There is NO crying in football.

Here comes the boom?

Man, I bet that’s deflating for the WWL. Watch the buck-nuts keep it close anyhoo.

I’m going to need proof that Rey Rey is NOT an actual gargoyle who, at night, returns to his perch atop some old hotel downtown to slumber in stone.

Dear Jimmy T, aka Senator Tressel, aka Da Big Vest,

Alright Coach – I’m gonna level with you.
I paid $25 to get in a college fantasy football league this year and for the first time in all the years I’ve been playing fantasy anything – I had a top three pick, #2 to be precise.
I took Beanie thinking he’d have a tremendous year and it all started out so well. You were going to look down on that little laminated sheet you like to hold – cycle through all the hundreds of different variations of “run right” and “run left” you have down and pick the best one and I’d win lots of money.

Now…it’s kinda like you’re dicking around with me here. I understand he might be in a little pain and I think it was an ok move to hold him out against OU.

But seriously, I have to set my roster by midnight tonight. Make a fucking decision.

Ahhh, the wondrous sight of buckeyes in tears…after the harrassment I received (unsolicited, of course…my sole offense was wearing a Gator hat) walking from my rent-a-car to the stadium in ’07 there cannot be enough tears shed by the bucknut faithful.

However, I am sure with the ruts we will witness that OSU will unveil their very own version of the Criami Complaint due to Beanie’s inability to keep his toe from being trod upon by his foot.

Ohio State is playing USC this weekend? I hadn’t heard. Carolina or Southern Cal?

And for what it’s worth, Rey is Spanish for “king.” How appropriate.

Cryn’ Footballers Dept:

1. 1 Blon: No cryn’ in footbaw? Tell it to Urban Meyer who cried himself a river a while back.

Poor Woody State. I wonder which loss these guys are crying over – to [TEAM REDACTED] last year, to Florida (FB & BB, choose one), to LSD and, oh what the hell, to Wake in the soccer finals last year.

Plenty to choose from for the Buckeye faithful.

http://i380.photobucket.com/albums/oo244/that5pointohguy/poster71225705.jpg

Wait – wasn’t Wells fine in practice yesterday and asking for 45 carries against USC?

This is just another way to OSU to force its way into the NC debate in December – “Sure we lost to USC, but we were missing our Heisman candidate running back!” They will win out the rest of their pathetic remaining schedule and the forces that be will point to the numerous camera angles of Wells on the sidelines Saturday. Ask yourself: Has anyone even defined what Wells’ injury is? Turf toe? Sore foot? Whooping Cough? Something (as usual) stinks in the State of Ohio.

If anyone believes that Wells can’t play on Saturday, they miss the “NARRATIVE” aspect of college football. Plus, how this kid doesn’t play in the “biggest college game of the year,”if he can walk, is beyond me if he is a true competitor.

Wake in the soccer finals? I’m an OSU fan and didn’t even know WE were in the soccer finals. Homo.

I think that pictures been around forever, predating the UF game though it is possibly from that. No later for sure.

Do NOT start Beanie this weekend, if you have other options, he wasn’t going to run for 150 against USC unless he was 100%, and even then unlikely.

Does anyone remember the Oregon game last year? When Mark Sanchez couldn’t get out of his own way? I can’t believe the entire country is writing Ohio State off when they still have a killer defense and a possible X-factor in Pryor.

Since when did beating a shitty UVA team constitute being unbeatable? UVA proved last week that they are on roughly the same level as I-AA Richmond.

If I was in Vegas (and maybe it’s a good thing I’m not), I’d put a small fortune on Ohio State covering. This game has 21-17 or something similar written all over it.

@ sb: The ready made reason to put the 1 loss Buckeyes in Miami?

Welp, that’s ballgame. There was hope, infinitesimal though it was prior to this news. Now we’re stuck with a QB who’s thrown 2 TDs to his last 6 INT’s, a defense that shrivels up when it plays someone with equal or more talent, and an offensive line that does the same. Sure do hope the humanitarian takes it easy on us.

I’m actually concerned for Todd B’s health on Saturday. I hate Ohio State, but noone should get Marie Schivo-ed on national TV.

The Matador Dept:

#12: Edsall: Why the USC-Sanchez negative commentary? Don’t you remember that last year Sanchez beat notre dame 38-0.

Mark Sanchez threw 4 touchdown passes and led USC to their largest margin of victory in the 79-game serious series…(oh, I forgot how crappy notre dame was….
…nevermind….)

