LOU HOLTH, GENIUTH AMONG UTH
The pep talk returns next week; that's worth a viewing of the latest Dr. Lou alone. (HT: Brian.)
It's doubly worth it for Lou's unparalleled trash talking, which he's more than happy to say right to your face:
"All of those orange fans up there. I would say to our players, they wear orange so they can cheer for their team. They'll wear the same orange outfit tomorrow to go hunting. And they'll wear the same orange outfit the last five days of the week in order to pick up trash."
Lou Holtz's longevity as a coach can only be explained by the well-calibrated periodicity of his sanity rating. Listen to him for two minutes, and you're convinced he's a raving madman; go five minutes, and you're reconvinced of his essential sanity, but then wait another ten and you're back wondering whether someone just dropped tabs of mescaline in his coffee. That's precisely how he survived, by being just mad enough to convince people that he was too scary to fire, but just insane enough to outcrazy the opposition.
Mark May shouldn't fear him at his most animated, but should fear him when he's at his calmest, since like an angry dog he's only going to bite you when the tail stops wagging and he gets very, very serious. And by that we mean he will bite Mark May on camera soon, and when it happens you will applaud like spring-loaded monkeys.
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Couldn’t Dr. Lou’s comments correlate with “that other UT”?
by Chloe Denmark on Oct 10, 2008 12:42 PM EDT reply actions
I would pay money to see Lou Holtz attack Mark May like a dog, and then say something like “my parents were raised in a different time, I don’t know what happened, I’m so sorry”
by WarCardinals on Oct 10, 2008 12:45 PM EDT reply actions
What was his line last night to Mark May?
“Pretend you’re reaching your hand into a bucket full of water. Now make a fist. Pull it out and the amount of water left in your hand is how much you’ll be missed…”
OHHHHHH FACE!
by Ryno on Oct 10, 2008 1:15 PM EDT reply actions
I love the theme song almost as much as the segments themselves. It pleases me a great deal when people associated with college sports embrace the goofy. I’m starting to think that if they booted Mark May and just kept Rece Davis and Dr. Lou, and added a journalist (Ivan Maisel?) they’d have a better show on Thursday nights than they have on Saturday mornings.
by now_a_hoo on Oct 10, 2008 1:18 PM EDT reply actions
I just close my eyes and think of Dr. Lou ripping Mark May’s ears off only to quickly pull it together to speak of his need for “something new to hope for”.
mark may=black trev alberts
by COB on Oct 10, 2008 1:20 PM EDT reply actions
Mark May is a douche bag of collasal proportions. He makes college football predictions and opposite happens, 9 time out of 10.
Surely ESPN can find a token black talking head with more football sense (not to mention personality) than that idiot.
by Noel Devine's Gold Teef on Oct 10, 2008 1:35 PM EDT reply actions
“If those players on the opposing teams [TCU and Utah] got in a race with a pregnant mother, the best they’d finish would be third.”
Oh, Doctor.
by Signal to Noise on Oct 10, 2008 2:01 PM EDT reply actions
That Texas bit was hilarious. Then he said the hook ‘em sign was really Texas’ way of saying “we’re #2!” Old man’s got some balls, that’s for damn sure, and he better take care of them before an incensed Texas fan tracks him down and tries to rip them off.
by Rob on Oct 10, 2008 3:11 PM EDT reply actions
ummm, he coached arkansas, whats he talking about with this country bumpkin orange color shit?
by Brian on Oct 10, 2008 4:07 PM EDT reply actions
Well Texas is cursed and so is BYU…..thanks to Dr. Lou, his callers—Urban Meyer and Matt Stafford—-went down in flames on the same weekend thanks to Dr. Lou…..
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 10, 2008 5:08 PM EDT reply actions
What I would pay to see Lou bitch slap Mark May, tackle him to the floor, put his foot on his throat, and without a hint of a lisp say…If you got in a fight with a pregnant woman the best you would finish is third!
by JIMPSU on Oct 10, 2008 11:41 PM EDT reply actions

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