tradition, you’ve never heard of it.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:48 am
14
pick6bamr says:
Does the Big 12 refuse to play D ?
October 25th, 2008 at 11:48 am
15
Godfrey says:
This is really bothering me – the kid looks nothing like Mankind. Stop saying that.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:52 am
16
Graysnail says:
Kentucky’s punt protection schemes leave something to be desired. That something can be termed as “success.”
October 25th, 2008 at 11:57 am
17
olb says:
Homecoming theme at UF – It’s a Block Party!
October 25th, 2008 at 11:57 am
18
BadgerMan says:
The Week 4 #8(9) ranked team is not going to qualify for a bowl game this year…
Sadly, B.A. Baracus will have to give the HC another full year of suckitude before considering canning his boy-band ass, since he’s the one who groomed him.
Have we all finally learned that hiring from within should be your LAST F’ING OPTION ON EARTH?
(Travis Beckum just went from being a 1st/2nd round draft pick to undrafted)
October 25th, 2008 at 11:59 am
19
playitforward says:
Did anyone else see 57 for TT drop that INT. That kid couldn’t catch Malaria in the Congo.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
20
A Clean Kick to the Facemask says:
Rick Brooks thinks that TO was Bullshit!
October 25th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
21
Zone Left says:
Orson, thanks. I thought I was just making fun of plump Midwestern folks.
Also, they suck at defense.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
22
Orson Swindle says:
Kentucky does finally get a punt off. YAY YOU!!!
October 25th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
23
Holly says:
And please let something horrible happen to Nick Saban. Amen.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
24
Wooderson says:
Dear Husky Nation,
This is going to hurt us a lot more than it hurts you.
Sincerely,
Notre Dame fans everywhere
P.S. Actually it won’t hurt a bit for us, but consider us as the oncologist who gives you chemo: It’s gonna hurt like a bitch now, but your life will be changed for the better.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
25
Chilltown says:
Please Lord, let Chris Crane realize that his receivers wear white, not blue. Amen.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
26
Graysnail says:
It amuses me to no end that the Raycom ACC game cant get a consistent signal for more than 5 seconds at a time. This is somewhat appropriate.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
27
Graysnail says:
@ Orson: you spoke too soon (although that was technically a FG).
October 25th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
28
Nick Saban says:
I do not have time for this shit, horrible or otherwise.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
29
Nathan says:
Miami is bad. Like, really bad.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
30
Mich-Placed Gator says:
….this just in….
that Demps kid is FAST…..
October 25th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
31
dudis41 says:
I’ve somehow missed 4 of Texas Tech’s touchdowns yet I have had the game on the entire time. Probably because I’ve been:
1) Doing some laundry
2) Making lunch
3) Blinking
BTW, what is Kansas (Memorial?) stadium’s capacity? Like 30,000? It looks tiny.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
32
Counter Trap says:
Seriously–how much longer until Mangino says “Screw it.” and starts riding one of those electric scooter/chair things?
October 25th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
33
Zone Left says:
Usually when a team lets up 35 by halftime and is down 21 points, the coach runs to the locker room to stay away from the sideline reporter.
Mark…you need some exercise. The wheezing while talking is creepy.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
34
chaimy4life says:
Mr. Two Bits retiring is BEYOND bullshit.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
35
Orson Swindle says:
Jeff Demps is faster than Bob Hayes. A mini-hadron collider all by himself.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
36
Orson Swindle says:
Secret to Northwestern’s success: LESBIAN POWER!
October 25th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
37
Signal to Noise says:
@32 – giant custom-built Segway + velour tracksuit = COMEDY GOLD.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
38
sonofsamford says:
Somebody at ESPN needs to run an Oxygen line along with Marky M’s mic.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
39
BadgerMan says:
Do what Tulsa didn’t last week… FINISH! (to 100)
October 25th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
40
Usain Bolt wears Jeff Demps pajamas says:
this is like the 10th time Mr. Two Bits has retired…don’t worry, it won’t last
October 25th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
41
BadgerMan says:
Pam Ward is super-pissed that this is the week she’s not covering a Northwestern game.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
42
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Chesney likes it when Tebow scores….when Tebow scores, American wins.
RBTTIBS-Rich Brooks thinks that is bullshit.
And he thinks Tebow trying to use Kentucky to get back in the Heisman race to pad his numbers is bullshit.
