OPEN THREAD, FIRST MEAL: ALTERNATE ENDINGS
by Orson on Oct 18, 2008 12:12 PM EDT
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PrintThe first part of the college football season is much like the fabled "alternate ending": the story seems to be moving along for you, the hero gets in position to rescue the heroine clinging to the side of the train...and then they miss the cars, fall between the cars, and are ground to snausages by the wheels of the train.
ROLL CREDITS! Fortunately, we are into act two already, where your team is stitched back together, survives, and then finds themselves steaming along on a beautiful cruise through the ocean, the wind in their hair...and then everything blows up. Again.
Celebrate the cycle of life, death, and the magic of editing your football memory in the open thread.
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WaaaHooo, GT Clemson on ESPN. Have not paid much attention to the schedule this week so, its a nice surprise. Ten AM here in Denver, so I am enjoying the game with some…. coffee?
by skinnyphatman on Oct 18, 2008 12:20 PM EDT reply actions
Nice playcall, Dabo. Better throw, Grisham.
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 12:22 PM EDT reply actions
The Willy Korn era is not off to an enterprising start.
“The savior of the program just got - PICKED! PICKED! PICKED!…..six….”
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 12:23 PM EDT reply actions
On a positive note, it only took 5 drives for someone to get a first down.
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 12:25 PM EDT reply actions
Never mind — it was the wideout….
/hung over
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 12:27 PM EDT reply actions
Oh my fucking God. Wisconsin might be the worst D1 team right now. Well, second-worst (forgot about Wazzu).
How the FUCK does Wisconsin fail to convert every single 3rd & short?
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 12:28 PM EDT reply actions
Willy Korn—the game is “Falling Away from Me”
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Oct 18, 2008 12:28 PM EDT reply actions
Smack the arm, get a rainbow pick.
BEEEEES.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 12:31 PM EDT reply actions
That’s two INTs for the BEEEEES after morgan hits korn’s arm as he’s throwing and korn throws a pop-fly
by kizzak on Oct 18, 2008 12:31 PM EDT reply actions
More like “Yabba Dabo Don’t”. Yuk yuk yuk.
/shoots self
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 12:31 PM EDT reply actions
The self-righteousness of Pasch & Ware about Harper and Spiller talking ish about Coach Bitch Mentality is sickening.
Y’know, Harper just happened to be right.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 12:38 PM EDT reply actions
Clemson’s offense has become Virginia Tech’s offense.
by I'm A Lasagna Hog on Oct 18, 2008 12:42 PM EDT reply actions
The world has returned to normal. Wisconsin quarterback cannot throw a simple spiral. Appears to be throwing into a hurricane, although the flags are limp.
My kingdom for a Brooks Bollinger 5th year. Or a defense. Or a coach. How about just a bye week to kill the pain.
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 12:50 PM EDT reply actions
This Clemson/GT game makes me want to gouge my eyes out. It makes me miss watching Auburn’s offense this year.
by WarCardinals on Oct 18, 2008 12:57 PM EDT reply actions
Stay tuned for a very special feature during the third quarter of the game as Pasch and Ware will have special guest Tommy Bowden in the booth to give him a consolation blowjob on air.
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 12:57 PM EDT reply actions
Was the Clemson mascot wearing a bee-keeping hat? Hilarious.
by softbatch on Oct 18, 2008 1:02 PM EDT reply actions
Just in case, and it looks like this may not be necessary, but, on the off chance ESPN does not show my quote about the Bowden situation here it is. You will probably see it on ESPN some time in the 2nd half…
Well, I though he would make it through the end of the season after he fired his OC…. What? Oh, you mean Clemson, not Auburn, they are kind of the same aren’t they? A tiger is one of Auburn’s mascots, right? It’s too bad he did not make it longer, I mean, who doesn’t want to see unending coverage of Bowden’s Mom/Wife during the House Divided game? Didn’t you promise me beer for my thoughts… where is it?
Skinnyphatman
by skinnyphatman on Oct 18, 2008 1:03 PM EDT reply actions
Jesus, Andre. Get off your high horse. The “kids” are making you your money out on the field; to say they should sit down and shut up is stupid.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 1:13 PM EDT reply actions
It really goes without saying, but there truly is nothing better than a lazy Saturday filled with college football.
Especially when that lazy Saturday follows a night of molly-induced fun at a Trey Anastasio show.
by AllWhoYonder on Oct 18, 2008 1:15 PM EDT reply actions
GT’s offensive line apparently just realized their goal is to block the defensive players rather than letting them through untouched.
by kizzak on Oct 18, 2008 1:16 PM EDT reply actions
Why didn’t we offer D.J. Moore again?
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 1:17 PM EDT reply actions
GT’s kicker made a terrible kick, but saved his own ass by tackling the return man. And then GT intercepts again. Insane.
by softbatch on Oct 18, 2008 1:20 PM EDT reply actions
Wisconsin Football: Returning to our pre-1989 shitty form.
