OPEN THREAD, TRACY FLICK MODE

by Orson on Oct 25, 2008 11:55 AM EDT

Just repeat it with us because you mean it:

Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often speak with you and ask for things, but now, I really must insist that you help me win the GAME OF CHOICE today because I deserve it and THOSE EVIL TROGLODYTES don't, as you well know. I realize that it was your divine hand that SMOTE THAT TEAM I HATE and now I'm asking that you go that one last mile and make sure to put me in THE SWEET GRASP OF VICTORY where I belong so that I may carry out your will on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.

Unleash your inner Tracy Flick today and have a blast. We would say more, but we won't continue without our attorney present. Would you like a cupcake?

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Comments

Of ~~course~~ Kirk has 4 boys in his spittin’ image.

by softbatch on Oct 25, 2008 12:01 PM EDT reply actions

And in such sweet, sweet irony, one of them is scared of the Buckeye…or does he just sense Corso under that big nut?

by the croominator on Oct 25, 2008 12:04 PM EDT reply actions

Herby adds one more blonde haired child and the whole family becomes a tax exempt entity in Utah.

by Godfrey on Oct 25, 2008 12:05 PM EDT reply actions

Mmmm….I spy Reese WItherspoon

However, Cruel Intentions Reese wins handliy.

by Bandobras on Oct 25, 2008 12:05 PM EDT reply actions

Little bit disappointed, first 60+ yd td of the day for KU/TT didn’t come on the first possession.

by italiangator on Oct 25, 2008 12:09 PM EDT reply actions

Hope everyone bet the Over today in Lawrence.

by Signal to Noise on Oct 25, 2008 12:17 PM EDT reply actions

Mr. Two-Bits is retiring. A little part of me just died.

by BurritoBrosShits on Oct 25, 2008 12:18 PM EDT reply actions

That quick shot of the geriatric drum major in Lawrence is likely the final shot of a Hallmark Family Film where an an angry Jason Robards learns to love – and twirl – again.

by Godfrey on Oct 25, 2008 12:23 PM EDT reply actions

When the Kansas fans wave their arms during the fight song, does that signify corn swaying?

Seriously they all wave their arms back and forth.

by Zone Left on Oct 25, 2008 12:40 PM EDT reply actions

@9
it’s called “waving the wheat”…lots of wheat in kansas, it waves in the wind. corn = nebraska.
you gotta use what you got in the central regions of the country…

by SeattleHawk on Oct 25, 2008 12:44 PM EDT reply actions

I think UK has the oldest coaching staff in the country

by pick6bamr on Oct 25, 2008 12:46 PM EDT reply actions

Is it just me, or does the KU fight song give you the urge to ride on a carousel?

by TheK-GunNeedsReloaded on Oct 25, 2008 12:47 PM EDT reply actions

Zone Left, that is “Waving the Wheat.” It’s an old, old thing at Kansas, but it being a Kansas football tradition, you’ve never heard of it.

by Orson Swindle on Oct 25, 2008 12:48 PM EDT reply actions

Does the Big 12 refuse to play D ?

by pick6bamr on Oct 25, 2008 12:48 PM EDT reply actions

This is really bothering me – the kid looks nothing like Mankind. Stop saying that.

by Godfrey on Oct 25, 2008 12:52 PM EDT reply actions

Kentucky’s punt protection schemes leave something to be desired. That something can be termed as “success.”

by Graysnail on Oct 25, 2008 12:57 PM EDT reply actions

Homecoming theme at UF – It’s a Block Party!

by olb on Oct 25, 2008 12:57 PM EDT reply actions

The Week 4 #8(9) ranked team is not going to qualify for a bowl game this year…

Sadly, B.A. Baracus will have to give the HC another full year of suckitude before considering canning his boy-band ass, since he’s the one who groomed him.

Have we all finally learned that hiring from within should be your LAST F’ING OPTION ON EARTH?