That picture always make me smile.

Sounds like good times in Columbia today:

I just came from the Russell house and witnessed a brawl, involving some of our football players. I didn’t recognize any of them, but I’ll just say that tables were overturned, and these guys were throwing hard punches, and nailing each other with chairs. They cordoned off that area of the russell house and seem to be treating it like a crime scene. I don’t know why it started, but they were seriously going at it.

17 – I think Sanchez is a very good QB but I think everyone is going crazy about one game against what has proven to be already a shitty team. Think about it…UVA is know 11 point dogs to UCONN on Saturday.

I just can’t see Tressel letting his team get destroyed. Especially with their defense and Tressel using the “they don’t respect us” card all week.

I tried to decide which is more amusing: the above picture, or the Oklahoma Kid (http://lastrow.files.wordpress.com/2006/10/agony-of-defeat.jpg), but I quickly realized it’s like comparing apples to hotdogs. I’d like to know what game the above picture comes from.

Tressel was playing the disrespect card for a month before the LSU game, we saw how that worked out: an angry team that committed a ton of stupid penalties and personal fouls. If he does it again, you’ll get the same result and a much more convincing win for SC.

#11:

I know you’re kidding, but the plausibility of that scenario just made my face ashen.

I don’t know if OSU will win the game, but is everyone predicting a blowout because of the Ohio game last week or because of the last 2 nat’l championship games?

I think OSU will hang in this game, but the absence on Beanie Wells will kill their running game. Both teams have some gamebreakers, maybe a blocked kick/punt or a return will decide it.

Or, maybe, USC wins by 41.

@mb

Michigan State, 1998. IIRC, OSU led MSU 24-7 going into the fourth quarter. The apocalypse ensued, and MSU scored three straight touchdowns and beat the #1 ranked Buckeyes in Columbus. This was before I was into football, and I haven’t researched it for obvious reasons.

12

Agreed on soccer being slightly lower than synchronized swimming on the interest scale.

However, Honey Pie’s son played for Wake & the HC’s wife is one of her best friends. She puts up with my crap and I have to watch 5-6 Wake soccer games every year in return.

That’s better than suffering through Chick Flicks, which she has never demaded. Yet.

26 – I choose chick flicks over soccer. At least chick flicks usually have hot chicks and can be made fun of in your head MST3K style.

Edsall-

Not hers. They are usually some Netflix delivered (based on her past preferences) Hollywood pseudo-Eurotrash devoid of succulent females.

I wonder if she even looks at them.

I’ll watch the whole game, because that is what a true fan does. But I am lowering expectations to whale shit on the bottom of the ocean.

I will say this – IF tOSU should pull off a win, it will be about time for everybody to STFU about how they haven’t earned their status at the top of the football food chain.

Wells will play on Saturday.

#11: I think the unofficial diagnosis is Vaginitis.

This is, if I am correct, a picture of Orlas King, aka, “the Neutron Man,” and a nice little footnote in football fandom. He was a Norm (from Cheers)-like man who did a VERY white dance to the OSU band playing the “Neutron Dance,” After some time, fans took notice, and eventually, the entire band started to turn around and play the song to him.

I’m as happy as anyone when OSU loses, and a band playing a silly song to a silly man doesn’t seem all that big of a deal. But I have to say that the notion that year after year, an entire stadium of 90K (and later more) would pay attention to a fan like that is fairly unique.

I recall his death being front page news (well, in the Dispatch anyways).

begin the half-mile long freight train of OSU excuse making. maybe they’ll run out of steam when SC wins by 30

It will not matter if he plays or not.

That pic looks like a very emotional rendition of the Irish drinkin song “Danny Boy”….da pipes!! ….the dude on the left…..I recognize him…….oh yeh,
I didnt realize that Ryan Seacrest was a tOSU fan!!!

So after this game, can tOSU go down to the MAC now and work their way up? Isnt there a Triple AAA version of college football to play in before taking on "talent’?
This game will look like the first 30 mins of “Saving Private Ryan” and tOSU is the Army, USC are the Germans in the pill boxes with machine guns……

They’re calling it the Collision in the Coliseum

tOSU is driving the moped – sober.
USC is coked up behind the wheel of an 18 wheeler doing 95.

That pic was in response to the guilty verdict of the Buckeye that was caught spanking his meat in a public library.

