ALL YOU NEED IS GRUB

by Orson on Oct 9, 2008 10:36 AM EDT

The constant use of fat jokes is really a pitiful crutch in the humor department. Half of all Americans are overweight, and thus make a facile target for the would-be junior varsity satirists of our nation. Really, how funny is it to point out something that shortens lives, lowers the quality of living for millions, and poses a grave threat to the integrity of our national health care systems, both private and public?

Really: how fair is it to mock a coach simply because their metabolism runs at a rate which, in another date and time, was actually an evolutionary advantage? Is it fair to make cheap comedic hash out of people who have become Darwin's unwitting laughing stocks due to the caprices of fate and commercial farming practices? Is it fair, nay---is it even humane to do so?

LSUFreek has considered the question deeply, and has his thoughtful response and apology for years of fat jokes on this site. It is moving. It is challenging. It is necessary, and it is about time.

Normally scheduled fat-jokes will now resume with regularity and ferocity. Apologies. If you can get the vision of Phil Fulmer pulling beef tongue out of a cow's head out of your brain, you have a more disciplined air traffic controller in your cerebral cortex than we've ever had.

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It’s Tas-ty Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

by beast in 'bama on Oct 9, 2008 10:44 AM EDT reply actions

I have no words…

by dudis41 on Oct 9, 2008 10:46 AM EDT reply actions

I will say this, fat people (and smokers) tend to be way, way more interesting that those who obsess over their health. Sure, you’ll live to 100, but when half of it is on a treadmill, what kind of personality are you going to have?

So I salute ye Mangino, Weis, the Maryland coach guy, and the Kool Aid man.

by meatybob on Oct 9, 2008 10:53 AM EDT reply actions

Not sure what makes me happier…the usage of a Beatles song, or the beef tongue?

Whatever…genius as usual, Freek. Glad you’re on my side!

by Great Caesar's Ghost on Oct 9, 2008 10:53 AM EDT reply actions

Those guys are bigger than Jesus.

by Biggus Rickus on Oct 9, 2008 10:58 AM EDT reply actions

Okay, I guess it’s time for lunch now. Anybody else have a hankering for brisket?

by AllWhoYonder on Oct 9, 2008 11:16 AM EDT reply actions

LSUFreek is a genius, and not just for being an LSU fan.

by austiger on Oct 9, 2008 11:20 AM EDT reply actions

@MeatyBob – Amen. But, don’t forget those of us who are skinny, yet still drink and smoke. We are charming, too.

/lights up Marlboro

by GamecockTony on Oct 9, 2008 11:34 AM EDT reply actions

Freek, as well-executed and entertaining as that was, I must admit I was hoping to see the Weis/ Pie-Matrix clip. That’s still my favorite and cracks me up every time.

Again – well done!!

by NativeSon on Oct 9, 2008 11:42 AM EDT reply actions

LSUFreek is a genius and should be in the CFB Hall of Fame for his ‘body’ of work. Also props for including the portly Tom Amstutz of Toledo. He is the forgotten one. When Kansas played Toledo last year I kept wondering if all of the “all you can eat” troughs/joints were closed that week.

by Crabapple Buck on Oct 9, 2008 11:58 AM EDT reply actions

This is goddamn magical…

by Yossarian on Oct 9, 2008 12:02 PM EDT reply actions

Heh, when Ralph left Atlanta, The Varsity had to lay off 5 employees.

by Techie on Oct 9, 2008 12:43 PM EDT reply actions

Actually, it’s the normals who threaten healthcare. Fat people who pay their premiums and die suddenly at 45 cost a hell of a lot less than some wheatgerm-gobbling yuppie who will wring decades of subsidized drugs and gerontological care out of the system.

by Dave on Oct 9, 2008 12:53 PM EDT reply actions