OLE MISS 31, FLORIDA 30

At least someone’s happy about this. Frankly, you’re probably fortunate if you lose by one after you spend the entire third quarter practicing the “fumble” drill. You’re actually fortunate to not lose by two TDs, actually, given the number of flubs, mistakes, miscues, clusterfucks, missed tackles, blown assignments, dropped passes, and fumbles fumbles fumbles fumbles fumbles did we mention fumbles yes fumbles.
The defense made one critical mistake, and that was Major Wright deciding to guard the wrong side of the field on the long pass to Shea Hodge. The rest is on the offense: the offense that kept playing the lunch buffet with the play-calling, calling up a seemingly random slew of plays to turnover the ball with, the offense that gave the Ole Miss offense the ball three times inside the fifty, the offense plunged this team headfirst off a cliff with errors and a final fatal playcall—the Tebow Smash that hasn’t worked at all going on now four games into this season–that was doomed from the beginning.
Turnovers killed Florida for the majority of the game. Then play-calling delivered the coup-de-grace. Someone tell us how Tim Tebow morphed into low-carb Jared Lorenzen in the span of a single offseason, and we’ll give you a dollar for your efforts. Holy fucking cowcunt, we just lost to Count Giggity in game four in classic Houston Nutt fashion: countless mistakes by the other team, outrageous high-school playcalling, a quarterback who goes 9/20 but throws nothing but backbreakers on those completions.
If your team’s undefeated right now, do us a favor: watch. your. fucking. ass. Oh, and if the game’s on the line, and you’re a bit skeevy on the idea of having your kicker try a 51 yarder, try something that doesn’t play into the obvious weaknesses of your team thus far and the other team’s strengths simultaneously.









51
chaimy4life says:
I am no longer listening to “Personal Jesus” when the Gators need a big play from Tebow. I jinxed it. My bad.
September 27th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
52
Signal to Noise says:
@47 – that’s a fucking frightening prospect and you know it.
I’m pulling for UGA tonight. Some semblance of order must be maintained.
September 27th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
53
John says:
Well, we’ve had our first batshit crazy, 2007-style weekend. TCU now has to beat Oklahoma to keep the momentum going.
September 27th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
54
BurritoBrosShits says:
LIBERTAD LIBERTAD LIBERTAD!!!!!
…oh wait woops, I meant: ANARCHY ANARCHY ANARCHY!!!!
September 27th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
55
Boy Howdy says:
@ skinnyphatman #47
Should the now-apparently-inevitable happen, I believe a temporary website name change to Every Day Should Be Vanderday would be in order.
September 27th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
56
austiger says:
That’s a lot of excuses, Orson. Your team sleepwalked into the game and you just got beat.
September 27th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
57
Orson Swindle says:
That’s a lot of excuses, Orson. Your team sleepwalked into the game and you just got beat.
Ur reedin’ comprehenshun izz AWZUM.
September 27th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
58
TheGhostofJayCutler says:
Replace the “fumbles ‘n’ fumbles” bit with “interceptions ‘n’ interceptions” and one can accurately describe Ole Miss’ losses to Wake and Vandy.
Turnovers almost always lead to a terribly frustrating loss.
I know how it feels Orson. I wanna say that I feel for ya, but the party’s just getting started.
September 27th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
59
HOSS says:
I love Vanderday! (Which is to say, a day on which Vandy does not have to play — thereby having the opportunity to fall apart in 27 different ways — and due to that fact alone stays at least in second in the SEC East.) Go ‘Bama!
September 27th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
60
dogtown gator says:
re: 15
We didn’t get Croom’d, we got Nutt’d.
re: #47. Strangely that makes me feel a lil better. Or it could be the beer. Switching from Gator Pale Ale to Vandy Stout. the GPA was flat anyways.
September 27th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
61
rebel84 says:
Well, we were due a game like that one. You were just the unfortunate victim. Did I mention that we turned the ball over 6 times last week against Vandy? We gave one away last week at home, and we got the turnover curse in reverse on the road this weekend. So now we’re even. You’ll have to wait until later this year to get your turnover curse game back.
September 27th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
62
chaimy4life says:
Why not the jump pass on 4th and 1? Is it really goal-line exclusive?