Why did Ole Miss have to go and piss Tebow off?
You see what happens dont you? You see?
This is wrath of Biblical proportions, plagues of points, parting of the line, lightning bolt fast receivers, punt smoting, burning defensive backs….turning Wine into gaterade….
October 25th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
43
BadgerMan says:
Crap. An hour after I write that about Travis Beckum – looks like he could be done for; got rolled up on by his RB. Appears really bad, appears ankle or lower leg.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
44
Signal to Noise says:
BadgerMan: yikes.
Cal Poly now believes they have a shot come November…
October 25th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
45
John says:
Florida-Kentucky is 42-3 at halftime. Pull out your “Dookie” CD because we’re going mid-90s in this joint!
October 25th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
46
BadgerMan says:
S2N – Poly had a shot before this. Anyone that has not watched Wisconsin (Fresno was their best game), has no clue how bad they are playing and the complete lack of leadership and discipline. Plenty of talent outside of QB, but no execution or appropriate playcalling.
Beckum is done. Replay showed his ankle got rolled hard. Shot of him with his shoe off = basketball-sized swelling above his ankle already.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
47
Nathan says:
@31 – KU’s Memorial Stadium is actually decently sized (it seats just over 51,000) … but it’s low and spread out, so on TV it looks smaller than it really it is.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
48
Signal to Noise says:
Crabtree just ran over the fucking official to get in the end zone.
He’s kinda good and stuff.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
49
Signal to Noise says:
BadgerMan: I live in Poly territory, so the prospects are exciting for the fans here (even though I don’t know many planning to make the trip to Camp Randall). The sink of Wisky down to the levels of a I-AA team has been nothing short of shocking.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
50
Nathan says:
This Wake @ Miami game is better than sleeping pills – it’s some really bad football.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
51
Counter Trap says:
At least Leach is using proper scientific procedure. In the control group we now know what happens when the Tech offense encounters the movable object.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
52
Godfrey says:
Quandry – what’s worse?
Watching Texas Tech or Florida sleepwalk through the closing minutes of a blowout or following the “close game, worth watching” logic of the Pam Ward 11 a.m. Cocktail?
Alarmingly absent from this vanilla affair is Indiana or Northwestern.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
53
John says:
Godfrey,
I myself have gone to the BTN, I want to see Northwestern end up in a New Year’s Day bowl.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
54
Signal to Noise says:
56-14, Tech.
KU has walked the plank.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
55
Jerkwheat says:
c’mon fellow Gameplanners and Espn360ers – join me for the end of Central and Toledo….do not resist the MAC or Tom Amstutz’s gravitational pull
October 25th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
56
BadgerMan says:
Someone pissed off the Sooners.
Can’t tell if it was KSt, or TT playing a game of catch-me.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
57
Bevoluvswins says:
As a Texas fan, I have some anxiety about the game today against T. Boone’s team but next week against Tech gives me the nervous bowl syndrome.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
58
John says:
BadgerMan,
Despite the plethora of points, Oklahoma is up by “only” 27, so I’m wondering if anyone has ever scored half-a-hundred in the first half but gone on to lose.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
59
playitforward says:
If Wisky holds on, The Big Ten might be gunning for the ACC Laugh at Logic Award this week. That doesn’t bode well for the Nittany Lions…
October 25th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
60
A Clean Kick to the Facemask says:
Rich Brooks thinks that all this UF scoring is BULLSHIT!
And Saban better take time for this shit as Bama is probably gonna be facing Florida in the SECCG.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
61
John says:
Mike Kafka throws a backward pass every bit as weird as Franz Kafka. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself)
October 25th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
62
BadgerMan says:
@58 – That’s not really the case. Wisconsin put all their eggs in this week’s basket. This was as much of as a must-win as it can get for a team like this. Revenge game, save-your-bowl-season game, save-your-coach game, B.A. got involved, Halloween-weekend home game (don’t underestimate this one).
There’s a reason ILL was favored by less than a FG.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
63
BadgerMan says:
Happy Halloween Big 10+1 !
(too bad Purdue couldn’t hold their end of the bargain and pull out their first win)
October 25th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
64
peachy says:
The Gators are doing their best USC impression so far this season :
1 – look better than you probably are early
2 – lose inexplicably
3 – salt the earth with bones of remaining opponents
Wouldn’t it be fun to have an SEC entrant in the ‘playing better than anyone right now‘ year-end sweepstakes?
