OSU-USC WARNING SIGNS
ESPN had this headline up for most of yesterday, and it bugged the hell out of me all day:

That’s just lazy, and maddeningly vague. There’s nineteen different ways this could’ve been more informative, and they went with a grand total of none of them. “Sealed for your protection”? “Detour ahead”? “Not to be used as a flotation device”?
We’re here to help, after the jump:




Further suggestions welcome below.









1
GamecockTony says:
Pete Carrol :
http://www.trafficsign.us/w17.html
September 12th, 2008 at 11:56 am
2
blon says:
Todd Boeckman, spokesman for Caste Football. (http://www.castefootball.us/)
September 12th, 2008 at 11:58 am
3
Holly says:
Holy…is that site for real? Wow. Just…wow.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
4
hlh says:
Brent Musberger……..Caustic substance
September 12th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
5
Geaux Irish says:
Terrelle Pryor:
http://www.signoutfitters.com/store/category_images/1%20Student%20Driver%20Car%20Top%20Signs.gif
Beanie Wells:
Caution: Flat Tire
http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd188/LIL_DIBI_111/Flat_tire.jpg
September 12th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
6
blon says:
Someone actually takes the time to put that stuff up on the web.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
7
Bobby Decatur says:
I’m suspecting that for a meathead, Maualuga has very little trouble with the ladies.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
8
Holly says:
The original photo of Rey is almost better.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
9
HeadThief says:
Holy cow. No love for Jacob Guitierrez there at all.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
10
Bobby Decatur says:
“I’m proficient in design and maintenance of response vehicle lighting systems such as light bars, beacons, and stationary lights. I have been known to do amazing things with Code 3 LP6100 beacons (such as placing two flashers and a rotator inside the dome), but recently have been very pleased with Federal Signal MagnaBeam oscillating lights, and I’m recommending those to people who need a high-performance compact light for rear or front coverage.”
It’s cognitively impossible to make shit like that up.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
11
OhioDawg says:
Induce Vomiting if Swallowed.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
12
WorstFan says:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3111/2850565667_bf889c445f_o.jpg
September 12th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
13
yoyofutbawl says:
Loooouuuu…Hazardous Waste Warning – Toxic gas discharge from oral area. Protective gear and P100 respirators must be worn.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
14
Allahver Fist says:
Stephen Garcia.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
15
WorstFan says:
So not so much a warning sign, but a fitting street sign none the less:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3037/2851429090_39a8d3c4a8_o.jpg
September 12th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
16
Saban has Laser Eyes says:
Are OSU and USC playing this weekend? Why are none of the sports networks talking about it?
September 12th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
17
shovel-pass says:
Worstfan…
damn, your good!
September 12th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
18
Dawg 05 says:
+1 Worstfan for “You Shall Not Pass”
September 12th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
19
Terry Tate, Office Linebacker says:
Pam Ward- May Cause Extreme Drowsiness
September 12th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
20
ChemE93 says:
Holly Rowe: Weight limit 10 tons
Jimmy Clausen: Two-way traffic
September 12th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
21
Holly says:
NICE, Terry.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
22
Allahver Fist says:
Bill Stewart.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
23
John says:
Here is the nightmare scenario:
USC crushes Ohio State, but loses a shootout against Oregon (who ends up 10-2) later in the season. The Trojans just miss the National Championship Game and they are out for blood.
Meanwhile, Ohio State pulls a series of close victories, 2002-style and go undefeated in the Big 10. This leads to a USC-Ohio State Rose Bowl and what will be Buckeyes’ second of three pantings by the Trojans in a one-year span.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
24
bj says:
picture of beanie wells going down with “undeterminate foot ailment”, plus caution, floor slippery when wet sign.
September 12th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
25
Holly says:
Ahllahver FTW. And Bill Stewart FTL, forever [bangs head on nearest flat surface].
September 12th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
26
Touchdown74 says:
Take your pick…Vince Young or Air Force Falcons- “No Passing Zone”
September 12th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
27
Allahver Fist says:
Ahhh, this shit’s fun.
Brandon James.
September 12th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
28
Mr. Pelican Pants says:
How can we not have this one on the field, especially for this game for tOSU?
SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY
September 12th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
29
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Or put this sign near the tOSU bench:
http://www.highwaytrafficsupply.com/images/regulatory_signs.html/r7-8.jpg
September 12th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
30
Allahver Fist says:
I should have stopped drinking at 1am this morning.
Mark Mangino.
September 12th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
31
Larry Langolier says:
Okay, someone beat me to “Slow Children at Play” but which team (conference) merits the universal choking sign used in restaurants?
September 12th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
32
Terry Tate, Office Linebacker says:
Mark Mangino
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v492/krazeangielala/xanga/pictures/do_not_feed.png
September 12th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
33
Terry Tate, Office Linebacker says:
Charlie Weiss:
http://www.martellssolutions.co.uk/ProductImages/132895.jpg
September 12th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
34
burgler says:
Ahllahver @30 –
Clap
…
Clap
…
Clap
…
Clap
…
September 12th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
35
Chris says:
speed bump!!!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/cbrock/Athk-Dr-Lous-thon-Thkip.jpg
September 12th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
36
yoyofutbawl says:
Allahaver-
Keep em coming. Bad ass thick foggy day in Blowing Rock.
September 12th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
37
Allahver Fist says:
Jake Locker.
September 12th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
38
Chris says:
Jet Fuel
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/cbrock/jet-fuel.jpg
September 12th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
39
Holly says:
You guys are making this day pass much quicker. Many thanks.
September 12th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
40
Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive says:
no real point, but found this while looking for something else- don’t ask how
http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a5/JorgeS4041/claussen.jpg
September 12th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
41
Allahver Fist says:
Jerrell Powe.
September 12th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
42
den-pie says:
USC Song Girls – “Slippery When Wet”
September 12th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
43
Larry Langolier says:
Try Googling “warning signs” and “cults” and see how many of the warning signs apply to certain colleges/coaches.
September 12th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
44
Because They Can says:
Jimmy Clausen: “DIP”
September 12th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
45
yoyfutbawl says:
Allahaver-
How about one for old times sake of THE ORGERON.
September 12th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
46
Allahver Fist says:
yoyofutbawl,
Ran out of signs and inspirations, but here’s the rest of the cutting room floor:
Da Coach O
BYU
Mississippi State
meh
I’m gonna burn in Hell
September 12th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
47
PCB says:
OK, it’s inevitable:
Nutcracker ahead!
September 12th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
48
EDSBS witty commentary says:
OSU sucks. Columbus sucks. Ohio sucks. Something, something mid-west. Something, something, slow. Something, something, DBs against Michigan. Blah, blah suck Moreno’s **** (because we have no chance). Yadda, yadda, our **** still doesn’t stink because blah, blah, blah.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:21 pm