September 27th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
63
danisnottheman says:
i miss chris leak… in fact we need to hire him to replace mr dan ‘predictable’ mullen. oh how i miss the days of the first 15 plays of a game… (then it was painfully obvious when the 3rd quarter dan mullen took over)
http://firedanmullen.com
September 27th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
64
teabag says:
Boo fucking hoo….Fuck you, the University of Florida.
Suck on that shit…
And fuck you, Tim Tebow…
thx
Go Rebels
Wes Gray
Atlanta, GA
The University of Mississippi
Class of 2006
September 27th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
65
rydercup says:
Whoa!, dude.
way to show up.
Sincerely,
southern cal
September 27th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
66
michael mahoney says:
Of course, give OM no credit whatsoever.
Look, “Orson”, you run a cute little blog, but college ended a while ago. You looked patently ridiculous in those photos last week.
I am so, so glad you lost.
I await your vapid, childish reply(You were an English major, after all). Feel free to deliver it privately.
September 27th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
67
ghost of NC Past says:
come on, Ole Miss did more than it’s share to give you this game. Are we forgetting the 1st and 10 from the 15 of FL only to be like 4 and 30 from the 45 before the half. We looked about as bad as a team could ever even imagine yet the boys fought back. Don’t expect to get any credit but I will not believe for one second this game was gift wrapped.
September 27th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
68
sjs1959 says:
Well, I have a sneaking suspicion that Mr. Tebow is not going to repeat as Heisman winner….
September 27th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
69
TheMightyErik says:
My sincere apologies to you, Orson and Holly. As a PSU fan I am truly taking your advice, though. I will most likely be watching the rest of the season (those games not hijacked by the awesome BTN) under my covers in fear of bats and in dire need of golf shoes….
September 28th, 2008 at 12:49 am
70
spack says:
@55
Every Art Should Be Vandelay?
Is that what you said?
September 28th, 2008 at 2:33 am
71
Der Schatten says:
Like the stopped pocket watch of newly-dead Joseph Smith, mark your calendar because September 27th 2008 is the most sanguine we’ll ever see O about a loss. Especially one to Giggity.
September 28th, 2008 at 7:02 am
72
Spartisan says:
Could be worse, Florida fans. You could be Wake Forest fans trying to rationalize losing to an institution that not only has academic standards, but turns down prospects who are too big.
September 28th, 2008 at 7:32 am
73
blon says:
#3
Welcome to the Big 12 and Big 11 hell.
OU probably won’t be No. 1 because they haven’t “played anyone”, even though TCU’s defense was rated #1 or #2 overall. OU had some problems with the zone read and the running game, but that in no way took away from the overall good play of the defense. OU is a very good team, but let’s wait until Monday to see if anyone gives them credit.
I cannot believe I am going to post that last paragraph.
September 28th, 2008 at 9:32 am
74
chi town spieth says:
Dont worry I am sure the BCS will figure everything out!
September 28th, 2008 at 11:14 am
75
sjs1959 says:
1. OU
2. Bama
3. Penn State
4. never-ending string of teams that will eventually FAIL.
September 28th, 2008 at 11:18 am
76
Tony the Tiger says:
Eventually the “Urban Meyer is a genius” tag will have to be re-thought. Certainly he has done great things at Florida, but after watching the Auburn/Michigan/Ole Miss debacle, It is more of a team preparation issue than a play calling issue. Dan Mullen did not give up that many points to Ole Miss. Dan Mullen did not get his extra point blocked. Dan Mullen did not get his secondary shredded by a mediocre at best Michigan team last year. And surely Meyer could override and and all of Dan Mullen’s play calls if need be.
Just an honest observer, but the blame should fall squarely on Urban Meyer.
September 28th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
77
immikefazz says:
@75
Oh, great. Just what JoePa needs…a FIFTH season unbeaten and uncrowned. I’d rather see PSU lose the rest of their games than have that happen again…
September 28th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
78
David says:
I mean, Florida’s offense still put up 30(1) and it should’ve headed to overtime….Doesn’t Charlie Strong deserve just as much blame as Mullen/Meyer?
