Spurrier, hungry for…um…victory?
We begin our open thread with a question: if we were to do something ridiculous for charity involving college football–realistically–what would you pay money to see us do? Within family friendly standards?
Do your worst.
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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1
InsaneCoachPosse says:
obviously this most strenuous thing we could ask you (Orson, you are the “we” referred to here, yes?) to do is to go all weekend without watching CFB… and no radio cheating either
we wouldn’t ask you to do it on a critical weekend though… a man can only give so much
well, that or just watch only the games on CSS… no primetime for you
September 4th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
2
Joe says:
field a punt from the Florida Special teams and attempt a return.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
3
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Not Sarah Palin/Tina Fey Dept:
I’d pay money to have the EDSBS crew (Orson/TCOAN/Stranko & Cuddles) host Jenn Sterger to a Gator home footbaw game.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
4
Jonathan says:
Tackle Tebow, one on one.
Try to avoid Rennie Curran in the open field.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
5
Dr. Strange says:
Walk through the parking lot before a Florida home game, makinga full circuit in a garnet and gold t-shirt that reads “Tebow has AIDS”
September 4th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
6
teddy dupay says:
circumcision, live on the 50 yard-line. gameday crew providing play-by-play annalysis. the over/under action alone will float a non-profit for a year.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
7
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Get a Press Pass to a Nick Saban Press Conference in an Ian Rappaport Costume.
Pull out a poster size depth chart.
Ask Nick Saban when is he gonna fix the depth chart and why JPW keeps throwing to the Tight End instead of Julio Jones.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
8
Hunter Johnson says:
This is too easy… Wear a Vick Jersey this weekend
September 4th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
9
Matt Wright says:
Simple: co-announce a lower-tier Big 10 game with Pam Ward. And do it without chuckling inappropriately, scowling, or slapping your forehead in disgust once.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
10
Jeff says:
Dress up as USC songgirl and perform with them at a game. No matter how much make-up you use, I’m sure we’ll still be able to pick you out.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
11
Jason says:
Why does a school like South Carolina, with all their alumni support, play so many Thursday night games? Is there any real incentive in playing Thursday nights, given revenue distribution in the SEC? I’m really failing to grasp the appeal.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
12
PushJerk says:
Jenn Sterger will take the ‘Dores and the points, wants you to give credit to whomever took that picture of SpurDog, like, right now.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
13
Jason says:
Sorry for the previous thread jack, I’m still at work and need football to think straight.
To answer the question, I think Orson should challenge the real Orson Swindle to a Punt, Pass, and Kick Competition followed by a debate on Nuclear Proliferation.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
14
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Better yet, just get into a Nick Saban press conference, start some sort of ruckus,( like yelling outloud “WE ROLLIN BABY!!” “I’VE BEEN SABANIZED IN THE SABANADE!!! ITS A PROCESS, AND AUBURN CAN PROCESS THIS!!(grabbing crotch gingerly!) and we will pitch in $1000 for everytime you get Tazered, or hit, BY SABAN.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
15
kleph says:
run 26.2 miles
September 4th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
16
KLB says:
As a Gamecock, I think the logic is that it gets us off of JP / Raycom / LFS / whatever it is this week and on national TV. If you look at last week, USC / NSCU might have bumped UF / Hawaii, but it was going to have a tough time getting any real notice or a wide TV audience.
Tonight, the bigger problem for an exposure standpoint is going against the NFL and McCain, but I still think the same point can be raised – it gets the team on national TV when it likely wouldn’t be otherwise.
The actual answer to your question is SOS loves the exposure. Me? I just love it gets Erin Andrews on screen at a game I know I’ll be watching.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
17
Holly says:
Chest. Wax.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
18
John says:
Go to a strip club with Pac Man Jones.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
19
Biggus Rickus says:
Plimpton it out and go through a week of practice at QB sans non-contact jersey for a school of your choice (I’d go Div. III were I you). Extra cash for hazardous duty assignments like USC or NC State (more due to the OL than the DL).
September 4th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
20
Cubehead says:
Attempt to have sex while never looking away from a tape of the 1996 Fiesta Bowl.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
21
ChandlerPIrvin says:
Provide closed captioning for any ESPN segment featuring Lou Holtz without misspelling the words he was trying pronounce
September 4th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
22
SmoothJimmyAppollo says:
South Carolina knows they’ll get a national broadcast on a Thursday night. Also, because their stadium is maybe the only one in the SEC that is not on campus, they don’t have to shut down the school if they have a game during the week.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
23
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Simply be the scout team center for Alabama for a full contact practice head up with Terrance Cody and live to blog about it.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
24
Holly says:
I actually really like Jason’s idea about the Other Orson.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
25
gerry dorsey says:
hand wash magino’s dirty undies.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
26
gerry dorsey says:
or maybe “mangino”
September 4th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
27
Zook Line and Sinker says:
I’m guessing this has already been seen but….
