AUBURN VS. MISSISSIPPI STATE: LIVE TO WIN

I still think we should have tried to steal home and send it into extra innings before throwing the interception on the long pass.

Cue the myopic B’ham news sportswriter and Tony Franklin:

“It’s scary how close we are,” Franklin said.

But Franklin isn’t going to take any chances. He’s going pro-active by not going by the book, or at least some fancy scripted playbook, which never seemed to be his style, anyway.

“I need to do a better job of going back to my feel and my instinct versus probably more game-planning,” Franklin said.

Did Auburn’s Center realize that he could actually push back once the ball was snapped? Or is it permissable for him to simply snap the ball and then obediently take the skull fucking from the DT lined up across from him procedure penalty or not? It became hard to tell which plays were blown dead by procedure penalties and which were live.

I had the sound off, but I can only imagine that montage was accompanied by “Never Say Die!” theme to Iron Eagle. Just the thought had me knodding my head.

And kids in 2nd grade in AL still don’t know what it’s like for Alabama to beat Auburn. Hey Dad why do we pull for Alabama again? Oh yeah Tradishun!

Comedy gold, right ‘ere. Now we just need "Now You’re a Man" by DVDA playing over a reel of Petrino’s “greatest” highlights.

SMQ actually suggested that Miss St should have punted instead of going for the 4th down conversion to attempt “the go-ahead safety at the end rather than actually trying to run offensive plays, which only ended in disaster.”

New Rule: any game that has that written about counts as a win for no one. I’m not even sure it should be a loss for anyone either—just strike it from the books and let’s all agree to never speak of it again.

If Uncle Verne were to have called this game, how would he stay relentlessly positive?

If I were a defensive player (for either team) – and knew that I had to attend classes with other students, I would have a t-shirt made that would read: “Don’t blame me – I play defense.” On second thought, if I were an offensive player, I would have the same t-shirt made – and lie about what position I played.

1. Prothro’s Good Leg is a perfect example of an AU fan. The post was done by a Gator fan..it was about a MSU game..and he still can’t help the tourette-like response. Come on, you guys played like shit. The system you have been pumping sunshine up everyone’s ass about sucks. But without fail, “6” is your comment. Thank you PGL, for showing the world the kind of shit that someone living in Alabama has to put up with..

THIS is the true comedy gold, “It’s scary how close we are.”

Close to what? That was FAIL on the Lehman Scale™

and, @ 9, no shit. No shit.

1. TJ

Considering the unlikelihood that MSU could have actually been the cause of their own points to be scored, I’m wondering if “go ahead safety” meant “go ahead try-to-draw-a-holding-penalty-in-the-endzone safety.”

Thank you Capstone. Ole Sly is going for 3 straight against The mighty TAHD this year. Your response exudes the pain from a bammer I was looking for. WDE!!! Say what you want it hurts doesn’t it?

6 cocktails to #9.

Before I saw the score and highlights (lowlights?), I was wondering why my super-Auburn-fan parents had so little to say about about the game on Saturday. Now…it’s obvious.

1 bazillion penalties and no chop blocks. What are the odds?

Damn fine punting though. Especially MSU’s. If precision punting can be appreciated, his were note worthy.

PGL,
No, not really. The last couple of years have be terrible for Alabama, and we know that. However, I will remind you that this is Tubs 10th year. He and Mike Dubuse are tied for SEC championships. Does that hurt? Also, it amuses me that a grown man would use the term “bammer”.

Last time the Gators beat Auburn Tim Tebow was in the 6th grade fending off advances from creepy Alabama and Florida fans.

Actually CTT is tied with in no particular order, Mike Dubose, Dennis Franchione, Mike Price, and Mike Shula with one SECC. Also bammer is as nice a term as I can come up with for your delusional fanbase. It’s Rollin baby!!!! 6 And Bama is back!! Again maybe?? Well at least SI thinks so.

They’re saving all the chop blocks for LSU this week. And Clemson if AU somehow manages to make it to the Peach Bowl. Who knows, your team might be the surprise recipient of one. Just depends on how generous and spontaneous the War Eagles are feeling.

