TAILGATING IN JUAREZ IS FESTIVE AND MURDERISH
Probably want to skip “Drink and Drown” this year.School officials from both NMSU and UTEP have issued warnings against going across the border from El Paso to the ever more charming city of Juarez, Mexico, where any gameday tailgating may inclue authentic Mexican cuisine (love those simple corn tortillas and green salsa!), the purchase of high grade pharmaceuticals from any number of cross-border pharmacies (ay, papi, love that percocet!) and perhaps being killed where you stand for no reason.
The travel warnings come as government officials and residents are asking the Mexican federal government to do more to stop a wave of killings across the state of Chihuahua believed to be linked to a raging drug cartel war.
More than 850 homicides have occurred in Juárez so far this year, including four killed in a shootout Wednesday afternoon and four men killed execution-style late Tuesday when they were handcuffed to each other, lined up and shot.
Students from both schools have traditionally gone over to Juarez to participate in “Drink and Drown,” which in the best of years sounds like a recipe for blanked memories covering Grand Guignol horrors and transactions involving STDs, stolen credit cards, and weapons with the serial numbers filed off them.
Throw in a city in the spasms of open public executions by drug gangs, and this is probably a very, very good year to skip this whole thing. Unless you’re stupid, and by all means, stupid finds its own level, meaning we couldn’t stop you if we wanted to, brah. Go ahead and tape three hundred dollars to yourself and walk across the bridge like William T. Vollmann on holiday. When a pit bull is chasing you across the river on your drunken, bleeding swim back to America, don’t say we didn’t warn you.









1
Crabapple Buck says:
That is a Detroit-like pace for murders. That must be what happens when you move auto manufacturing facilities there. Makes the mean streets of Atlanta seem friendly.
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:05 pm
2
One And Done says:
Ravel warnings! We don’ need no steenking travel warnings!
#1,
Detroit’s murder rate, that’s “new” money.
New Orleans’ & New York’s murder rate is “old” money.
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm
3
GamecockTony says:
“the purchase of high grade pharmaceuticals” and “being killed where you stand for no reason.”
Are you sure they aren’t talking about Columbus?
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:17 pm
4
Ryno says:
I thought they just wanted a chance to come here to work and experience the American dream?
Nodoby told me about the drugs!!!!11
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
5
TCOAN says:
I don’t think putting up a picture of a corpse on a college football blog to illustrate a point is 1) appropriate or 2) respectful of the dead.
Why not just use a pinata? Those fuckers are plenty scary.
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:34 pm
6
poguemahone says:
# 3 – Columbus, GA or OH?
If OH, we always have reason to kill people where they stand. There’s an extensive checklist we go through before wanton murder:
1. Not wearing OSU gear.
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:37 pm
7
BurritoBrosShits says:
Southeast Asia is not impressed…
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:37 pm
8
spartymike says:
That is a city the size of Phoenix, Philly, or San Antonio. Philadelphia, the worst of those three (murder wise), had 406 murders in 2006.
Eight fiddy by September, and we’re talking GTA: Juarez levels of violence.
So, #1….you’re correct. Detroit-level is accurate.
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
9
Orson Swindle says:
RockStar is far too tasteful to make GTA: Juarez, right? Right?
We’ll just go ahead and reserve our copy now.
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:40 pm
10
WhiteSpeedReceiver says:
The times they are a changin.
I remember going into Juarez after the ‘99 Sun Bowl to wait for the end of days. Imagine my surprise when I woke up on 1/1/00 with the hangover to end all hangovers, a donkey, 22 year old mexican twins, and 17 previously undiscovered STDs.
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
11
Harris says:
Dammit, now where am I supposed to wear this authentic Mexican sombrero I got at Don Pablos?
Second, I think the easy availability of “high-grade pharmaceuticals” pretty much makes a lie out of “killed for no reason.”
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
12
The Great Barstoolio says:
“sounds like a recipe for blanked memories covering Grand Guignol horrors and transactions involving STDs, stolen credit cards, and weapons with the serial numbers filed off them.”
Actually, that sounds like Gainesville. HAPPY HATE WEEK!
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:58 pm
13
Biggus Rickus says:
This story takes me back to growing up on the mean streets of Ponte Vedra, FL. The Winn Dixie-Publix turf wars were a constant threat to all of us.
September 2nd, 2008 at 3:05 pm
14
HeadThief says:
Mack Brown is now torn between suspending Lamarr Houston for the UT-El Paso game and taking him.
September 2nd, 2008 at 3:11 pm
15
Chips O'Toole says:
Khartoum is interested in purchasing vacation property in downtown Juarez.
September 2nd, 2008 at 3:25 pm
16
Ryno says:
Swindle at 9.
GTA: Juarez has me intrigued. Would you sneak off on a donkey? Eat at churro or tamale stands?
Fuck – I’ll be thinking about this all day.
September 2nd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
17
industrial strength says:
kudos for the No Country For Old Men reference
September 2nd, 2008 at 3:53 pm
18
BurritoBrosShits says:
Biggus Rickus- You mean you were never a part of the Sawgrass/PV Club Beef? That was big in High School….
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:24 pm
19
Biggus Rickus says:
BurritoBros,
I tried to stay out of the crossfire. The PV Club don’t fuckin’ play.
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:16 pm
20
dogtown gator says:
I find the idea of parodying current events via a video game reference horrifying and in bad taste Orson.
(For our next ad campaign, Call of Duty: World of Juarez, we will gladly pay you either in Percocet or Pesos).
September 3rd, 2008 at 1:49 am
21
SteveInHouston says:
The Big 12 South giggles at the various shenanigans perpetrated across the territories of our compatriots in the south.
Because truly, SEC speed is needed to flee these cutthroat mf’ers along our border. As Mark Kilroy would attest, if at all possible: http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/serial_killers/weird/constanzo/1.html
Seriously, tread lightly if you’re ever down along the Rio Grande.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:02 am