Beautiful. Even if I am cheering for Iowa.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Oct 18, 2008 1:22 PM EDT reply actions
BZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Nothing as fun to watch when the triple option dekes a defense so hard that you can get a massive pass play on.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 1:24 PM EDT reply actions
Stafford just threw a strike in the red zone. Now look for the pick and/or hyper-conservative playcalling that results in a field goal…
by Sparrow on Oct 18, 2008 1:27 PM EDT reply actions
For everyone looking for a single justifiable reason to not rank TT in the top 10, I present exhibit A: the sucktastic slap fight against TAMU.
by Der Schatten on Oct 18, 2008 1:31 PM EDT reply actions
@30
as a buckeye fan, you’ll have those games! We usaually have one or two a year!!LOL
by chitown on Oct 18, 2008 1:34 PM EDT reply actions
Lou really shouldn’t be talking about intentionally misinterpreting other people’s statements right now
by kizzak on Oct 18, 2008 1:36 PM EDT reply actions
Lou Holtz didn’t mean to say Hitler was a great leader. He meant Stalin, actually.
by Orson Swindle on Oct 18, 2008 1:37 PM EDT reply actions
Holeeeeeee shit. TAMU up on T. Tech at the half.
by Orson Swindle on Oct 18, 2008 1:43 PM EDT reply actions
Jerrod Johnson looks like a JaMarcus Russell clone, right down to the appetite.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 1:44 PM EDT reply actions
I write this only because the “EAT THE COCKS” towel (“Beat the Cocks” held by well-placed hands) was missed during the Ky game last week, but please tell me that someone with the technology to do so will capture the overweight Ga fan that Raycom just showed doing the robot.
by LushBaptist on Oct 18, 2008 1:45 PM EDT reply actions
I think what Lou Holtz said was that Hitler was a great reader, and his lisp got him again. After all, both Hitler and Rich Rod were adept and finding loopholes in contracts/treaties.
by Rawk on Oct 18, 2008 1:46 PM EDT reply actions
Some lucky calls, and Vanderbilt’s on the board. Adams is giving me regular heart attacks with his interceptions and almost-interceptions, though.
by HOSS on Oct 18, 2008 1:49 PM EDT reply actions
Dayumm Georgia, why dont ya just penalize yourself and give Vandy 6 pts….ohhh ya just did, giving Vandy the momentum going into the half….
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 18, 2008 1:49 PM EDT reply actions
LushBaptist—
Give us the time if you have it, and we will make it so.
by Orson Swindle on Oct 18, 2008 1:50 PM EDT reply actions
Is there really no one on the team who could replace Evans? Jeebus, he is terrible!
by Sparrow on Oct 18, 2008 1:53 PM EDT reply actions
Something is just natural about the way Andre Ware rattles off the names of teams that run spread offenses as ESPN plays porn music in the background.
by Rawk on Oct 18, 2008 1:53 PM EDT reply actions
That Vandy touchdown was a gift from the officials
by ElectricSweater on Oct 18, 2008 1:54 PM EDT reply actions
I think it was the crowd shot going into the timeout/commercial break immediately before Vandy scored (or the one before that one maybe), but I’m doing too many things at once to have caught the exact time.
by LushBaptist on Oct 18, 2008 1:56 PM EDT reply actions
has anyone heard that Tommy Bowden got fired!!! christ andre we get it!! It is difficult with a new coach!
by chi-town on Oct 18, 2008 1:57 PM EDT reply actions
“Anybody ready for some grits!?”
Thank you Clemson, for perpetuating every stereotype I have.
by offcampus on Oct 18, 2008 2:02 PM EDT reply actions
I’m glad that I am not the only one who witnessed the grits man, given the total suckitude of this GT/Clemson game.
I may be a Yankee, but I would eat those grits.
by Josh on Oct 18, 2008 2:03 PM EDT reply actions
The special ingredient in my grits is the blood of my enemies.
by BurritoBrosShits on Oct 18, 2008 2:04 PM EDT reply actions
While I’m happy GT kept the ball, running into the kicker almost always is bullshit, it seems.
by softbatch on Oct 18, 2008 2:05 PM EDT reply actions
The entire Azzurri squad thinks Scott Blair should be yellow-carded.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 2:07 PM EDT reply actions
I had grits for breakfast this morning. I neglected to put 6 sticks of butter in them, however. Or sour cream.
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 2:07 PM EDT reply actions
Is it just me, or when your team isn’t playing on a weekend you just stop giving a shit about the other games? I’m seriously having trouble watching any of these games.
by BurritoBrosShits on Oct 18, 2008 2:07 PM EDT reply actions
Take a drink when the camera shows Clemson dancing overalls girl.
by softbatch on Oct 18, 2008 2:08 PM EDT reply actions
@51- My Southern sin of the morning: I used the microwave kind for breakfast. For shame.
by BurritoBrosShits on Oct 18, 2008 2:09 PM EDT reply actions
WHO WANTS SOME GRITS WOOOOOOOOO!!!
