DON'T DO IT, KIDS

I was going to try and make fun of this… but she’s hot. Really hot. Better than I could do so I’m going to sulk under my desk for the next 15 minutes.
Regards.

He has obviously outkicked his coverage, but 22 is too young. At least he is getting the first one out of the way early.

Can’t make fun of them themselves, but why on earth would you make a fucking website to profess your love to someone like this? What’s wrong? Was the water tower taken already?

Did Tubs abandon him at birth?

Sumptin tells me that LSUfreek could have a field day with the portraits section.

No wonder you’re upset. She’s lovely. And a darling figure… supple, pouting breasts… firm thighs. It’s a shame you two don’t get along.

I dig the matching jeans and artsy shot of the the shoes, and the breasts.

For some reason the font on the title of that site is making me think they share a love for Creed’s early stuff.
You know, before they sold out.

Stupid is as Stupid does.

The great thing about portraits is that they provide lasting memories of how stupid and naive they were long after the ink on the divorce papers is dry.

Especially if you’re second in the SEC in passing.. then you think you’re all special or some shit and you think, “Hey I’m second in the SEC in passing, I’m different than all those other people who get divorced, THIS marriage will definitely work”

Some real advice: Casey, live with this woman for no less than three years before you decide you want to wake up next to her ass for the next.. forever. At that point you’ll only be 25. Trust me.

Wait a second… He was wearing socks with sandals and she still fell for him? Yeah, life’s fair.

Once one gets past their excessively documented oscular activity and the mental images of the non-documented nexus and ultimate fulfillment initiated by said osculation, one realizes that they are extremely young children…and marriage? I don’t advise it as it would not have worked for me, but we must all live out our karmic relationships…even with refrigerator ears…

-my buddhist, lesbian psychic would be proud of me…I feel so, so, fucking empathetic! I may be turning a corner!

But will she still stand by him when he’s a CFL bust? Perhaps she’ll gravitate towards another dick.

And since it’s the season, how dare you attack the “beastly Nambian Joe Six Pack” you, you moderate Southern Democrat college football elitist, you.

I love chiclets. That is all.

“You know about as much about yourself at 22 as you do about the nation of Namibia.”

I completely disagree. You know much, much less.

Getting married and/or having kids at 22 is about as good an idea as comparing a football coach to Hitler on national TV.

Her name is Felicia?

FELICIA DICK?

That’s way too much. Just… oh, man, I laughed so hard. The fact that they/she are making a website like that is… so…

“decorate my locker-ish”

God love ’em, but that page makes me want to puke from all the sappiness.

@ Port Trojan: We believe that’s Joe PalmWine.

“… and it was shining like a star.” Something tells me Casey is not majoring in Creative Writing at Arkansas.

Casey and Felicia,

Take your joy whenever and wherever you can. Let the rest of the nay-sayers hang. Life’s too short to second guess yourself based on someone else’s blind and/or jaded opinion after only 20 seconds of thought on the subject.

Yes, by the way. I was 21, she was a month shy of 20, and we’re still going strong after 26 years together and four kids.

OK, so I’m pretty sure their picture slideshow is a trailer for one of those late-night Cinemax movies. And they took her mom to Cabo for Spring Break?? Awesome.

14

GT- Will Felicia Dick be envious of Mike Hunt?

I didn’t notice any mention of the 11 of 29 for 94 yards and 2 INT’s performance last Saturday vs. Kentucky on their site.

And I’m pretty sure you need more than 13 wins vs. BCS teams as a starter in your 3 1/2 year career to wear those “his and her” jeans.

As someone who wisely got married at the age of 28, I totally agree, Orson. But, in their defense, would YOU have listened to advice coming from someone like … you?

i keeed.

I’m off to make a website with closeups of me cupping my wife’s left tit.

You think getting through your 20s while married is like wandering in Namibia, the 30s are a real surprise and delight. Especially if you panic and yield to the biological imperative to spawn. All of a sudden Windhoek starts to look better than whatever sand-dune you seem to have mortgaged the next 30 years for.

/met his wife when they were 23 and 22 respectively
//didn’t have to look up capital of Namibia
///mid-life crisis! live and in HD (High Desperation)!

From an email conversation I had yesterday:

I also love how she didn’t even take time to proofread her damn engagement site. Unless he really was wearing just workout cloths and not clothes.

Additional Observations:

1. He was there “do to a back injury sustained from football.”

2. She loves his determination to succeed at everything he does. Excluding playing QB, I guess.

3. She’s always there “for support for hard and good times.” What Casey forgets is that life is easy in the “hard and good times.” It’s the “soft and bad times” that are really tough on a couple.

4. Did they go on spring break with her family? Loser.

I’m still puzzled by the efforts made to make the internet look like bark.

@Native Son: Hell no. We’re just saying that in a situation like this, someone’s going to get the short end of the stick, maturity-wise. In our case, it was our wife.