Also, I bet Sabear would have loved a 3-2 win over any of the six teams he lost to last year including Sly and MIss St.

The guy blowing up the center got SEC DL of the week honors. So we got that going for us. Which is nice. Or the SEC is just patronizing us at this point.

This game deserved a Yakety Sax montage almost as much as Michigan-Notre Dame.

MSU should have punted, pinned AU deep and gone for the game-winning safety. That offense is offensive! Hey-yo!

“Mommm!!!! Toilet!!! Toilet!!!”

Actually what was the score of the recruiting national championship that bammer loves to claim from last year? Oh yeah they only keep score on the field. Good thing or LAMO would have never had a chance.

If LSU can win a national championship with losses to Arkansas and Kentucky, then AU can win one with a 3-2 victory.

AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!

Never thought I’d see a game that made Penn State’s 6-4 loss to Iowa in ’04 look like a scoring frenzy.

Twice the FG’s! Twice the safeties! Twice the fun!

I was there. No film can truly capture the total and compete horror of that game.

Actually neither can MSU’s “Jumbotron”, which is roughly the size of a 25" TV screen. Thank God they are apparently building a new one.

to Punt is to be victorious.

PGL,

What was the score of that national title game Auburn won in 2004?

Admittedly, I came in at the 4th quarter and after a few cocktails, but what I saw of the AU/MSU game was entertaining as hell. Sure, it was a cripple fight, but 3-2?!?! I’m glad I saw it.

Sss-shure, we’d love to pop some caps into some pp-ppp-p-punk ass bloods. Timmmmaeh.

Prothro, your happy place is waiting over at Rivals.com.

I just hope I can forget I ever heard that song as quickly as I can forget that game.

Hey Biggus we’ve got just as many BCSNC’s as you do.
Check it it’s the truth.

@34. That is a true statement. And, look on the superduper happy side…you’ve got that added People’s Championship to brag on (with eBay ring!). Or the 2003 co-West Champion rings?

Pitiful.

And LSU and Alabama fans everywhere are rejoicing.

Oh yeah, CapstoneAlum, “6” is so much worse than “got 12.”

And as far as what “someone living in Alabama has to put up with..”, you should realize why so many Auburn fans leave the state after graduation. We put up with much more from your toothless, demigod worshipping, back tattooing, houndstooth wearing, sixth grade educated, double naught spy fan base than you will ever recognize.

It must have been an Auburn grad that invented pay at the pump so we wouldn’t have to deal with your people after a fill up.

Ahhhh I love the smell of pissed off bammers in the morning. Also is Ryan Perryloo hiding under Les Miles hat?

It smells like a Rivals/Scout message board in here.

The video quality is almost as bad as the offensive performances were…
i can only hope that T2 has something serious up his sleeve for this weekend. Getting this much press for a 3-2 win is kinda funny and ironical, but a 1,837-0 loss to LSU on GameDay coverage would be slightly less entertaining.
But if Lee Corso puts on the AU Tiger headgear i may as well just pack up the RV and head back home at 11am this saturday…

PGL, please stop.

As disturbing AU’s epic offensive fail in Starkville was, I am comforted by the snickering of LSU and Bama fans in the days since. They have obviously fallen for Tubb’s “Verbal Kint” shtick. Remember, the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.

You have been warned.

@SpartanDan—Yakety Sax is played out, lawya. But there is a director’s cut.

Is there some kind of Godwin’s Law of SEC football that I don’t know about?

That as an SEC football discussion progresses, the probability of someone bringing up dental hygiene, SEC education, jorts, and/or Alabama’s mythical national championships becomes absolute?

@37 And as far as what “someone living in Alabama has to put up with..”, you should realize why so many Auburn fans leave the state after graduation.

We do know why you leave, its because no employer in alabama respects an Auburn degree, sorry.

bamalex07,
Actually an Auburn degree makes one overqualified for most of the major employers in Alabama. Try again.

Who didn’t expect this thread to turn into an Iron Bowl flame war?