Pretty sure that approach will get you elected in SC.
by Orson Swindle on Oct 18, 2008 2:09 PM EDT reply actions
Vicious rumor floating around that Willykorn has a broken collarbone.
Tech cracked Korn and I don’t care.
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 2:12 PM EDT reply actions
Seeing THAT guy cheering was actually worth Clemson scoring, God I love DVR.
by offcampus on Oct 18, 2008 2:18 PM EDT reply actions
@#58
That guy was the stuff nightmares are made of.
by Rawk on Oct 18, 2008 2:19 PM EDT reply actions
Knowshon Moreno is really good at football.
by ElectricSweater on Oct 18, 2008 2:19 PM EDT reply actions
Does Vandy defend the run? It looks like they are playing one hand touch football without touching the opponent…..I guess dont want to mess up their ascots and their monocles…..I think Vandy as a team is powered by NASDAQ, when its up, they are up, when its down, they are down…..just like their trust funds….
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 18, 2008 2:25 PM EDT reply actions
Has anyone told Wisconsin that they’re a more talented team than Iowa? 28-7 Squawkeyes.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Oct 18, 2008 2:26 PM EDT reply actions
Wait, they have microwave grits? I thought they have only evolved to the Jiffy-Grits stage.
by ChasingMizzou on Oct 18, 2008 2:29 PM EDT reply actions
Maryland, I just don’t understand you and your crazy ways.
by SuperJew on Oct 18, 2008 2:31 PM EDT reply actions
Now theres the Vandy I know and love…Vandy is getting reminded that the dream is really over and that they beat a really bad Auburn team,and they can go from being the “prince” of the SEC and back to being the frog of the SEC, where they belong…
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 18, 2008 2:35 PM EDT reply actions
#66:
Neither is Clemson, which is why we’re watching a third-class cripple fight.
by SuperJew on Oct 18, 2008 2:39 PM EDT reply actions
This just in, the TAMU front four is an abomination. Yaw Yaw needs to get on the stick.
by Der Schatten on Oct 18, 2008 2:40 PM EDT reply actions
/What has to happen for Brian Evans to get benched?
by ElectricSweater on Oct 18, 2008 2:42 PM EDT reply actions
A&M rushing 3 and dropping 8 vs. T. Tech’s “Go to an open spot” offense.
I’m surprised they don’t draw up a play in the dirt in the huddle and play hurry up so they can get more plays in before the recess bell rings.
by ChasingMizzou on Oct 18, 2008 2:42 PM EDT reply actions
Does anyone else think swinny is “overcoaching” for the cameras?
by chi-town on Oct 18, 2008 2:43 PM EDT reply actions
I was just saying—Jamie Graham= Frisbee Catching Dog…..and Vandy will have to live on turnovers since it looks like they cant slow Jawja down..
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 18, 2008 2:45 PM EDT reply actions
chi-town, he’s doing his best Muschamp impersonation.
by SuperJew on Oct 18, 2008 2:46 PM EDT reply actions
Man, does Georgia know how not to get a pass interference penalty? I may be taking my words back, looks like Georgia is really trying to make Vandy look competitive…..Dawgs are so generous lately…..
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 18, 2008 2:49 PM EDT reply actions
THE GRO-HAWK LIVES IN TAMPA!
And also BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
by JD on Oct 18, 2008 2:49 PM EDT reply actions
@ 75
That’s been their M.O. this season. Play smart foobaw, let the other team beat themselves, and capitalize when they do.
And touchdown, Wreck.
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 2:50 PM EDT reply actions
Wisconsin’s last obtainable goal is pretty much toast now.
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 2:51 PM EDT reply actions
So…. noone’s watching the suckfest that is Rutgers/UConn?
by beckett on Oct 18, 2008 2:52 PM EDT reply actions
Is Dabo the pretend Head Coach, or the real HC that will be fired for losing to Tech on Monday?
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 18, 2008 2:54 PM EDT reply actions
@81: Just Edsall is God. The rest of us are damaging our brains in far more entertaining fashions….like huffing Lysol.
by Der Schatten on Oct 18, 2008 2:55 PM EDT reply actions
…so that’s why Korn was elected to start the game. God, that was a weak throw by Clemson’s bitch QB.
by SuperJew on Oct 18, 2008 2:58 PM EDT reply actions
Raycom just reported that Moreno has rushed for 1127 yards today. I know he’s good, but I had no idea…
by Sparrow on Oct 18, 2008 3:00 PM EDT reply actions
@86, yeah the first td throw from Harper was a terrible underthrow that would probably have been knocked down at least by the GT cornerback except he did something to his hamstring and fell in the back of the endzone leaving curry alone for an easy catch
by kizzak on Oct 18, 2008 3:01 PM EDT reply actions
I have never seen a half a football(michigan game) do more destruction to a season than it has for wisconsin! wow!
by chi-town on Oct 18, 2008 3:02 PM EDT reply actions
Maryland: Beat Delaware by 7. Lose to Middle Tennessee State by 10. Beat California. Beat Clemson. Shut out by Al Groh. Shutting out Wake Forest.
