RUDY CARPENTER: AN ATLAS OF PAIN
Rudy Carpenter lines up against Georgia this weekend, a matchup most people in Atlanta seem to think may result in Carpenter ending up as a thick reddish/yellow paste on the turf of Sun Devil Stadium. Consider, if you will, the concept we repeated in Hayes vs. Hall this week: that nothing can be done to Rudy Carpenter that has not happened to him already. He’s been benched, taunted by name by an entire defense, was sacked 57 times in the 2007 eason, has taken deathly shots from the Pac-10’s nastiest defenders, and was trampled by a herd of runaway moose as a child. All of this, and he still has 33 consecutive starts under his (hernia) belt.
If his history of playing through hasn’t impressed you yet…well, perhaps a helpful chart will.
(Illustration: Holly.)
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1
Sparrow says:
Anxious knee…
fantastic.
September 18th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
2
Darkknight says:
That might be true, be we (UGA) are currently looking under large rocks and couch coushins for a pass rush.
September 18th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
3
DC Trojan says:
Just a friendly observation to our Dawg brethren – you know how people have been saying “Well how seriously can we take USC, they got beaten by Stanford?” Lose to the team that lost to UNLV, and that kind of question can be yours to answer as well.
Have the Georgia defense turn Rudy Carpenter into a tent peg in the turf, and you have nothing to fear.
September 18th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
4
GamecockTony says:
The T-Zone isn’t what I think it is, right?
September 18th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
5
crane says:
If Rudy Carpenter truly is a zombie quarterback I don’t think the Georgia Football players will be afraid, after all we tailgate in cemeteries.
September 18th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
6
blon says:
Last year’s Holiday Bowl was one of the few times I really felt sorry for an opposing team’s QB.
September 18th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
7
beckett929 says:
Colt Brennan’s prediction for Carpenter this weekend… “PAAINN” [/Mr. T]
September 18th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
8
hlh says:
On a related note, I heard Emmanuel Moody has contracted hemorrhoids from sitting on the bench. Football is definitely a cruel game.
September 18th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
9
Jayhawkland says:
Holly, we are already saying that ASU will make it to the ‘08 Holiday? Wow, and to think that he could keep his eye if he just reads this site. Outstanding work.
September 18th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
10
CincySooner says:
Left off the chart of pain:
1) LAVA BURNS: sustained rescuing Dennis Erikson from volcano. Required skin grafts from a jakal with tuberculosis. (2006)
2) IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME: embarrasing condition rears its ugly head every time the words “empty set” are mentioned. (2005-Present)
3) PUNCTURED LUNG: Suffered when Oregon’s Nick Reed executed an imperfect Mola Ram Heart Removal.
September 18th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
11
CincySooner says:
Wow… I just did the math and Rudy Carpenter has suffered 117 sacks in his career.
One Hundred and Seventeen.
If he stays healthy (hah!!) and ASU makes it to a bowl, he is on pace for 148 sacks.
September 18th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
12
BURRRP says:
Obligatory YouTube link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LmuCg-Uvis
September 18th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
13
PW says:
Jayhawkland
That is one of my favorite things about this blog: the commenters don’t miss a thing. Holly probably spent a few hours finding the anatomy diagram, the Carpenter picture, and coming up with the jokes, but she makes the mistake of thinking the Holiday Bowl was on New Year’s Day (I assume) and that’s all you notice.
September 18th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
14
Jayhawkland says:
Easy, PW. I kid because I enjoy the work, no harm intended. For the record, Rudy is also missing three fingers on his left hand due to a gardening accident that he really doesn’t want to go into publicly.
/Spinal Tap’d
September 18th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
15
Albino Tornado says:
It’s Tennessee/Florida week, and all we’ve heard from Holly is this alleged picture. I can’t be the only wondering if Orson’s looking down at her in the well in his basement, shrieking imprecations about putting on the lotion or she’ll get the hose again.
September 18th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
16
Holly says:
@Albino Tornado: It’s like Swindle said this morning–Hate Week is a lot more fun when both sides have a shred of hope of fielding actual football teams. This is very much not the case this year. And y’all come here for funny, not emo, so I’m hushing up, kicking back and getting what giggles I can from the haterade in the threads.
September 18th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
17
Tom says:
Really? Is this serious? Rudy plays in the PACIFIC 10 Conference. Out there, if somebody wipes out on a surfboard he’s declared one tough brah. I’m not a fan of UGA, but Rudy only thinks he’s been hit previously. He will literally throw in the towel after facing an SEC defense. Malfunction, brah!
September 18th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
18
Not You says:
Aww, Holly… you guys aren’t completely eliminated… I mean, there’s always a chance!