:note to self-when masturbating in public, do not wear school colors so as not to shame my team:

If I’m Tressell, I’m seriously thinking about giving Pryor the start at this point. I wouldn’t play him the whole game, just for two or three possessions because it is essential that Ohio State be the first to score.

Ohio State needs to put serious pressure on Sanchez and Boeckman can’t make any mistakes.

Ok, so the one in the middle is dead and the one on the left is Ryan Seacrest, then is that TAFtOSUb on the right?

Gee, I miss that guy.

USC is coked up behind the wheel of an 18 wheeler doing 95.

Or as we liked to call it back in the day, “Thursday.”

Daywalker,

urban dictionary has immortalized TAFKastOSUB.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=TAFKastOSUB

Mr.PP -

With your criteria, does that mean that Bama is in the Sun Belt Conference until furthur notice? What of Arkansas who absorbed a 70-something and 50-14 beating by USC? I think tOSU will be better than that even without Beanie. Careful about throwing stones shaped like boomerangs.

(Two Coaches meet at midfield before the big game to chit-chat)

The Humanitarian: “Sheesh, tough break not having Beanie today. Rey Rey was looking forward to a little quality competion .I was hoping Beanie would be healthy, I would have liked to have seen that battle….But now, he is more pissed off that he has to tee off on lesser men. He wants our D-line to let the O-linemen and fullbacks come on thru. Wants to make em FEEL IT!”

 Coach Tressel:“Are you telling me that all 11 of our men against your Rey Rey is a no-win situation for us?”

The Humanitarian: “You bring that many men, just remember one thing … a good supply of body bags.”

Coach Tressel: “Why Pete? Why do you recruit such
barbarians, and not gentlemen?”

The Humanitarian: “Look, we recruited assholes. I handled bad guys. But we don’t recruit people from the Little Sisters of the Poor …. thats your gig…what you dont realize is that you are dealing with a man who is an expert-with double teams, with chopblocks, with or without his helmet. A man who’s been trained to ignore pain, to ignore pleas for mercy. To live off of fear, and to eat things that would make Coach Mangino puke.”

NOTHING makes Mangino puke.

Crabapple,
All I can say is that when the spotlight shines the brightest, Bama always shows up. Although it has been,oh, 15 or so years between spotlights, we seem to be ready for big games, especially on National TV against supposedly superior opponents. I would say Clemson was not the opponent that the Miami team of 92 was, by along shot…. What I see is the coaching letdown. You guys have had more NFL talent wasted on the field the past 2 Natl Champ games, and I would venture to say the coaches and how they prepared were the main factors. You guys were beat before you got on the field.
Hell, as crummy as our team was last year, even we took LSU deep into the 4th quarter..before handing the game to them on their 5 yrd line…I think ya’ll lasted 2 quarters……tOSU is, without a doubt, the best First Half football team in the BCS ERA, hands down. Its the other 2 quarters when the wheels fall off. God be with you if you dont have Beanie. I would keep Terrell Pryor off the field to keep him from getting hurt. Its no place for kids, especially the future.Concussions hurt.
Hell, if I was Tressel, I would mimic the Texas-USC game play for play if I was gonna play TP.

after tOSU wins this game can we get all the comments in the blog bashing them for no reason to just read “STFU”? This has to be an option, right?

Fortunately PP, you aren’t the coach, so the game will be played. USC lost to Stanford, let me repeat that, STANFORD last year. That was with Stanford’s backup QB. So I think I will give us a slight chance given that our talent level is slightly better than Stanford’s. I will grant that our backup may be an upgrade, but he is still a freshman. It does bode well for our future though. BTW our losses lead to championships (football, not Fulmer Cup). Yours are memorable for other reasons (ULM cough, cough).

Umm, wouldn’t a stone shaped like a boomerang behave more like a stone and less like a boomerang? Or would it simply behave like a statue of Eddie Murphy?

I’m betting the Humanitarian pitches a shutout.
I’m betting real money they beat tOSU by 25+ points.
If Im right I’m richer, if I’m wrong then I got Tresselled.
The question isn’t if tOSU gets beat, and I’m just buying this stock based on past performances with better talent, its gonna be how much…..I got money that says the Humanitarian will make an example of tOSU to make a statement….that THEY should have been there last year……..HERE WE GO!!! 45-0!

Is the SubCommandant making the trip to LA?

I’m 80% sure that pic was taken after one of the bowl losses to Cackalacky.

