BLOGTOBERFEST: THREE LIGHTS AHEAD EDITION

by Orson on Aug 29, 2008 2:27 PM EDT

Blogtoberfest: resting comfortably prior to frenzied Saturday activity.

BULLET HURRICANE BULLET: App State/LSU gets the boot up to 10 a.m. thanks to Hurricane Gustav. This means LSU fans will begin drinking violently at 3 p.m. two days ago to prepare.

Holly's new column on Yahoo is up, and contains a Velvet Underground reference Yahoo commenters will miss, think is gay, or turn into an attack on TEHM LIBRLZ.

Losers With Socks pointed us to a South Carolina fan who, to be fair, is consistent with his hate. Even if you're paralyzed, he still thinks you should go to hell and die.

They stop traffic and neglect burning fires for football? Yes, Hawaii, we do. All the time.

Necessary things: The schedule, easy, simple, and television-friendly. Read it before you go into battle. We talked with Cuddles Swindle yesterday, and his entire day is planned down to the second. We think the twins are even supposed to shit on schedule, and if they really are his children, for football they will do just this.

Illinois is faster than last year, but thin at linebacker per Behind the Stripes, who also gets more information about Juice Williams improving vastly as a passer. Thinking about putting Maclin on one of those linebackers in a matchup has Chase Daniels delivering pizzas with a fierceness, brah.

Cobra Commander has a Twitter feed. It's necessary.

Todd, who should be doing hang cleans and drinking whole eggs in preparation for Bama's opener, is instead divulging his girly shame/love songs list. Scandal does not belong on that list.

This, however, does (the video makes it so, so much worse):

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Comments

Todd??

Thats…..Real gay.

by Holtz lisper on Aug 29, 2008 2:41 PM EDT reply actions

And this just in – Gustav 1, LSU & App State deferred.

by Southern Papa` on Aug 29, 2008 2:47 PM EDT reply actions

In fairness, it probably would’ve been impossible to work Heroin into the blog.

by OhioDaw on Aug 29, 2008 3:02 PM EDT reply actions

Wait, wait, wait.

We are letting you all write blogs on Yahoo now?

/cutting, pasting and editing comments from previous posts is fun and economical!

by GamecockTony on Aug 29, 2008 3:18 PM EDT reply actions

Since when is LenDale White a South Carolina fan? Methinks you may have linked to the wrong item in that third item.

by Year2-Dave on Aug 29, 2008 3:23 PM EDT reply actions

No commenting on this, Orson?

Some 10,000 white “Gator shade” hats will be distributed before the game and free sunscreen will also be given out.

You’re pasty white ass is slipping, or overgorged on mediocre Thursday night football.

by dogtown gator on Aug 29, 2008 3:38 PM EDT reply actions

Dogtown: ass firm and tan. See the CI this a.m.

by Orson Swindle on Aug 29, 2008 4:02 PM EDT reply actions

Can I get a sit-down between Holly and my girlfriend for football-loving-girl lessons?

by This Guy on Aug 29, 2008 4:06 PM EDT reply actions

Is Hannibal Montegna returning this year?

by John on Aug 29, 2008 4:08 PM EDT reply actions

John—Hannibal has other responsibilities.

by Orson Swindle on Aug 29, 2008 4:13 PM EDT reply actions

Friday off hangover error. Thanks for the mental image rebuke, Orson.

Keep up the amazing work. Anyone offering criticism is in the ’We’re compaining about supermodels hair being off’ in the grand scheme of things.

Shit, a cloud even passed over in Venice, CA today. What a crappy neighborhood I live in.

by dogtown gator on Aug 29, 2008 4:32 PM EDT reply actions

Hmm… I looked at the title of Holly’s writeup, thought of William Gibson, and didn’t make the connection to the song until halfway through it.

In my head I see this becoming a regular travelog, eventually being turned into a show jointly funded by ESPN and the Travel Channel. We can all watch and reflect that while she maybe a famous TV personality now, we knew her when her rack was busy belonging to Mister Tebow.

by SC_Gator on Aug 29, 2008 5:13 PM EDT reply actions

That makes even my ears bleed, Orson.

by Todd on Aug 29, 2008 6:01 PM EDT reply actions

Wow. I already hated the Gamecocks, but after the guy on the screen shot giving the ‘Packs qb “11”….damn. If anyone has had a head injury (like me) or has a friend or loved one who has, I would never wish the same to him, but perhaps an aluminum baseball bat which slowly works it’s way up his body, from achilles, kneecaps, and femurs, following with a non-aesthetic surgical removal of his, ummm, “mascot,” would be appropriate.

by Thank god it's football season on Aug 29, 2008 6:28 PM EDT reply actions