Thanks for this video. Self-schadenfreude is the best kind of schadenfreude. This audio clip goes out to both Auburn and Miss St. after last Saturday’s game:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A

ironically, while it is impossible to ever win an Alabama/Auburn argument, all of the participants on this thread are putting forth just about as good a winning effort as Auburn and Miss St did on Saturday, which is why we’re all on this thread in the first place, to make fun of the weak showing, which is what you are….. oh forget it.

So Tuberville didn’t open up the playbook b/c he didn’t want LSU to see anything? Like a completed hand-off?

After reading PGL, at least we know where the Artist from OSU’s missing chromosome ended up.

Re: The Flame Wars between AU/ALA.

I liken myself to those individuals who brought a picnic lunch to watch the battle at Bull Run during the Civil War. It’s entertaining and frightening all at the same time.

@40 No worries of that. AU doesn’t let anyone but the Aubie mascot wear the Aubie head. Personally, I think that is hilarious. It’s like one big “fuck you” to ESPN and Corso. Besides, you’d never get that old man smell out of it.

Ahhh @50. I love it when I get under your bammer skin. Just like 6 and your headcoach’s record against CTT.

@51. My soul hurts.

@ Holly. But that video fixed it. It’s a salve for spirtual wounds.

War clusterfuck offense!

At least both teams scored.

I for one am a tad confused here… Orson seems to think highly of the game (total irony?) yet Holly deems it necessary to document only the flaws of the night

a highlight of the vicious hitting, velcro coverage, a couple of beautiful passes to the post, but mostly just violent brutal savage defensive play is all that should be remembered. All else is waste and fluffery

..oh yeah and some yellow flags that appeared to be jerked out of the refs’ pocket by someone with a big bet on the game

When it gets down to it, you could probably selectively edit most college football games and get something that looks pretty stinky.

Not to take away from the craptacular nature of 3-2, of course. Just emphasizing that the video was humorous, not representative.

You know what that video needed?

More Cowbell.

That game was so bad that, somewhere, a bald eagle shed a tear, in front of an American flag, on the back window of a 2500 Silverado. There were plenty to choose from…

Heartbeat, indeed.

Orson seems to think highly of the game (total irony?) yet Holly deems it necessary to document only the flaws of the night

I loved this game unreservedly, for the same reasons one of my favorite movies is She-Gods of Shark Reef.

I still maintain that this game was like watching inter-species erotica; disgusted and repulsed, I couldn’t look away.

Only 1 team really scored, Clyde. AU was responsible for all 5 points.

I will always cherish my ticket stub from that game.

One could live a hundred years and never see a game like that again.

My AU group was rolling with laughter more than horror by the 4th quarter.

Rumour has it Auburn actually gained 315 yards on offense. All I can say is that I’m thrilled I missed just about all of that but saw only the part airing during the USC/OSU halftime. As the scores scrolled on the bottom of the screen we kept seeing the 3—0 and wondering how horrible the game must be. When it became 3-2 our curiosity instantly went into the stratasphere

The part we did so was so abundantly full of glorious offenseive inaptitude as leave the fondest memories for decades to come.

Thanks for the video Orson. A wonderful souvenier.

McCorvey was shit at Bama and is shit with corn in it at STATE. I like Croom but he has got to fucking get rid of McCorvey and find someone who is capable running an offense around the talent he has, not the talent he thinks he has. FUCKING SHIT BALLS.

Blame it on the cowbells. Conditional reflexing at its best. The bells rang and Auburn’s offense became drooling zombies.

#60: Greatness

#64: Even worse – AU had 162 yards rushing.

#60: Greatness

#64: Even worse – AU had 162 yards rushing.

And to think, you usually get a 3 point home field advantage. MSU’s score was -1 after adjusting.

WarCardinals—100 cocktails to you for the “Price is Right” failure horn…classic…I am still laughing at that game…thanks for the clip, Orson.

How did everyone miss this one about bama fans?

“It must have been an Auburn grad that invented pay at the pump so we wouldn’t have to deal with your people after a fill up.”

That’s goeld right there