THE TONY FRANKLIN SPREAD: AXED
The Tony Franklin spread came to Auburn, a misbegotten experiment that in the process of teleportation from Troy to Auburn somehow acquired fly DNA along the way, and then began losing body parts until it became a raving, useless mass of receivers dancing 3 yard cha-cha routes and a quarterback lofting fungo-balls into the secondary. It was begging to be put out of its obvious misery, even with all the shiny Fred McGriff endorsements.

What you're doing there? Yes, see, the problem is that it sucks.
Tommy Tuberville has shotgunned the beast for the moment:
"We don't run Tony Franklin's spread offense," Tuberville said. "This is Auburn's offense. It's like our defense. We're going to run what works and what we're going to match up better with the other team. Everybody has to do that. You can't put a square peg in a round hole. Why would you do that?"
Auburn is currently 90th in the nation in total offense and 97th in passing, the backbone of Franklin's spread, so it's a mercy killing at this point. Their imminent switch to a more "Auburn fan-friendly" offense includes something called "the War Eagle" formation, which we'll guess is just the Wildhogrebel, but run with Mario Fannin, and does not involve anything so vulgar as passing more than one out of every ten snaps. Given that Ole Miss averages damn near nine yards a snap with the formation DAMMIT SHIT DAMMIT SHITFIRE DAMMIT, why not copy America's favorite aggravating high school formation gone feral?
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It make sense. If you don’t have the personnel to run a certain system, you can either try and make yourself believe that it will work (Nebraska w/ Callahan in charge) or simply go with what works, even if it is a playbook of random parts. Besides, they’ve already forgotten the birthday after drunk-stumbling past Croom’s Crew.
by That 5.0 Guy on Oct 1, 2008 10:50 AM EDT reply actions
My fear is their offense will suck ass all damn season and then magically just in time for the late November showdown they morph into the West Fucking Virginia offense of years past.
by The Snake will Drive Again! on Oct 1, 2008 10:52 AM EDT reply actions
As an Auburn fan , I’d like to see this season not wasted for a system that doesn’t look like a good fit at Auburn. If we are still going to push the system sometime this season, I would rather not have a QB running the offense that makes me wish that Brandon Cox taking the snaps. I pray to the football gods that Todd isn’t Auburn’s future.
by BAR on Oct 1, 2008 10:52 AM EDT reply actions
#2
You mean WVA from 2 years ago, right?
But I couldn’t agree with you more. I have nightmares about it every night about us being undefeated going into that game and having it all fall apart.
But then I wake up realizing that for the first time in 6 years, we actually have a BETTER team than the Barners. If we continue to play like we have been, we won’t lose.
by haybeav on Oct 1, 2008 11:04 AM EDT reply actions
Back in 2002 or so, Tubby gave Mark Richt the unsolicited advice that he needed a power running game to win in the SEC. I found it odd that Auburn, who traditionally ran well, change to an offense that would only work with the right personnel. Otherwise, it would suck worse than tOSU in a bowl game vs. an SEC team. Now the question is, do they have the personnel to run a “regular” offense or are they in spread limbo?
by Crabapple Buck on Oct 1, 2008 11:07 AM EDT reply actions
#2
Y’know, that would make the past 3 weeks of pure, agonizing heartburn sooo worth it. :D
by weagle251 on Oct 1, 2008 11:09 AM EDT reply actions
And yet the Clawfense still walks the Earth.
by Digital Headbutt on Oct 1, 2008 11:10 AM EDT reply actions
Honestly, I think I’d John McClane through a room of broken glass with a shit-eating grin just to have that happen.
by weagle251 on Oct 1, 2008 11:11 AM EDT reply actions
The reason the Clawfense still stalks the dark corners of the earth is that Tennessee coaches may just have too much wrapped up in it.
Either that or I’d got with pictures of Fulmer and Thai Ladyboys.
by That 5.0 Guy on Oct 1, 2008 11:17 AM EDT reply actions
@ 2 & 4:
Completely agree.
Also, the funniest part of that story, at least I think it was that story, is Todd’s family calling Cox’s family to learn how to deal with getting boo’ed by their own fans in favor of Kodi Burns.