“Navy: SEALs should not have been recognized at RNC
From From CNN Pentagon Correspondent Barbara Starr
WASHINGTON (CNN) — Two Navy SEALs attending the Republican National Convention were there in a private capacity only and should not have been publicly recognized during the event, a Navy spokesman told CNN Thursday.
The men were acknowledged from the podium at the Xcel Energy Center Wednesday evening by Orson Swindle, a former POW cellmate of Republican presidential candidate John McCain, who pointed them out and asked them to stand.”
Found this on CNN
Being a POW cool. Pointing out SEALS angers Ryan Perriloux who knows terrorists will be gunning for these guys now.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
28
gerry dorsey says:
how about the johnny knoxville style punt return??
September 4th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
29
formerlyanonymous says:
Whatever it is it should be forced to be sober…. a far worse fate.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
30
Jas says:
I’d like to see you mosh dive into a group of offensive linemen from all the SEC schools but Florida, and then tossed into a mud pit, with accuracy points for hitting a target to be determined.
One from each team would give you eleven big huskies to dive into — that should be enough to ensure your “safety.”
September 4th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
31
Graysnail says:
November 8. Durham, NC. Duke. NC State. And Orson in the booth, providing straight commentary with the ACC Raycom crew (because you know they’ll be on that game). No complaining about game quality, production quality, or fellow announcer quality.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
32
Whohah says:
@ #18, Biggus:
Absolutely. Orson — get some film of you practicing for a week with some D-I, D-IA, or D-II team and see how long you can hang. And then save the really funny stuff for writing on here or Sporting Blog.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
33
jamiedawg says:
EDSBS goes live in a hot tub with Uncle Verne and Mike Patrick…oh the good times.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
34
jamiedawg says:
who knew Vandy could run trick plays? And Captain Munnerlyn is one of the best names, ever.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
35
meg says:
Anybody else getting a bit sick at the really steep bird’s eye view cam angle?
September 4th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
36
G-Gun says:
Jesse Palmer bought his tie at the baby gap
September 4th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
37
Biggus Rickus says:
3rd and goal from the 20? Let’s go man and give them an easy fade route.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
38
Meg says:
I think it is true that very few SEC offenses will be worth a damn this year.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
39
offampus says:
Ahh, there’s the Vandy crowd I expected.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
40
BullGator says:
Take it prison style from ‘lil Red while not shedding a tear of pain or pure terror
September 4th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
41
Godfrey says:
Palmer’s “Boy oh Boy” count – 2.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
42
Biggus Rickus says:
Fuck, this Mrs. Spurrier shit is nauseating.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
43
Godfrey says:
Scott Spurrier – your Dad’s the coach and your Mom’s doing play by play from the stands. And you’re tall enough to be charged with returning the “one ring.” Hide behind the long snapper.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
44
Digital Headbutt says:
Chug a six-pack of Drank and watch a 90 minute magic act from the Great Loudini.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
45
Cubehead says:
So Mark May thinks losing to an apple-cheeked feathertaint like His Coachness ISN’T damaging to the SEC’s street cred? As an aside, Mark May, the Gumbels, and Ato Boldon of Olympic track commentating fame shoud decide once and for all who’s the least black of the group.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
46
Orson Swindle says:
Dr. Lou is totally wrong on the BCS/birth question. Induce early, and then watch the game at home.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
47
Adam says:
The actual Orson Swindle made an appearance at the Republican National Convention on McCain’s bio-video. Damn I love this website.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
48
Matthew says:
The actual Orson Swindle was in the John McCain promotional video at the RNC. Busy man.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
49
LSUMeathead says:
I just saw Orson Swindle at the RNC! I had no idea that Orson was a POW with John McCain. Fron Univ of Florida, to the Hanoi Hilton, to college football blogger. What a life story!
September 4th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
50
WarCardinals says:
I like how Mark May said it didn’t hurt the SEC when Tennessee lost becaue they were picked to finish 3rd or 4th in the East this year. The same Mark May who called UT a sleeper SEC East Champ and possibly a dark horse national championship contender.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
51
Godfrey says:
If you can’t step out of the delivery room for 10 minutes to watch your favorite SEC team win a national title against Ohio State in the first quarter, your wife just isn’t worth it.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
52
Rebellious ACLs says:
So I changed the channel during a commercial to the Republican National Convention, where they were running a retrospective of McCain’s life. I was bored to tears til they interviewed one of his fellow POWs, a dude named…Orson Swindle.
