AN ANATOMY OF SADNESS
Mike Sherman succeeds where even the loathsome Dennis Franchione could not: he has crushed the last bulwark of a despondent fan, hatred, and left Texas A&M fans intent on his firing devoid of all emotion. UP TOP, BRAH!
It is because of the utterly despondent state of affairs with Texas A&M football that Aggies have completely given up on their football team making it poor business for popular sites like ours and the A&M section of the Houston Chronicle to thrive. Therefore, this page will be the last posted by AggieCoach.com and then we are shutting down.
How did he do it? AggieCoach.com led the charge spear-first into Franchione’s gullet, proving that while Aggie fans were downtrodden, they were at least an angry, stabby kind of oppressed, ready at a second’s notice to revolt and feast upon the well-marbled carcass of Franchione. Yet, faced with the Ineffable Sadness of Mike Sherman, they wilt and evaporate in the cushy, love-handled shadow of his presence.
A quick comparison of faces alone may help to explain the total malaise creeping through the ranks of the 12th Man right now:
Franchione: Contemptibly smug-looking. Liked his ironed polos. Clearly concerned about outer appearances. Dying for direct hit to the face with frying pan. Kept same countenance no matter the record, abysmal though it might be.
Sherman: Perpetually sad-looking. Rumpled. Wears Bahama shirts in Aggie colors. Could plausibly prefer muu-muus to actual clothes, or least a bathrobe, a pair of voluminous boxers, and a wife-bearter. Appears on the verge of falling asleep most of the time. The remainder of the time, is asleep.
Most importantly, it may be the complete lack of hope that is crushing the very life out of Aggie fans at the moment. At least under Franchione there would be the odd win here and there, the rivalry game upsets over Texas, the flashes of competence that keep getting him hired by one program after another. Mike Sherman’s Aggie teams have, thus far, lacked even the glimmers of hope, almost losing to Army before coughing up double digit losses to all three of their conference opponents thus far.
Aggiecoach.com waving the white flag is proof positive that once you’ve hit rock bottom, it’s not a given that things have to get better; in fact, rather than going straight up, you can be dragged along the rocky, barren floor of the sea for years at a time, or even sucked into underground chasm where Mortlek, the King of the Man-eating Undersea Worm-sharks, feasts on your helpless, beaten body for years at a stretch. But enough about Syracuse: for the moment, the story at College Station is further proof that when the hands are shown, a royal flush of despair beats anger any day.











1
Noel Devine's Gold Teef says:
I have a feeling a similar piece will be written in the very near future about WVU and Bill “Uncle Willie” Stewart. God help us.
October 21st, 2008 at 2:40 pm
2
Crabapple Buck says:
Mike Sherman should have a caftan with the aTm logo on it. Sorta Cary Grantish.
Who owns fireaggiecoach.com? I bet they get plenty of hits. But since it is his first year in trying to clean up after Franchione, he will get an industrial strength pass.
October 21st, 2008 at 2:44 pm
3
MicroscopicElvis says:
The dearth of coverage and surfeit of apathy in College Station/Houston stands in stark contrast to the fishwrap in Madison, who only now wonders if it was a good idea to give 1.5 million a year to Brett Bielema despite his Rumsfeldian inability to adjust a plan mid-game (or war, if you will).
October 21st, 2008 at 2:57 pm
4
Texy says:
I can’t think of another fanbase that is more deserving of total and complete irrelevance.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:04 pm
5
Nutter says:
Nothing sader than seeing the Aggies longing for the “good old days” of R.C. Slocum.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:11 pm
6
hailstate says:
Even in their pursuit of running off a head coach, Aggie fans are weird.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:13 pm
7
Douglas says:
While looking at those stadium pics, you’d have to agree they’ve fallen on hard times. But I think the piss-poor state of Aggie football has nothing to do with the newspapers pulling their beat reporters from College Station. Anyone that’s been observing the establishment media recognizes that the newspaper business is contracting, not expanding. Many newspapers are in their death throes. I bet the decision to outsource coverage to another paper was a budget decision that was going to happen anyway. Newspapers everywhere are firing beat writers and replacing them with outsourced or syndicated content.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:25 pm
8
Albino Tornado says:
Dollar Bill Byrne’s football coaching hires as an AD:
Frank Solich (only partial credit, because Osborne totally rope-a-doped him)
Dennis Franchoine
Mike Sherman
And if there’s one thing Nebraska fans know to be the truest, fastest route to immediate success, it’s hiring an ex-NFL offensive coach with Jurassic-era collegiate experience.