Srsly?
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 3:02 PM EDT reply actions
God must hate Clemson and their creamsicle uniform.
by SuperJew on Oct 18, 2008 3:04 PM EDT reply actions
- 90:
Apparently Orson’s coin came up heads today… meaning ‘confusing win’..
by beckett on Oct 18, 2008 3:04 PM EDT reply actions
Could someone do those of us who enjoy a wager every now and then a favor? Get some Prozac in the Terps’ supply of Gatorade.
Most schizo team ever.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 3:05 PM EDT reply actions
for the record… breakfast of grits and country ham this a.m. also for the record… showing my devotion by enduring the wake forest/maryland clownfest as the early game.
by kleph on Oct 18, 2008 3:05 PM EDT reply actions
Boise State did it better.
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 3:06 PM EDT reply actions
As an aside, I am now a complete advocate of fall weddings. Last week, I was in a small room in the back of the church’s fellowship hall watching the Texas-Oklahoma game. If that wedding had been in June, we might have had to talk about feelings, or something.
And the text message updates of the Florida-LSU game during the reception weren’t half bad either.
/come on, Vandy
by Grimey on Oct 18, 2008 3:07 PM EDT reply actions
Hook and ladder turns into a fumble and turnover.
The source of the Bitch Mentality was lanced off, but the disease is still strong in Death Valley.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 3:07 PM EDT reply actions
Hi-larious. The Vandy fan showin’ his guns — and his tattoos.
by HOSS on Oct 18, 2008 3:10 PM EDT reply actions
@ 90
God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates ACC football.
by poguemahone on Oct 18, 2008 3:11 PM EDT reply actions
Is Clemson the only school with the AD roaming the sideline?
Burnett with ints at the end of both halves
by kizzak on Oct 18, 2008 3:11 PM EDT reply actions
#97:
They’re going to have to burn that village in order to save it.
by SuperJew on Oct 18, 2008 3:12 PM EDT reply actions
@91 – Tennessee is creamsicle. Clemson’s is Otter Pops’ Little Orphan Orange, and if God hates them for that, then He must really loathe their Grimace getups on principle alone.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 3:13 PM EDT reply actions
If Vandy would just keep pounding the ball they could have a chance….If Georgia dont get it together and learn to put teams away, Florida WILL hang 50 on them……Georgia cant stop Vandy……sheesh….
Prediction: (Hope I am wrong)
And for the record, I think Ole Miss beats Bama on a last second field goal…last confession, just have that “gut feeling” for a letdown…..
mea culpa, lattimus dorsi,mea culpa, glutemus maximus,anteriorus cruciateus ligamentus
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 18, 2008 3:16 PM EDT reply actions
There’s an idea… pull Knowshon’s shoe off after every play
by Grimey on Oct 18, 2008 3:19 PM EDT reply actions
Did he say Patrick Ben-Wa with the tackle? I would hate to be in the pile with that guy…
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 18, 2008 3:20 PM EDT reply actions
Even though I am a UNC fan, I have to say that The Oldest Rivalry In The South isn’t all that its cracked up to be.
(God, I hope we end this god-awful streak. Charlottesville has been a House of Horrors.)
by SuperJew on Oct 18, 2008 3:32 PM EDT reply actions
I can’t hear you Uncle Verne!!!!!!!!!! I’m I the only deaf one here?
by Hicks on Oct 18, 2008 3:33 PM EDT reply actions
We had to turn to a non-HD channel to be able to hear the Bama game. Way to go, CBS. Epic fail.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 3:34 PM EDT reply actions
Now I understand GT’s motivation.
http://www.zazzle.com/saddest_bee_motivational_poster_print-228195965577601640
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 3:38 PM EDT reply actions
I’m actually doing my own commentary for the Bama-Miss game…kinda fun actually.
by Hicks on Oct 18, 2008 3:40 PM EDT reply actions
Before we move on: isn’t it fun that Clemson’s AD is right there on the sidelines?
by Orson Swindle on Oct 18, 2008 3:41 PM EDT reply actions
For those still watching non-HD CBS, the audio is working just fine for me, so it’s probably fixed
by Grimey on Oct 18, 2008 3:41 PM EDT reply actions
Gary Danielson just called Ole Miss D-lineman Greg Hardy a “wild card.” Hopefully he doesn’t cut the brake lines and jump out the back of the team’s charter bus after the game….
by Grimey on Oct 18, 2008 3:45 PM EDT reply actions
Late hit! Rat bastards. If Bama had done that it would have been a 35 yard penalty. Minimum. Gah.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 3:46 PM EDT reply actions
My CBS channel looks real dark, like some sort of eclipse is happenin’ or the stadium. Hopefully, it’s not cataracts. Then again, it could be my 9 year old Sony knock-off, aka, the “Sonny” special.
by Grady on Oct 18, 2008 3:50 PM EDT reply actions
Uncle Gary had a CBS production assistant scout where JPW’s momma was gonna be sitting this week, right?