Please tell me I’m not late to the party and everyone already knows this. I’d hate to be “That Guy”.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
53
jamiedawg says:
Holy shit–Vanderbilt…part of me wants them to beat the OBC again but then they’ll be all pissed off and beat UGA…ah, the conflicts of college football.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
54
Digital Headbutt says:
No conflict for me…go Vandy!
September 4th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
55
Wild Bill McCluskey says:
I wasn’t going to drink ALL my beer tonight, but dammit, Vandy just made my night alot more interesting
Spurrier is turning into the Evander Holyfield of college football coaches….I’m just waiting for that asshat in Knoxville to take a chunk out of the OBC’s ear during a midfield handshake after SC beats Tennessee by 3 touchdowns….
September 4th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
56
jamiedawg says:
vandy’s QB came up limping…hmm
September 4th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
57
Orson Swindle says:
What the hell, reality?
September 4th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
58
The Humanitarian says:
The SEC is such an overrated pile of megalomaniac turds.
I swear, if Stanford was in the SEC they’d be ranked around 22nd in the country right now. If Oregon State was, they’d consistently be in the top 10, no matter what their record.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
59
tigercpa says:
If SC loses to Vandy 2 years in a row, they will be the laughing stock of the SEC…oh wait, nevermind….
September 4th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
60
Godfrey says:
There’s still time for Vandy to Vandy this up.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
61
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Damn.Vandy.Scoreboard.Gamecocks. Part II
September 4th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
62
Cock n' Chips says:
What have we done to deserve such a fate?
In other news, Vandy begins the Vandying… here’s hoping.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
63
jamiedawg says:
more USC asskissing…that shit gets old. I refuse to worship at the shrine of USC. And Vandy is about to Vandy this up…
September 4th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
64
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Hell tell Jr to just run the 2 min offense for the next 9 mins. And have Jr tell the Special Teams coach not to worry about getting on the bus…….That run was kinda Smelley
September 4th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
65
ClydeB says:
I believe in Bristol it is referred to as a Humanitarian Hand Job
September 4th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
66
jamiedawg says:
So Vandying this up…nice 3 and out.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
67
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
If Ga Tech players communicate in Binary, does Vandys players communicate in Latin….Oh well TD Gamecocks, the Hustle is back on for the OBC or the “ODB”, or is that the new nickname for Lou Holtz?
How in the fruck is Auburn number 9?
September 4th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
68
jamiedawg says:
Why is Auburn no.9? and God, Vandy’s coach looks old. Smelley sacked!
September 4th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
69
Biggus Rickus says:
Humanitarian,
Yes, because the eighth or ninth team in the conference beating the seventh team is damning. DAMNING, I say!
September 4th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
70
Dinknflicka says:
You vs. Dennis Erickson mano y mano in a game of golf-cart chicken over an active volcano
September 4th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
71
Mackalicious says:
AAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhHahahaHaHHAhAHHAHAAaHAHAa!!!!1!!one!!1!111
September 4th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
72
jamiedawg says:
Unfucking believable…seriously….
September 4th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
73
Magic Hobo says:
I hope Sir Spurrier enjoyed his stay in Columbia, because I think his days are now numbered.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
74
John says:
Everybody put Vandy in next week’s blogpoll. Like who else are you going to put in the 25 spot?
September 4th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
75
TPS Reports says:
Go Dores. I can’t believe it.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
76
The Humanitarian says:
Biggus Rickus,
Uhmmmmmmmmmm…… The point (grossly overrated conference) is ‘the seventh team’ being ranked 24th in the country (and they’re awful). It is damning.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
77
Mr.Pelican Pants says:
Damn Spurrier retires after this year after he fires his kid. Why punt on 4th down when you are losing deep in the 4th qtr? Looks like the Docs and Lawyers own the Cockvisors 2 yrs running. At least the SEC won this one.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
78
Dr. Strange says:
Pac-10 is 10-6 vs the SEC since 2000. Whereas the SEC is 1-6 at Pac-10 schools, the Pac-10 has gone 4-5 at SEC stadiums.Doesn’t mean that the SEC isn’t the best league, but certainly disproves the opinion held in much of the Confederacy that the Pac-10 is a joke league.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
79
GamecockTX says:
Excuse me while I bury myself in a drank and vodka cocktail.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
80
Dinknflicka says:
Climb aboard the Li’l Red Nightmare Express. Try to spend at least one quarter inside that suspendered, tractor-hatted, inflatable fright factory. Hopefully, the money earned will be enough to buy a backup flux capacitor for your return trip from the Paleolithic Era.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
81
Anonymous IV says:
Rebellious ACLs, since you mentioed it you now that guy. Since other people know about it n ow the will not be willing to come forth. It is alright what you did took guts. We have all been that guy. Except for me since I do not have a life.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
82
InsaneCoachPosse says:
ohmyfuckinggod…
I forgot the “we” is actually Spencer Hall
so …. the answer is…. go the rest of the Braves home games…. make sure and stick around for those 9th inning one run losses my friend
double dare ya, sucka
September 4th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
83
lola says:
i missed it. who is the only quarterback that spurrier has never benched? that bible beater from florida?