-not a florida fan
September 28th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
79
FisherSchoolWhat?!?! says:
Blame the playcalling all you want. I personally have never believed that having every play end up in either Percy Harvin’s hands or Tim Tebow’s hands was a legitamite strategum for victory, but stop before you get to the Tebow Left on the crucial 4th and 1. There is not other play better suited for the situation. What else would you call there? Yes, everyone knows it’s coming. That’s because everyone has seen it work hundreds of times, including earlier in that game. You want to say they should have tried for the field goal? I have no basis nor evidence for counterargument. But if your preference is to try to pick up the 5 feet between you and inevitable victory, don’t pretend there is any choice other than to let Tebow Tebow his way to victory and superman a first down. Given the line sucks, but do you think that encourages playaction, where the Tebow would have spent the first couple of seconds of onrushing confederate pretending that Kestahn Moore as a legitamite option, or dropping back and attempting to pass for the first down despite Louis Murphy’s lack of coordination during the duration of the contest, or maybe an option with Percy, because getting him the ball at the end of every play was clearly doing gangbusters so far (though, admittedly, this might be your most viable and best option)? Perhaps you do, but I can tell you that personally, if I absolutely must gain one yard or face death and damnation, there is no player I would rather call on, nor any play I would rather call on, than Tebow smashing his way to destiny through our receding O-line. If you can wait for the stinging to reside and your reason to return and still feel that this is not your best option, then I find your lack of faith extremely disturbing and encourage you to review any and all gametape you have of his illustrious and legendary college career while simultaneously evaluating your dedication and love of the team. In the end I believe you will derive the following two conclusions: 1 – Percy Harvin leading the team in receptions and carries is not a recipe for victory, and 2 – even Superman needs someone to catch the ball.
September 28th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
80
Thundersnatch says:
@72
Hey, Spartisan, the MIddies are smart, tough, disciplined, and well-coached. Some of them are even fast and athletic. Navy and Air Force have been to more bowl games in the last 5 years than your team and mine combined.
Losing to Navy or Air Force isn’t shameful. Losing to Army… well, okay, suicide should be contemplated. But “service academy = tha suck” hasn’t been true for decades, at least in football. I’d rather play Troy, WMU, or some other early-season-cannon-fodder-for-BCS-shool than Navy or Air Foce any day.
September 29th, 2008 at 8:29 am
81
oc phil says:
Wow, I really was working out in Bat Country this weekend (Barstow-Baker-Kelso) and came home to find my misery from Thursday night has been spread around. Looks to be another crazy year.
And #23 Stanford wont’ be a Pac 10 bottom feeder this year. They will probably end up closer to the top than the bottom (WSU, UCLA, UW).
September 29th, 2008 at 10:25 am
82
Freehawk says:
By request, the following is a transcript from the Florida locker room after their recent home loss to the team that lost at home to Wake Forest.
Meyer: Fellers, I’m not quite sure what to say. I guess I’d like to start out by saying I’m proud of each and every one of you, and I’d like to tell you that I’m really pleased with the effort I saw, the desire to win, and your total refusal to roll over and lose the game. I’d like to tell you that… but it’s all bull—-. The polish is off the turd. You —-ers are make me sick.
Spikes: Say what???
Meyer: Sorry, got caught up in a moment of brutal honesty, and, you know, honesty’s really not my thing. I’m generally at my best when I’m lying my sorry ass off to players. But this isn’t recruiting, so…
Tebow: Coach, I just want to apologize for not winning the game.
Meyer: Gee, Timmy, that’s really swell, but, uhhh, take a quick look around the room and tell me what you see.
Tebow: Well, uhhh, I guess lockers… some dirty towels… uhhh… oh, and showers. I like showers!
Meyer: Notice anything else?
Tebow: Hmmm… several guys wearing Tim Tebow outfits?
Meyer: Those are uniforms.
Tebow: Right, Tim Tebow “uniforms.”
Meyer: Timmy, those are your teammates.
Tebow: Teammates?
Meyer: Yes, other players on the team.
Tebow: Team?
Meyer: Yes, Timmy. A functional unit of people working together for a common goal.
Tebow: You mean, like, getting Tim Tebow into the end zone?
Meyer: Like getting Florida into the win column, which, by the way, is something we’ve never done when trailing in the second half since you’ve been at Florida.
