CURIOUS INDEX, 9/10/08
by Orson on Sep 10, 2008 9:28 AM EDT
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Your forecast for the day: surreal. Yeah. Catlab. Ohio State versus USC. Just back away and make sure there aren't any sharp objects around, okay? We'll call that a pick for USC to cover in a landslide, metaphorically speaking. The L.A. Times goes fretting nelly with the USC offense, who believe Ohio State's defense will bring significant pressure on Mark Sanchez, who keeps the surrealist theme of day alive by suggesting that Virginia's defense allowed for medium-well offensive prowess all day long in their opener: "It was like we were grilling steaks back there," Sanchez said. Leading Pat Ruel to say this: "I'm not buying those steaks right now," Ruel joked. "It's got to be something you can microwave." Thus, the theme for Saturday: the Microwave Offense meets the Hot Pocket defense. The Subcomandante denies all association. But the Overlord and Chief Mage of the Republic of Uzbuckistan totally did this: About 20 minutes into a call with Carroll, someone who indentified himself as associated with a fake website asked Carroll in a garbled, if almost drunken, voice whether he rewarded his players by setting up dates with various Hollywood starlets. After asking several times for the imposter to clarify his question, Carroll, remarkably, answered it, explaining that matchmaking is not in his job description. At this point, with the conference moderator apparently asleep at the switch, the imposter asked a follow-up related to a brand-name product that shares a name with the Trojans. Carroll then decided he had better things to do and exited the call, but not before uttering something about Ohio State's role in the call, like "Good job, Ohio State." We would like to state for the record that this person, whoever they may be, is welcome to call EDSBS drunkenly anytime. The best image is imagining this person, whoever they are, hanging up the phone, giggling, and then resuming their dead-eyed staring match with the television in a darkened house in a lonely corner of Ohio. Ha! Ha. Crickets. Misery. You could try handing it off to him, you know. Emmanuel Moody remains on the bench at Florida despite the Gators' continued lack of a running back and some baffling personnel decisions by the Florida offensive coaching staff in the game. For instance, if Randy Shannon really wants to accuse Florida of running up the score, please see the red zone carry for Kestahn Moore late in the game. That's practically trying to give you the ball back, Coach Shannon! He really couldn't have done much more than that. The Gators' could try the novel thing and give Moody the ball. That seems to work in other places. Urban Meyer has vowed he will get more involved, and we will believe that when FREAKIN' KESTAHN MOORE ISN'T TAKING SNAPS IN THE FREAKIN' REDZONE WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT DAN MULLEN. Tommy Beecher: tanned, rested, ready. Stephen Garcia, according to Steve Spurrier, is still not ready to start. Tommy Beecher, though, is ready leap in there and get going whenever, coach, and stick balls into quadruple coverage with dignity and poise. UNT/LSU, to be played on the back of a semi roaring up I-55. No one's sure where UNT/LSU will be played on Saturday thanks to hurricane damage at Tiger Stadium. The Independence Bowl is ready when you are, baby. |
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Tigers versus the Mean Green in a “King of the Road” LIVE this Saturday exclusively on pay-per-view!
/Mean Jean’d
by Billy From Baton Rouge on Sep 10, 2008 9:44 AM EDT reply actions
RE: Emanuel Moody
You sound like Tommy from KSK there, Orson.
by That 5.0 Guy on Sep 10, 2008 9:44 AM EDT reply actions
Well, that was mildly disturbing.
Color me not surprised that Mullen went back to the Tebow-Harvin running game. Actual running backs combined for nine carries, so had Moody been given Moore’s carries the line would have been 3 carries for 8 yards, or something to that effect. Which would be an improvement on Moore’s 3 for -5.
by Biggus Rickus on Sep 10, 2008 9:49 AM EDT reply actions
Catlab is a gateway drug. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
by Digital Headbutt on Sep 10, 2008 9:56 AM EDT reply actions
@That 5.0 guy: WE FACKIN’ DESERVE A RUNNING BACK!!!
by Orson Swindle on Sep 10, 2008 10:01 AM EDT reply actions
Independence Bowl, in beautiful Shreveport, LA.
Maybe they could play on the deck of a Snagboat instead…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snagboat
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Miller_Shreve
by Brian on Sep 10, 2008 10:05 AM EDT reply actions
The Ohio State caller wasn’t drunk – he was just speaking very quietly to avoid upsetting other users in the library computer room.
by PSUrob on Sep 10, 2008 10:09 AM EDT reply actions
There’s also word coming down that the hurricane coming towards the Texas coast will postpone Arkansas vs. Texas game in Austin this weekend.
by Adam on Sep 10, 2008 10:11 AM EDT reply actions
Emanuel Moody = Something Special for Georgia
Shh, Orson, or you will ruin the surprise, surprise, surprise.
by Gen. Stoopnagle on Sep 10, 2008 10:12 AM EDT reply actions
#5
What we think we deserve in life and what we actually get are two radically different things.
by blon on Sep 10, 2008 10:12 AM EDT reply actions
I am shocked every time I hear someone in the MSM say that Dan Mullen is a candidate for a good head coaching job. Maybe he can recruit, and I guess if he’s head coaching he won’t be calling plays anymore, but am I the only one who is completely underwhelmed by this guy?
by PushJerk on Sep 10, 2008 10:16 AM EDT reply actions
#7
They think that Ike may be the worst hurricane to hit the Texas coast in 40 years. Both teams have open dates on the 27th so the game can be rescheduled easily.
by blon on Sep 10, 2008 10:17 AM EDT reply actions
I’m sure the Dr. Miles Freakout Train would be available for use if needed on Saturday.
Have a great day.
by dudis41 on Sep 10, 2008 10:28 AM EDT reply actions
The second they announce LSU/UNT will be in the Independence Bowl, I’m packing up and heading to Ellec for the weekend. The casinos are probably popping a collective woody.
by Petie on Sep 10, 2008 10:37 AM EDT reply actions
The Superdome is logically the best pick, but there’s a problem with the Tulane game being played at 2. Going to Texas Stadium kinda makes it a North Texas home game, so I’d go with the Independence Bowl.
by sparkyjbd@comcast.net on Sep 10, 2008 11:16 AM EDT reply actions
@10
I’m right there with you on Mullen. Then again, UF is his first job as OC. I know, I know – hard to believe…
Perhaps my prediction of Moody starting vs the vols will hold. Of course, I also saw him actually getting some real carries in the first two games so wtf do I know.
by NativeSon on Sep 10, 2008 11:30 AM EDT reply actions
Isn’t the Independence Bowl already Bama’s home away from home?
by NewAZTiger on Sep 10, 2008 12:25 PM EDT reply actions
I heard the call and am not convinced it came from Ohio. I am thinking UCLA. I only wished that he had asked about how much house $C can buy at a discount in a depressed market. WGAF about Britney Spears? Oh yeah, Mike Patrick!
by Crabapple Buck on Sep 10, 2008 12:46 PM EDT reply actions
Crabapple Buck – you’d have to ask the boosters and aspiring agents, SC is too busy stockpiling money in the Scrooge McDuck vault under Heritage Hall for legal fees.
by DC Trojan on Sep 10, 2008 2:01 PM EDT reply actions
RE: Moody, that’s Meyer-speak for, “He will never, ever see the light of day let alone touch a football against anyone not named Hawai’i.”
Of course, I could be way off there.
P.S. Warren Sapp has joined in the Himmicane Pity Party circa 2008. Really?
by DHC on Sep 10, 2008 6:55 PM EDT reply actions
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