STOP HITTING YOURSELF. STOP HITTING YOURSELF. STOP HITTING YOURSELF.
Late last night, 1500 words on Jonathan Crompton Not Being The Guy were rendered hopefully irrelevant by this headline. (You’re welcome.) This is far, far from over—Tennessee does not promote young players lightly, easily, or without maddening deliberation at speeds too slow to deserve the term. But an entrenched veteran, deserving or no, even catching a glimpse of a hook is a welcome sight, no less so for being completely fucking overdue.
The above article was followed shortly by a chaser of nightmare fuel. He’s determined! Good morning, sunshine! Sleep well? Did the football being played around you last week and the week before disturb your nappytime in the pocket? If there’s a delicious deep-fried lining to this clusterfuck, it’s that the Cromptonites, bottom-feeders in action and in onomatopoeia, are at last shaken free of their delusions of any modicum of competence on the part of their carp-faced idol. Say what you will about Ainge, but the Bad Erik label wouldn’t have been necessary had there not been Good Erik to mirror it. Occasionally, shit got done. That is painfully and entirely no longer the case.
“I’m still gonna be the guy.” Damn right you are. The guy with three touchdowns and four INTs in four games.
Which brings me to this: You’re late, Tennessee. “It’s easy to point fingers at somebody else,” Fulmer said. “I know we didn’t make every perfect call as coaches.” Here’s the question: Why didn’t you? Auburn didn’t show you anything we didn’t all see shades of against Missy State. They couldn’t get past the 50 in the second half except by punting. There was a conference opponent on the other sideline who played eminently beatable football on Saturday, and Crompton didn’t complete a pass in the 4th quarter. Most troubling of all, there are trained football professionals who still thought as late as Saturday evening that having this kid pass on third and fourth down is a legitimate method of moving the football. Here’s Jonathan Crompton against Florida, passing on third down: 2 of 7. Here he is against Auburn: 3 of 9. Three of his four interceptions have come on third downs. That clutch is busted, son. These are grown men who gave their lives to the game of football, who looked at all available data and made a conscious decision to hang in there with Ol’ Faithful(ly Flatfoot). I’m not a pitchfork-and-torcher hollering FIRE FULMER…but everyone who is has yet to be logically rebutted.
So here we are. Crompton in one corner, utterly untried sophomore Nick Stephens in the other, with all-purpose scramblebot Gerald Jones lurking. This is Tennessee. We are frightened by change, and brightly colored birds. But Crompton isn’t clawing his way up the learning curve like an SEC first-stringer ought. If this is even going to be salvaged as a rebuilding season, it’s going to have to be constructed around somebody else. We’re starting from the bottom of a well either way.
Big ups to LSUFreek. Oh, ‘Freek. You’re the ‘freekest.









1
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
Shouldn’t that say: “But [Clawson] isn’t clawing his way up the learning curve like an SEC first-stringer ought.”
Don’t worry Holly. I’m sure UT will have it all figured out in a little less than two weeks. That seems to be how it goes.
It is only a game… it is only a game… it is only a game… it is only a game…
September 29th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
2
Holly says:
Clawson is another 1500 words.
September 29th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
3
NewAZTiger says:
When I left JHS, it was the quietest I’ve ever heard from a winning crowd, especially against a former rival in UT.
I had the feeling that neither team should’ve won that game.
September 29th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
4
Holly says:
Concurred. I watched it with a pack of Auburn alums, and everyone on both sides was in a horrifically bad mood the entire rest of the day.
September 29th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
5
Cuddlybear says:
Yo Swindel check out the ‘Coachbook’ at http://www.dontfirealgroh.com
September 29th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
6
haybeav says:
Any day there is some kind of Arrested Development reference is a good day in my book.
September 29th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
7
Digital Headbutt says:
So, which is the offense of choice in SEC hell: UT’s Clawfense, MSU’s Croomfense, or Auburn’s Frankenfense?
September 29th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
8
Holly says:
Sanders, 2005, but maybe not for long.
September 29th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
9
allaha says:
I felt your pain — but, thankfully, no longer (at least not now).
Your comment about not promoting young players was horribly applicable to Texas last year (and years past). Now, however, it appears Mack is more swayed by talent than seniority. . . . And, in an unrelated development, we are now winning. It is far too early to claim Texas is back, as we have yet to play a good team, but the signs — and, more so, the policy shift — are encouraging.
September 29th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
10
blon says:
#9
True. This year’s vast improvement also comes from an infusion of youthful exuberance in the form of two assistant coaches. I give Brown credit for the realization that the excitement just didn’t seem to be there. The team seems to playing at a different level. I’m sure a lot of it has to do with talent (which Texas has in spades) but it is also due to a new sense of ardor that has not been seen in Austin in a while.
September 29th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
11
Digital Headbutt says:
Also, I think three new works by LSU Freek may be more awesome than the human brain can handle.
September 29th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
12
Holly says:
Think of it as eating lots of ice cream after you get your tonsils taken out without anesthesia.
September 29th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
13
Brah says:
All this talk about inept QBs and no mention of Garcia bringing little McConaughey to SEC action this weekend. Nutt and the Rebs should seriously be practicing up on their interception return skills…they should get quite a few opportunities for the pick six.
September 29th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
14
The Snake will Drive Again! says:
#9 – UT is back? Back from where? Hasn’t Texas and Mack Brown won 10 games each year for like the last 10 years? My God man. And these people think Bammers have unholy expectations. Unbelievalbe. What am I missing here?
September 29th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
15
Kahuna says:
#14 – If Texas doesn’t beat OU and A&M in the same season, it’s a really down year (and that was the case last year, for the first time in a long time). They could lose to Oklahoma and then go on to win the MNC and some Longhorn fans would still grumble. And truth be told, if Texas had a season where they only beat OU and A&M and got creamed by everyone else, I’m not sure I’d call it a horrible season.
September 29th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
16
Graysnail says:
Holly: The Sanders, 2005 offense can only be run for three plays since it’s categorically impossible to sustain a drive using it, so thankfully it wouldn’t last in SEC hell.
September 29th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
17
Geori says:
Love the arrested development clip. Thanks Freek!
Can we look forward to Dr. Tobias Funke being featured soon?
September 29th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
18
TheMightyErik says:
Awesome job by the ‘freek’… that ’stop hitting yourself’ game ranks up there with the ‘I am not touching you’ game, eh Holly?
September 29th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
19
Holly says:
Look, you started this when you taught her the Gator Chomp.
September 29th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
20
TheMightyErik says:
She wouldn’t do the Gator chomp on Saturday and look what happened! Everybody lost on that deal. She did learn the ‘We Are… Penn State’ on Saturday, though…
September 29th, 2008 at 11:13 pm