HANG ON, POOPY
by Orson on Oct 8, 2008 11:04 AM EDT
33 comments
Ohio State seems to be doing what good teams do after getting their heads kicked in early: regrouping, finding their rhythm, retooling with the extremely un-gay Buckeye Pistol formation. (Fullback! GRRR!!!), and otherwise recovering nicely for a stretch run.
Gosh almighty, that's pungent. Does someone need to dot an 'i' in here?
It's your standard, level-headed Tressel performance, though there's just some shit a football coach can't predict or take care of, like say, the shits. OL Steve Rehring, who was supposed to rotate in and see spot duty after missing two games to injury, had a problem with false starts no amount of coaching or scheming could prevent.
"He missed an 11-play drive," Tressel said. "He had to go to the restroom, and so he probably would have played closer to half of the time, but he missed an 11 and then he missed like a 10 (play drive)."
That's quite a restroom break.
"Well, there were multiple."
Hopefully, Rehring didn't blow a Power O-ring, and will be prepared to assume his proper duties blocking for Mark May's least favorite player in the universe, Terrelle Pryor. It's always nice to know that Tressel likes a good shit joke, that Skyline Chili is still fulfilling its role as human Dran-o, and that the Buckeyes are keeping the uncontrollable pants-crapping to the sidelines, and not letting it spread to the field.
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The last time they had the shits was January 8. At least this time it was off the field.
Terrelle Pryor will be inducing the trots on opposing defenses for the next 21/2 to 3 1/2 years.
by Crabapple Buck on Oct 8, 2008 11:10 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Couldn’t he have just pulled up the nearest Coleman and dropped the kids off right there?
by Schnitzengruben on Oct 8, 2008 11:15 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Does OSU have an exchange program with Georgetown?
by DevilGrad on Oct 8, 2008 11:17 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
“…human Drain-O…”
I laughed to the point of tears.
by CincySooner on Oct 8, 2008 11:18 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
On my first trip to Ohio, some friends insisted that I try Skyline Chili. Chili is a delicacy in Texas, so they were under the delusion that I would find that stuff palatable.
by blon on Oct 8, 2008 11:25 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Re #4: All great comedy is born from painful truth.
by DevilGrad on Oct 8, 2008 11:25 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Wasn’t there an ice chest available on the sideline?
by yoyofutbawl on Oct 8, 2008 11:32 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The real question is why isn’t he playing for Penn State (the home of leaving football games to take a slam)?
by WarCardinals on Oct 8, 2008 11:37 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Coach stew had the same problem during the Colorado game, but he put a clamp on it:
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/billstewartomgeyes_thumb.jpg
by Noel Devine's Gold Teef on Oct 8, 2008 11:37 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
no. 5
skyline is a Cincy thing…and it’s downright disgusting.
on a trip to cincy when i was playing HS football, on the way home the entire team was given skyline before a 4 hour bus ride home.
thank god nobody lit a match.
by spencer096 on Oct 8, 2008 11:38 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Tressel needs to give Mark Schlereth a call.
by beast in 'bama on Oct 8, 2008 11:43 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Well it’s good to see that they’re making it to the restroom now. Seeing as the whole team shit themself against USC.
by Ry on Oct 8, 2008 11:44 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
As predictable as Arizona State losing to a half-decent team:
Ohio State will be in the MNC mix by the end of the year. They will be the proverbial “team-playing-the-best-ball-right-now” and the pundits led by Sub-Commandante Wayne will explain away the USC loss with missing Beanies.
Colbert Called It.
[drop balloons]
by Gen. Stoopnagle on Oct 8, 2008 11:49 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I suppose after this we can’t make fun of Joe’OppsICrappedMyPants’Pa anymore.
by osujeff on Oct 8, 2008 11:51 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Orson,
When did this become a Buckeye blog?
by justanotherbuckeye on Oct 8, 2008 11:57 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
If you wanted a Joe Paterno reference, you could just have quoted Alex Boone:
“I don’t know why he’s running, maybe he forgot his mouthgaurd or something. Somebody said he had to go to the bathroom. I said ‘What? Who leaves a football game to go to the bathroom? That’s Joe Paterno stuff,’” Boone said.
by Raj on Oct 8, 2008 12:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Not hard when you play mostly cupcakes who don’t beat you up week in, week out. Having time to prepare against teams like Wisconson is a lot easier. If they beat Penn State, then they will have done something.. but I don’t see that happening.
by Heyberto on Oct 8, 2008 12:54 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
#7…I AM IN TEARS!!!!
