BUFFALO WINGS OF DESIRE: A PLAY IN SIX ACTS
You might wonder: how does an overeducated Volunteer fan feel about the game? How does “hallucinating in the key of Wim Wenders sound?” to you? If the answer is “too bizarre for digestion,” then read no further; if not, then please, venture into the dark caverns of Holly’s subconscious 24 hours prior to the Gators coming to Knoxville.

Sie sehen uns nicht. Sie chompen uns nicht.

CUTCLIFFE: Tell me, muse, of the storyteller who has been thrust to the edge of the world, both an infant and an ancient, and through him reveal everyman. I’m an old man with a broken voice, but the tale still rises from the depths, and the mouth, slightly opened, repeats it as clearly, as powerfully. A liturgy for which no one needs to be initiated to the meaning of words and sentences.

MAJORS: Are there still borders? More than ever! Every street has its borderline. Between each plot, there’s a strip of no-man’s-land disguised as a hedge or a ditch. Everyone carries his own state with him, and demands a toll when another wants to enter. The soul of today can only be conquered and governed by one who arrives at each small state with the password. So everyone migrates, and waves his one-man-state flag in all earthly directions.

FULMER: Sometimes I’m fed up with my spiritual existence. I’d like, at each step, each gust of wind, to be able to say “Now.” Now, and now, and no longer “forever” and “for eternity.”

MARTIN: To lie! Through one’s teeth. As you’re walking, to feel your bones moving along. At last to guess, instead of always knowing.
To be able, once in a while, to enthuse for evil. To draw all the demons of the earth from passers-by and to chase them out into the world.

MANNING: Stay alone! Let things happen! Keep serious! Do no more than look! Assemble, testify, preserve! Remain spirit! Keep your distance. Keep your word.

CROMPTON: Where are my heroes? Where are my own, the curious ones, the first, the original ones? Name me, muse, the immortal singer who, abandoned by those who listened to him, lost his voice. He who, from the angel of poetry that he was, became a poet, ignored or mocked outside on the threshold of no-man’s land.
Wait! I want to know everything.
You figure that out for yourself. That’s the fun of it.










1
WhiteSpeedReceiver says:
Ummm…Miss Holly? My head is full. May I go home?
September 19th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
2
Biggus Rickus says:
I feel lost and sad.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
3
Allahver Fist says:
I’d make me have to read that again.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
4
Darkknight says:
An overeducated Vol fan would be a middle schooler, right?
September 19th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
5
WhiteSpeedReceiver says:
“They chomp us not.”
Overeducated, indeed. My head still hurts, but I am thoroughly impressed.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
6
Air Chief Marshall Sir Hugh Dowding says:
Were anyone to have asked, I would have been able to advise regarding the risks of not taking the opportunity to shoot down airborne Germans at the first opportunity. First your cities are smoldering ruins, and then you are subjected to Teutonic melancholy in black and white.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
7
PBC Exile says:
As we speak, Urban Meyer is texting Damiel Cassiel, a promising tailback at Belle Glade Elementary School.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
8
gosouthgohard says:
To tailgate, and have cheap light beer – and if you do it together, it’s fantastic.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
9
BDoc says:
Johnathan Crompton as Homer? Maybe Homer Simpson.
And “overeducated”? We all know you liked(and understood)”City of Angels” much more.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
10
Tzubear says:
Hilarious.
Bravo!
September 19th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
11
Holly says:
We all know you liked(and understood)”City of Angels” much more.
THAT is the most hateful thing anyone’s said to me all week. Bravo.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
12
The Fake Gimel Martinez says:
Man, these Calvin Klein commercials keep getting weirder and weirder.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
13
Mr. Pelican Pants says:
I feel hungry and alone. At least Coach Cutt can be the only man in history to coach brothers who went on to win Superbowls in successive years. That will never happen again….ever…..and without winning the Heisman or beating Florida(just a guess, just making shit up)
September 19th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
14
skinnyphatman says:
Mmmmmm.. Buffalo Wings….
September 19th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
15
CincySooner says:
Phil Fulmer in a leotard…
weeps for innocence lost.
September 19th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
16
meatybob says:
@ Whitespeed
She even got the verb conjugation of “Chompen” correct, for far as imaginary regular verbs go. Impressive for a southern gal.
Funny how upper midwesterns are bound by the fact that we were the only ones who were actually taught German vs. Spanish and French in high school. Why you ask, it’s because we are all Nazis.
Oh wait, no politics, sorry.
September 19th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
17
furrer4heisman says:
So are you guys replacing Clawson with Peter Falk?
September 19th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
18
Brent Schaefer's jimmy legs says:
#12 – Eli Manning Beat Florida twice. And I still hate David Cutcliffe.
September 19th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
19
Holly says:
@meatybob—In my head, it actually conjugates like bringen: chompen, chompte, gechompt. Sounds better, no?
September 19th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
20
Vol says:
Holly, apparently we all prepare for this game in our own special ways. I, in contrast to you, drink a fifth of Jack Daniel’s before lunch. You say potato…
September 19th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
21
3rdgrade says:
nosmartinourfootballkthx
September 19th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
22
gosouthgohard says:
Möchtet ihr Chickenfingers chompen?
works for me…
September 19th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
23
Magic Hobo says:
Ich chompe, du chompst, er chompt, wir chompen.
Actually, I think I got away a couple times with tacking “-en” or “-ieren” to English verbs without actually knowing if they were proper words in German. I’m not sure whether I was a lucky guesser, or our teacher was just lazy.
September 19th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
24
Chips O'Toole says:
Germany language alert – the verb bringen actually conjugates as bringen, brang, gebracht.
September 19th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
25
Anon says:
Holly,
Manning looks upset. Is that because Woodson is sitting on the angel with bigger wings?
September 19th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
26
Chips O'Toole says:
uh yeah, I said “Germany” language.
entschuldigung.
September 19th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
27
Holly says:
That’s Tee Martin, nimrod. Like it says below the picture with him in it.
(Although that might still apply.)
September 19th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
28
Larry Langolier says:
Am I the only one who thought of the “Mr. Plow” Simpsons episode where Lisa asks Homer if that was his commercial and Homer replies, “I don’t know.”
September 19th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
29
blon says:
This is one of those times that I am so thankful I graduated from UT. The other UT.
September 19th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
30
PeteJayhawk says:
Der Himmel über Berlin und Universitätfußball: Diese sind einige meiner Lieblingssachen.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
31
Spurticus says:
Gesundheit
September 19th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
32
CoolPapaSweets says:
my head asplode…
September 19th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
33
sonofsamford says:
A few of those panels made me think I was looking at an Edward Gorey strip.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
34
trojanatyale says:
with the german and black and white photos i was really hoping for a work of expressionistic genius but alas no apocalypticism or new man. bah. nevertheless florida will gesamtkunstworkit at tenn
September 20th, 2008 at 10:58 am