CHARLIES WEIS GETS ANTE'D UP
by Orson on Oct 2, 2008 2:15 PM EDT
Email
PrintMusic plays through Charlie Weis' headphones in his office. Game footage rolls in the darkened room. Feathery images of players move forward, rewind, and then move forward as the large man examines the the play from every angle.
Weis: This music...I just don't understand it. I need to understand it, though, to get at my players. If only there were someone who could help me get more emotion out of my players, and help me understand the soul of this...music...
[A GREAT RUMBLING OF BASS AND MUCH SHAKING]
Marky M: YeaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
And it's one, two, three and to the four!
Fuck your brick wall, Marky M don't need the door.
Bustin em down like I got the Kool-Aid
Don't need the sunblock cause I make my own shade
If ya act real nice then I'll bring back the sun
If not, keep you in the dark like my name was Jame Gumb
Marky M's here to show you how to stack the dough
Marky M's bout to show you how to freak the flow
See you rockin' sissy silk on them ND shades
Your shit is old and wack like a cheap tight fade
Get the keys to the Honda but you think it's a Bentley
Leavin' weakass game like your name was Dirk Gently
You want confessions Charlie then I'll give you mine
I start my day at fresh and fly past nine
I tip the scales at like 409
The sun hates on me 'cause of the way I shine
You bring your crew, Todd Reesing gonna stretch him out
He's 5'4" but his jimmy like a waterspout
My whole crew steal your girls make your boys pout
Take 'em backstage and bang their damn weaves out
I'm the fat lawya got them asses shakin'
I'm the fat lawya hustlin', bringin' the bacon
I'm the fat lawya down at Carnivale
Bring me ten fat asses and I'll baste 'em all
Think about it--fuck 'em, let em pray
Down here the girls fuck a wide body every day
Down here this wide body's workin' gettin' em laid
And when they ass walk the streets this wide body get paid
YEAAAAHHHH!!!!
Even street acrobats got my back, lawya!
You wanna understand hip-hop, Charlie? STREET ACROBATS, LAWYA.
Get paid, get laid, make shade.
Marky M done ragged this bitch to the timbers.
We out.
Snickers!
Charlie Weis: SOMEONE FIX THIS GODDAMN WALL!!! GET ME A GOLF CART, DAMMIT!!!!
28 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
I love this.
Anytime someone needs help, Marky M is there to knock down a wall and spit some dope advice.
by ChasingMizzou on Oct 2, 2008 2:24 PM EDT reply actions
Oh my dear lord…. Weis joining forces with BF Mangino… buffets everywhere shudder in terror
by TheMightyErik on Oct 2, 2008 2:25 PM EDT reply actions
Couldn’t there have been more pictures of Marky in the track suit?
by Zone Left on Oct 2, 2008 2:25 PM EDT reply actions
That is the first time I have seen the extra “S” at the end of Charlie instead of Weis.
by Jeremy on Oct 2, 2008 2:25 PM EDT reply actions
TIME OUT. TIME fucking OUT, on that picture with the carnivale chicks. Whats with the one in the background’s tummy. You know what, I don’t even want to know, lawyas.
by Brian on Oct 2, 2008 2:26 PM EDT reply actions
fan-damn-tastic! I almost pissed myself…. wait… there it is.
by Jarrod on Oct 2, 2008 2:26 PM EDT reply actions
The only reason I don’t hate kU with every fiber of my being is b/c the flyest MC Marky M is bringin the heat and spittin fire. Beyond that M-I-Z-F-K-U
by J-Mac=WMD on Oct 2, 2008 2:28 PM EDT reply actions
These guys ain’t the same since Buff Love passed
by Kerwin4two on Oct 2, 2008 2:32 PM EDT reply actions
You know, I bet Mangino really gets pissed off when he can’t get pizza delivered in London.
Nice reference, Orson.
by Kahuna on Oct 2, 2008 2:33 PM EDT reply actions
@ 6
I did not see that upon my first glance. I hate you.
by Megatron Jones on Oct 2, 2008 2:40 PM EDT reply actions
Brian @ 6 – I noticed that too, and it’s not a “taking time out from banging supermodels” question you pose. More of a medical curiosity.
by DC Trojan on Oct 2, 2008 2:53 PM EDT reply actions
#2
he’s like giant track-suited superhero isn’t he?
by CincySooner on Oct 2, 2008 2:54 PM EDT reply actions
Wies and Mangino? what is this, a casting call for The Disorderlies II?
by Claws on Oct 2, 2008 2:56 PM EDT reply actions
Was that a “Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency” reference in there?
Obscure Douglas Adams for the win!
by Beauford Bixel on Oct 2, 2008 3:03 PM EDT reply actions
I wondered why the jump was placed so early on the post. Now I know. We cannot allow Marky M to retain this stealth technology.
Also, I can’t wait for the presumable pre-Border War ultraphat beatz. Or a battle rap with Pinkel. Realz.
by owls and gophs and craep on Oct 2, 2008 3:08 PM EDT reply actions
Nice job slipping in the Silence of the Lambs reference.
I can’t explain why, but I have this strange image in my head where Marky M, Phil Fulmer, Jim Tressel, Ed Orgeron, Sylvester Croom, and Lee Corso have joined forces to record a song a la We Are the World to raise money and buy Stuart Scott a new eye.
by Geaux Irish on Oct 2, 2008 3:09 PM EDT reply actions
Brian @6
the one in the background is Gramma Bitchbottom – still shaken’ it after 70 yrs…
but the real question is … who’s the guy in the foreground with the funky eyeshadow?…. he’s as flat as my 6 yr old neighbor
by InsaneCoachPosse on Oct 2, 2008 3:31 PM EDT reply actions
@6
Once a Ho, always a Ho!
Rain, Snow, Sleet or Shine, Bitch better have my money!
by Marky M on Oct 2, 2008 3:42 PM EDT reply actions
You know what the difference is between Weis and Mangino? Bitch mentality. Well, that and about 50 pounds.
by DevilGrad on Oct 2, 2008 4:01 PM EDT reply actions
hell yeah @10 for getting even more obscure Douglas Adams on that ass FTW!
by dawgaddict on Oct 2, 2008 4:58 PM EDT reply actions
Comin thru like Kool-Aid….or the Schiltz Malt Liquor Bull….
Marky M’s new Hip Hop clothing line…..
“Phatty Fat”….sponsored by Lipitor and Plavix….
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 2, 2008 5:26 PM EDT reply actions
I heard this one from one of my friends that’s a Nebraska fan…..
Mark Mangino was recruiting in Kansas City, and was trying to get back to the outerbelt, which is numbered 435. Anyways, Mangino got lost, so he stopped at a gas station.
Mangino walks in, asks the guy at the counter, “Hey, how do I get to 435?”
The guy looks up and says, “Mix in a salad or two.”
by MikeLew on Oct 2, 2008 9:26 PM EDT reply actions
With this post, I find myself thinking you are just the right man for this particular moment in time. Like Wilt Chamberlain when he found himself between the advent of birth control and the discovery of AIDS. I am grateful to bear witness.
Enjoy it while it lasts. Someday you will be rich, but decrepit and out-of-touch like Rick Reilly.
by Chester Copperpot on Oct 3, 2008 12:34 AM EDT reply actions
between wies and mangino, which one do yall think was the last person to see his own package without the help of a mirror?
by Clawa on Oct 3, 2008 11:10 AM EDT reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