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 3:51 PM EDT reply actions
I am falling off my chair laughing at Terrence Cody attempting to change direction on Ole Miss’s first play in the redzone.
by Orson Swindle on Oct 18, 2008 3:53 PM EDT reply actions
The ball was pinched between Ma Johnson and the Ole Miss guy. He did SO not have control of it.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 3:56 PM EDT reply actions
How great is it that Philadelphia has a bookstore devoted exclusively to mysteries?
What the hell happened to Wake?
MSU in the process of shitting the bed.
by Harris on Oct 18, 2008 3:57 PM EDT reply actions
Orson, you could hear Cody jiggle on the TV audio track when he tried to switch his angle.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 3:58 PM EDT reply actions
#119: That’s not your TV. That’s the Saban Effect.
by SuperJew on Oct 18, 2008 4:03 PM EDT reply actions
Ohio State called for a chop block. Didn’t know Lee Ziemba transferred to TOSU.
by Bones Crosby on Oct 18, 2008 4:05 PM EDT reply actions
Question:
After this celebration penalty and the after Spike’s punt in the endzone last weekend, the penalty was assessed on the kickoff. After Jake Locker’s celebration penalty, the XP was moved back to the 18 yd line.
Why the difference?
by Grady on Oct 18, 2008 4:11 PM EDT reply actions
Whoa whoa whoa. Maze for Bama just got popped 15 yards for CROSSING HIS FUCKING ARMS?!? It’s not like he was doing the Dirty Bird, for Chrissakes. Hell, Dabo was chest-bumping his players during the Climpsin game, why’s that ok and standing still is not?
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 4:12 PM EDT reply actions
Hartline goes up against two Spartan defenders, makes the catch, defenders knock each other off, 1st-and-goal at the 1.
by Harris on Oct 18, 2008 4:13 PM EDT reply actions
Please God let Marshall get a holding penalty here (in their endzone).
That would make it a 4-0 UAB lead.
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 4:13 PM EDT reply actions
What the hell is that smell?
Must be the fact that every single Michigan State fan in the entire state just sh!t their pants….
by Mich-Placed Gator on Oct 18, 2008 4:15 PM EDT reply actions
Wells up the middle, killing any reason to watch this game. OSU 21-0.
by Harris on Oct 18, 2008 4:16 PM EDT reply actions
Grady — other team gets to pick. In BYU’s case, the kickoff with 2 sec to go wouldn’t have done them any good, but a long PAT would.
by Josh on Oct 18, 2008 4:16 PM EDT reply actions
Grady – I don’t believe there was any time left on the game clock for Locker’s penalty, thus no kickoff after the play.
by Hicks on Oct 18, 2008 4:17 PM EDT reply actions
thanks, I was not aware the other team had the option to choose.
by Grady on Oct 18, 2008 4:21 PM EDT reply actions
WTF is Bama doing throwing on 3rd and 1? Jeez.
by TPS Reports on Oct 18, 2008 4:22 PM EDT reply actions
Am I the only one who is a little weirded-out that UNC actually doesn’t suck this year? It’s not been so long ago that playing them was like having DeVry on the schedule…
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 4:23 PM EDT reply actions
“Orson Swindle: Changing the Face of Sports Blogging Forever” next Thursday on Spike!
by Slappy Jackson on Oct 18, 2008 4:23 PM EDT reply actions
Michigan State football in one sentence:
Ohio State fumbled a punt inside their own 10, but the Spartans tried to scoop-and-score instead of falling on it and one Buckeye ended up with the ball among five Spartans.
by JD on Oct 18, 2008 4:23 PM EDT reply actions
#139: We invented the Carl Torbush hire that WVU perfected with Bill Stewart. That’s why we’ve been bad for so long.
by SuperJew on Oct 18, 2008 4:26 PM EDT reply actions
Gary Danielson, on Tim Brando’s description of USC scoring style points today: “Style points against Washington State don’t start until you’re in the 40’s.”
by Studley on Oct 18, 2008 4:36 PM EDT reply actions
Terrence Cody, used as a fullback. Of course.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 4:36 PM EDT reply actions
wow….Duke with the naked boot on the UM 1/2 yd line on 4th down….canes flummoxed….devils 6 points.
by Grady on Oct 18, 2008 4:38 PM EDT reply actions
What are we gonna call that package with Cody in the backfield? The Bulldozer? He just deforested that left side of the line…..The Slash and Burn?
Now if he can only line up at QB, we’d have something…..
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 18, 2008 4:39 PM EDT reply actions
Studley – I think USC hit the 40 point mark while Brando was showing the 3rd TD highlight.
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 4:40 PM EDT reply actions
The Cody formation would be called the WildFridge.
Hopefully they show the highlight of Beanie Wells doing the Bunny Hop into the endzone. Now THAT’S style points, Tim.
