CURIOUS INDEX, 10/9/08

by Orson on Oct 9, 2008 9:12 AM EDT

It's white cardboard box time. Tony Franklin is honest in defeat:

AUBURN - An Auburn employee wanted to know why Tony Franklin was loading his car with boxes in front of the school's athletic complex Wednesday afternoon.

"They told me to get lost," Franklin said.

Franklin, fired yesterday as the offensive coordinator for the Auburn Tigers, had to haul all of his crap out of his office in front of cameras and the assembled idle members of the Opelika rabble, but was still way, way more pleasant than we'd be about it, even wishing the reporters a "Have a nice day, y'all" on the way out of the parking lot for the last time.

Auburn has no clearcut leads on a replacement thus far, but Bobby Petrino has heard of your vacancy and is interested. Additionally, he promises to not try to poison you in your sleep and take your job like last time HA HA HA HA ha. Ha. Just kidding. He's totally interested.

Kansas State: No refunds. Aggie Report puts together a free promotional video for Kansas State, and that's just oh-so-nice of them. Famous players include Terence Newman, Darren Sproles, and Biscuit!

The Darren Sproles hiding behind the pylon bit made that whole thing worthwhile, as does the fact that when compared with one of the actual videos made by K-State to promote the campus, the video seems like a bit of a push in the damage department. (Unlike Ron Prince, who's got this whole "negative momentum" thing going just fine, thank you.)

And maybe you're mad he's just prettier than you ever were! Shane Matthews has been complaining about the Gator passing game on his show, and Robbie Andreu gets so perturbed he begins jumping up and down so much his shirt comes up to reveal the puffy paint Tebow shirt no one was ever, ever supposed to see:

As for the Tebow statement, I just don't get it. I know, his mechanics can be unorthodox at times, but the threw for 3,286 yards and 32 touchdowns last season. AND HE WON THE HEISMAN!

Is there some jealousy at play here, Shane?

Because he's pleased me like you never, ever could, Shane! I faked them all!

The universe realigns. Punter Britton Colquitt will return to duty following a five game suspension for Tennessee against Georgia this Saturday. Laugh if you will, but all of this talk about the offense may have been superfluous: the real problem with the Vols is the lack of Colquitt on the roster, the family that has produced every single Tennessee punter for the past 149 years.

Hold onto your ass, Osama. J Leman is going to be a color man for the Big Ten Network, which just became instantly toxic to the viewing eyes of terrorists. Broadcast this across the barren ranges of the Pakistani/Afghani border, and we will win the war on terror in five minutes.

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Comments

I don’t think I can come up with a better encapsulation of the inexplicable futility of the Florida offense early in games than this:

“crucial fourth-quarter drive against Arkansas”

by Biggus Rickus on Oct 9, 2008 9:25 AM EDT reply actions

I actually like Shane’s radio show… aside from that Bama guy that eats on the air all of the time.

by Erdinger on Oct 9, 2008 9:33 AM EDT reply actions

The scene from Auburn’s athletic department yesterday http://www.theauburner.com/images/franklinmydear.jpg

by Hijones on Oct 9, 2008 9:37 AM EDT reply actions

“They told me to get lost, Franklin said.”

Sounds like every time I leave a strip club.

by GamecockTony on Oct 9, 2008 9:45 AM EDT reply actions

“David Cutcliffe ain’t walking through that door.”

But then again, neither is David Pollack.

by Gen. Stoopnagle on Oct 9, 2008 9:56 AM EDT reply actions

FUCK marteen gramatica!!

/saints fan

by gerry dorsey on Oct 9, 2008 10:03 AM EDT reply actions

Darren freaking Sproles…. I must give credit…

2003 Big XII Championship: 235 yds rushing, 88 yds receiving, 1 RecTD, 23 return yds, 1 scalp of “unbeatable” No. 1 team.

by CincySooner on Oct 9, 2008 10:17 AM EDT reply actions

So let me get this right… the Auburn OC’s school car is a Hyundai?

by Spread Eagle Fan on Oct 9, 2008 10:24 AM EDT reply actions

This may be the one and only time I will ever say this, but: kudos, Ags.

And kudos to Pylon Sproles.

by Texy on Oct 9, 2008 10:35 AM EDT reply actions

In the immortal words of the shared pride of Florida and Nebraska, one Dan Whitney: I dun cahr whoyar, dat’s [KSU video’s] funnee right thar.

by Albino Tornado on Oct 9, 2008 10:56 AM EDT reply actions

Totally off-subject but can’t we have a senior Fulmer Cup for former college football players? Who among you doesn’t think Pacman deserves some sort of award? Immediately followed by being pummeled about the head repeatedly….

by hobeg8r on Oct 9, 2008 11:40 AM EDT reply actions

J Leman HAS, and I repeat, HAS to wear the American Flag Tie to restore balence to football, the economic crisis facing the US and show those terrorists who we can unleash at any giving moment. I can see him hopping on a cargo plane back to Afganistan right after the game to restore freedom!!!!!!!!!

by The Holy Grail on Oct 9, 2008 11:43 AM EDT reply actions

Less than a year ago he sold his consulting business which made over 150k a year. He took the AU job after having been a college coordinator for 4 years and he drives a…….new hyundai? only a football coach. Probly still pissed he cant wear elastic shorts.

#6, Fuck the refs and fuck sean payton for playing for the field goal with a hurt kicker.

by Kecalf Bailey on Oct 9, 2008 11:58 AM EDT reply actions

Damnit, Biggus Rickus beat me to it, so I’ll try a different tack:

I’m guessing this will be the only time the phrase “that crucial fourth-quarter drive against Arkansas” will be used all year, so savor it, Hogs.

by Tommy on Oct 9, 2008 1:08 PM EDT reply actions

Petrino actually has a clause in his contract which prevents him from jumping to another SEC West school.

by TUhog on Oct 9, 2008 2:08 PM EDT reply actions

At first I thought making Franklin pack his shit up in front of God and everybody was pretty horrible, but then I found out he could have used the private coaches’ entrance and parking lot. He just wanted to make himself look sympathetic and Auburn look like shit (like we needed any help in this case).

by karlhungus on Oct 9, 2008 3:15 PM EDT reply actions