#47: I hope you were joking. No team that loses to Stanford should ever be in the title game if there’s another reasonable option. To the extent that “getting it right” is possible with the absolute mess that was the BCS last year, they did get it right – and I would have easily taken Oklahoma, Missouri, and maybe even Georgia or Kansas (in that order) over USC for the title game as well. (I’m not saying they would have beaten USC; I’m saying they deserved a chance more than USC did.)

Beanie will play. I think USC will probably win, but there’s no way it’s going to be by 45+. I’d be shocked if it’s 15+.

It’s simple. Yes, USC lost to Stanford, the only team to beat them in their house over the past 7 seasons (Twice, which is bizarre). However, they also stampeded the same Illinois team in the Rose Bowl that had beaten Ohio State two months prior. Don’t take too much stock in that Stanford game OSU, USC will win easily on Saturday.

It wasn’t that they lost JDB to a broken finger that they lost to the Cardinal, it was because they let him play too long when the finger was obviously affecting his throws. If Sanchez had played the whole game instead, I’m betting he would not have thrown 4 picks, and it’s not unreasonable to assume USC could have won with at least one fewer TO.

It’s obvious why those Buckeyes are crying. Someone has stolen their moustaches.

Pelican Pants: So if tOSU is minor league then what does that make every team that has lost more than 3 games in the past two years? And are you really claiming that losing in the championship game is worse than losing to say, Louisiana Monroe?

EiG: Sanchez will do fine. Yes he lost to Oregon last year, but Oregon, before Dixon got hurt and they folded, was IMO the best team in the country, Sanchez has also had a whole spring and fall camp (minus his injury time) to get comfortable in the starting QB role.

The reason USC fans are so happy with the Virginia game is not that the team beat a great opponent, it is how they looked doing it. Last year’s team played and beat Idaho, but they didn’t look anywhere near as smooth and polished as this years team, And while keeping USC out of the BCS game based on the fluke loss to Stanford was legit, I firmly believe the only teams capable of giving them a competitive game at the end of the year would have been LSU or Georgia.

This will be the USC version of “300”, only bloodier…..

Oh now Herbstreit says that USC is tired of hearing bout tOSU and the SEC…..fuck it I am gonna pull for tOSU…..If I am Laurenatisisists, and I should have been a millionare by now, and gotta go thru this shit again, SOMEBODY is gonna pay

I’m home from Paris. Guess what….. I want to see some heads get knocked the fuck off. The guillotine is for the French. I WANNA SEE MURDER!!!!

Worse yet, per ESPN, tOSU should be NUMBER 1 of they beat USC!!! Sure, little chance of that you say, but the loss will be blamed on The Foot so that a rematch can be called for in the BCSCG.

Jump 5 spots? Why bother for credibility as a network when you can toss out any and all BS you want?

Considering the BCS championship game will most likely be the winner of the USCw – tOSU game versus the winner of the Cocktail party, cheer accordingly. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather tOSU not get spanked a third year in a row.

USC: Please, for the love of god, don’t choke.

Prediction: I think USC will win, but it will be narrow. I think Wells will play, but definitely won’t be 100%. I think OSU played poorly against Ohio because they were looking ahead to USC (Doubly so since USC had the bye week to prepare). I think the margin of victory will be within 14, and it will be under 50 points total.

Completely wild guess: 28 – 17

OSU gets Humanitarianed to the tune of three touchdowns…I simply have no faith in the shining star of the Big Televen after two bitch-slappings delivered by the ESS EEE CEE…whether or not Beanie plays. By the same token, here’s to hoping Stanford Junior Farm makes it a hat-trick.

I love to break a system and ruin expectations…

The picture above is Orlas King, aka ‘The Neutron Man’.

As mentioned by previous responders, The Neutron Man was probably OSU’s first, original Super Fan. He went to games for decades and always did a ridiculous “Neutron Dance” when the OSU band played the song. It evolved into the band and the crowd acknowledging the dance, and became a centerpiece of the 3rd/4th quarter break in the 90s, eventually being highlighted on the video board.

King was a Columbus restaurant owner who made several sizeable donations to support the band, purchasing new uniforms and helping defer travel expenses for cross country road games.

This picture is from the 1998 MSU/OSU upset, when Nick Saban brought Sparty into the ‘Shoe and ruined OSU’s run at the national title.

King died a couple of years ago, and it was indeed front page news in Columbus. The following game, the OSUMB played the Neutron Dance for the last time before permanently retiring the song from band performances, with the video board showing King’s empty seat.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the ’Shoe.

… the more you know!