SOUTH CAROLINA/VANDY: OPEN THREAD
Spurrier, hungry for…um…victory?
We begin our open thread with a question: if we were to do something ridiculous for charity involving college football–realistically–what would you pay money to see us do? Within family friendly standards?
Do your worst.










1
InsaneCoachPosse says:
obviously this most strenuous thing we could ask you (Orson, you are the “we” referred to here, yes?) to do is to go all weekend without watching CFB… and no radio cheating either
we wouldn’t ask you to do it on a critical weekend though… a man can only give so much
well, that or just watch only the games on CSS… no primetime for you
September 4th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
2
Joe says:
field a punt from the Florida Special teams and attempt a return.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
3
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Not Sarah Palin/Tina Fey Dept:
I’d pay money to have the EDSBS crew (Orson/TCOAN/Stranko & Cuddles) host Jenn Sterger to a Gator home footbaw game.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
4
Jonathan says:
Tackle Tebow, one on one.
Try to avoid Rennie Curran in the open field.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
5
Dr. Strange says:
Walk through the parking lot before a Florida home game, makinga full circuit in a garnet and gold t-shirt that reads “Tebow has AIDS”
September 4th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
6
teddy dupay says:
circumcision, live on the 50 yard-line. gameday crew providing play-by-play annalysis. the over/under action alone will float a non-profit for a year.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
7
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Get a Press Pass to a Nick Saban Press Conference in an Ian Rappaport Costume.
Pull out a poster size depth chart.
Ask Nick Saban when is he gonna fix the depth chart and why JPW keeps throwing to the Tight End instead of Julio Jones.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
8
Hunter Johnson says:
This is too easy… Wear a Vick Jersey this weekend
September 4th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
9
Matt Wright says:
Simple: co-announce a lower-tier Big 10 game with Pam Ward. And do it without chuckling inappropriately, scowling, or slapping your forehead in disgust once.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
10
Jeff says:
Dress up as USC songgirl and perform with them at a game. No matter how much make-up you use, I’m sure we’ll still be able to pick you out.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
11
Jason says:
Why does a school like South Carolina, with all their alumni support, play so many Thursday night games? Is there any real incentive in playing Thursday nights, given revenue distribution in the SEC? I’m really failing to grasp the appeal.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
12
PushJerk says:
Jenn Sterger will take the ‘Dores and the points, wants you to give credit to whomever took that picture of SpurDog, like, right now.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
13
Jason says:
Sorry for the previous thread jack, I’m still at work and need football to think straight.
To answer the question, I think Orson should challenge the real Orson Swindle to a Punt, Pass, and Kick Competition followed by a debate on Nuclear Proliferation.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
14
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Better yet, just get into a Nick Saban press conference, start some sort of ruckus,( like yelling outloud “WE ROLLIN BABY!!” “I’VE BEEN SABANIZED IN THE SABANADE!!! ITS A PROCESS, AND AUBURN CAN PROCESS THIS!!(grabbing crotch gingerly!) and we will pitch in $1000 for everytime you get Tazered, or hit, BY SABAN.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
15
kleph says:
run 26.2 miles
September 4th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
16
KLB says:
As a Gamecock, I think the logic is that it gets us off of JP / Raycom / LFS / whatever it is this week and on national TV. If you look at last week, USC / NSCU might have bumped UF / Hawaii, but it was going to have a tough time getting any real notice or a wide TV audience.
Tonight, the bigger problem for an exposure standpoint is going against the NFL and McCain, but I still think the same point can be raised – it gets the team on national TV when it likely wouldn’t be otherwise.
The actual answer to your question is SOS loves the exposure. Me? I just love it gets Erin Andrews on screen at a game I know I’ll be watching.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
17
Holly says:
Chest. Wax.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
18
John says:
Go to a strip club with Pac Man Jones.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
19
Biggus Rickus says:
Plimpton it out and go through a week of practice at QB sans non-contact jersey for a school of your choice (I’d go Div. III were I you). Extra cash for hazardous duty assignments like USC or NC State (more due to the OL than the DL).