And where does aggiecoach.com get away with fellating “respected Athletic Director Bill Byrne?” Bill Byrne wants to win the NCAA Director’s Cup more than you’ve wanted anything in your life, and he will neglect your football program to improve women’s rifle if he thinks it’ll help your university’s Director’s Cup standings. Bill Byrne and Mike Sherman took Nebraska’s castoffs from Bill Callahan’s and Steve Pederson’s staff and called it victory:
Randy Jordan (Running Backs Coach)
Buddy Wyatt (Defensive Line)
Dave Kennedy (Strength & Conditioning)
Tim Cassidy (Assoc. AD for Football)
October 21st, 2008 at 3:27 pm
9
PaperBagAg says:
The hate is solely focused on our AD $Bill Byrne. If I have to read one more condescending “Wednesday Weekly” I will begin kicking puppies like it’s 4th and 2 in the 4th quarter against OU on our 30 at Kyle while down 4. This motherfucker gets a hard-on every time he talks about the successes of the women’s synchronized knitting team and glossing over his TOTAL FUCKING INCOMPETENCE! If is see this bastard in person he will receive a prompt gig em to the left eye.
phew, that felt good.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:36 pm
10
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Hey, I hear Tubbs or Fulmer may be on the market soon enough….will know in about 6 weeks.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:39 pm
11
Laugh says:
#8 Byrne did not hire Fran. His hires in other sports have been consistently good. The Sherman hire continues to mystify.
#10 I’m not sure I’ve ever quite understood the calls to send Tubbs packing. Do they actually come from within the Auburn community?
October 21st, 2008 at 4:06 pm
12
Ag20 says:
Easy, Texy. No need to kick us when we’re most assuredly down.
However, let me say that “Aggiecoach” is a total goon, a person that apparently believes that if you write it, it is automatically so. This is just another guy, like so many fans, who spits out things like, “I’ve got the perfect plan to turn this around!! Why won’t anyone listen to me?!?!” with no regard as to how ludicrous his “plans” are.
But in all actuality, the team has improved since the start of the year. I know, I know, how pathetic is it that THAT is the facet of our program in which we take solace. But Sherman’ll be ok–he’s making do with the extremely limited resources (no def speed, extreme inexperience on OL). If you saw the game Sat, Tech had their hands full.
See you all in about two years, hopefully…
October 21st, 2008 at 4:07 pm
13
Laugh says:
I’m sorry. I meant to say that Byrne had very little to do with Fran’s hiring. He was the AD at the time though.
October 21st, 2008 at 4:09 pm
14
Gene ParmesAg says:
Byrne didn’t make the Fran hire, but he did give him the ridiculous extension after winning seven games (including a loss to Baylor) in 04. He cited job openings at LSU and Notre Dame for the reasons behind the extension. Complete bullshit.
That extension (and new facilities) handicapped Byrne financially in the new coach search and forced him to rely on Houston boosters who wanted Sherman.
He’s been good for every other aspect of the AD, but he doesn’t know the first thing about building a football program.
October 21st, 2008 at 4:20 pm
15
Douglas says:
#11
Until I see proof to the contrary (and I mean proof, not “I heard from my buddy with close ties to Rich Alum X), no one at Auburn is trying to run off Tuberville. Any school has a few dissenting fans, and Auburn is no exception here. But his support among alums and the fanbase has been pretty strong, and remains so.
Now some of his assistants… eh, not so much.
But most of the talk you hear about Tuberville looking to escape to Clemson or elsewhere is hokum. We hear this every single year, and it’s mostly wishful thinking from some opposing fans, who view this kind of stuff has helping out their own schools with some psychological warfare in recruiting.
October 21st, 2008 at 4:21 pm
16
TAFKastOSUB says:
10 years ago Ohio State beat aTm in the Sugar Bowl 24-14 as the BCS at large team (aTm was the Big 12 Champion). The memories!!!
You might not want to believe this, but it is fact.
There was a time when the Big Ten Champ went to the Rose Bowl 2 years in a row and beat the Pac 10 Champ (Wisconsin) and the Big Ten runner up teams got the BCS at large bids and those teams went on to beat conference champions.
Ohio State did it 1998 and Michigan did it in 1999 by beating Alabama (SEC Champ).
Baffles the mind doesn’t it…that the Big Ten runner up would get an at large BCS bid and beat other conference champions, including an SEC champion.
October 21st, 2008 at 4:29 pm
17
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Tubs is a good coach. A big game coach. A coach who expects his coaches to coach their position without getting overcoached. And if they dont meet the standards they are replaced by another coach.
He has made it this far by beating Bama and other teams that he wasnt supposed to beat. Bama was a given for the past 6 yrs, but now not so much. Plus he is losing games he is supposed to win since he has supposedly gotten better talent that Vandy and Arkansas. And I dont think he is getting past Bama, and I am sure Saban will try his damnest to hang 50 on him..and Miss State…..I really wanted Auburn to be really good this year, but its looking like they are headed to Suckville with a one way ticket.
