I was told there would be no math.

If so, at $1.8M/yr. in salary – dollar for dollar – is there anyone worse than Brent Musberger?

Was hoping against hope they’d give Patrick/ Blackledge the Bama-Clemson game and we’d have some knowledge in the booth. Instead we get mush for brains and herbie, who will surely be confused by all the SEC SPEED and lack of familiar color schemes on the uniform. Mushberger won’t know who to openly root for and will thus be likely drunk and inchoherent, and Herbie will have his jaw on the floor lookin at all the lovely SEC talent, and realize he should leave Columbus ASAP.
And Todd’s Taste of the Town in LA? Just doesn’t seem right.

Thom Brennaman and somebody named Charissa?

You”re going to feel really stupid for saying this when Charissa Explains It All.

/no pederast

For those of us who insist on spending Saturday morning watching the Purple, here’s a hint: take the audio stream from WGNradio.com.

That way, the only reason for vomit to be hitting the floor is when Tyrell bolts for the end zone, only to have it called back for holding, or when Claudia Jane starts throwing the ball at everyone but the eligible receivers…

I’m a little surprised that Philadelphia was given USC-UVA instead of Utah-Michigan (Not that it matters because Utah-Michigan will be on ESPN2). I’m GREATLY relieved that Philly gets Alabama-Clemson instead of MSU-Cal. Philadelphia is usually stuck with the Big 10 game no matter what.

On the bright side, Notre Dame is a seven-point favorite over the Wuhan Industrial School, provided that Charlie Weis puts down his platter of kung pao chicken long enough to call plays.

Uh, nope. Not here.

*Shuffles feet, looks at toes, and recalls some of Orson’s funnier posts from two years (and, apparently, about 20 pounds) ago.*