(Travis Beckum just went from being a 1st/2nd round draft pick to undrafted)

by BadgerMan on Oct 25, 2008 12:59 PM EDT reply actions

Did anyone else see 57 for TT drop that INT. That kid couldn’t catch Malaria in the Congo.

by playitforward on Oct 25, 2008 1:01 PM EDT reply actions

Rick Brooks thinks that TO was Bullshit!

by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Oct 25, 2008 1:02 PM EDT reply actions

Orson, thanks. I thought I was just making fun of plump Midwestern folks.

Also, they suck at defense.

by Zone Left on Oct 25, 2008 1:03 PM EDT reply actions

Kentucky does finally get a punt off. YAY YOU!!!

by Orson Swindle on Oct 25, 2008 1:04 PM EDT reply actions

And please let something horrible happen to Nick Saban. Amen.

by Holly on Oct 25, 2008 1:18 PM EDT reply actions

Dear Husky Nation,

This is going to hurt us a lot more than it hurts you.

Sincerely,

Notre Dame fans everywhere

P.S. Actually it won’t hurt a bit for us, but consider us as the oncologist who gives you chemo: It’s gonna hurt like a bitch now, but your life will be changed for the better.

by Wooderson on Oct 25, 2008 1:21 PM EDT reply actions

Please Lord, let Chris Crane realize that his receivers wear white, not blue. Amen.

by Chilltown on Oct 25, 2008 1:22 PM EDT reply actions

It amuses me to no end that the Raycom ACC game cant get a consistent signal for more than 5 seconds at a time. This is somewhat appropriate.

by Graysnail on Oct 25, 2008 1:26 PM EDT reply actions

@ Orson: you spoke too soon (although that was technically a FG).

by Graysnail on Oct 25, 2008 1:31 PM EDT reply actions

I do not have time for this shit, horrible or otherwise.

by Nick Saban on Oct 25, 2008 1:31 PM EDT reply actions

Miami is bad. Like, really bad.

by Nathan on Oct 25, 2008 1:33 PM EDT reply actions

….this just in….

that Demps kid is FAST…..

by Mich-Placed Gator on Oct 25, 2008 1:33 PM EDT reply actions

I’ve somehow missed 4 of Texas Tech’s touchdowns yet I have had the game on the entire time. Probably because I’ve been:

1) Doing some laundry
2) Making lunch
3) Blinking

BTW, what is Kansas (Memorial?) stadium’s capacity? Like 30,000? It looks tiny.

by dudis41 on Oct 25, 2008 1:33 PM EDT reply actions

Seriously—how much longer until Mangino says “Screw it.” and starts riding one of those electric scooter/chair things?

by Counter Trap on Oct 25, 2008 1:37 PM EDT reply actions

Usually when a team lets up 35 by halftime and is down 21 points, the coach runs to the locker room to stay away from the sideline reporter.

Mark…you need some exercise. The wheezing while talking is creepy.

by Zone Left on Oct 25, 2008 1:37 PM EDT reply actions

Mr. Two Bits retiring is BEYOND bullshit.

by chaimy4life on Oct 25, 2008 1:37 PM EDT reply actions

Jeff Demps is faster than Bob Hayes. A mini-hadron collider all by himself.

by Orson Swindle on Oct 25, 2008 1:38 PM EDT reply actions

Secret to Northwestern’s success: LESBIAN POWER!

by Orson Swindle on Oct 25, 2008 1:39 PM EDT reply actions

@32 – giant custom-built Segway + velour tracksuit = COMEDY GOLD.

by Signal to Noise on Oct 25, 2008 1:40 PM EDT reply actions

Somebody at ESPN needs to run an Oxygen line along with Marky M’s mic.

by sonofsamford on Oct 25, 2008 1:41 PM EDT reply actions

Do what Tulsa didn’t last week… FINISH! (to 100)

by BadgerMan on Oct 25, 2008 1:43 PM EDT reply actions

this is like the 10th time Mr. Two Bits has retired…don’t worry, it won’t last

by Usain Bolt wears Jeff Demps pajamas on Oct 25, 2008 1:44 PM EDT reply actions

Pam Ward is super-pissed that this is the week she’s not covering a Northwestern game.

