HE WANDERS LONELY AS A CLOUD
Knowshon! How you doing, kid? Feeling good? Thinking right?
Nah, coach. I feel…empty. Dissatisfied. Like all I do vanishes into thin air as soon as I do it, like my accomplishments mean nothing. Knowshon needs a spirit bear to wrestle. A reason for my gorgeous flight. Challenge.
I feel you. Running against inferior competition. You’re a champion, Knowshon. You crave more, right? Real challenge.
It’s like you can see in my heart, man, without cutting a hole in my chest, you know?
I gotcha. Just a second, Knowshon. I’ll be back with something for you.
Into his collar:Agent 38: enact Operation Greensleeves.
Signs passed out. Coupons awarded. Leaving scene.
Knowshon, look over there. What do those signs over there say? Can you read ‘em for me?
Coach, that’s a ways off, lemme fly Bring…bring…bring on…
Brah! They gave us free chicken sandwiches to hold these signs up! EPIC!
Ohhhhhhhhh, shit. Move out the way, sun. Knowshon just found his motherfucking spirit bear.
Attaboy. Glad to help, son. Glad to help.
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1
Holly says:
I think that I shall never see
A poem as lovely as SWEET WOUNDED JESUS HE CAN FLY
September 8th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
2
Bobby Decatur says:
I’ve been waiting for the EDSBS spin on this one since about, oh, 5:24 Saturday afternoon.
But this….this….THIS certainly exceeds even my most psychedelic hopes. 1000 cocktails at the U Joint on a sunny 70s Sunday, sir.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
3
Ground0EastLansing says:
The UGa housing department had no problem with Knowshon jumping into the stratosphere. He just knows better than to do a backflip this time.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
4
dajo9 says:
Knowhown is pretty good. So good, he’d probably be 3rd string at Cal.
Yes, that is a compliment.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
5
Sundawg says:
ESS EEE CEE SPEED (and levitation).
September 8th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
6
Ryno says:
That thing with the teeth he’s jumping over…is that from Steven King’s made for TV movie – The Langoliers?
September 8th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
7
Holly says:
FTW! I honestly thought no one would catch that.
Knowshon > Eaters of Worlds
September 8th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
8
Silver Britches says:
Oh, ASU. Why, oh why are you poking the bear with a stick?
September 8th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
9
Mackalicious says:
As I read this a pop-up box opened and Knowshon jumped over it right onto my desktop…the kid’s got talent.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
10
DC Trojan says:
Who in Tempe signed off on that promotion, Mikheil Saakashvili?
September 8th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
11
Bobby Decatur says:
#8, it’s very possible that those kids don’t know who, or where this “Georgia” is…..
September 8th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
12
Doug says:
Holy shit. That picture isn’t photoshopped? They were actually holding up those signs in Tempe? Oh goody. Nothing says “reasonable expectations” like a sign that can basically be interpreted as, “Beating Stanford clearly shows that we are ready to tangle with the #2 team in the nation!”
You tell Rudy Carpenter that Rennie Curran is gonna eat his family.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
13
zzgator says:
Sorry, but Percy gets more style points for leaping over the Buckeyes…in the national championship game.
http://media3.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/photo/2007/01/09/PH2007010900090.jpg
September 8th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
14
Jonathan says:
wow dajo9, just wow. You have a very high opinion of the #1 and #2 at Cal… that or you failed to watch those East coast games, was that because they were on too early for you?
West Coast Bias What What
September 8th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
15
zzgator says:
Not to mention our boy Ben Troupe…
http://www.oddjack.com/TROUPE.jpg
http://espn-att.starwave.com/media/ncf/2002/1102/photo/florida_i.jpg
TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUPE!
September 8th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
16
Bobby Decatur says:
Rudy’s spleen is already bleeding.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
17
poguemahone says:
ZZgator: That doesn’t count. There’s a difference between leaping over our defense assuming the position (again) for a good ol’fashioned Tebowne then leaping a standing defensive back after a 30-yard run.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
18
iknowshon says:
zzgator… if you were watching that 06 Nat’l Championship Game closely you would have seen what everyone in Athens did….
http://www.picoodle.com/view.php?img=/3/9/8/f_stadium01com_472f177.jpg&srv=img27
September 8th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
19
zzgator says:
Sorry…giant leaping moreno was not visible from where I was seated…inside the stadium.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
20
Holly says:
….because I was inverted.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
21
hlh says:
Did anyone read the interview where “evil” CMR threw ESPN and FOX “under the bus”? Another firestorm. The man is a genius, I tell ya!
Oh, and zzgator@13, that was more like “ass-stomping through a fog”.
/remembered Wordsworth from 30 years ago, but searches daily for misplaced sunglasses
September 8th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
22
The Ghost of Jay Cutler says:
Knowshon jumping over a Langolier? In-fucking-credible.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
23
TheClassyDawgvent says:
ZZGator,
you are all class. The gators are lucky to have you on their side. The benchmark for moral behavior and sane thoughts you are!