It’s effing Tyler Watts/Andrew Zow all over again.
by Tater Salad on Oct 1, 2008 11:19 AM EDT reply actions
@6 – I tried the “spread limbo” with this crazy chick once. Wrenched my back something fierce.
by GamecockTony on Oct 1, 2008 11:20 AM EDT reply actions
Tommy, this is not what the natives want to hear:
“One day we’ll have the talent that we can say, ‘Well, we’ll run 100 percent of what Tony likes to run,’” Tuberville said. “Right now, we don’t have that talent in some areas.”
He said it. Troy talent > Auburn
by Der Schatten on Oct 1, 2008 11:22 AM EDT reply actions
We had the #1 wide receiver class in the country 3 years ago. We had the #1 offensive line class in the country 2 years ago. We have very capable running backs. The only place we don’t have the talent is at quarterback. Also, I think some of our position coaches (I’m looking at you Hugh Nall) will never embrace the spread.
by karlhungus12 on Oct 1, 2008 11:27 AM EDT reply actions
as an Auburn fan my only reaction is, “Fucking Sweet”. the shittiest show on earth may finally come to a firey end and now maybe will score that tricky thing called points….or probably this just means we are doomed! doomed! doomed!
by suicidewatch on Oct 1, 2008 11:42 AM EDT reply actions
Hey Auburn fans, let’s make the most of this. I’ll trade you Rudy Carpenter for Ben Tate, straight up. I’ve always wondered what he could do with an actual offensive line as opposed to the five unemployed bouncers ASU uses.
by Big Jon on Oct 1, 2008 12:06 PM EDT reply actions
That lack of talent he’s talking about is a broken-ass armed slow QB that came along with the package. He can’t throw it deep, so why not play 8 up front and stuff the run and the short passes. That’s what Tenn did and I’m sure that’s what all the other defenses will do from now on when he’s in the game. Frustrating to say the least.
by kage on Oct 1, 2008 12:22 PM EDT reply actions
Bobby Louder sez: “We messed up big time on Saturday. I had donors in thew stands and I’m huggin’ and holdin’ hands and kissin’em in the ears and prayin’ for a good showin’. And what do we do? We end up lookin’ like a monkey fuckin’ a football out there.”
by boogerville on Oct 1, 2008 12:38 PM EDT reply actions
Could this be Karma for the Al Borges thing? I think Tubs should start a list of everyone he’s wronged, starting with Borges. Oh, and grow a sweet ass mustache.
Seriously, looking at how Borges made Campbell into a first round pick and made Cox into a borderline competent QB, imagine what he could have done with Kodi!
by we are sorry borges on Oct 1, 2008 12:58 PM EDT reply actions
I’d trade UF’s OC Dan Mullen for Mr. Franklin today and gladly pay the airfare to get Franklin into and Mullen THE FUCK OUT OF Gainesville.
by NativeSon on Oct 1, 2008 1:15 PM EDT reply actions
Haybeav, that’s why I said ‘years past’. If they tun into the WFVU offense of today, I will be just fine with that.
by The Snake will Drive Again! on Oct 1, 2008 1:40 PM EDT reply actions
Guys, it simply boils down to the QB… This QB wasn’t stolen from Texas, Oklahoma or Florida….he was stolen from freakin TROY! Thats the problem, he is not a SEC type QB, even in a standard drop back offense he’s in trouble….all the 3 and outs is leaving the defense out to dry…..So does Franklin go back to the middle school or down to UAB?
Its about the Jimmy and Joes, not the X’ and O’s…and they are missing about 7 skilled Jimmy and Joes…..how many players go to the NFL off of the Auburn offense? How many went after the 2004 season? There is your answer. And if they keep screwing around, Alabama will own both Georgia and Alabama in recruiting 4/5 stars. 1 full spring and 1 full recruiting class and if we repeat with another strong class, the next 3 yrs will be interesting……..and once we get a legit deep throwing QB like Stafford…..but still, we are gonna hang at least 35 pts if their defense is still intact since the injury bug is starting to work its way on them via wear and tear from staying on the field for 45 mins out of a 60 min game….