I mean… well… uh… I suppose… Oh! There could be an orphanage fire on the way to the stadium, and Tebow hijacks the bus to rescue them, give them emergency circumcisions, and is diagnosed with severe psoriasis after the building collapses on his scalp, and the emergency shampooing causes him to be late for the game! Wait, crap, that leaves Harvin…
Never mind. Y’all fucked.
September 18th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
19
Not You says:
@17:
Hey now, USC has a real defense… Ain’t no way you’d catch me messing with Mualaga (Who you’ll see referenced in “Digestive” on the chart).
The rest of the PAC-10 though… yeah, pillow fight.
September 18th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
20
Holly says:
Oh, and I have no good explanation for the Holiday Bowl thing, other than the entire last week of December/first week of January being a liquor-y haze and me not bothering to look up its date. Carry on.
September 18th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
21
blon says:
I cannot believe Holly and Orson missed this…
From Rudy Carpenter’s bio in the ASU site:
Personal:…enjoys playing basketball and collecting shoes.
I did not make that up.
You have to like a guy that collects shoes. I’d take Rudy shopping with me any time. I’d probably have to push him around in a wheelchair.
September 18th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
22
hlh says:
@20
Holly, I can understand the mistake, as UT was playing in the “after new years” Outback Bowl. It’s understandable to think that the other UT was also in a prestigious “after new years” bowl. It happens. No big deal.
/XOXOXO to blon
September 18th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
23
Holly says:
Dude, you’re reaching there. Even for you. Which is saying something.
September 18th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
24
Echo from the Buttes says:
What about the broken pelvis he suffered while being tackled for stealing a coke from the student union?
http://www.echofromthebuttes.com/2008/09/18/rudy-carpenter-stealing-soda-from-the-memorial-union-chik-fil-a/
September 18th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
25
Janus09 says:
17 & 19
Oregon has the most underrated D in the nation.
And the best secondary in the nation.
/just sayin’
September 18th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
26
Rydercup says:
“Inside the sweatervest” info here:
Semi-insider info on tOSU football situation
——————————————————————————–
OK, first the background. I serve on the board of a non-profit organization, and another member of this board is a sort of big shot booster for OSU football.
I asked him if plans to play Pryor about half the time from this point forward is an indication that the program has raised the white flag for this season. I said further that, IMO, OSU’s best chance for winning games this season is to play the senior, and that any true freshman quarterback can be counted on to give away at least one game due to inexperience (OSU does play Wisconsin, MSU, Penn State, and Illinois this year in addition to Michigan). So, I figured that this decision to play Pryor this much means that NEXT year is the important one for OSU and that they’re willing to take their lumps this season, since the team’s major goal is now unattainable. Besides, I said, aren’t OSU’s major problems on offense more about the offensive line and not the quarterback? And I disagreed with that whole notion about pointing to next year already. Obviously OSU can clearly win all their Big 10 games with a conservative offense, and if they do that, and then beat the Pac 10’s 2nd place team in the Rose Bowl, they’ll STILL finish in the to three nationally by season’s end. And isn’t a fifth straight (or however many it’ll be) Big 10 title, a Rose Bowl win, and a top three national finish something to strive for?
OK, that’s what I said. Here was my friend’s reply.
He said that the players are quite upset, and it’s mostly with Tressel. The guys on offense (and Hartline was specifically mentioned) think that swapping quarterbacks in the middle of a drive killed their continuity. They definitely do not want a repeat of that revolving door system Cooper used in 1997, with Pryor becoming this year’s version of the Stanley Jackson “running quarterback.” Further, there’s a growing sentiment that Tressel’s button-down style just doesn’t work for Ohio State in the biggest games. The Michigan game from last year aside, OSU has faced three truly superior opponents in what were in effect national title games (Florida, Louisiana State, and Southern California). And each time, OSU has been essentially massacred by teams coached by emotional, fiery coaches who bring their teams to an emotional peak for big games. At Ohio State, Jim Tressel seems to instead try for a consistent, businesslike approach, where they play “well” each week. Sure, OSU has fewer losses to the Stanfords and Kentuckys of the world this way, but against a team with equal or even better talent, you need to be on a peak when you face opponents like that. Tressel, players are apparantly starting to think, doesn’t try much or at least doesn’t succeed in getting his guys to a fever pitch.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:22 am
27
tempebamafan says:
holy fucking shit!!!! was that a dead kennedys reference? Damn holly, you really are too goddamn cool for motherfucking school….
September 19th, 2008 at 3:32 am
28
SmoothJimmyApollo says:
He’s a starbellied sneetch, he sucks like a leech.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:03 am
29
Reality Check says:
Last time I checked, UGA is in Athens, Ga.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
30
Will... POWER! says:
29-
Yes, but no thoughts come out of Athens, GA.
September 19th, 2008 at 6:13 pm