September 8th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
24
reidsvilledawg1968 says:
Didn’t know you guys played football on the west coast. Aren’t your guys busy with the pride marches?
September 8th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
25
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
EAT MOR CHIKIN!
You know, like Vandy.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
26
dajo9 says:
Well Jonathan,
Cal’s duo do have 499 rushing yards on 56 carries (8.9 average and 6 touchdowns). And those numbers are against. . . Wait for it. . . Wait for it SEC fans. . .
Actual BCS conference opposition.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
27
Chips O'Toole says:
Is Gummy Berry Juice on the NCAA’s list of banned substances?
September 8th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
28
ClydeB says:
#11
Given that its ASU, they very probably didn’t know where THEY were at the time.
September 8th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
29
yoyofutbawl says:
22
That’s no Langolier. That’s Mangino’s mouth (actual size).
September 8th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
30
GoalieLax (GoNavyBeatArmy) says:
nice langolier
i hate the ajc…only they could take such a play over central fucking michigan and turn it into a 3 picture storyboard linked on the front page of their website
September 8th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
31
Will (the other one) says:
@ dajo9
Oh wow, 56 carries and 6 TDs?
Knowshon hasn’t broken 30 carries yet and has 6 TDs all by his lonesome.
September 8th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
32
Jonathan says:
dajo9, just because they are BCS does not automatically = better, see Arkansas as an example. I would say that CMU and GSU would both thrash WSU. MSU I will give you was a good opponent.
My comment was pointing out your blatent homerism. It is ridiculous to say: “Knowhown is pretty good. So good, he’d probably be 3rd string at Cal. Yes, that is a compliment.”
In that case I will just go ahead and say that Tim Tebow is pretty good. So good he’d probably be 3rd string at USCw. Yes, that is a compliment.
Ugh why do I bother trying to point out idiocy to idiots, they won’t understand anyway.
September 8th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
33
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
Knowshon eats bears, dajo9. EATS BEARS.
September 8th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
34
dajo9 says:
Hey Jonathan,
I bet you know the names of the two Cal running backs now.
Get it yet?
September 8th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
35
Jonathan says:
dajo9, touché though I think you overestimate my memory
September 8th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
36
Jeff says:
Superb Top Gun reference Holly.
September 8th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
37
MightyMightyMitzu says:
daj09,
Kevin Riley, Cal’s QB, went 17 of 24 for 202 yards and 2 TDs, 70.8% completion, in a 7 point victory over Michigan State, BCS Competition.
Joe Craddock, fearless QB of the Mighty, Mighty Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders went 28 of 40 for 2 TDs, 70.0% completion, in a 10 point victory over…wait for it…wait for it…OMG MARYLAND BCS COMPETITION!!!!!
Yeah, Kevin Rileys good, GOOD ENOUGH TO MAYBE PLAY IN THE SUNBELT!!!! ROFFLE HOUSE!!11!1!!ONE!
September 8th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
38
MightyMightyMitzu says:
P.S. Craddock had 256 yards
September 8th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
39
Pat says:
Cal looks really, really good.
But Knowshon is a starter on any team thats not the Minnesota Vikings or the San Diego Chargers.
September 8th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
40
cscott says:
for oft when on my couch i lie
in vacant or in pensive mood
they flash upon the inward eye
which is the bliss of solitude
and then my heart with pleasure fills
and dances with the daffodils and bulldogs
who will spank the begezzus out of asu
September 8th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
41
Because They Can says:
Those yellow pants will come in handy the first time Rudy Carpenter sees wee Rennie Curran rapidly approaching with a purpose.
September 8th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
42
MaconDawg says:
Rennie Curran may actually be a langolier, Holly. If by “langolier” you mean “5′8 Liberian refugee who powercleans 400 pounds and arrives at the football angry, angry angry.”
September 8th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
43
Wiser Time says:
Wow. A Lamb Lies Down on Broadway reference. Well played, sir. Well played.
September 8th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
44
OhioDawg says:
I instinctively thought dajo9 wrote “USC,” not “Cal” in his first comment. Cal! Well said, dajo9; that WILL raise consciousness of West Coast football.
I was watching the game with a loud group that was half bulldogs and half haters and EVERYONE shut up the minute Knowshown left orbit. Unbelievable.
September 8th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
45
MorningBeer says:
Langolier? Hardly. It’s Lindsay Lohan’s crotch.
September 8th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
46
Larry Langolier says:
Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things
September 8th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
47
Big Jon says:
Closed on Sundays or not, Truett Cathy is evil for allowing such a promotion. Every sign looks like a coffin nail for Sparky.
September 9th, 2008 at 10:18 am
48
Josh Massey says:
Audrey II!
Oh, a Langolier. Well, that did have Bronson Pinchot in it…
September 9th, 2008 at 4:04 pm