by BadgerMan on Oct 25, 2008 1:47 PM EDT reply actions

Chesney likes it when Tebow scores….when Tebow scores, American wins.
RBTTIBS-Rich Brooks thinks that is bullshit.
And he thinks Tebow trying to use Kentucky to get back in the Heisman race to pad his numbers is bullshit.
Why did Ole Miss have to go and piss Tebow off?
You see what happens dont you? You see?
This is wrath of Biblical proportions, plagues of points, parting of the line, lightning bolt fast receivers, punt smoting, burning defensive backs….turning Wine into gaterade….

by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 25, 2008 1:55 PM EDT reply actions

Crap. An hour after I write that about Travis Beckum – looks like he could be done for; got rolled up on by his RB. Appears really bad, appears ankle or lower leg.

by BadgerMan on Oct 25, 2008 2:01 PM EDT reply actions

BadgerMan: yikes.

Cal Poly now believes they have a shot come November…

by Signal to Noise on Oct 25, 2008 2:06 PM EDT reply actions

Florida-Kentucky is 42-3 at halftime. Pull out your “Dookie” CD because we’re going mid-90s in this joint!

by John on Oct 25, 2008 2:09 PM EDT reply actions

S2N – Poly had a shot before this. Anyone that has not watched Wisconsin (Fresno was their best game), has no clue how bad they are playing and the complete lack of leadership and discipline. Plenty of talent outside of QB, but no execution or appropriate playcalling.

Beckum is done. Replay showed his ankle got rolled hard. Shot of him with his shoe off = basketball-sized swelling above his ankle already.

by BadgerMan on Oct 25, 2008 2:15 PM EDT reply actions

@31 – KU’s Memorial Stadium is actually decently sized (it seats just over 51,000) … but it’s low and spread out, so on TV it looks smaller than it really it is.

by Nathan on Oct 25, 2008 2:16 PM EDT reply actions

Crabtree just ran over the fucking official to get in the end zone.

He’s kinda good and stuff.

by Signal to Noise on Oct 25, 2008 2:17 PM EDT reply actions

BadgerMan: I live in Poly territory, so the prospects are exciting for the fans here (even though I don’t know many planning to make the trip to Camp Randall). The sink of Wisky down to the levels of a I-AA team has been nothing short of shocking.

by Signal to Noise on Oct 25, 2008 2:20 PM EDT reply actions

This Wake @ Miami game is better than sleeping pills – it’s some really bad football.

by Nathan on Oct 25, 2008 2:23 PM EDT reply actions

At least Leach is using proper scientific procedure. In the control group we now know what happens when the Tech offense encounters the movable object.

by Counter Trap on Oct 25, 2008 2:23 PM EDT reply actions

Quandry – what’s worse?

Watching Texas Tech or Florida sleepwalk through the closing minutes of a blowout or following the “close game, worth watching” logic of the Pam Ward 11 a.m. Cocktail?

Alarmingly absent from this vanilla affair is Indiana or Northwestern.

by Godfrey on Oct 25, 2008 2:24 PM EDT reply actions

Godfrey,

I myself have gone to the BTN, I want to see Northwestern end up in a New Year’s Day bowl.

by John on Oct 25, 2008 2:27 PM EDT reply actions

56-14, Tech.

KU has walked the plank.

by Signal to Noise on Oct 25, 2008 2:29 PM EDT reply actions

c’mon fellow Gameplanners and Espn360ers – join me for the end of Central and Toledo….do not resist the MAC or Tom Amstutz’s gravitational pull

by Jerkwheat on Oct 25, 2008 2:34 PM EDT reply actions

Someone pissed off the Sooners.

