Have you considered this pamphlet OH GOD OW OW OW OW STOP. BYU, Trey Parker; TCU, old lady at door.

If you would like the story of the game in an easy image, imagine every single player on TCU’s defense kicking every player on BYU’s offense in the balls for four quarters, over, and over, and over again, winding up with each one in a Rochambeau so decisive you couldn’t imagine being any worse than the prior, and then pulling back for another grape-smashing swing at holy-underwear-covered jumblies.

TCU sophomore DE Jerry Hughes had four sacks, including one in the first half where instead of tackling BYU qb Max Hall, he simply punched him down like a goalie fisting out a threatening shot. The loss had BYU so flummoxed they resorted to extreme profanity.

“We played like crap tonight. That’s the bottom line,” BYU defensive end Jan Jorgensen said.

The Utah bolus in our poll is half unknotted; for undoing this, we thank TCU, who make our rankings slightly less absurd now.

O-H! He-OWES! Joe the plumber, ower of back taxes and cheaply constructed national avatar, wore this sweatshirt to interviews:

Personal foul, touching the quarterback. Florida State’s offensive line continues to be the strength of their team, but Antone Smith is getting battery-prone in the run game, popping defenders with audible transferred energy. The Noles won 26-17 over an improving but still vanilla-thrilling NC State team. BTW, if the ruling on the field is any indication, it’s now illegal to hit the quarterback on an option, as NC State pulled a weirdass penalty for smacking Christian Ponder on a “helmet-to-helmet” that appeared clean to us.

Penalties don’t matter. Don’t tell the AJC that, though, who somehow ignores the massive losses at left tackle and defensive lapses made by the Georgia Bulldogs in favor of harping on penalties.

There’s just this huge pile of cash out here on the porch. Just sayin’. The spread for the Ole Miss/Alabama game sits at a whopping 13 points. Anyone familiar with the dangerous, erratic powers of the Houston Nutt Phenomenon knows this is free money, because if you are shy of actually calling the upset, then at least you can agree that Houston Nutt teams excel at scaring the shit out of superior teams in games, and then blowing it against lesser opponents. That’s free giggity right thurr–take it.