PROMENADE, NOW TURN TO YOUR PARTNER, PROMENADE!

Of all the unholy things our eyeballs never need nor want to see, this would be in the top ten. We didn't know it would be in the top ten, but lo! it was said, and it appeared right there. Courtesy of the suddenly off-the-cuff John Chavis:

He had this to say about being afraid, drawing chuckles from around the room: “I can’t wear my wife’s dress right now … but if I ever get afraid, I’m just going to stay at home and probably start cross-dressing.”

Promenade!

And suddenly, we realize we liked him better when he didn't talk and give us erection-killing images for the ages. But we don't judge, John. You could probably actually coach in a dress right now and escape all scrutiny: the Tennessee defense is 11th in the country in total defense. The hate-rays directed at Dave Clawson's booth have the eyes of Vol fans fully and completely occupied. There is one advantage, though: all that booze-fueled infrared energy is saving a bundle on heating bills at Neyland.