September 4th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
20
Cubehead says:
Attempt to have sex while never looking away from a tape of the 1996 Fiesta Bowl.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
21
ChandlerPIrvin says:
Provide closed captioning for any ESPN segment featuring Lou Holtz without misspelling the words he was trying pronounce
September 4th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
22
SmoothJimmyAppollo says:
South Carolina knows they’ll get a national broadcast on a Thursday night. Also, because their stadium is maybe the only one in the SEC that is not on campus, they don’t have to shut down the school if they have a game during the week.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
23
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Simply be the scout team center for Alabama for a full contact practice head up with Terrance Cody and live to blog about it.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
24
Holly says:
I actually really like Jason’s idea about the Other Orson.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
25
gerry dorsey says:
hand wash magino’s dirty undies.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
26
gerry dorsey says:
or maybe “mangino”
September 4th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
27
Zook Line and Sinker says:
I’m guessing this has already been seen but….
“Navy: SEALs should not have been recognized at RNC
From From CNN Pentagon Correspondent Barbara Starr
WASHINGTON (CNN) — Two Navy SEALs attending the Republican National Convention were there in a private capacity only and should not have been publicly recognized during the event, a Navy spokesman told CNN Thursday.
The men were acknowledged from the podium at the Xcel Energy Center Wednesday evening by Orson Swindle, a former POW cellmate of Republican presidential candidate John McCain, who pointed them out and asked them to stand.”
Found this on CNN
Being a POW cool. Pointing out SEALS angers Ryan Perriloux who knows terrorists will be gunning for these guys now.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
28
gerry dorsey says:
how about the johnny knoxville style punt return??
September 4th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
29
formerlyanonymous says:
Whatever it is it should be forced to be sober…. a far worse fate.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
30
Jas says:
I’d like to see you mosh dive into a group of offensive linemen from all the SEC schools but Florida, and then tossed into a mud pit, with accuracy points for hitting a target to be determined.
One from each team would give you eleven big huskies to dive into — that should be enough to ensure your “safety.”
September 4th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
31
Graysnail says:
November 8. Durham, NC. Duke. NC State. And Orson in the booth, providing straight commentary with the ACC Raycom crew (because you know they’ll be on that game). No complaining about game quality, production quality, or fellow announcer quality.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
32
Whohah says:
@ #18, Biggus:
Absolutely. Orson — get some film of you practicing for a week with some D-I, D-IA, or D-II team and see how long you can hang. And then save the really funny stuff for writing on here or Sporting Blog.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
33
jamiedawg says:
EDSBS goes live in a hot tub with Uncle Verne and Mike Patrick…oh the good times.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
34
jamiedawg says:
who knew Vandy could run trick plays? And Captain Munnerlyn is one of the best names, ever.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
35
meg says:
Anybody else getting a bit sick at the really steep bird’s eye view cam angle?
September 4th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
36
G-Gun says:
Jesse Palmer bought his tie at the baby gap
September 4th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
37
Biggus Rickus says:
3rd and goal from the 20? Let’s go man and give them an easy fade route.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
38
Meg says:
I think it is true that very few SEC offenses will be worth a damn this year.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
39
offampus says:
Ahh, there’s the Vandy crowd I expected.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
40
BullGator says:
Take it prison style from ‘lil Red while not shedding a tear of pain or pure terror
September 4th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
41
Godfrey says:
Palmer’s “Boy oh Boy” count – 2.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
42
Biggus Rickus says:
Fuck, this Mrs. Spurrier shit is nauseating.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
43
Godfrey says:
Scott Spurrier – your Dad’s the coach and your Mom’s doing play by play from the stands. And you’re tall enough to be charged with returning the “one ring.” Hide behind the long snapper.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
44
Digital Headbutt says:
Chug a six-pack of Drank and watch a 90 minute magic act from the Great Loudini.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
45
Cubehead says:
So Mark May thinks losing to an apple-cheeked feathertaint like His Coachness ISN’T damaging to the SEC’s street cred? As an aside, Mark May, the Gumbels, and Ato Boldon of Olympic track commentating fame shoud decide once and for all who’s the least black of the group.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
46
Orson Swindle says:
Dr. Lou is totally wrong on the BCS/birth question. Induce early, and then watch the game at home.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
47
Adam says:
The actual Orson Swindle made an appearance at the Republican National Convention on McCain’s bio-video. Damn I love this website.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
48
Matthew says:
The actual Orson Swindle was in the John McCain promotional video at the RNC. Busy man.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
49
LSUMeathead says:
I just saw Orson Swindle at the RNC! I had no idea that Orson was a POW with John McCain. Fron Univ of Florida, to the Hanoi Hilton, to college football blogger. What a life story!
September 4th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
50
WarCardinals says:
I like how Mark May said it didn’t hurt the SEC when Tennessee lost becaue they were picked to finish 3rd or 4th in the East this year. The same Mark May who called UT a sleeper SEC East Champ and possibly a dark horse national championship contender.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:11 pm