UConn @ Loovll

HOLLY, IRRATIONAL: Connecticut, based on absolutely nothing but fresh affection for the Huskies, owed entirely to this. Let this be the first of a trend. Let player blogs sprout across the land. (Let Jonathan Crompton’s be titled “Alone (in the pocket) Again, Naturally.”)

ORSON, IRRATIONAL. When Baylor almost pantses you, you deserve to lose said pants to someone in need of a fine pair of pants. Like Steve Kragthorpe, who wandered sad and pantsless through most of 2007 and for the first game of 2008, but lo! Kragthorpe and competence are not speaking, but they’re texting, keeping tabs on each other on IM, you know…just feeling each other out. And in search of pants. [/noideajustguessing.]

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What the blue hell has become of our favorite Broadcaster That Ate Metropolis?  Giant Trev has been shot into space, placed at the bottom of the Marianas for the safely of all mankind, or inserted into the opening credits of an unnamed film of the Hitchcockian persuasion, and SprintTV is the poorer for it.

Oh, this just won’t do.  Fixed, after the jump:

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WASHINGTON, DC (AP) –Doubts over the proposal to bail out the USC Trojan football program continue to slow the progress of the bill through Congress. Both Democratic and Republican lawmakers object to portions of the package, and are asking for more time to allow for further debate on the issue.

“I am ashamed it is taking this long to protect the American economy from a clear and dire threat,” said California Senator Barbara Boxer. The sponsor of the bill, Boxer says the bill would prevent American sports consumers’ already plummeting productivity from “cratering” by saving them the trouble of learning new teams’ names, uniforms, and style of play. (more…)

The sheets aren’t even cold and already media outlets from coast to coast are scrambling to concoct cringe-inducing single-entendre Beaver-Trojan headlines for your perusal and nausea. In the immediate aftermath of tonight’s upset, we took the liberty of assembling every one we could find in a safe location, to be devoured or avoided as you see fit. Little humanitarian effort, from us to you, on the eve of what promises to be another weekend through the looking glass.

Jacquizz, where’s your protection?

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Welcome to our Factor Five Five Factor Preview of USC at Oregon State.

Oregon State nutshot USC in late October of 2006. Repeat: unlikely. Pic: Don Ryan, AP.

Category one: Nebulous Statistical Comparisons of Dubious Validity. USC has, to this point in an extremely young season after playing exactly two games, allowed ten points total to two offenses in dire straits: the overmatched and still-currently-on-fire Virginia Cavaliers and the pre-Terrell Pryor-takeover, Beanie Wells-less Buckeyes. Oregon State constitutes the best challenge USC has faced yet, a statement of limited utility thanks to the relative weakness of the first two opponents.

The utility of this statement may not increase much over the remainder of the season: (more…)

Blogtoberfest! Because Marky M needs a breather and a Hambrosia fitness shake, available only at select Midwestern GNCs.

TREV! Trev with his Illinois/Penn State preview. You know you want us to do a charity drive where, if you donate enough cash, you get a video of Trev and ourselves singing “What a Wonderful World” with Santa hats on for the holidays.

Corn Nation handed out their cobs of the week. Mike Sherman should probably work on his “competent/not lost” look on the sidelines. Bill Callahan had a good one, and he wasn’t even competent, so anyone can do it, really.

Bears Necessity has the Dwarves, yo. A correlative, yes, but a good one, and additionally, a reminder that Tom Hansen took a three week vacation during football season, something an SEC commissioner would be drawn and quartered for doing. (Considered: the trip was scheduled long before he actually knew when he would be retiring, etc, yes…but still.)

Absurdity is the norm. Yawn, another physically improbable act caught on camera gone viral.

Jermaine Cunningham, operational. Will start against Ole Miss, barring relapse. Also in there: DT Brandon Antwine is un-banged up, and looking to play around what sounds like midseason.

We get misty. Purdue Pete tugs the heartstrings at BGS.

We’re sure that taught them. Ron Prince really did have his players run sprints at the stadium at 3 in the morning after the loss to Louisville. We’re sure additionally taxing players after they had their asses handed to them on very little sleep taught them…um…that sometimes, for no reason, their coach will have them do something wasteful, stupid, and melodramatic.

The rise of the shitty spread: Noted at the always sage Smart Football: the rise of the shitty spread.

“You have to earn your way, every day, or you don’t play,” Mangino said. “I didn’t mean for it to rhyme but it came out that way.”–Kansas coach Mark Mangino in the University Daily Kansan.

You have to earn your way
Every single day
You have to earn your way
Or homie you don’t play

Big Mac with the mack suit
Stunnin’ in the track suit (more…)

Mark Richt as a pitchman is a bit of a mixed bag in terms of execution. His best work probably appeared in the Michael Mann-esque slo-mo of his Ford truck commercials, a controversial piece of work given the deep, ongoing dirty war between Ford and Chevrolet factions in the deep South, and one for which he’s undoubtedly suffered. (”I’m sorry, coach, but this is Chevy country, and if you listen hard enough you can hear Fords rusting at night. My son can’t go to your school.”)

His most moving and complicated work, though, was initially panned for what audiences saw as a mumbling, incoherent performance in “Carpets of Dalton 2: The Restapling.”

Sometimes, the audience leads the artist; but in their best work, artists force the audience on a journey they might not want to take, a dark and intensely personal Dantean descent into a hell of their own making. (more…)

A debate about who’s really a Buckeye, and who’s working for the Canadian Muslim Terrorists over at the Sporting Blog.