NEBRASKA FOOTBALLERS TRAIN BY PUMPING IRON, THROWING MEN
Nebraska made this year’s Fulmer Cup in steady but unspectacular fashion, showing enough of the old barroom spite to make us pick them in the In The Bleachers podcast as a wacky but not insane Big 12 North candidate.

Nebraska remains subtly frightening in many ways. This is only one.
As with all predictions, we reserve the right to change it, deny it, outright lie in the face of its future shame, or to claim it despite never having made it. At least we’re upfront with that, unlike Lou Holtz, who just seems to pick the last two schools who paid him and rolls with that, which is precisely what he did on College Football Live this week, shilling shamelessly for South Carolina and Notre Dame with the goggle-eyed dexedrine leprechaun zeal only Lou can bore into the camera.
Anyway, Nebraska might have earned a bonus point in the Fulmer Cup if we’d known the following details about Andy Christensen’s early off-season arrest for sexual assault.
What Mausbach didn’t know at the time was that the woman crying had confronted Christensen believing he’d reached under her skirt to penetrate her as she stood in another part of the bar.
By then, she told the jury a day earlier, Christensen had dumped two drinks on her head…
The girl with wet hair pulled at Christensen’s arm as he walked away. She bawled and screamed, but Mausbach couldn’t tell what she was saying.
Mausbach said he’d handle it…Mausbach told Christensen if he called the police, they’d arrest him. What came next happened fast, Mausbach said.
“He took his hand up around my neck and threw me.”
Mausbach landed on his back. When he got up, he ran out the door to find police. It took six minutes for police to get handcuffs on Christensen, and he kicked a dent in a police Tahoe.
Yes, we might have shorted them a point or two there. Apologies. We regret the error.












16
Which would be creepier — waking up in bed with the Burger King proffering a plate of fast food or waking up in bed with Li’l Red proferring an ear of corn?
To ask the question is to answer it… or something.
Comment by Sgt. Barwis's Beatdown Brigade — August 28, 2008 @ 3:40 pm
15
I will never get over that picture. Nev.er.
Comment by Holly — August 28, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
14
Once again for the slow folks. That is NOT a picture from Nebraska….it is Folsom Field in Boulder, CO.
BTW, that brother looks like he is about to bust a cap in Lil Red’s azz.
Comment by BringBackHuskerThugs — August 28, 2008 @ 3:17 pm
13
Woa wait. There are black people in Nebraska??
Comment by Sonny C — August 28, 2008 @ 2:41 pm
12
@ 11… yes, thats precisely how it would go down, except you forgot the part about where one guy slaps the other with his pocket square.
Come to think of it, I did see a bartender in O’Rourkes get clocked with a glass pitcher while attempting to break up a fight once. Prolly didn’t feel too good the next day.
Comment by Flatlander — August 28, 2008 @ 2:14 pm
11
I’m shocked that a fight could get so out of hand in Lincoln. My impression of Nebraskans is that a bar fight would typically go like this….
Nebraskan #1: Excuse me there, sir. Did you just happen to grab my girlfriend’s ass on the dance floor?
Nebraskan #2: Why yes I did, old chap! But I didn’t know she was attached. Please forgive my poor manners!
Nebraskan #1: I’m so disappointed in you.
Nebraskan #2: Now wait a second there, there’s no reason to get hostile…
Nebraskan #1: Oh, pardon me, did I inadvertently take a tone there?
Nebraska #2: Well, a little bit, but that’s okay.
Nebraskan #1: Rest assured, sir, that was unintentional.
Nebraska #2: Don’t worry. No harm done.
Nebraskan #1: So, do you want to come back to our apartment for a three-way, or what?
Nebraska #2: Most affirmatively! Huzzah!
…and scene!
Comment by Papa Lou BSU — August 28, 2008 @ 1:10 pm