EDSBS » Archive » NO ONE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL

September 1, 2008

NO ONE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL

Monsieur. Aye put ziss fist…

…into ze ass. You weeel not like eet.

(Our poll question is officially answered: no one is more beautiful than Rick Neuheisel.)

Filed under: Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, Pacific 10 Conference, Southeastern Conference by Orson Swindle

[ 44 Replies ]

44 Responses to “NO ONE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL”

1

Nathan says:

Even Pete Carroll thinks he’s beautiful

September 1st, 2008 at 10:58 pm
2

Roaminggator says:

…and no one is uglier than the Doughboy, fulmer

September 1st, 2008 at 10:58 pm
3

poguemahone says:

PACK TIN SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

September 1st, 2008 at 10:59 pm
4

SDSMP says:

Has anyone ever been outcoached as badly as Fulmer?

September 1st, 2008 at 11:00 pm
5

beckett929 says:

#4,

Tommy Bowden, his entire life… Rich Rodriguez anytime theres something at stake…

September 1st, 2008 at 11:02 pm
6

blackertai says:

Not true #5. I was at the 2005 Sugar Bowl. It pains me to this day that nobody saw that fake punt coming.

Wow. What a gigantic choke job on the part of UT. I mean, who wasn’t expecting them to dominate UCLA like a red-headed step-child? Unbelievable finish to a game that should never have been that close. Urban Meyer must be licking his lips watching how easily UCLA shredded the UT defense in that second half.

September 1st, 2008 at 11:05 pm
7

RanchyBalls says:

That was some of the least inspiring half-time adjustments by Fulmer I’ve ever seen. The locals will be sharpening their pitchforks and lighting the torches soon. (read, right now)

September 1st, 2008 at 11:07 pm
8

SDSMP says:

Player for player, UT was physically dominant, but their coaching staff just continually got in their way.

September 1st, 2008 at 11:08 pm
9

Stagecoach says:

Has there EVER been a more overrated coach than Fullmer? I love watching his teams shit themselves on national tv. Some things never change.

September 1st, 2008 at 11:08 pm
10

Signal to Noise says:

Apparently halftime adjustments do not include rushing the hapless juc0 transfer quarterback.

EPIC FAIL.

September 1st, 2008 at 11:10 pm
11

Will says:

I just moved to TN, and Fulmer just went flying by my window like the Twister cow. Won’t be a pleasant week at work for anybody in the state.

September 1st, 2008 at 11:11 pm
12

AZDuck says:

I have no reason to hate Fat Phil, but I do anyway.

And even though as a Duck fan I am naturally super-predisposed to hate Slick Rick the Pretty Pony…. OMFG Phil’s temper tantrum when UCLA scored their go-ahead TD in the 4th quarter was teh awesome.

F Tennessee.

September 1st, 2008 at 11:16 pm
13

Bandobras says:

Someone put Holly on suicide watch.

September 1st, 2008 at 11:20 pm
14

Mr.Pelican Pants says:

I tip my fo’tie for you, Holly.
Gentlemen, a moment of silence for Holly and Tebow’s rack…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
FireFulmer.com

September 1st, 2008 at 11:23 pm
15

Acid Reign says:

…..Wow. I’m glad my team got that West Coast Offense stuff out of their system last November! Sure, it’s all good when you’ve got a half dozen future NFL draft picks in your starting offense, but otherwise…

…..I’ll take my sub-100 yard passing high-school offense against the Sun Belt, any day. I’m shocked. Clawson had SO much good hype over the offseason!

September 1st, 2008 at 11:34 pm
16

InsaneCoachPosse says:

I can’t believe I actually feel a little sympathy for the Vols… they were lousy tonight and deserved to win

but my infatuation with Holly makes me sympathetic for the big Orange …. sorry m’lady but your team deserved to win and you will not do better until they find a better coach

still I wish they had won so I could imagine you smiling… orange and white flowers to you in sympathy

September 1st, 2008 at 11:39 pm
17

JD says:

God, Mike Patrick was sure in a hurry to anoint UCLA after that game, wasn’t he? His Coachness Sir Rick won three consecutive national titles and whathisname at QB is the next Joe Montana.

Never mind that Sir Rick almost blew the game with that horrific pooch kickoff that didn’t even make it to the 30. But he got away with it because Fulmer coached with both hands wrapped around his gigantic neck. I’m convinced UCLA won that game because Sir Rick was the less sucktastic of the two coaches.

