MARK RICHT LOSES STRUGGLE WITH CARPET FATIGUE
by Orson on Sep 25, 2008 11:21 AM EDT
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PrintMark Richt as a pitchman is a bit of a mixed bag in terms of execution. His best work probably appeared in the Michael Mann-esque slo-mo of his Ford truck commercials, a controversial piece of work given the deep, ongoing dirty war between Ford and Chevrolet factions in the deep South, and one for which he's undoubtedly suffered. ("I'm sorry, coach, but this is Chevy country, and if you listen hard enough you can hear Fords rusting at night. My son can't go to your school.")
His most moving and complicated work, though, was initially panned for what audiences saw as a mumbling, incoherent performance in "Carpets of Dalton 2: The Restapling."
Sometimes, the audience leads the artist; but in their best work, artists force the audience on a journey they might not want to take, a dark and intensely personal Dantean descent into a hell of their own making.
Clearly, thespian Richt has a mind to serve as your Virgil here, broaching the ninth circle of hell as we know it--carpet shopping--and tapping into the misery of a trapped soul with an emotional honesty too fiery and tinged with real sadness for most viewers to appreciate.
Richt spends most of the plot nodding and assenting to his wife, dragging her gently through the endless piles of samples, patronizingly examining the flooring she points out to him, nodding as she enthusiastically nails her lines about Carpets of Dalton's outstanding selection and convenience. She stands as an incandescent counterpoint to Richt's mumbling misery; Richt is a pre-breakdown Lester Burnham, pondering the void of his life behind the facade of the provider.
How do you know this is a quiet, plush American hell? The director tells you all you need to know in one chilling image juxtaposed with Kathryn Richt's chirpy dialogue:
Rattan furniture; or, as we think of it, the tacky home of the flabby, misshapen ass of your deep, undying sorrow. The image then morphs into the "happy" couple walking through the store, frittering away the days of their lives in one endless spasm of forced happiness and subtle consumer gluttony.
"To get me here in one spot...and get everything done in one place...that was a good idea." When Richt utters this line, the halting delivery and mumbling volume reach into the viewer's chest and arrest the heart. In an instant, you have become Richt, and Richt has become you. In thirty seconds of postmodern theatre, Mark Richt the actor has become Mark Richt the artist--and he's taking you to hell whether you want to go or not. We, like the readers of Dante's great Inferno, are that much richer for the flames.
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That ad really needed a shot of Knowshon leaping over an armoire or something. Still, Richt’s performance was Pacino in “Scent of a Woman” compared to Jim Donnan’s YellaWood ads; Donnan couldn’t have given off any more of a “gimme my fuckin’ check and get me out of here” vibe if he’d been wearing it on a T-shirt.
by Doug on Sep 25, 2008 11:40 AM EDT reply actions
Everybody sing along with me now: eight-hundred five eight eight, two three hundred, EMPIRE!
by beast in bama on Sep 25, 2008 11:44 AM EDT reply actions
Carpets of Dalton..a comfortable surface for stretching out upon whilst reading Sartre on a lazy summer day in a little town outside Kansas City, just as useful as a sturdy surface for honing your tai chi, and marvel at its ability to repel stains, should you have to kick a little ass from time to time…
by rjsplow on Sep 25, 2008 11:45 AM EDT reply actions
I was getting more of a Waiting for Godot vibe from this theatrical piece.
by ChasingMizzou on Sep 25, 2008 11:46 AM EDT reply actions
Doug – They all wish that they had the charisma/acting ability of SOS.
by hobeg8r on Sep 25, 2008 11:46 AM EDT reply actions
I refuse to recognize any Carpets of Dalton pitchman not named Don Sutton.
by selrodGT on Sep 25, 2008 11:48 AM EDT reply actions
I’ll never see this commercial on CSS the same way again…
by sandman227 on Sep 25, 2008 11:57 AM EDT reply actions
Knowshon’s doing back flips on the carpets to demonstrate their durability would be a plus.
#9: same.
by mb on Sep 25, 2008 12:01 PM EDT reply actions
This is about the endzone dance, isn’t it, Orson.
by NewsDawg32 on Sep 25, 2008 12:06 PM EDT reply actions
Mack Brown has done spots for Time Warner, a major sponsor of UT athletics, but at least he doesn’t degrade himself (and the University) by doing asinine commercials like the one above.
