ARE YOU WITH ME, DR. LOU?

by Orson on Sep 10, 2008 11:01 AM EDT

Lou, you tried. They gave you nothing, but you tried. You were stuck out there with a few props, a whistle, and a Starter cap, and you made magic happen. Now they've put you in a suit, forced you to commit a felony by impersonating a doctor, and robbed you of your opportunity to look your team--that team, by the way, being AMERICA--and pump us up for the hard week ahead.

Oh, you might have thought you were just talking about Notre Dame, or Nebraska, or whatever doomed team you were trying to hype into believing they could beat a far superior team. But in reality, Lou, we were all taking a knee and drinking it in like wide-eyed freshmen. Like them, for one fateful instant, we believed.

Now you're Dr. Lou...which forces us to sing songs of lament and instant nostalgia.

(HT: OPS and Holly on the Holtzfarks.)

God forbid you take a second off that spreadsheet, but if your boss is a Mark May-scale dick and won't let you take two minutes to watch a fine internet production, listen or download below. Boston Market has a great dinner special for $6.99.

MP3 File

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Comments

Oh dear God……
Lou’s head in a mushroom cloud has to be the next t-shirt. Only he can be the harbinger of a nuclear apocalypse.

by BurritoBrosShits on Sep 10, 2008 11:06 AM EDT reply actions

How much alcohol was involved in the production of this video?

by Kwaj on Sep 10, 2008 11:22 AM EDT reply actions

Bravo, you magnificent motherfuckers. Bra-fucking-vo.

by TJ on Sep 10, 2008 11:23 AM EDT reply actions

ROTFLMAO!

Fuck Palmer! Becker-Fagen-Hall has a nice ring to it.

by Steely Dan on Sep 10, 2008 11:33 AM EDT reply actions

Did anyone catch the montage of Lou’s pep talks they showed before the first game of the season? Quite possibly the greatest montage in the history of montages.

They probably had to cancel the pep talk segment because it was too awesome.

by Edsall is God on Sep 10, 2008 11:38 AM EDT reply actions

Seriously, don’t eat at Boston Market.
Their Mac and cheese may feature curly noodles – but the rest of their food is drenched in salt.

by Ryno on Sep 10, 2008 11:40 AM EDT reply actions

@6 – Re: Boston market: I wouldn’t recommend the locale by the oaks mall on newberry in Gainesville. Clean it is not.

As for the video of Dr. Lou… terrible. I’m sick of people putting these hacked up pieces of crap on youtube and people thinking they’re great. Are you kdding me??? FAIL.

by ALGator on Sep 10, 2008 12:18 PM EDT reply actions

I partially agree with AlGator, but the song is awesome.

by Biggus Rickus on Sep 10, 2008 12:24 PM EDT reply actions

ALGator—um, are you waiting for those really professional Youtube videos to appear? Because, you know, they’re gonna be there any day now. Yup. Any day now.

by Orson Swindle on Sep 10, 2008 12:25 PM EDT reply actions

This is quite possibly my new favorite song ever. The production value is off the charts. Did Phil Spector produce this?

Orson, what are your musical influences? This felt like Steely Dan crossed with Michael McDonald as sung by Carl Lewis.

by Trojan Jon on Sep 10, 2008 12:26 PM EDT reply actions

Orson,

The harmony really makes it.

ALGator can suck the Holtz-Cock. And loooooffe itf.

by The OtherOther Drew on Sep 10, 2008 12:37 PM EDT reply actions

That world class Steely Dan reference made me do a bong hit. You are a bad influence.
My bong’s name is Lido.

by kaiser on Sep 10, 2008 12:53 PM EDT reply actions

ur weerd

by TCOAN on Sep 10, 2008 1:00 PM EDT reply actions

tone down the anger, bleep a few invectives and this song is being played on ESPN this weekend

marvelous stuff, though..

thanks for the memories

by InsaneCoachPosse on Sep 10, 2008 1:04 PM EDT reply actions

Calling yourself a Dr. is a felony in most states? Blah! F’ing Nazis! THE PIGS ARE WALKING!!!

by dr. meatybob on Sep 10, 2008 1:20 PM EDT reply actions

Are you kidding me? Those took at LEAST seven minutes to throw together. Show some respect.

by Holly on Sep 10, 2008 1:41 PM EDT reply actions

Horrifyingly magnificent.

It’s the doubled-over Orson voice that makes it.

by The Great Barstoolio on Sep 10, 2008 2:34 PM EDT reply actions

@17: Maybe next time he should try to sing standing up.

Now I gotta go write my take for Rome tomorrow, if you’ll excuse me.

by Trojan Jon on Sep 10, 2008 2:57 PM EDT reply actions

He really is just a shadow of the man that we once knew.

by NRBQ on Sep 10, 2008 4:21 PM EDT reply actions

Okay, Lou Holtz is a dip shit. We get it. Now you’ve fucked up a perfectly good Steely Dan song, and I hope those guys find you in the middle of the night and beat your hands bloody in a back alley somewhere.

And as if the “Dr Wu” reference couldn’t be seen coming fifteen miles away.

How do you parody something so horrible as Lou Holtz? Badly, that’s how.

Can we just declare a “No Lou Holtz” cease fire? All you’re doing is making sure the sorry bastard stays on the air.

by corn blight on Sep 10, 2008 4:51 PM EDT reply actions