P.S. I also enjoyed Rutgers boarding the failboat today without their one-man program. Sure it makes the Big East look terrible, what with their zero wins over I-A teams this weekend, but it’s Greg Schiano and fuck him.

September 1st, 2008 at 11:44 pm
18

croc says:

Nice “spread” defense! Looks like the Volsstole the wrong playbook and copied the Gators 2007 “Swiss Cheese Cover Formation”. Doh!

September 1st, 2008 at 11:47 pm
19

crimson daddy says:

Crompton looked horrible. But still, he shouldn’t have been asked to do anything but hand the ball to Foster and Hardesty all night and UT would have won by three scores.

September 2nd, 2008 at 12:03 am
20

Jeff from LA says:

Nobody dislikes UCLA more than me, but I’m pleased by their representation of the conference.

Pac-10 >> SEC >> Big 10 >> ACC.

(I’m just joking, but the ole Pac-10 did go 3-0 against the SEC, Big 10, and the ACC).

September 2nd, 2008 at 12:10 am
21

MikeLew says:

Wow……that was a god-awful first half, and a fairly entertaining second half.

Turns out that instead of using the “Clawfense”, UT should have gone after it ‘85 Browns style, with Foster and Hardesty playing the roles of Mack and Byner. Who knew? Oh, that’s right, every Vol fan in the country, who was yelling at Fulmer through the TV(I’m assuming)

September 2nd, 2008 at 12:18 am
22

kevin says:

so wait… a ranked sec team lost to a half assed pac 10 team that threw 4 int’s… uhhhh. awful quiet in these boards

September 2nd, 2008 at 12:33 am
23

Dinknflicka says:

Mena’s ass is still better. The neck tattoo was a bad choice, though.

September 2nd, 2008 at 12:47 am
24

Albino Tornado says:

Jeff from LA —

You seem to have forgotten Wazzu getting taken out back of the woodshed by a middle-of-the-road Big 12 team. Good job ignoring facts which run contrary to your hypothesis.

September 2nd, 2008 at 12:56 am
25

ClydeB says:

SEC tears are the sweetest tears of all. (and the fastest?)

September 2nd, 2008 at 1:07 am
26

Doesn't Get His Corn from a Jar says:

Feel like there should be some representation from a Bruin in this thread. Wow was that unexpected and amazing, like the 5 people I saw in orange overalls today. Much respect to UT for actually getting the hell out of the South to play nonconference games but Fulmer just got outdone tonight, and this might be a tough year, because we sure as hell aren’t Florida or Georgia. My favorite line of the night: “Not enough moonshine in this stadium” -Joe the Vol fan.

The long nightmare of Karl Dorrell’s offense is over, replaced by the glorious spring of the all powerful Norm Chow. His holiness DeWayne Walker (though i can’t believe he went to the prevent on that last drive-last time that happened was against Notre Dame in South Bend) has actually given UCLA a consistently good defense for the first time in about 3000 years, and His Coachness actually did the impossible-getting most Bruin fans to wear blue. Looooong way to go but damn it feels good to be 1-0 when it looked like 0-3 was a possibility.

And for Holly, here’s a quote for you:

But further, we see here extraordinary and unexampled proofs of divine favor. The sea has been divided; the cloud has attended you on your way; the rock has flowed with water; the manna has rained from heaven; everything has concurred to promote your greatness.

All hail His Coachness!

September 2nd, 2008 at 1:14 am
27

Janus09 says:

Albino Tornado -

Yes, and Wazzou is the worst team in the Pac-10.

Meanwhile, Miss St. lost to a middle of the road WAC team and Arkansas almost lost to mighty Western Illinois. Something that was very much ignored during the “SEC rules because they beat up Clemson” tide of stories earlier in the weekend.

Big 12 >> WAC

September 2nd, 2008 at 1:22 am
28

dogtown gator says:

Balls. Looks like my Tivo (with +1 hour recording time) is going to cut off before OT starts up.

Btw, the local eating segment on The Apple Pan was a fine choice. Maybe Fulmer will eat there and feel a little better about himself.

September 2nd, 2008 at 1:25 am
29

dogtown gator says:

Nope. Tivo cut off right after Golden Boy’s post-game interview with Holly.

What did Fulmer say in his?

September 2nd, 2008 at 1:33 am
30

Dr. Strange says:

Albino Tornado – And you seemed to have forgotten that Mississippi State got punked by a second tier WAC team.