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 4:44 PM EDT reply actions
Crowd at Taco Mac stunned by the Himalayabone with Cody in the backfield. (Watching in Decatur. Stop by if you like.)
by Orson on Oct 18, 2008 4:46 PM EDT reply actions
USC broke the 40-mark while I was typing the previous sarcastic USC comment. This time I’m not joking.
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 4:46 PM EDT reply actions
WHOA!!! Michigan just APPEARED like they actually have an clue….
GO BLEW!!
by Mich-Placed Gator on Oct 18, 2008 4:48 PM EDT reply actions
You know the Cody formation would be the WildElephant. C’mon guys.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 4:48 PM EDT reply actions
Did Nutt just call a Smelly Crotch formation? I swear he did based on those hand signals…
by Hicks on Oct 18, 2008 4:49 PM EDT reply actions
Michigan 7, Penn St 0.
This could be Awesome. Is MGo really not doing a LiveBlog?
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 4:50 PM EDT reply actions
Penn St fumble, Blue ball.
WildElephant wins.
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 4:52 PM EDT reply actions
Did anybody just see Cody do a flying hop onto the pile after that play? The guy he landed on is now a girl.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 4:52 PM EDT reply actions
Paterno’s eternal weakness: Fire (that every zombie fears) and Wolverines.
by SuperJew on Oct 18, 2008 4:53 PM EDT reply actions
Who the fuck plays Michigan for homecoming? Seriously?
by Grimey on Oct 18, 2008 4:54 PM EDT reply actions
So if RichRod wins, is it called getting DickRod’d? or DickRolled?
I think Terrence Cody needs to be involved in EVERY scoring play, that way we all win.,
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 18, 2008 4:55 PM EDT reply actions
@160: I saw that too… Terrence Cody is officially the black version of E. Honda.
Which means after Alabama wins the national championship, Cody will just go eat sushi.
by Grimey on Oct 18, 2008 4:56 PM EDT reply actions
Duke’s punter just leveled Miami’s kick returner. They’re also beating the Hurricanes 17-7.
Black is white, up is down, and everything you know is false.
by SuperJew on Oct 18, 2008 4:59 PM EDT reply actions
@163 – voting for “DickRolled.”
C’mon, Nitty Kitties. No losing to DickRod.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 5:00 PM EDT reply actions
I would pay good money to see Terrence Cody doing the Hundred Hand Slap. Bitch fight!
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 5:02 PM EDT reply actions
Royster breaks 12 tackles and scores. JoePa still having a stroke.
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 5:03 PM EDT reply actions
If Houston Nutt consistently won games he’d be the Bill Clinton of college football.
by RickMuscles on Oct 18, 2008 5:05 PM EDT reply actions
I see what could be the problem for Michigan. When the QB is looking over for the playcall, DickRod is making butterfly hand-shadows.
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 5:08 PM EDT reply actions
Right now, Muschamp is drinking a mixture of monster energy drink, crunk juice, two red bulls, cocaine and the soul of an 11 y/o with attention deficit disorder.
by RickMuscles on Oct 18, 2008 5:10 PM EDT reply actions
Big 10 football….about as exciting as watching turtles fuck.
Go Blew….
by Mich-Placed Gator on Oct 18, 2008 5:18 PM EDT reply actions
Did anyone notice JDP looking over Dabo’s shoulder at Clemons v. GT? Talk about micro-managing… To paraphrase Uncle Junior, “He’s got his head so far up my a**, I can taste Brylcreme.”
by Ed-Hoo on Oct 18, 2008 5:20 PM EDT reply actions
I don’t think you can be a great Alabama coach until you talk to the lady side line reporter like she’s an autistic 12 year old.
by RickMuscles on Oct 18, 2008 5:21 PM EDT reply actions
Mountain down. Please get up, Cody. You’re good for the game.
by Holly on Oct 18, 2008 5:23 PM EDT reply actions
How did Alabama fall for that one? What does a FG do for Giggity when they’re down by 21.
by JD on Oct 18, 2008 5:30 PM EDT reply actions
With any luck, Cody can make it back on to the field in time for Auburn to chop block him
by Grimey on Oct 18, 2008 5:31 PM EDT reply actions
Seriously, I wish they wouldn’t show that footage so much. I work in the operating room, so I cringe every time I see it, just knowing what the inside of WildElephant’s knee could look like right now. Think ground meat.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 5:32 PM EDT reply actions
My bad, Orson… I didn’t read back as far as 115… First down ’Hoos! Getting in position for another FG!
by Ed-Hoo on Oct 18, 2008 5:34 PM EDT reply actions
If things go horribly awry for me in life and I wind up condemned to the lowest depths of hell for all eternity, I imagine I’ll simply be locked in a small dark space with nothing but a constant loop of “Kernkraft 400” and “Seven Nation Army” for company.
