The pep talk returns next week; that’s worth a viewing of the latest Dr. Lou alone. (HT: Brian.)

It’s doubly worth it for Lou’s unparalleled trash talking, which he’s more than happy to say right to your face:

“All of those orange fans up there. I would say to our players, they wear orange so they can cheer for their team. They’ll wear the same orange outfit tomorrow to go hunting. And they’ll wear the same orange outfit the last five days of the week in order to pick up trash.”

Lou Holtz’s longevity as a coach can only be explained by the well-calibrated periodicity of his sanity rating. Listen to him for two minutes, and you’re convinced he’s a raving madman; go five minutes, and you’re reconvinced of his essential sanity, but then wait another ten and you’re back wondering whether someone just dropped tabs of mescaline in his coffee. That’s precisely how he survived, by being just mad enough to convince people that he was too scary to fire, but just insane enough to outcrazy the opposition.

Mark May shouldn’t fear him at his most animated, but should fear him when he’s at his calmest, since like an angry dog he’s only going to bite you when the tail stops wagging and he gets very, very serious. And by that we mean he will bite Mark May on camera soon, and when it happens you will applaud like spring-loaded monkeys.