EXCELLENCE IN MARKETING: HFCS BELT EDITION

The Clemson pop-tarts crumble into nothing before you even take them out of the shiny wrapping.

Can you buy Team specific boxes?
That is to say, if I bought a Tennessee box, would one taste outstanding and the rest leave me utterly disappointed?

Why put decals of CAl or BC on there? This promotion isnt offered outside the mason dixon line.

Must be to incite locals into chants of EESSSS EEEEEE SEEEEEE SPEEEEEED

Actually, I would bet the all-natural sugars, fats, and oils are probably worse for you than the artifically developed dye.

I see no Nebraska logo? I guess “sucking ass strawberry” must not be a popular flavor.

brownsugarandcinnamonain’tnothincomparedtoknowshonARP

Though, given that this week gives us the first Saturday in October, I denounce any inch given to Pacific Life University of texas, I will say this: “Oklahoma! flavored Pop!Tarts…why not eat the whole box!”
WARNING: Kellog’s™ Corporation asks that you see a doctor if you have consumed a whole box over the course of a regular season. Possible side effects include, but are not limited to: Choking, Puking down your leg, Academic ineligibility. Advertisement, thoughts, or the presence of Burlington Coat Factory stores or related goods have been known to induce cleptomania after the consumption of “Oklahoma!” flavored Pop! Tarts

A College Football Pop-Tart featuring….Arizona?

Theeeyyy"rrrrrre Terrible!

[/tony the tiger]

The Cal Pop-Tart tastes good for about the first half and then makes you want to puke after you’ve finished it.

WVU Poptarts:

“Warning: may cause choking, impaire decision-making ability, and/or induce shitting the bed.”

Your subtle digs at LSU have not gone unnoticed. Please be aware that Mike the Tiger is not intimidated by his likeness being devoured via Pop-tarts. Rather, once the consumer inhales said likeness, that person will feel the sudden urge to drink himself to the brink of liver failure and hurl obscenities at all opposition, including but not limited to Gators and Gator-fans. Be forewarned that the only way to alleviate such abuse is to entice said persons with more alcohol, fried foods, and numerous scantily clad women.
Good luck.

Would an Illini Pop Tart get better and better every bite?

Michigan-flavored pop tarts: Still mediocre… even when you open them up and spread out the filling.

Mizzou-flavored poptarts: overall a very nice snack… unless you are double-fisting with an Oklahoma poptart, in which case it tastes like boogers.

9-
WARNING: Store West F-cking Virginia flavored Kellog’s Pop! Tarts™ in a dry space between 50-75 degrees. Keep WVU Pop! Tarts away from women and children. Exposing WVU Pop! Tarts to sofas, love seats, and other such multiple seat, plush furniture, may cause prompt said seating devices to combust.

@ #10 – Don’t forget the corndogs.

anyone else spit on their mizzou pop tarts or is that just me?

SEC Poptarts: 20% faster toasting time than the leading brand.

Syracuse Poptarts: Sets your toaster on fire.

Pop tarts? Who eats those nasty things?

Now this is something so much better…
http://img369.imageshack.us/my.php?image=collegiateemail16xb6.jpg

Iowa pop tarts cost more per bite than any other one.

The Maryland, Notre Dame and Kansas versions come with just the frosting.

That Mike the Tiger looks like it was eyeball’d on there by a bad tattoo artist.

USC tarts – whole box is awesome except for one that tastes like someone shit a 3AM Denny’s meal into it

tOSU tarts – exclusive warning on box cautions consumers NOT to mix tOSU tarts with any tart not affiliated with the Big 10 or serious consequences to include violent gagging, choking and shitting of beds

F$U tart – has answers to numerous course exams printed on every wrapper

KU and Maryland tarts – contain about 7000 more calories per serving to sustain… nevermind… that’s just cold

Maryland PopTarts. Open one box and there will be 10 inside. Another box may have 2. But, one thing’s for sure, you’ll always be glad when you’re done with them.

And, bonus fact, the box for the NC State poptarts tastes better than the pastries inside.

@ meatybob – the Nebraska version was considered unfit for public consumption.

I’m assuming when you eat the Oklahoma version, you cough it up at the very end. Just a hunch.

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Mike the Tiger Pop Tarts.

Caution: Mike the Tiger Pop Tarts may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Mike the Tiger Pop Tart contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Do not use Mike the Tiger Pop Tarts on concrete.

Discontinue consumption of Mike the Tiger Pop Tarts if any of the following occurs:

itching
vertigo
dizziness
tingling in extremities
loss of balance or coordination
slurred speech
temporary blindness
profuse sweating
or heart palpitations.

If Mike the Tiger Pop Tart begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

Mike the Tiger Pop Tarts may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Mike the Tiger Pop Tarts should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Mike the Tiger Pop Tarts, Kellogg’s Products Incorporated, and its parent company, General Mills, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Mike the Tiger Pop Tarts include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Mike the Tiger Pop Tarts has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Mike the Tiger Pop Tart.

The Notre Dame Pop Tart disappears if you turn it sideways.

UT grads do not eat pop tarts. Too low-brow.

I’m also sure that The University of Texas charged way too much money for Kellogg’s budget to license the logo use. We earn 8 million plus a year in marketing/merchandise.

As HFCS is the State Food of Tennessee, I’m very amazed that big ol Orange T ain’t on the box.

A ‘taint’ on the box?

I guess the Syracuse logo would be on a box of cupcakes.

Props on the Happy Fun Ball reference, Unhappy Monkey.

the alabama pop tart is far better than anyone expected but doesn’t have time for this shit.

The Northwestern Pop-tart costs twice as much as the Michigan Pop-tart, is usually served frozen, and you really hope that brown filling is supposed to be chocolate.

1. one thousand pop tart cocktails!

uga poptarts—10 scrumptious, impressive poptarts.

2 stinkers.