Pac-10 is now 10-6 vs the SEC since 2000. Doesn’t mean that the SEC isn’t the best league, but certainly disproves the myopic opinion held by many in the Confederacy that the Pac-10 is a joke.

September 2nd, 2008 at 1:37 am
31

austiger says:

Tennessee 1-3 after Auburn?

September 2nd, 2008 at 1:37 am
32

Jeff from LA says:

Albino Tornado, you are correct. Wazzu has fallen so far in recent years that I rarely even remember its part of the Pac 10 Conference.

There is a reason that Wazzu was voted to finish last in the Pac 10 by the Pac 10 media. Taking Wazzu to the woodshed takes almost as much effort as taking Syracuse/Baylor/etc. to the woodshed.

Still, I’m surprised to hear smack talk from the Big 12. I hope your two-time defending conference champ (and favored to win again) OU wins a bowl game one of these days.

September 2nd, 2008 at 1:42 am
33

Jeff from LA says:

Speaking of the Big 12, that was a pretty impressive performance by Texas A&M the other day against Arkansas State. I didn’t know the Sun Belt Conference had gotten so good these days.

September 2nd, 2008 at 1:46 am
34

chaimy4life says:

Holly off the ledge yet?

Phat Phil’s gonna sweat off pounds on that hot seat…

September 2nd, 2008 at 2:21 am
35

oc phil says:

But how beautiful will Slick Rick look if UCLA drops games to BYU and Fresno State? And I’ll be shocked if he wins half his Pac 10 games.

Neither team looked like anything to fear tonight.

September 2nd, 2008 at 3:05 am
36

Doug says:

RICK NEUHEISEL IS YOUR NEW BICYCLE

RICK NEUHEISEL BOUGHT YOU A SNOW CONE

RICK NEUHEISEL TOLD YOU YOU WERE PRETTY

September 2nd, 2008 at 6:50 am
37

NewAZTiger says:

You are so beautiful to me
/cheesy 80’s love song

September 2nd, 2008 at 7:00 am
38

the croominator says:

Okay, so stupid question, but did ANYONE post about the Ole Miss/Memphis game? Scanned all the posts, including the live blog, but nary a word. The “Wild Rebel” worked, but D definately missed Jerry and Hardy.

Oh, and Migo Spearman is now a sad, drunken shell of a man…saw him at the new blues bar (the one that used to be a Hallmark store). The years since he left the Panthers have not been good to him.

September 2nd, 2008 at 7:20 am
39

the croominator says:

Oh, all of this assumes I was in Oxford over the weekend. Which I was. Which would have been nice for me to mention in my original post.

September 2nd, 2008 at 7:22 am
40

CalBearsNYC says:

Did anyone else catch the shot of Norm Chow after the UCLA go ahead touchdown in the 4th quarter? Leaned back, both hands open and a “I am an evil football Buddha who completely mind fucked Tenn secondary leaving my TE wide open in the end zone” look upon his face. Smugness does not begin to describe it. If someone with a Tivo could get a screen shot of it, I’m sure Orson would appreciate it.

Also, while many have pointed out that Tenn should have dominated physically along the line, UCLA DT’s had a great game against a supposedly dominant Tenn o-line which frees up alot of other players that may not have the same physical tools to make plays.

September 2nd, 2008 at 7:36 am
41

Orson Swindle says:

Yes, we did catch that shot. It’s mentioned obliquely in the CI, but seeing Chow making those faces means your team is bullfucked in the worst way.

September 2nd, 2008 at 8:04 am
42

blon57 says:

#33

New coaching staff, new offense, new defense…give them some time.

September 2nd, 2008 at 9:02 am
43

Group29 says:

#40, I would also like to find a youtube clip of what HDTV caught OMGPonies Rick miming at Craft after his third interception (That’s three! Stop It!) and fourth interception run back for a touchdown (Fuck Me!)

September 2nd, 2008 at 10:45 am
44

Gen. Stoopnagle says:

All one can say is wow. I think most commentators here have covered the epic failure that was Tennessee football last night.

Relatedly, I am not sorry that Georgia is not going to make all the way to California, but will wisely stop and turnaround after a w/e in PHX.

But before we get all cart and horse: how does CMU get to be the Chippewas? No feathers on the logo? No Chief Knockahoma prowling the sidelines?

September 2nd, 2008 at 12:29 pm