BRAH NOT SO FAST BRAH: STEVEN GARCIA, PROBABLY

by Orson on Sep 30, 2008 2:05 PM EDT

Mini-Matthew McConoughey will have to wait to howl another week, as what was imminent on Sunday--Steven Garcia's assumption of the starting job at South Carolina--is now only probable due to Steve Spurrier's film review and general grumble toward quarterbacks who venture outside of the pocket.

Stephen Garcia really struggled after about the first drive or two (against Alabama-Birmingham), Spurrier said. He got to where he was just running out of (the pocket) all the time last week. I dont know if hes quite ready to play.

You make up your mind. We'll be over here livin'.

Garcia was also the leading rusher against UAB, something else that had to make Spurrier's well-tanned hide crawl. The number one defense in the country, btw? South Carolina's, which has been revived by Ellis Johnson, who you may remember from his work keeping Mississippi State bowl eligible with an amazing "all-safeties" offense/defense in Starkville.

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Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin’ right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We’re talkin’ some f-ing muscle.

by TideDruid on Sep 30, 2008 2:11 PM EDT reply actions

Orson, Someone just gave me $3 dollars in assorted change to say…..and i quote…..“all you florida and sec assholes are homo’s”

Anyway, my job is done. I’m going to go buy a shit load of bouncy balls

by Spooky Juice on Sep 30, 2008 2:24 PM EDT reply actions

I guess he has three options at QB:
Run out of the pocket
Throw to the other team
Watch O line crumble as any team’s (good or bad) D line comes to you, standing there, crapping your pants, and either get sacked, throw a pick, or cry.

by Carolina_girl on Sep 30, 2008 2:35 PM EDT reply actions

Spooky Juice, you owe someone $3 back. You know he didn’t give you $3 to post what you just posted. Cheaters on bets are what’s wrong with America.

by CommodoreSwine on Sep 30, 2008 2:36 PM EDT reply actions

DAMN IT ALL, we’re missing out on one of the great entertainers of our generation, and we’re all poorer for it. I’m not even kidding a little bit—let’s sponsor a charity drive to get him named the starter. That’s a worthy cause.

by Holly on Sep 30, 2008 2:37 PM EDT reply actions

I would be shocked if he didn’t start against the Ole Miss Nutt Busters. Besides his obvious scrambling ability, he has a cannon. Early in the game against UAB, he threw a 10 yd out from the nearside hashmark to the opposite sideline. It was a thing of beauty.

by Mike on Sep 30, 2008 2:41 PM EDT reply actions

Hey Holly do you mean:
The “Don’t Extinguish Steven as Starter” Charity drive
Or “Starting Garcia is the Key To Success” Charity Drive? Either one brought to you bu Budweiser

by Carolina_girl on Sep 30, 2008 2:43 PM EDT reply actions

Holly
A question dear…how much would you pay to replace Crompton with Mr. Garcia?

by Billy From Baton Rouge on Sep 30, 2008 2:54 PM EDT reply actions

For what its worth: the depth chart for this week just came out and it has Garcia over Smelley. But the words from the Head Ball Coach say that nothing is decided.

by Charlestowne on Sep 30, 2008 2:58 PM EDT reply actions

’DoreSwine:

He totally did. I wouldn’t welch. Guy in an OSU shirt. I personally disagree with him being an Alabama fan and being that Florida isn’t one of the teams on my “SEC shit list” but who can pass up bouncy balls.

And dear sir…..everyone knows that Trace Adkins is what’s wrong with this country

by Spooky Juice on Sep 30, 2008 3:24 PM EDT reply actions

Spooky: what I meant was that he asked you to say bad stuff about Florida, not to say “someone paid me to say bad stuff about Florida.” I’d want my money back if I were the other guy.

Anyone interested in replacing their QB with Casey Dick? You could do worse. Maybe.

by CommodoreSwine on Sep 30, 2008 3:36 PM EDT reply actions

Is SC supposed to be God’s way of getting back at Steve?

by BurritoBrosShits on Sep 30, 2008 3:37 PM EDT reply actions

Razorback fans fondly recall the two weeks Ellis Johnson was defensive coordinator for Arkansas this summer.

If there’s one thing coach Petrino can’t stand, it’s a man who can’t keep his word!

Soooooiiiiiieeeee Pig I was looking forward to Johnson coaching the Hog’s D.

I’ll get you for this Spurrier!

by PeayHog on Sep 30, 2008 3:38 PM EDT reply actions

This is really harshing my buzz.

@#3 – well said.

by GamecockTony on Sep 30, 2008 3:49 PM EDT reply actions

@ 12

Yes. Just like every football season is God’s way of getting back at Mississippi State fans.

CRAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWLLLIIINNNNGGG IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIINN

THESE WOOOOOOOOOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEEEEEAAL

cut cut *

by EmoDawg on Sep 30, 2008 4:02 PM EDT reply actions

Gw/MMOHS—“Hey Coach Spurrier, you going to name me starter?”

Spurrier—“No.”

Gw/MMOHS—“It’d be a lot cooler if you did.”

by robert on Sep 30, 2008 4:05 PM EDT reply actions

At this point, safe to say I’d slice out a kidney and leave it in a motel bathtub full of ice for an unnamed third party to bring Garcia to Rocky Top. I don’t even care whether he’s that good; he’d be great television.

by Holly on Sep 30, 2008 4:08 PM EDT reply actions

Remember, we now have Mike Hunt lying in wait in Starksville to ambush the Dicks.

Also, I really, really miss the JPW jokes this year. Damn you Satan!!!

by yoyofutbawl on Sep 30, 2008 4:08 PM EDT reply actions

Yeah, well, listen. You ought to ditch the two geeks you’re in the car with now and get in with us.

But that’s all right, we’ll worry about that later. I will see you there. All right?

The older you get, the more rules they are going to try and get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin’, man. L-I-V-I-N.

by DHC on Sep 30, 2008 4:16 PM EDT reply actions

It’s just like Fla for Spurrier, jerking three QBs around. Except at UF they were three GOOD QBs That being said, a drunk Garcia is still better than a sober Casey Dick. The South Carolina team does remind me of Alabama, except the Gamecock’s “men mountains” play linebacker, and Bama has an O line, a competent QB, and two [count’em} RBs.

by shanensga on Sep 30, 2008 5:07 PM EDT reply actions