Comments on: MIKE PATRICK’S CABINET OF WONDERS

By: WarCardinals

WarCardinals — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 20:35:00 +0000

As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable—until I realized it wasn’t a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!

By: chaimy4life

chaimy4life — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 18:13:43 +0000

the whole time i read this, the norm mcdonald doing larry king on SNL voice was in my head…

By: Brian O'Blivion

Brian O'Blivion — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:52:52 +0000

@24 yeah, the only thing missing from that was, Do you have a flaaaggg?

Maybe Foster will open his Philosophy store next to Costanza’s Jerk Store.

By: sandman227

sandman227 — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:47:27 +0000

And, by the way: I wasn’t sure if I was reading EDSBS, PJ O’Rourke from his (read:LSD) National Lampoon days, or an Eddie Izzard monologue.

By: sandman227

sandman227 — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:44:29 +0000

100 cocktails to PP breaking out the Smith’s lyrics

By: InsaneCoachPosse

InsaneCoachPosse — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:38:09 +0000

I checked, and what he meant to say is “he is a falafel major, and he will open a falafel store when he graduates”

every announcer makes a mistake every now and then

By: tennalaflaga

tennalaflaga — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:34:43 +0000

So, if a man speaks in the woods, and a woman is not there to hear it, is he still wrong? Just askin’.

By: Mr.Pelican Pants

Mr.Pelican Pants — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:33:04 +0000

How Soon is Now?

I am the son
and the heir
of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
of nothing in particular

Now that is some philosophication right hyah

By: Hunter Johnson

Hunter Johnson — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:26:13 +0000

You’re looking at now sir, everything that happens now is happening now. What happened to then? We passed it. When? Just now. We’re at now-now. Go back to then. When? Now. Now? Now! I can’t. Why? We missed it. When? Just now. When will then be now? …Soon

By: hlh

hlh — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:21:13 +0000

Contemporary Plato……….

Have you ever been so stoned that you crashed your car into a tree? Then did you get out of your car and see there wasn’t actually any damage from the accident�not so much as a scratch on your bumper? Then did you notice that there also wasn’t any tree? When you were finally able to calm down and get back in your car to drive away, were you embarrassed to realize that all along it was the air freshener hanging from your rearview mirror?

Me neither.

-Brian Beatty

By: Mr.Pelican Pants

Mr.Pelican Pants — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:18:07 +0000

Do you know that “if” is the middle word of Life?

That if you combine the words “now” and “here”, you could end up in Columbia, SC with your son coaching a football team and losing to Vandy twice in a row?

By: hlh

hlh — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:15:12 +0000

More deep thoughts…….

Money can’t buy you love. But it will pay for delicious glazed doughnuts that, with a little practice, you can learn to slide up and down a penis.

-Brian Beatty

By: Megatron Jones

Megatron Jones — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:09:54 +0000

I think this is the closest I’ll ever come to the hatchet induced brain breeze Carlin was talking about.

By: MCab

MCab — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:03:55 +0000

He and humanity advanced are going to open it together. It’ll be called “Rimz, Waffles, and Existenz.”

By: CincySooner

CincySooner — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:55:25 +0000

Wow Orson,

Bizzaro superman indeed…