Tebow: I’m (sniff) sorry, Coach. You’re right (sniff sniff) and you’re such an awesome guy. No one will work harder to make us win, especially since we’re better than everyone else and deserve to win (sob). I’ll work harder to score and to run and to awkwardly heave the ball downfield. I’ll will us to…
Meyer: Save it for your worshippers, Timmy.
Tebow: I’m sorry.
Meyer: Whatever. Can anybody tell me what it takes to make a champion?
Tartt: Biscuits and mustard?
Meyer: What?
Tartt: Maybe some o’ them French-fried ’taters?
Meyer: Jim, go outside and dig a hole.
Tartt leaves the lockerroom.
Meyer: Somebody do me a favor and lock the door behind him.
Tebow: I’m sorry I didn’t lock the door. I promise to work hard to dig a better hole.
Meyer: Don’t be ridiculous Timmy. How could you dig a bigger hole than a fumble on our own 18, giving us back-to-back turnovers on consecutive plays?
Tebow: I hadn’t really thought about it that way.
Meyer: We didn’t recruit you to think.
Cooper: Can I wash my hair now?
Meyer: Shut the —- up.
Pierre-Louis: At least it’s early in the season.
Meyer: What???
Pierre-Louis: It’s early in the season.
Meyer: (blink)
Pierre-Louis: I’m just sayin’… You know, it’s early in the season.
Meyer: (blink… blink blink)
Pierre-Louis: …so, you know, we still have time to…
Meyer: How are you even on this team?
Tebow: Team?
Meyer: Look, we just lost at home to Ole Miss. Ole Miss. And it’s not like there was a Manning at quarterback. It was that kid we told we were recruiting Tebow as a linebacker.
Doe: (chuckling) That was a good one!
Meyer: Shut the —- up.
Doe: Sorry.
Tebow: Hey, that’s my line.
Meyer: Hey. Shut… the —-… up.
Tebow and Doe: Sorry.
Meyer: Has it occurred to any of you how embarrassing this is for me?
Harvin: For you? How do you think we feel?
Meyer: I dunno. How did you feel when you put the tater on the carpet on our 34 on the second play of the second half?
Harvin: Hey, I had 186 yards of offense.
Meyer: Goody gumdrops.
Harvin: Did it occur to you to maybe give me the ball when we needed one lousy yard?
Meyer: Do I need to remind you that I’m your coach?
Harvin: Do I need to remind you what I did to an official in high school?
Meyer: Simmer down, Percy.
Harvin: Don’t make me break this bad foot off in your ass.
Meyer: Save your foot; we might need it for extra points.
Tebow: I promise (sob) to work harder on extra points.
Meyer: Timmy, you don’t kick.
Tebow: Why not?
Meyer: We leave that to the kicker.
Tebow: Kicker?
Meyer: He’s one of your teammates.
Tebow: Teammates?
Meyer: Ye gods.
Pouncey: What now?
Meyer: Now we go to Arkansas.
Other Pouncey: To play Houston Nutt?
Meyer: No, that was Houston Nutt that beat us today.
Pouncey: So who’s beating us next week?
Meyer: We’re not losing next week!
Other Pouncey: How do you know?
Tebow: I’m going to will this team to victory.
Meyer: Timmy…
Tebow: Yes?
Meyer: SHUT THE —- UP!
Tebow: Sorry.
Haden: You already said that.
Meyer: Holy —-. Do you realize that a mere 4 hours ago I was hailed as a genius? Now I have the same record as that school out west.
Rainey: FS…
Meyer: HEY! Don’t say it! You know I refuse to say or hear their name.
Rainey: Yeah, but we lost to an SEC team. They lost to Wake Forest.
Meyer: The SEC team that beat us lost to Wake Forest.
Rainey: Oh.
Meyer: Yeah.
Rainey: Dang, sometimes it’s not nice to be me.
Meyer: I know the feeling.
September 29th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
83
Kenny Stabler says:
Freehawk, that may be the funniest thing I’ve read on here since the John Krasinski, Megan Fox, Stu Scott, and the Silver Surfer bit…
(blink) beautiful.
October 1st, 2008 at 11:07 am