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 5:37 PM EDT reply actions
And JPW responds to his unintentional display of confidence by throwing a deep pass over the middle to nowhere. Good – I was getting worried.
by Graysnail on Oct 18, 2008 5:37 PM EDT reply actions
What I meant to say was doomed, futile, ineffective FG attempt…
by Ed-Hoo on Oct 18, 2008 5:39 PM EDT reply actions
@JD I bet the Mentalist would’ve predicted the fake field goal. he’d be Urban Meyer’s worst nightmare.
by RickMuscles on Oct 18, 2008 5:40 PM EDT reply actions
In other news, I am beyond tired of hearing Marquis pronounced as Mar-Kweez.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 5:43 PM EDT reply actions
The sexual tension in that John Parker Wilson birthday feature was off the charts.
by JD on Oct 18, 2008 5:44 PM EDT reply actions
JD, did Gary quip about JPW’s momma again?
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 5:48 PM EDT reply actions
S2N:
No, it was some hot sideline-reporter chick interviewing him. If he had said he wanted her to take him to Pleasure Town for his birthday, I’m pretty sure the answer would have been yes.
by JD on Oct 18, 2008 5:54 PM EDT reply actions
I just hope that every time a Bama player does something stupid and gets ANOTHER jackass penalty, he knows that Nick Saban has written his name down and at some point Saban will show up and eat one of the offending player’s kids. Whole.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 5:55 PM EDT reply actions
Hightower is not 18 – 19. I demand to see his birth certificate.
by RickMuscles on Oct 18, 2008 5:57 PM EDT reply actions
@194 Hightower had a lucrative beginning in the gymnastics program at China. I’m sure they’ve got one on file somewhere…
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 6:04 PM EDT reply actions
What the hell, was USC taking a nap during the 3rd quarter? That is NOT the way to make sure you win by a Hundy.
(it also angers couch potato gamblers)
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 6:07 PM EDT reply actions
How is McCluster still playing! If you fumble you can’t play. What is Nutt thinking.
by RickMuscles on Oct 18, 2008 6:08 PM EDT reply actions
You’ve got to be kidding me. How do you get chickenhawked by the QUARTERBACK? Gah.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 6:10 PM EDT reply actions
62-0 USC. Man, I thought there was no way they would cover.
by John on Oct 18, 2008 6:11 PM EDT reply actions
@ 196: You can’t just roll into Pullman and expect to roll up 100. (You can expect 60, but 100? That’s crazy talk.)
by Graysnail on Oct 18, 2008 6:11 PM EDT reply actions
Wazzou has now given up 60 points in their first 5 PAC-10 games. Paul Wolffe can’t blame that on not having a QB.
by Woekie on Oct 18, 2008 6:12 PM EDT reply actions
ABC east coast affiliates, PLEASE switch to Oklahoma-Kansas.
by John on Oct 18, 2008 6:12 PM EDT reply actions
And we’re up to a 4.5 on the Gigg-o-Meter now.
by Graysnail on Oct 18, 2008 6:14 PM EDT reply actions
We need to get Cody’s knee in a Debbie Meyer’s Green Bag.
by RickMuscles on Oct 18, 2008 6:16 PM EDT reply actions
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HMyqVp2yjQ
GIGGITY TO THE MAXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
by chaimy4life on Oct 18, 2008 6:22 PM EDT reply actions
Jeez, sometimes I can’t tell if Lil Nicky is doing the happy dance or having a shit fit.
by RJF's groin muscle on Oct 18, 2008 6:24 PM EDT reply actions
Giggittygigitygiggitygiggitygiggitygiggitygiggity!
Giggity?
Giggity.
by RJF's groin muscle on Oct 18, 2008 6:28 PM EDT reply actions
Sixtynine – Love.
There’s some joke about USC scoring a 69, but this damn hangover is still blocking creative thoughts.
by BadgerMan on Oct 18, 2008 6:29 PM EDT reply actions
Greg Hardy’s profile photo looks like it came from a Prince video
by Grimey on Oct 18, 2008 6:32 PM EDT reply actions
209,
Something about Pete Carroll and a Song Girl. I can’t quite remember it myself.
by John on Oct 18, 2008 6:33 PM EDT reply actions
“Alabama’s possessions in the second half.. interception, punt, interception, punt, punt, punt, … and no thats not a rap song”
I love Uncle Verne
by beckett on Oct 18, 2008 6:34 PM EDT reply actions
The UNC-UVA pillow fight is going to OT, not that anyone in SEC Land gives a damn right now.
by John on Oct 18, 2008 6:35 PM EDT reply actions
@212
Not to be confused with the N.W.A. classic “Punt, Punt, Interception, Fumble, Blocked Punt, Safety Beeyotch”
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 6:37 PM EDT reply actions
I don’t know if I want to live in a world where Duke beats Miami by two scores.
by Wooderson on Oct 18, 2008 6:37 PM EDT reply actions
Duke beat Tha U! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
And it’s a final. USC did 69 on the Wazzou.