Can’t tell if it was KSt, or TT playing a game of catch-me.

by BadgerMan on Oct 25, 2008 2:34 PM EDT reply actions

As a Texas fan, I have some anxiety about the game today against T. Boone’s team but next week against Tech gives me the nervous bowl syndrome.

by Bevoluvswins on Oct 25, 2008 2:35 PM EDT reply actions

BadgerMan,

Despite the plethora of points, Oklahoma is up by “only” 27, so I’m wondering if anyone has ever scored half-a-hundred in the first half but gone on to lose.

by John on Oct 25, 2008 2:38 PM EDT reply actions

If Wisky holds on, The Big Ten might be gunning for the ACC Laugh at Logic Award this week. That doesn’t bode well for the Nittany Lions…

by playitforward on Oct 25, 2008 2:56 PM EDT reply actions

Rich Brooks thinks that all this UF scoring is BULLSHIT!

And Saban better take time for this shit as Bama is probably gonna be facing Florida in the SECCG.

by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Oct 25, 2008 3:02 PM EDT reply actions

Mike Kafka throws a backward pass every bit as weird as Franz Kafka. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself)

by John on Oct 25, 2008 3:03 PM EDT reply actions

@58 – That’s not really the case. Wisconsin put all their eggs in this week’s basket. This was as much of as a must-win as it can get for a team like this. Revenge game, save-your-bowl-season game, save-your-coach game, B.A. got involved, Halloween-weekend home game (don’t underestimate this one).

There’s a reason ILL was favored by less than a FG.

by BadgerMan on Oct 25, 2008 3:04 PM EDT reply actions

Happy Halloween Big 10+1 !

(too bad Purdue couldn’t hold their end of the bargain and pull out their first win)

by BadgerMan on Oct 25, 2008 3:08 PM EDT reply actions

The Gators are doing their best USC impression so far this season :

1 – look better than you probably are early
2 – lose inexplicably
3 – salt the earth with bones of remaining opponents

Wouldn’t it be fun to have an SEC entrant in the ‘playing better than anyone right now’ year-end sweepstakes?

by peachy on Oct 25, 2008 3:08 PM EDT reply actions

I really wish the AJC would’ve let Uncle Tony go to the studio this week with Brando, because nothing would be better than an open-handed slap to the face to old Timmy if UGA were to win.

by Godfrey on Oct 25, 2008 3:11 PM EDT reply actions

May I have your attention please: Minnesota is now 7-1. I am going to now go drink myself retarded just to make sure this is really happening. If I die, it’ll be worth it because it is (was?) reality.

by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Oct 25, 2008 3:14 PM EDT reply actions

Holly needed an escort today?

http://tinyurl.com/57nfut

by BadgerMan on Oct 25, 2008 3:16 PM EDT reply actions

@ WhiteSpeedReceiver

Welcome to Alternate Reality Day, here at EDSBS!

by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Oct 25, 2008 3:18 PM EDT reply actions

I thought you and Northwestern were onto something there Orson with the LEBSIAN POWER!

Was thinking about trying to place some calls down to Auburn to arrange some girl-girl spit-swappin’…but, uhhh, NW lost today. Dammit!

by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Oct 25, 2008 3:25 PM EDT reply actions

These boxing match-style intros on CBS… eh….

by softbatch on Oct 25, 2008 3:30 PM EDT reply actions

What is this Bruce Buffer-Let’s Get Ready to Rumble ripoff bullshit to start the GA-LSU game?

by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Oct 25, 2008 3:31 PM EDT reply actions

This should have been the intro:
Georgia.
LSU.
They’re Good.
They’re Pissed.
They’re Next.

by John on Oct 25, 2008 3:33 PM EDT reply actions

I had Mike Leach plan my wedding, and nine months later the bridesmaids all had twins.

by Dankgesang on Oct 25, 2008 3:34 PM EDT reply actions

Safety in Gainesville as the snap rolls through the punter’s legs. So Florida’s special teams have scored 40% of Kentucky’s points, and almost as many as the Wildcats’ offense.

by Rockabye Reggie Nelson on Oct 25, 2008 3:35 PM EDT reply actions

The odd-numbered yardline markings are indeed cool.