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 1, 2008 2:02 PM EDT reply actions
“The one thing I like about Tony, of course, with you all he’s pretty blunt,” Tuberville said. “I’m more political. Sometimes you can handle the truth and sometimes YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!.” ……from Evan Woodberrys article……
i knew that motherscratcher ordered the Code Red on Dorsey, I freakin knew it!!!!
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Oct 1, 2008 2:07 PM EDT reply actions
Pelican, our time of possession is a little more than 30:00 per game, so I would not say our defense is on the field too much. They are on a short field too much, but that’s a different problem. We will see how Bama’s O-line holds up when they play LSU and Auburn. I wouldn’t count on scoring 35 points just yet. Of course, you might not need more than 5 to win.
by karlhungus12 on Oct 1, 2008 2:36 PM EDT reply actions
It’s all a ploy. We’re not going to even run an offense. Punting is winning, and Nick Saban has no way to scheme against an O that punts on first down.
Where’s my Midget Fuck Lion?
by NewAZTiger on Oct 1, 2008 2:41 PM EDT reply actions
But who will be calling the plays? Tony Franklin is going to be running “Auburn’s” offense (I can only assume that means “Al Borges”)? He has run nothing but the spread for quite some time now. Was Franklin jsut effectively fired without being fired?
This should be interesting.
by Kecalf Bailey on Oct 1, 2008 4:49 PM EDT reply actions
no offense, coach, but that offense has the brandon cox curse. Beautiful plays until the red zone. Then a field goal.
by lola on Oct 1, 2008 6:20 PM EDT reply actions
The commercial for the Tony Franklin Spread Offense videos has Dusty Bonner in a goofy hat saying “This is the Spread Offense Video that gets results!”. It also has Jared Lorenzen looking out from behind the emptied main buffet at Ponderosa saying “This is the spread that gets my results!”
by Yinka Double Dare on Oct 1, 2008 7:14 PM EDT reply actions
Everyone knows that we had to scrap the Tony Franklin System because the Auburn Spread System has such a better acronym.
by NewAZTiger on Oct 1, 2008 10:07 PM EDT reply actions
Sweet,
How can a Bama fan go wrong here? They think they have top-tier talkent at wide receiver and at running back, when in fact, they have neither. They think that Burns is the answer. They think that for some reason Burns is being kept on the bench because the coach(es) are inept and just don’t recognize the fact that Kodi can take them to the promised land.
Hahahahaahahah!!!
I hope Jug’Nuts waits until the Iron Bowl to unveil Kodi. Oh God, please let it be.
by John In Huntsville on Oct 2, 2008 1:21 AM EDT reply actions
Does Troy need someone to come run the spread? Dan Mullen is finding out that the Ess EEE SEE is a rocky place where his seed can find no purchase. It doesn’t matter that AU has 2 stars all over their spread, take a look at the Gators. They’ve got 4/5 stars all over the place and they are ranked 72nd best offense. Yeeeee Hawwww!!!! I’d be happy to send Mullen to some place he would be welcome.
by Hi McDunough on Oct 2, 2008 6:11 AM EDT reply actions
tony franklin is a joke… Now I know why Troy’s coach Blakney sent Tubby a dozen roses the day Franklin quit Troy. Flush Franklin!
by War Eagle on Oct 4, 2008 9:42 PM EDT reply actions
Tony franklin’s days are numbered. Auburn fans wont stand for such mediocre performances. They are going to look to blame someone and it is going to be the untested offensive coordinator.
I made my plea public to oust Tony Franklin. Sure i’m not the first to recognize the impending failure. But then again I was for ousting Tubs at the first sign of weakness years ago.
by Tony Franklin's Hot Seat on Oct 4, 2008 9:43 PM EDT reply actions
Al Borges… Goes South and builds a name for himself. Amazing.
The WAC has 9 other OCs that are just as good as him. If you’ve got $75K and a moving van, you can have the one of your choice for next season. (The Fresno State one is really good.)
by Chris Mackey on Jan 12, 2009 8:10 PM EST reply actions

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