October 25th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
65
Godfrey says:
I really wish the AJC would’ve let Uncle Tony go to the studio this week with Brando, because nothing would be better than an open-handed slap to the face to old Timmy if UGA were to win.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
66
WhiteSpeedReceiver says:
May I have your attention please: Minnesota is now 7-1. I am going to now go drink myself retarded just to make sure this is really happening. If I die, it’ll be worth it because it is (was?) reality.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
67
BadgerMan says:
Holly needed an escort today?
http://tinyurl.com/57nfut
October 25th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
68
A Clean Kick to the Facemask says:
@ WhiteSpeedReceiver
Welcome to Alternate Reality Day, here at EDSBS!
October 25th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
69
A Clean Kick to the Facemask says:
I thought you and Northwestern were onto something there Orson with the LEBSIAN POWER!
Was thinking about trying to place some calls down to Auburn to arrange some girl-girl spit-swappin’…but, uhhh, NW lost today. Dammit!
October 25th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
70
softbatch says:
These boxing match-style intros on CBS… eh….
October 25th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
71
A Clean Kick to the Facemask says:
What is this Bruce Buffer-Let’s Get Ready to Rumble ripoff bullshit to start the GA-LSU game?
October 25th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
72
John says:
This should have been the intro:
Georgia.
LSU.
They’re Good.
They’re Pissed.
They’re Next.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
73
Dankgesang says:
I had Mike Leach plan my wedding, and nine months later the bridesmaids all had twins.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
74
Rockabye Reggie Nelson says:
Safety in Gainesville as the snap rolls through the punter’s legs. So Florida’s special teams have scored 40% of Kentucky’s points, and almost as many as the Wildcats’ offense.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
75
softbatch says:
The odd-numbered yardline markings are indeed cool.
And holy crap, UGA just scored on an int. return.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
76
Signal to Noise says:
Jarrett Lee throws a pick six on the first play of the game. What a way to start, buddy.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
77
Studley says:
Mr. Pick-Six strikes again. I guess he wasn’t happy that he wasn’t throwing them quickly enough.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
78
OrangeGator says:
ABC regional coverage has fucked us yet again…Va Tech-Criminoles on ABC, Battle of Meatchicken on the Deuce…ugh.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
79
Rockabye Reggie Nelson says:
So, uh, Jarrett Lee is still the best option LSU has under center? I doubt that.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
80
RJF's groin muscle says:
The pick-6 by J Lee was a designed play. he plays like shit until he throws one, then plays well the rest of the game. Mad Lester just decided to get it out of the way early.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
81
playitforward says:
@61…True enough. However, if you would have tried to make the case at noon, you would have been lacking evidence, that was my point. The 71st ranked offense comes in and scores 27 after opening the Big Televen season 0-fer. The motivational points you’ve raised were clearly at play today.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
82
Studley says:
Steve Shaw’s crew doesn’t miss too many calls. They did miss the Face Mask, however.
At least that didn’t prevent the TD to tie the game.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
83
John says:
The Bud Light Redhead is definitely my ad-crush for this week.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
84
RJF's groin muscle says:
See, toldja so.
October 25th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
85
Rockabye Reggie Nelson says:
Orson, the new name for Florida’s offense has to be the R(ainey) & D(emps) Department’s Quantum Wing. And Percy Harvin is the Division of Hurt and/or Higgs Bosons.
October 25th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
86
Godfrey says:
My ad crush this week is anyone who hunts down and murders the chap who did that “Saved by Zero” jingle on the Toyota deal.
October 25th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
87
SuperJew says:
Knowshon Moreno is a beast.
October 25th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
88
MaconDawg says:
Matt Stafford probably goes bear hunting with nothing but a sack of footballs and a kabar. What a missile.
October 25th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
89
hlh says:
Everybody that’s a Dawg knew that fade was coming. Couldn’t stop it. It’s 4:20 and I’m mixing my fifth.
/need food before they find me prostate and unclothed in the front yard
October 25th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
90
jamiedawg says:
Here’s hoping mediocre LSU continues to play and killer LSU doesn’t show up
October 25th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
91
Mich-Placed Gator says:
LSU sorta got fucked on that “ball was tipped at the line” call. My tivo reveals no one was even close to tipping that ball.