The guy must have had a Blackberry. I know my boss scratches his head when I take 30 minute craps myself. But that damn “Crackberry” keeps me busy while I am restocking the pond with brownfish.
by Touchdown74 on Oct 8, 2008 12:56 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Hmm, the Buckeye Pistol formation sounds exactly like the same pistol formation that Nevada developed a few years ago. Nice to see that it’s catching on in the Big 10. It seems to be a pretty damn effective offense with a speedy QB.
by NVBlueWolf on Oct 8, 2008 1:17 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
@20…..That’s because we borrowed it from you and tweaked it slightly. No one from OSU is claiming credit for inventing the pistol formation.
by NVBlueWolf on Oct 8, 2008 1:32 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Bathroom humor and OSU…an irresistible combination…
by sb on Oct 8, 2008 1:34 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Prick. That’s the word I’m looking for. Tressel just looks like a prick.
by OhioDawg on Oct 8, 2008 2:00 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Re: #5 and #10
Skyline is a meat-sauce.
Skyline is not chili, and I refuse to refer to it as such.
There are many reasons to not call it chili:
1) If you can’t stick a spoon in it, let go, and have the spoon stay standing, then it isn’t chili.
2) If you pour it over spaghetti, let it sit for five minutes, and discover that half of the meat has fallen BETWEEN the noodles, then it isn’t chili
3) If you have to serve it over spaghetti or on a hot dog before it starts to taste good, then it isn’t chili.
So long as you don’t think of it as “chili” then it can be very tasty. Tasty enough to rival Taco Bell as the late-night drunk-food location of choice.
And never, never, NEVER order it by itself in a bowl.
by CincySooner on Oct 8, 2008 3:01 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Skyline is not chili, but it is quite delicious, and never gave me the runs. If you. Are new to it, stick with the cheese coneys.
by cincyjacket on Oct 8, 2008 3:20 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
@23 – Yeah, or a ‘relocated’ catholic priest
@24 – Totally agree. I liked GoldStar better anyway when was in Ohio.
Q – Why do they call Ohio ‘The Heart of it All?"
A – Because the brain ain’t there
(Sorry… just love cheapshot’n Buckeyes)
by TheMightyErik on Oct 8, 2008 4:03 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I’m sure Mrs.Tressel appreciates the bacon strips in Jimmy’s pants, after a good game. Nice.
by croc on Oct 8, 2008 4:13 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Brilliant headline. Took me a few seconds, though.
by Innocent Bystander on Oct 8, 2008 4:37 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Everyone around Buckeye nation thinks that picture of Tress and the 2006 offensive line is really badass and it isn’t. Barton (74) looks like he’s about to puke, Datish (behind Barton) looks like the dude pissing himself in Gladiator, Rehring (center) is probably taking a shit mid-shot, and Boone looks very “you got a purty mouth”.
And Tress just has a way of looking like something is stuck up his butt most of the time, anyway. I much prefer Beanie running across Michigan’s endzone, crazy beard and mistaken rose in tow for badass Buckeye imagery. It doesn’t hurt that he’s the only player I’d actually call a badass on the Buckeyes’ current team.
by poguemahone on Oct 8, 2008 5:39 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Golden.
I really wish Rehring would have just shit his pants while playing, then refused to leave the field. I also wish that he would have told everyone, so the booth would have heard about it and been forced to make awkward references to it.
As an aside, Skyline fuckin’ rocks.
by db on Oct 8, 2008 6:07 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
When I was playing rugby, I was advised to not eat the day of a match. Sure enough, I played better, for psychological and biological reasons.
by MCab on Oct 8, 2008 7:23 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Don’t confuse Skyline Paste with actual chili. Although it is in fact good for ‘clearing up your schedule’ it cannot be reasonbly be characterized with food or anything of the like. -same goes for Gold Star.
Here an easy nutritional map to follow while in the Buckeye State.
Central to South West Ohio = Hardy German dishes: sausage, krout, stuffed peppers
Northern Ohio = Hardy Polish dishes: sausage, sour kraut, perogies
Southeast Ohio = tree bark
by Steve on Oct 9, 2008 8:49 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
When we went to Cincinnati to play rugby, the head was pretty busy before the match, heard from a stall:
“jees, I don’t remember eating hay last night with my chili”
Thanks Skyline
by tom on Oct 9, 2008 5:35 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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