by JD on Oct 18, 2008 6:41 PM EDT reply actions
Let the record show that Jevan Snead just made the “drinky-drinky” gesture…
by HOSS on Oct 18, 2008 6:41 PM EDT reply actions
Wait, why the hell is GameCast telling me Duke is down 24-42?
by Holly on Oct 18, 2008 6:42 PM EDT reply actions
Bama still has a chance to make McCluster and/or Snead shit in a bag, if only they’d quit playing like pansies. Deeply disappointed.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 6:43 PM EDT reply actions
I would love a recap of all the signals Houston Nutt has made from the sidelines. The ‘sniff my crotch’ signal, the ‘tweak his nipples’ signal, all of ’em. Glorious.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 6:45 PM EDT reply actions
Because Duke IS down 24-42.
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 18, 2008 6:46 PM EDT reply actions
“We-just-beat-the-hell-outta-you!”
Sure, if football games stop at halftime.
by John on Oct 18, 2008 6:46 PM EDT reply actions
John Parker, Run! He’s going to slap you. Run Quick!
by RickMuscles on Oct 18, 2008 6:46 PM EDT reply actions
I hate John Parker Wilson and his “Carl, the Make-Out King” haircut.
by HOSS on Oct 18, 2008 6:48 PM EDT reply actions
I was really hoping UNC would pull this out and beat Virginia. Oh well. Also, I am a little freaked out by the entire section of all white at the Michigan/Penn State game.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 6:49 PM EDT reply actions
Seriously though, how does JPW’s bangs maintain that sweep across the forehead after 60 minutes of football?
by Grimey on Oct 18, 2008 6:50 PM EDT reply actions
goddamnit! the unc/uva game is over and now i have a fucking studio highlight show and NOT OU/Kansas…. ABC hates the southeast…
by beckett on Oct 18, 2008 6:51 PM EDT reply actions
Well beckett, you can always watch the DickRod on ESPN, where none of the Nittie Kitties knew that if a punt gets blocked, you can catch it and run it back. Fundamental football, folks.
by SabanNation on Oct 18, 2008 6:55 PM EDT reply actions
The Groh-mentum will manage to remain employed.
And Michigan is reverting to LOLverines status.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 6:55 PM EDT reply actions
Fuck NC. I have a NC grad co-worker who suddenly became a football fan last week when they were playing ND. I’m sure he’ll be bale to tell me the first 5 teams on their basketball schedule when I ask him on monday morning, and I’m sure he won’t have a clue who they’re playing next saturday in football,.
by Wooderson on Oct 18, 2008 6:56 PM EDT reply actions
A full shot of Mangino on the sideline, and he looks like he’s now taking up enough space to become his own galaxy.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 18, 2008 7:00 PM EDT reply actions
Well, its time for Washington to get in the win column
by BocaHuskyUWowl on Oct 18, 2008 7:08 PM EDT reply actions
rob stone/paterno-ville tent skit = gayest thing ever
by beckett on Oct 18, 2008 7:12 PM EDT reply actions
The Ohio State University will have your attention next week. I hope for longer than they kept it against SC.
by Crabapple Buck on Oct 18, 2008 7:26 PM EDT reply actions
What HS did Mich punter Zoltan Mesko play for? Crab Nebula Consolidated?
by RJF's groin muscle on Oct 18, 2008 7:35 PM EDT reply actions
Apologies if this has been said already but damn, the Nittany Lions are fast.
by Digital Headbutt on Oct 18, 2008 7:38 PM EDT reply actions
Stay classy Men of Troi.
Starting RB puts it in, with 4:30 left, leading 62-0. You fucking douches would (and did) get jobbed by anyone with A) a D line and B) the manhood to punch you back.
That is fucking revolting.
by der schatten on Oct 18, 2008 7:42 PM EDT reply actions
der shitten: The 69 – 0 score is not indicative of the game. It was much easier and USC could have scored 80 or 90 points. Washington State did not get into USC’s half of the field, all game long.
USC’s second and third string running backs were tired of rushing and the first stringer had to come back in. All three ran for over 100 yards.
USC just made one pass in the second half. All other plays after the first half were run out the clock runs.
Anyone that uses the phrase “stay classy” is obviously not, you scumbag schlemiel schmuck.
Now go away cotton-picker and take your shine box with you.
by Harvey Wireman on Oct 18, 2008 9:09 PM EDT reply actions
Looks like Garcia is making the cock sitffen against LSU….
by Brad on Oct 18, 2008 9:26 PM EDT reply actions
Sorry, Harvey, that I didn’t get to read your “shine box” and “cotton picker” post before now…I was busy horning my cousin, whittlin’ with pa, and shellin’ peas on the porch.
I’m intrigued though…what is this cotton picker of which you speak? And this “shine box”? tsk tsk tsk. Really, doesn’t that just speak to the poverty (and pathological, unspoken -isms) of “enlightened” minds, such as yourself?
by der schatten on Oct 19, 2008 8:25 AM EDT reply actions
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