Georgia doesn’t pay enough to cover his bills?
by blon on Sep 25, 2008 12:16 PM EDT reply actions
blon,
Doing shitty local commercials is a time-honored tradition for SEC coaches. Degrading? Pshaw.
by Biggus Rickus on Sep 25, 2008 12:20 PM EDT reply actions
even the sabanator is hockin’ consumer goods
by gerry dorsey on Sep 25, 2008 12:21 PM EDT reply actions
Has anyone noticed the “The Yella Fella” is a shadow of his former self? I suspect offseason Gastric bypass surgery.
I’ll miss my wfe gasping “that poor HORSE!”
by Daywalker trailer park on Sep 25, 2008 12:21 PM EDT reply actions
@13 – BOOM!!!! You got us! Mark Richt is such an IDIOT!!
In all honesty, while this commercial is not amazing, I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as the Urban Meyer orange juice commercial or the Tuberville Golden Flake commercial. But, alas, I am biased.
by DoubleDawg05 on Sep 25, 2008 12:24 PM EDT reply actions
Coach is looking at Kathryn like he wants to chuck it all and “have a shag” back behind the berber stacks right then and there. Those two need to get a room…and stay in it.
by beast in bama on Sep 25, 2008 12:31 PM EDT reply actions
Orgeron’s Hummer commercial is still the gold standard.
by Bunkie Perkins on Sep 25, 2008 12:34 PM EDT reply actions
I don’t know much about Lester Burnham, but I betcha he ain’t man enough to cover Julio one on one !!
by BamaCPA on Sep 25, 2008 12:35 PM EDT reply actions
@17: That comment showed the fundamentals of hard work, preparation, and [pumps fist] THE WILL TO WIN
by Grimey on Sep 25, 2008 12:36 PM EDT reply actions
That extra place setting on the counter has to be for Dr. Lou, right?
by BDoc on Sep 25, 2008 12:39 PM EDT reply actions
Richt knows the importance of the carpet matching the draperies, if you know what I mean.
by Crabapple Buck on Sep 25, 2008 1:02 PM EDT reply actions
A Georgia piece without calling the fan base fat or racist?
Orson are you feeling ok?
by Ryno on Sep 25, 2008 1:11 PM EDT reply actions
If they wanted to sell more carpet they would do a close up of Richt walking on the carpet in his mandals.
by crane on Sep 25, 2008 1:14 PM EDT reply actions
How is Nick Saban’s Gray Suit Warehouse doing these days? Why isn’t he making commercials for it?
Fords suck. Now I have even more proof that they do. And I thought he didn’t have time for this shit.
by yoyofutbawl on Sep 25, 2008 1:21 PM EDT reply actions
re: #24
No need for Orson to pull out the racism card, John Saunders does a pretty good job of pulling that out on any number of schools.
by Geaux Irish on Sep 25, 2008 1:41 PM EDT reply actions
Perfectly portrayed…I felt like I was there! Carpet shopping=one step up the torture ladder from the James Caan character’s room in Misery.
by Because They Can on Sep 25, 2008 1:44 PM EDT reply actions
@20
I’m a Dawg fan, but +1.
Carpets of Dalton is about 4 miles down the road from my house. It’s siren song of quality flooring at reasonable prices haunts my dreams every night.
by Will on Sep 25, 2008 2:13 PM EDT reply actions
Richt cannot match the Spurrier “Yella Tail Gator” ad despite his best efforts…and to bring his wife into the morass is reprehensible. Wives shoud never be pulled into the scrum, no matter where it occurs. For shame…no really, for shame.
by sb on Sep 25, 2008 2:16 PM EDT reply actions
How long before Richt starts bitching that ESPN isn’t giving his commercial enough air time inbetween College Scoreboard Final segments?
by CincySooner on Sep 25, 2008 2:59 PM EDT reply actions
A tour de force. What commitment. I saw a smile filled with secrets at the end when he turns to his wife and says, “That was a good idea”—reminding her of the little bit of nooky on a secluded pillow top.
by jeongers on Sep 25, 2008 3:45 PM EDT reply actions
That stupid Urban Liar Meyer commercial for Crime Prevention Security Systems is the worst ! He looks like Corporal Boyle from Gomer Pyle
by GarrettDawg on Sep 25, 2008 4:16 PM EDT reply actions
I’m going to be Between the Hedges in a couple of days, so while the websense filters here at work prevent me from seeing the clip, I can still say with certainty that it’s great acting.
by OhioDawg on Sep 25, 2008 5:16 PM EDT reply actions
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