ESPN had this headline up for most of yesterday, and it bugged the hell out of me all day:

That’s just lazy, and maddeningly vague.   There’s nineteen different ways this could’ve been more informative, and they went with a grand total of none of them.  “Sealed for your protection”?  “Detour ahead”?  “Not to be used as a flotation device”?

We’re here to help, after the jump:

Further suggestions welcome below.