October 21st, 2008 at 4:41 pm
18
Last Dragon says:
@6 – so true.
October 21st, 2008 at 4:53 pm
19
DrBundy says:
The Aggicoach.com dude needs to realize that Tom Benson (owner of the New Orleans Saints) keeps 100% of all concession revenue at the Superdome, even for non-Saints events. Therefore, if LSU plays, LSU receives no money from concessions. However, if LSU plays in Tiger Stadium, LSU keeps 100% of all concession revenue. I can’t think of a single reason why LSU would sign a 20 year deal with anyone, including Texas A&M, to play every other year in the ‘Dome and make very little money when they can play at a stadium on campus and make very much money.
The only reason LSU plays a home and home series with Tulane every year is because Tulane agreed to give LSU a significant portion of ticket sales, thereby assuring Tulane that more than 2000 folks would see at least one Tulane game live. Nevermind that 98% of them are for the opposing team…
October 21st, 2008 at 5:10 pm
20
West Tex gal says:
I think the $11.1M buyout Sherman managed to negotiate (second only to Saban) should automatically remove him from the “hot seat” since there is NO way ATM can afford to fire him.
I also think the mere the fact that a 60+ year old man with no prior head college coaching experience was able to get a 6 year guaranteed contract should mean immediate termination for the AD.
October 21st, 2008 at 5:25 pm
21
cyclonestate says:
i think we can take aTm this weekend. maybe.
October 21st, 2008 at 5:41 pm
22
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
I was there at that Michigan game, a good back and forth game in overtime, in which, our kicker, missed the tying XP to give Michigan the win…some QB from Michigan was named Brady, or something like that.
October 21st, 2008 at 5:54 pm
23
oc phil says:
I recognize a particular strand of crazy at work in this Aggiecoach.com guy.
It comes when you have a “little brother” school living in the shadow of a more elite rival and the little brother’s fans can remember a stretch of time when they were able to beat their rival. Just because they hit an up cycle at the same time the rival was on a down cycle they assume that it should stay that way forever. But schools tend to revert to their natural levels and the top schools rise again to the top while the middle tier schools sink to wait for another convergence of cycles that pushes them up for another visit to the top level.
And when that happens the fans of the little brother school get psychotically angry because they feel entitled to the success that they knew when they were on an up cycle and got to experience life not in the shadow of the big brother school.
So my theory is that the reason that Oklahoma State or Michigan State fans are not psychotic loons like this guy or the whack jobs at BruinsNation is because MSU has never had the chance to eclipse big blue’s shadow and OSU has never been better than OU for an extended time.
Which means that should Saban be able to keep Alabama on top, we are all in for some serious entertainment this here interweb.
October 21st, 2008 at 7:21 pm
24
NewAZTiger says:
#17: Question: Why do you guys say your program was down for the past 6 years when the Iron Bowl is played on the last regular season of the year and 2 times in the current streak Alabama was ranked #10 or higher at game time?
#10 at the end of the regular season is not “down”.
October 21st, 2008 at 8:05 pm
25
Damn Strong Football Team says:
I can remember, in years gone by, when aTm and LSU played every year on labor day weekend in a sort of sister school type arrangement (LSU is really Louisisana State University and Agricultural and Mechanical College). Then, of course, everyone had to start thinking about poll position (pun?) and style points.
October 21st, 2008 at 8:39 pm
26
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
#24
a number 10 ranking is down when you have Mike Shula as your coach……
October 21st, 2008 at 9:29 pm
27
ehrenb2 says:
This guy’s plan would be absolutely criminal if instituted by the AD. I especially liked the “Give up 2 home games and a road game to play 3 neutral site games, 2 of which aTm would consistently lose” plan. This guy has a massive hard-on for neutral site tournaments which would just cost the school potential revenue while not having any real impact on recruiting.
Also, 2 bye weeks in the first 8? Really?
October 21st, 2008 at 11:24 pm
28
BangingYourWife says:
aggiecoach.com didn’t do a damn thing other than expose it’s creator as a total complete effing moron.
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:07 am
29
Laugh says:
You know the strangest part about that picture of Sherman? His arms aren’t actually resting on anything.
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:13 am
30
J_Train booty says:
the d-bag behind aggiecoach.com is one of the most prominent jackholes in the history of know nothing jackholes.
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
31
Rex Racer says:
So I guess the government check is no longer sufficient to pay for the domain name, huh?
Well, good riddance. Don’t let the door hit you in the arse on the way out.
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:01 pm