September 4th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
84
VandyDores04 says:
Orson, please please pick against us every game. I would award you a 100 cocktails but I drank them all watching that beautiful game.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
85
InsaneCoachPosse says:
sorry…got a little carried away with that last one… that was just damned mean
so…the best thing might be to walk around the tailgate area and dare the locals to perform for the camera in order to “get to appear on Gameday” or some such tripe…. you can probably get $1 for every person who can sing the alma mater, $5 for everyone who will sell their gameday shirt, and $10 for every set of co-ed boobs you get exposed
Gameday is in the Swamp this weekend — and drinking will lower the IQ and performance phobias to levels allowing amazing recorded incidents
September 4th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
86
InsaneCoachPosse says:
oh…forgot one more thing
it’s nice to know that anytime we need to get Holly out of a post-TN-loss funk all we have to do is ask for suggestions on ways to embarass or give pain to a FL Gator supporter
September 5th, 2008 at 12:10 am
87
Biggus Rickus says:
Humanitarian,
I’m not sure how a team sneaking into the top 25 for one week is a sign that a conference is overrated. I thought they looked pretty bad against NC State and wouldn’t have ranked them, but the Spurrier love seems to never die. On the other hand, beating a BCS opponent (sort of) 34-0 is about as good an accomplishment as any of the last ten or so teams in the poll managed the first week.
September 5th, 2008 at 5:18 am
88
MiseanAUFan says:
Why is Auburn #9?
We started 10th; Clemson lost last week. Do you think voters actually pay attention to Auburn/ULM? They knew we were going to win.
I will say I thought Burns actually looked OK, definitely throwing better than last year- he just didn’t get any help from his receivers and boundary lines (missed TD by a couple of inches, but throw was spectacular otherwise). Todd scared me a few times (passes thrown right to defenders).
Damn, I love ESPN360.com- PPV games for free!
I wish we were playing the Cocks and not the Dores this year!
September 5th, 2008 at 6:08 am
89
Because They Can says:
“On the other hand, beating a BCS opponent (sort of) 34-0 is about as good an accomplishment as any of the last ten or so teams in the poll managed the first week.”
And not very different from the other USC’s feat (which propelled them to #1).
September 5th, 2008 at 7:23 am
90
Tricky Dick says:
Interview Ron Zook for charity! At the end of said interview tell him you miss him as your coach and kiss him on the cheek!
For that I would gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger today!
September 5th, 2008 at 7:26 am
91
Biggus Rickus says:
BTC,
In fairness, USCw actually looked impressive in dismantling their semi-BCS team. But basing an opinion of a team on one week is kind of dumb. Unless they do something really horrible like lose to Arkansas State or La. Tech.
September 5th, 2008 at 8:07 am
92
Because They Can says:
Agreed Biggus- I guess the hype has to come from somewhere. But the amount of love USCw is getting for pounding a bad UVA team that was wetting their collective diaper in the first quarter (in front of a crowd that acted like they were visiting the local morgue) is….well….typical, actually.
September 5th, 2008 at 8:44 am
93
DC Trojan says:
Because they can @ 92 – I have to say, the UVA fans were very pleasant, but very subdued. Actually, when people started leaving during the third quarter, I felt like I was back in the Coliseum – except the locals were going to tailgate a bit more, not beat traffic.
As for the love, beats the hell out of me. I mean, one game with a moderately mobile QB who can actually get out of the pocket to throw a long pass doesn’t mean that much.
September 5th, 2008 at 11:22 am
94
UgasTexan says:
Dr. Strange:
And that’s nice and all. The Pac-10 outside of SC is 6-6. I think that still makes your point, however it’s worth pointing out the Trojan coattail riding the stats encourage.
I, for one, care less. SEC blah blah blah. I’m looking forward to traveling to AZ in a couple of weeks and watching a good game. I expect my team (regardless of conference affiliation) will win – but who knows? Funny shit happens in CFB. I’m sort of thankful that we’re not going all the way to California.
And Georgia fans are well-familiar with quoting win-loss records over an arbitrary time frame to make a “point.” Would you believe it? Georgia is 2-2 vs UF over the last 4 years!
September 5th, 2008 at 11:56 am
95
Brian O'Blivion says:
what would you pay money to see us do?
I’ll pay cash money if you make the comment threads default to “Show All”.
September 5th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
96
DC Trojan says:
I’ll pay cash money if you make the comment threads default to “Show All”.
I second that.
September 5th, 2008 at 4:45 pm