I agree with Orson on this. And, you MUST go through at least one weekend of Boone’s Farm, hookers, and gambling BEFORE you get married. Because if you do it AFTER you get married, well, let’s just say it’s not a good thing when you get home. Not that I know from experience or anything.

Sulli @ #19…like I said, everyone must live their own karma…

…but what is fun are those defending a largely self-flagellating web-site and the mentality (or lack thereof) behind it, and those who so adeptly parody the examples of excessive sap and spelling/syntax/usage errors in said site.

I thought the slideshow music was appropriate. Nothing says “I’m respected far beyond my actual results” quite like Jason Mraz.

Do done did it indeed . . .

She reminds me of Carley Bobby, Ricky Bobby’s wife. You could change the name of the move to “Fayetteville Nights: The Ballad of Casey Dick” and it’d still be funny.

I have this mental image of them having dinner with her family – Casey Dick praying to the Dear Lord Baby Jesus, thanking Him for their wonderful meal, his two beautiful sons, “Walker,Texas Ranger,” and his red-hot smokin’ wife, Felicia.

Happy Mustache Wednesday, Felicia Dick!

A) I always wondered how a college student affords a diamond ring. Shit – I could barely scrap up $5 for drinkin’ with Lincoln.
B) Are those Jordache jeans???

If there was a single picture of Felicia that didn’t have a Dick in it, every white sock that I own that didn’t want to end up yellow would be fleeing my sock-drawer like Japanese villagers running from Godzilla.

So if I was born in Namibia’s neighbor and therefore know an awful lot about the country, does that mean that I knew a lot about myself at 22?

#25
Impressive, but have you had a Windhoek Lager?

What will the Dick spawn be named?

Hugh G. Dick
Rick Dick
Harry Dick

or maybe it’ll be a girl.

Headie Dick
Rosie Dick
Benita Dick
Crystal Dick
Emma Dick
Monica (Mo) Dick

Jonathon @ 36: No, dammit. I think my African beer experience begins and ends with Tusker and Lion, unless you go the ownership route and count Pilsner Urquel, Perroni, MGD, and the dreaded Carling Black Label from SABMiller.

BOB- you forgot the obvious choice…

Anita Dick

#14

that was the first thing I thought of…

Felicia’s new name is an omitted soft ‘c’ sound away from becoming “Fellate-ya Dick”

Can’t blame Casey here—you gotta lock that down.

I smell a small town gold digger here, she just hasn’t admitted it to herself yet. No way she spends the rest of her life as “Mrs Dick”! As soon as he doesn’t get drafted or gets cut from his 1st NFL training camp, the wheels come off that wagon.

Seeing those ears makes me wonder how far ’ol Tubbs has been spreading his seed, lo these past 20 years.

@12 – In Fayetteville, those are called butterbeans.

whk lager is ok, if it’s the only thing you can get. i’d ask for hansa first and tafel second. namibian beer is great as long as the colonial german brewmasters don’t peace out. for the record, i spent part of my 20s in namibia getting to know my lady and decided i liked the empty space more than i did her psycho babble.

@37
…don’t forget…
Annita Dick

Casey Dick wears gay man jeans.

but she has REALLY nice jugs.

Ear fetish? That’s a new one to me.

What if he had said he noticed her because of a boob fetish?

“Yeah, I realized she has rocking awesome tits and that’s how it all started.”

@48 — Umm…that’s probably how it DID start. At least in all likelihood.

I see your point, but Orson, take it from an aging couple with young children — nature wants you to have those kids early in life, before the idea of sore backs occurs to you, before you ever get used to quiet Sunday mornings.

Damn, being called Mrs Dick for the rest of your life….why do I hear porn music in the background?

Pow chicka pow wow

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

This is the worst website I have ever seen. Spelling, grammar, punctuation… who needs it?!? It’s as though they gave the English language a big middle finger and told it to fuck off and stay out of their wedding/engagement story.

Holy shit, they’re in college. Makes me more depressed/resentful that I have to save ungodly sums of money for my future kid’s college education, and it will barely amount to what I got out of high school.

Funniest part about the website was from the ‘10 things I love about _’

Casey’s list included: ‘I love how she is ready to go to bed around 9 o’clock every night.’

He knows what’s what with that comment. She wants her Dick at 9pm every night— who is he to argue?

All right, let’s not kid ourselves, if any of us had the chance to marry someone that looked like her when we were 22 we’d all have jumped at the chance. 50/50 shot it ends up being the wrong decision, but that wouldn’t stop us.

I’m willing to cut him a lot of slack simply because of her looks, but giving away his balls is just too high a price to pay. He is so whipped it’s not even funny…I doubt there is a cheesier website anywhere in the world.

It just goes to show that football will always be a game and life matters more. sarcasm

@41 – nice Arrested Development reference.

and yeah, if a chick that looks like that wanted me back when i was in college, i certainly wouldn’t wait around to see if anything better came along. a hand in the bush is worth two in the… wait…