CURIOUS INDEX, 10/15/2008

by Orson on Oct 15, 2008 8:48 AM EDT

Perhaps he's just doing a traditional dance. Backup Illini quarterback Eddie McGee was arrested over the weekend for allegedly knocking a woman to the floor during a dance, capping off Illinois' raucously successful Homecoming Weekend in which the football team lost to the formerly ghastly Minnesota Golden Gophers.

In all fairness to McGee: he could have just been performing a traditional Bezistani dance, making the whole thing a side-splitting instance of cultural misunderstanding!

Your latest completely specious rumor of little verified truthiness: Gruden, Tennesee, up to Saban-level money. you didn't not hear it here not all yes no. This makes perfect sense because Tennessee has done so well with the West Coast Offense this year under Dave Clawson that it would be really cool to watch this happen again, but with a coach who costs almost twice as much as the current coach. As a Florida fan, this simply must happen.

Mike Gundy, Married Guy. Mike Gundy knows his married guy-fu to the letter. Impressive skills, those.

There's lots of different kinds of pie. Sweet potato pie, T1 Fracture pie... Walk on Michigan football player Mike Milano made a perfect form tackle on Michigan hockey defendermanplayer Steve Kampfer, taking Kampfer out for the rest of the season and piquing the interest of Michigan football coaches who see what he is doing there, and like it. Milano performed some variation of a bodyslam on Kampfer in a fight, resulting in serious damage to the hockey player, and who will not be back for the third period just because he is a hockey player:

He said Kampfer ended up with a cracked skull and T1 vertebra and is in a head and neck brace.

The bodyslam may seem excessive, but lacking teeth or concern for his person, the only logical solution in dealing with a hockey player in a fight is to completely incapacitate them or divert them with flares and other bright lights.

Peanut butter will work, too. Washington State, who lost 66-13 to Oregon State, has its fans seeking desperate measures to cope with a season in the depths.

5:49 p.m. Take shot of Monarch. I cant seem to find a chaser. 5:50 p.m. Discover canned whipped cream makes a decent chaser.

This is how civilization advances: one tiny step of discovery at a time. It also goes faster if you find a lot of gold and trade with other civilizations, and then you hop right quick to the nukes and start kicking some serious ass at that point.

Tweet Comment 15 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Thanks for getting the Index up early. Your S.E. Asian readers appreciate getting to view it before bedtime.

by Middle America on Oct 15, 2008 9:35 AM EDT reply actions

At least Washington State isn’t in last place in the Pac-10

by Football Fanatics on Oct 15, 2008 9:48 AM EDT reply actions

“Gruden, Tennesee, up to Saban-level money… As a Florida fan, this simply must happen.”

As a Bucs fan, it certainly must not. It won’t, anyway — Gruden’s finally got a working offense, and while there’s pressure on him to win in January, the 4-2 start seems to have dismissed “hot seat” talk in Tampa.

Also, Gruden has modified the West Coast — there’s plenty of nasty running with Graham and Dunn, and the passing gave was rather vertical last week in our drubbing of Carolina.

Gruden adapts his offense to what the defense gives him, and would be a dangerous coach that could restore the team in Knoxville to the upper flight of the SEC. That is, if he’s able to master the art of recruiting, which is probable, given his youth and intensity.

by Seven Years in Gainesville on Oct 15, 2008 9:59 AM EDT reply actions

I think Michigan should receive Fulmer Cup points since their season is effectively over. Leave it to them to try and skirt the rules by starting their off-season mischief early. I stand by my prediction that UM will be a strong player in Fulmer Cup with DickRod at the helm.

Best wishes for the injured, not so much for the perp.

by Crabapple Buck on Oct 15, 2008 10:01 AM EDT reply actions

WTF is Monarch? And where can I get a half gallon? And some Redi-Whip?

by GT on Oct 15, 2008 10:16 AM EDT reply actions

Jared Diamond approves of whip cream chasers.

by Der Schatten on Oct 15, 2008 10:17 AM EDT reply actions

I’M 41!!!!! I’M A THOUORGHLY POST-MODERN, HENPECKED, SENSITIVE MAN!!!

by yoyofutbawl on Oct 15, 2008 10:17 AM EDT reply actions

You know, Gundy earns points if he’s handing the phone to Jenni Carlson there, the columnist who inspired the original rant in the first place. We can’t tell if that’s her or not.

by Orson Swindle on Oct 15, 2008 10:24 AM EDT reply actions

re: homecoming… that would surely be one more sack than they registered against the Gophers.

by Flatlander on Oct 15, 2008 10:58 AM EDT reply actions

Mike Milano: Walk-on football player hell-bent on destroying Michigan’s only revenue sport left worth watching one player at a time.

by Geoff on Oct 15, 2008 11:01 AM EDT reply actions

I’m not sure what to think of the Gruden thing. Someone told me he loves Knoxville and his wife was a UT cheerleader or something, but i have no evidence to substantiate that. I don’t know if he would be a good fit anyway, but the “youth and intensity” thing is attractive. Another totally wild and unsubstantiated rumor I have heard is Bill Cowher, which of course would completely fucking awesome. I’d love to see Cowher’s reaction to Saban’s napoleonic rants and delusions of grandeur.

by Vol on Oct 15, 2008 12:13 PM EDT reply actions

RE: Bill Cowher’s reaction to Saban…would be like every other coach’s reaction: reverence, awe, and bitch attitude that only Saban’s magnanimity can invoke..

/not joking too much.

by Der Schatten on Oct 15, 2008 12:25 PM EDT reply actions

Vol @ 11:
Gruden started his coaching career as a grad assistant at Tennessee. Not sure if his wife’s from there, though it wouldn’t surprise me.

by Seven Years in Gainesville on Oct 15, 2008 12:29 PM EDT reply actions

Quality Michigan Man right there

by Rob on Oct 15, 2008 3:11 PM EDT reply actions

Chucky’s sideline screams drowning out Rocky Top in Knoxville????

Bill the Chin spraying spit from sideline all the way to Memphis???

Wow, two scenarios just too weird to imagine.

Oh, by the way, the city of Pittsburg Sanitation Department just verified that Cowher takes dumps bigger than Saban. Pretty sure there’s no one in the SEC that would intimidate Bill unless he was facing Fulmer in a donut eating contest.

by General Disarray on Oct 15, 2008 4:01 PM EDT reply actions