DON’T DO IT, KIDS
As someone who got married far too young for his spouse’s or his own good: please, Casey Dick and the future Mrs. Dick: don’t do it yet. (Mrs. Dick: reason for pause alone there.)
Oh, sure the site’s cute and all, right down to the story of how they met and how the future Mrs. Dick’s “ear fetish” drew her irresistibly toward the Arkansas quarterback like some kind of fleshy wrinkled tractor beam.
…but don’t do it. You know about as much about yourself at 22 as you do about the nation of Namibia: it’s there, you’ve seen pictures of it and perhaps a few maps, and you imagine that it probably exists and has a few odd beasts in it. In your twenties, you’ll actually go to Nambia, and discover that it is full of beasts, has very few resources, and is mostly empty space. If you’re married, surprise! You get to share that disappointment with someone else discovering much the same thing at the same time, only with the omnipresent pressure of keeping the lights on simultaneously bearing down on you or, should you have a career crisis or mental breakdown of sorts, on your spouse.
(That is a statement made by someone who’s somehow still married to the person they married at a young age, a feat made possible through the patience and accomplishments of the author’s spouse, and most definitely not the author.)
So, to review: don’t get married before 25 at the least, kids. It’s dumb, even if you are second in the SEC in passing yardage.










51
DrB says:
Damn, being called Mrs Dick for the rest of your life….why do I hear porn music in the background?
Pow chicka pow wow
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:11 pm
52
BennyLava says:
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
This is the worst website I have ever seen. Spelling, grammar, punctuation… who needs it?!? It’s as though they gave the English language a big middle finger and told it to fuck off and stay out of their wedding/engagement story.
Holy shit, they’re in college. Makes me more depressed/resentful that I have to save ungodly sums of money for my future kid’s college education, and it will barely amount to what I got out of high school.
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:21 pm
53
EireHog says:
Funniest part about the website was from the ‘10 things I love about _____’
Casey’s list included: ‘I love how she is ready to go to bed around 9 o’clock every night.’
He knows what’s what with that comment. She wants her Dick at 9pm every night– who is he to argue?
October 23rd, 2008 at 10:44 am
54
Dave says:
All right, let’s not kid ourselves, if any of us had the chance to marry someone that looked like her when we were 22 we’d all have jumped at the chance. 50/50 shot it ends up being the wrong decision, but that wouldn’t stop us.
October 23rd, 2008 at 8:58 pm
55
Jay says:
I’m willing to cut him a lot of slack simply because of her looks, but giving away his balls is just too high a price to pay. He is so whipped it’s not even funny…I doubt there is a cheesier website anywhere in the world.
October 24th, 2008 at 10:51 am
56
ryan says:
It just goes to show that football will always be a game and life matters more. *sarcasm*
December 15th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
57
somewherenorth says:
@41 – nice Arrested Development reference.
and yeah, if a chick that looks like that wanted me back when i was in college, i certainly wouldn’t wait around to see if anything better came along. a hand in the bush is worth two in the… wait…
December 16th, 2008 at 12:23 am