And holy crap, UGA just scored on an int. return.

by softbatch on Oct 25, 2008 3:37 PM EDT reply actions

Jarrett Lee throws a pick six on the first play of the game. What a way to start, buddy.

by Signal to Noise on Oct 25, 2008 3:38 PM EDT reply actions

Mr. Pick-Six strikes again. I guess he wasn’t happy that he wasn’t throwing them quickly enough.

by Studley on Oct 25, 2008 3:39 PM EDT reply actions

ABC regional coverage has fucked us yet again…Va Tech-Criminoles on ABC, Battle of Meatchicken on the Deuce…ugh.

by OrangeGator on Oct 25, 2008 3:40 PM EDT reply actions

So, uh, Jarrett Lee is still the best option LSU has under center? I doubt that.

by Rockabye Reggie Nelson on Oct 25, 2008 3:46 PM EDT reply actions

The pick-6 by J Lee was a designed play. he plays like shit until he throws one, then plays well the rest of the game. Mad Lester just decided to get it out of the way early.

by RJF's groin muscle on Oct 25, 2008 3:48 PM EDT reply actions

@61…True enough. However, if you would have tried to make the case at noon, you would have been lacking evidence, that was my point. The 71st ranked offense comes in and scores 27 after opening the Big Televen season 0-fer. The motivational points you’ve raised were clearly at play today.

by playitforward on Oct 25, 2008 3:49 PM EDT reply actions

Steve Shaw’s crew doesn’t miss too many calls. They did miss the Face Mask, however.

At least that didn’t prevent the TD to tie the game.

by Studley on Oct 25, 2008 3:49 PM EDT reply actions

The Bud Light Redhead is definitely my ad-crush for this week.

by John on Oct 25, 2008 3:49 PM EDT reply actions

See, toldja so.

by RJF's groin muscle on Oct 25, 2008 3:50 PM EDT reply actions

Orson, the new name for Florida’s offense has to be the R(ainey) & D(emps) Department’s Quantum Wing. And Percy Harvin is the Division of Hurt and/or Higgs Bosons.

by Rockabye Reggie Nelson on Oct 25, 2008 4:01 PM EDT reply actions

My ad crush this week is anyone who hunts down and murders the chap who did that “Saved by Zero” jingle on the Toyota deal.

by Godfrey on Oct 25, 2008 4:08 PM EDT reply actions

Knowshon Moreno is a beast.

by SuperJew on Oct 25, 2008 4:11 PM EDT reply actions

Matt Stafford probably goes bear hunting with nothing but a sack of footballs and a kabar. What a missile.

by MaconDawg on Oct 25, 2008 4:14 PM EDT reply actions

Everybody that’s a Dawg knew that fade was coming. Couldn’t stop it. It’s 4:20 and I’m mixing my fifth.

/need food before they find me prostate and unclothed in the front yard

by hlh on Oct 25, 2008 4:20 PM EDT reply actions

Here’s hoping mediocre LSU continues to play and killer LSU doesn’t show up

by jamiedawg on Oct 25, 2008 4:26 PM EDT reply actions

LSU sorta got fucked on that “ball was tipped at the line” call. My tivo reveals no one was even close to tipping that ball.

by Mich-Placed Gator on Oct 25, 2008 4:27 PM EDT reply actions

@89; Those guys don’t show up until the 2nd Half. I guess it takes that much time for the weed buzz to wear off.

by RJF's groin muscle on Oct 25, 2008 4:30 PM EDT reply actions

Two missed calls by Shaw’s crew. Bet it’s karma because of the Umpire’s forearm shiver last week.

by Studley on Oct 25, 2008 4:30 PM EDT reply actions

Michigan got a touchdown because their wide receiver, stepping out of bounds at the pylon, stepped on the pylon on the way out, which was part of the field, and thus in bounds. Brain. Incinerated.

by Orson Swindle on Oct 25, 2008 4:32 PM EDT reply actions

My ad crush is the Christie Brinkley DIRECTV ad. At 54, she still looks hot when naked in a swimming pool.

by Studley on Oct 25, 2008 4:35 PM EDT reply actions

Dawgs better not let LSU sneak back into this game….and another damn UGA penalty

by jamiedawg on Oct 25, 2008 4:38 PM EDT reply actions

Geaux complacency…I hope they start calling Pick Six Left again soon.