October 25th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
92
RJF's groin muscle says:
@89; Those guys don’t show up until the 2nd Half. I guess it takes that much time for the weed buzz to wear off.
October 25th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
93
Studley says:
Two missed calls by Shaw’s crew. Bet it’s karma because of the Umpire’s forearm shiver last week.
October 25th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
94
Orson Swindle says:
Michigan got a touchdown because their wide receiver, stepping out of bounds at the pylon, stepped on the pylon on the way out, which was part of the field, and thus in bounds. Brain. Incinerated.
October 25th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
95
Studley says:
My ad crush is the Christie Brinkley DIRECTV ad. At 54, she still looks hot when naked in a swimming pool.
October 25th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
96
jamiedawg says:
Dawgs better not let LSU sneak back into this game….and another damn UGA penalty
October 25th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
97
playitforward says:
Geaux complacency…I hope they start calling Pick Six Left again soon.
October 25th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
98
jamiedawg says:
Dawgs are 3 and out again….do I blame young O-line, bad coaching, what? ?????
October 25th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
99
playitforward says:
Glorified punt, but it’ll work. Jarrett Lee taking the wind from behind their backs and putting it under his passes.
October 25th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
100
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Michigan still playing football? I thought they fired Rich Rodriquez?
(Thanking big Jesus and lil Baby Jesus that Rich Rod didnt take the Alabama job, or we WOULD be Auburn right now)
October 25th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
101
John says:
Doug Flutie going with the Regis: black jacket and black shirt.
October 25th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
102
hlh says:
@jaimiedawg
Chill. Take 2 Xanax, 6 George Dickel/Coke, call “Highway” Jones for a delivery, a B-12 and a few Vicodens for relaxation.
I have a feeling Les is going to win because of a “Roman Charity” to the refs. That’s how he rolls.
/Holly, It’s your fault bringing up the Joads and the turtle thing.
October 25th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
103
Nathan says:
GT’s defense forgot there was a game today. UVa’s possessions: FG, INT, TD, INT, Half Time, TD
Yuck
October 25th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
104
Harris says:
Orson, you still had a brain at that point? My brain exploded after they called that fumble on Hoyer.
October 25th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
105
Rob says:
Hey, that’s my old high school in that picture.
/knows some people who were extras in that abomination of a film
October 25th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
106
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
LO-LA!!! L-O-L-A! LO-LA! L-O-L-A! Loooooooooooooooolaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
FUCK YOU LSU.
October 25th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
107
hlh says:
Stoopnagle, act like ya been here before. Next week is huge. I am watching PSU/OSU and falling asleep. Not that the Big 11 can play defense, rather the Big11 plays inept offense. And boring defense.
/take Sominex tonight and sleep…….
October 25th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
108
yoyofutbawl says:
Duh, Gee Ten-uh-see.
Dook beets Candy? Doofus beets AUbarn?
At least, we beet MTSU.
Woo Hoo!!!!!
October 25th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
109
D-Nice says:
A couple things after yesterdays games
As a USC fan, I don’t think USC can play for the BCS championship even if they go 11-1. Everyone above them would need to lose, which is entirely possible. But, I don’t see them getting the benefit of the doubt if there are two undefeated or one-loss teams above them.
They really needed OSU to beat PSU (to make their OSU win look better). There are no really big games left, though Cal is decent and ND is merely OK (which is a lot more than last season).
An undefeated Penn St. squad will be in the BCS title game and the press will have a field day as it could be JoePa’s last game. If they are 12-0, there’s no way they are left out.
Problem is, unless a lot of teams lose, they don’t deserve to be there. It’s the schedule. The Oregon St. win was pretty good, but the rest of the non-conference scedule, wasn’t just “meh”, but truly laughable.
Michigan, as we all know, is way down (would normally be a quality win), and Wisconsin and Illinois have both turned out to suck (preseason, both looked like they’d be high quality wins). So, all they can really hang their hat on is the OSU win.
Any one-loss Big 12 or SEC team (even two losses if that team goes on to win the conference title game), should be in before Penn St., but I know that won’t happen.
So if they don’t blow it, PSU is in. And, the other particpant will be Big 12 or SEC champion. As stated, even an 11-1 USC doesn’t have much of a case unless all the right teams lose at the right times.
October 26th, 2008 at 3:43 am
110
lola says:
General,
Lovely serenade. Lovely game.
October 26th, 2008 at 10:47 am