BEANIE WELLS AND THE FOOT OF DOOM
Beanie Wells is now officially “doubtful” for the Ohio State game. You didn’t think the sound of a million Buckeye fans shitting themselves would be so near-melodic, did you, like the Tuba of Gabriel, did you? Well, it is:
Tressel said Thursday there was lingering soreness for Wells in his right foot after he worked out the night before. Wells did not practice with the team Thursday morning.
It’s healthy, and means you’re in touch with your feelings.
In addition to upping the point spread considerably, the lack of Wells OBVIOUS FOOTBALL POINT COMING means SERIOUSLY OBVIOUS the Buckeye run game will be considerably diminished, meaning USC will DURRRR-HURRR tee off on Todd Boeckman at will. It also means that, in more colorful terms, Rey Maualuga will be sitting just over a crouched offensive guard at the snap quietly murmuring “I come in peace, I didn’t bring artillery. But I am pleading with you with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I’ll kill you all.”
In summary: Beanie Wells’ foot doesn’t work, Rey Maualuga still frightens us, and Marines r kewl. That is all.
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51
TomReagan says:
I’m 80% sure that pic was taken after one of the bowl losses to Cackalacky.
September 11th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
52
SpartanDan says:
#47: I hope you were joking. No team that loses to Stanford should ever be in the title game if there’s another reasonable option. To the extent that “getting it right” is possible with the absolute mess that was the BCS last year, they did get it right – and I would have easily taken Oklahoma, Missouri, and maybe even Georgia or Kansas (in that order) over USC for the title game as well. (I’m not saying they would have beaten USC; I’m saying they deserved a chance more than USC did.)
Beanie will play. I think USC will probably win, but there’s no way it’s going to be by 45+. I’d be shocked if it’s 15+.
September 11th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
53
Brian says:
It’s simple. Yes, USC lost to Stanford, the only team to beat them in their house over the past 7 seasons (Twice, which is bizarre). However, they also stampeded the same Illinois team in the Rose Bowl that had beaten Ohio State two months prior. Don’t take too much stock in that Stanford game OSU, USC will win easily on Saturday.
It wasn’t that they lost JDB to a broken finger that they lost to the Cardinal, it was because they let him play too long when the finger was obviously affecting his throws. If Sanchez had played the whole game instead, I’m betting he would not have thrown 4 picks, and it’s not unreasonable to assume USC could have won with at least one fewer TO.
September 11th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
54
gary busey approves this message says:
It’s obvious why those Buckeyes are crying. Someone has stolen their moustaches.
September 11th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
55
oc phil says:
Pelican Pants: So if tOSU is minor league then what does that make every team that has lost more than 3 games in the past two years? And are you really claiming that losing in the championship game is worse than losing to say, Louisiana Monroe?
EiG: Sanchez will do fine. Yes he lost to Oregon last year, but Oregon, before Dixon got hurt and they folded, was IMO the best team in the country, Sanchez has also had a whole spring and fall camp (minus his injury time) to get comfortable in the starting QB role.
The reason USC fans are so happy with the Virginia game is not that the team beat a great opponent, it is how they looked doing it. Last year’s team played and beat Idaho, but they didn’t look anywhere near as smooth and polished as this years team, And while keeping USC out of the BCS game based on the fluke loss to Stanford was legit, I firmly believe the only teams capable of giving them a competitive game at the end of the year would have been LSU or Georgia.
September 11th, 2008 at 11:39 pm
56
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
This will be the USC version of “300″, only bloodier…..
Oh now Herbstreit says that USC is tired of hearing bout tOSU and the SEC…..fuck it I am gonna pull for tOSU…..If I am Laurenatisisists, and I should have been a millionare by now, and gotta go thru this shit again, SOMEBODY is gonna pay
September 12th, 2008 at 12:09 am
57
Should I give my real name? says:
I’m home from Paris. Guess what….. I want to see some heads get knocked the fuck off. The guillotine is for the French. I WANNA SEE MURDER!!!!
September 12th, 2008 at 1:16 am
58
pml says:
Worse yet, per ESPN, tOSU should be NUMBER 1 of they beat USC!!! Sure, little chance of that you say, but the loss will be blamed on The Foot so that a rematch can be called for in the BCSCG.
Jump 5 spots? Why bother for credibility as a network when you can toss out any and all BS you want?
September 12th, 2008 at 2:39 am
59
Not You says:
Considering the BCS championship game will most likely be the winner of the USCw – tOSU game versus the winner of the Cocktail party, cheer accordingly. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather tOSU not get spanked a third year in a row.
USC: Please, for the love of god, don’t choke.
Prediction: I think USC will win, but it will be narrow. I think Wells will play, but definitely won’t be 100%. I think OSU played poorly against Ohio because they were looking ahead to USC (Doubly so since USC had the bye week to prepare). I think the margin of victory will be within 14, and it will be under 50 points total.
Completely wild guess: 28 – 17
September 12th, 2008 at 4:36 am
60
sb says:
OSU gets Humanitarianed to the tune of three touchdowns…I simply have no faith in the shining star of the Big Televen after two bitch-slappings delivered by the ESS EEE CEE…whether or not Beanie plays. By the same token, here’s to hoping Stanford Junior Farm makes it a hat-trick.
I love to break a system and ruin expectations…
September 12th, 2008 at 8:43 am
61
D says:
The picture above is Orlas King, aka ‘The Neutron Man’.
As mentioned by previous responders, The Neutron Man was probably OSU’s first, original Super Fan. He went to games for decades and always did a ridiculous “Neutron Dance” when the OSU band played the song. It evolved into the band and the crowd acknowledging the dance, and became a centerpiece of the 3rd/4th quarter break in the 90s, eventually being highlighted on the video board.
King was a Columbus restaurant owner who made several sizeable donations to support the band, purchasing new uniforms and helping defer travel expenses for cross country road games.
This picture is from the 1998 MSU/OSU upset, when Nick Saban brought Sparty into the ‘Shoe and ruined OSU’s run at the national title.
King died a couple of years ago, and it was indeed front page news in Columbus. The following game, the OSUMB played the Neutron Dance for the last time before permanently retiring the song from band performances, with the video board showing King’s empty seat.
There wasn’t a dry eye in the ‘Shoe.
… the more you know!
September 12th, 2008 at 10:51 am