by playitforward on Oct 25, 2008 4:44 PM EDT reply actions

Dawgs are 3 and out again….do I blame young O-line, bad coaching, what? ?

by jamiedawg on Oct 25, 2008 4:47 PM EDT reply actions

Glorified punt, but it’ll work. Jarrett Lee taking the wind from behind their backs and putting it under his passes.

by playitforward on Oct 25, 2008 4:54 PM EDT reply actions

Michigan still playing football? I thought they fired Rich Rodriquez?
(Thanking big Jesus and lil Baby Jesus that Rich Rod didnt take the Alabama job, or we WOULD be Auburn right now)

by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 25, 2008 5:04 PM EDT reply actions

Doug Flutie going with the Regis: black jacket and black shirt.

by John on Oct 25, 2008 5:13 PM EDT reply actions

@jaimiedawg

Chill. Take 2 Xanax, 6 George Dickel/Coke, call “Highway” Jones for a delivery, a B-12 and a few Vicodens for relaxation.

I have a feeling Les is going to win because of a “Roman Charity” to the refs. That’s how he rolls.

/Holly, It’s your fault bringing up the Joads and the turtle thing.

by hlh on Oct 25, 2008 5:16 PM EDT reply actions

GT’s defense forgot there was a game today. UVa’s possessions: FG, INT, TD, INT, Half Time, TD

Yuck

by Nathan on Oct 25, 2008 5:26 PM EDT reply actions

Orson, you still had a brain at that point? My brain exploded after they called that fumble on Hoyer.

by Harris on Oct 25, 2008 5:28 PM EDT reply actions

Hey, that’s my old high school in that picture.

/knows some people who were extras in that abomination of a film

by Rob on Oct 25, 2008 7:23 PM EDT reply actions

LO-LA!!! L-O-L-A! LO-LA! L-O-L-A! Loooooooooooooooolaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

FUCK YOU LSU.

by Gen. Stoopnagle on Oct 25, 2008 7:26 PM EDT reply actions

Stoopnagle, act like ya been here before. Next week is huge. I am watching PSU/OSU and falling asleep. Not that the Big 11 can play defense, rather the Big11 plays inept offense. And boring defense.

/take Sominex tonight and sleep…….

by hlh on Oct 25, 2008 10:06 PM EDT reply actions

Duh, Gee Ten-uh-see.

Dook beets Candy? Doofus beets AUbarn?

At least, we beet MTSU.

Woo Hoo!!!!!

by yoyofutbawl on Oct 25, 2008 11:13 PM EDT reply actions

A couple things after yesterdays games

As a USC fan, I don’t think USC can play for the BCS championship even if they go 11-1. Everyone above them would need to lose, which is entirely possible. But, I don’t see them getting the benefit of the doubt if there are two undefeated or one-loss teams above them.

They really needed OSU to beat PSU (to make their OSU win look better). There are no really big games left, though Cal is decent and ND is merely OK (which is a lot more than last season).

An undefeated Penn St. squad will be in the BCS title game and the press will have a field day as it could be JoePa’s last game. If they are 12-0, there’s no way they are left out.

Problem is, unless a lot of teams lose, they don’t deserve to be there. It’s the schedule. The Oregon St. win was pretty good, but the rest of the non-conference scedule, wasn’t just “meh”, but truly laughable.

Michigan, as we all know, is way down (would normally be a quality win), and Wisconsin and Illinois have both turned out to suck (preseason, both looked like they’d be high quality wins). So, all they can really hang their hat on is the OSU win.

Any one-loss Big 12 or SEC team (even two losses if that team goes on to win the conference title game), should be in before Penn St., but I know that won’t happen.

So if they don’t blow it, PSU is in. And, the other particpant will be Big 12 or SEC champion. As stated, even an 11-1 USC doesn’t have much of a case unless all the right teams lose at the right times.

by D-Nice on Oct 26, 2008 4:43 AM EDT reply actions