Eric Moncur will not have the opportunity to “introduce himself” to Thaddeus Lewis. His surgically repaired sports hernia is still bothering him, meaning he won’t get to sack the ‘Cane-compatible Thaddeus Lewis on Saturday versus Duke. This is all just a roundabout way of justifying a video of Sean Glennon being elbowed in the head by Moncur, a move which is reprehensible, illegal, should have been called a penalty, and is still kind of awesome in its own thuggish right.

HT: The ever-tasteful Lt. Winslow.

Would you like to rephrase the question? And how do you think your ex-wife’s sex life is? Tommy Tuberville actually got this brilliant question posed to him by a reporter for the Palm Beach Post in his conference call:

Reporter from Palm Beach Post: “Hey coach, how are you today? Just wondering, what is your impression of the job Nick Saban has done at Alabama and what’s it been like for you guys being kind of passed by Alabama as the top team in the state?”

(pause for crickets, tumbleweeds, etc.)

Tuberville: “Next question.”

Ask him about something less sensitive, like how his recent hernia surgery’s healing, or how excited he is to be looking at a freshman quarterback as a potential starter. Those are both more pleasant topics, we’re sure.

Texas A&M: Literal Bat Country. Texas A&M AD Bill Byrne is your dream AD in one respect: every week he goes online and writes a thorough, candid, and astonishingly detailed summary of how things are going in the universe of Aggie athletics. It’s tremendous work on the communications front, and addresses even the smallest details of fan concerns. Take the issue of bat shit: he’s on it, mostly because the official flying mammal of the state of Texas–the Mexican free-tailed bat–roosts at Kyle Field. (Texas has an official flying mammal. You’re welcome.)

These bats help us by eating a lot of bugs around the stadium, but unfortunately, what goes in also comes out. We have crews which spend hours each week power washing Kyle Field and the Zone Plaza specifically for bat residue.

Byrne also addresses the issue of ass-size-to-available-seat ratio, and includes this deathless sentence:

For those who have thought about bringing the seat from your bass boat, the answer is no, unless it’s less than 16-inches wide.

Smart Football does the splits. Another superb article from Smart Football, this time on offensive line splits and the impact they have on your health, wealth, and life in general.

Our favorite sportswriter next to “Hardcastle Womantamer?” This guy.