CURIOUS INDEX, 8/28/08

Ron Franklin calling a Pac10 game is subject to excommunication. Continuing the bizzarro-world that is this weekend’s broadcasting crews is the Oklahoma-Chattanooga game. On Fox Sports, pay per view with a later, free, showing on tape delay. The crew? Tim Brando, and Spencer Tillman…of CBS…who works SEC games. So………you go from the CBS halftime show to not only Fox Sports cable, but a pay per view w/ tape delay?

It’s always bad news when your mixer of choice almost equals the price of the two minis you are adding.

/T-minus 10 hours and change. Tick. Tick. Tick.

@1: Yes. SEC should have stipulated in the new mega-contract that Ron Franklin has to do SEC games. I don’t know, though, maybe Ron is just following in Keith Jackson’s footsteps and slowly making his way to California for retirement? I don’t know. Seems strange and Ole Miss man would go that route, but who knows. If I could live in California I would for two reasons: weather and the fact that at 8:30 am Pacific time, an eastern time game is kicking off. Well, those two reasons and then UCLA cheerleaders on that page. Yowza.

It is comforting to know that when the SEC loses the Orgeron, it gains Chris Rainey to take his place as the quote machine. He is easier to understand and comes without a filter.

Over/Under on picture of Rainey holding up (pony) keg with some Hawthorne trailer trash….42 Days

To hell with the rest of them, who’s calling the Jax State-GaTech game tonight? Given Ryan Perrilloux’s presence on the field, I’d be expecting Tyler Durden and Nicky Santoro in the booth, with Pac-Man Jones covering the sidelines.

FOOTBAW! FOOTBAW! FOOTBAW!

I have no idea who any of those folks are that ESPNU is sending to Oxford, Ohio, but I’m damned glad they’re in town.

I get to tailgate and watch football today. That’s all.

IT’S FOOTBALL TIME, MOTHERF@CKERS!!!

/not getting a damn thing done today

So is Mike Patrick doing the Saturday night ESPN games again? Vomit

On the eve of football, what a depressing list.

Thom Brennaman and somebody named Charissa?

Am I the only one who thought from the outset that having semi-attractive sideline bimbos on EVERY SPORTS BROADCAST from the NBA to NASCAR was a stupid idea and would have played itself out long ago?

Are there any among us who is compelled to watch one more minute of sports to catch a glimpse of Holly Rowe?

Is there a fan anywhere on the planet that thinks Pam Ward should be calling cfb games? She is the terrible-ist of the gawdawfully, horrendously bad.

I took Human Sexuality at UF, too. It was awful, and Chris probably hasn’t yet seen the slides of “advanced stage Venereal Diseases”. Human Sexuality was the only class at UF that I didn’t get an A or B in my entire career.

Just a feeling, but odds on a pro-Rainey being sued for “knowingly infecting a woman with Herpes”? 2-1.

NRBQ @#11…“…compelled to watch for one more minute because of Holly Rowe…?” Fuck no.

dogtown @ #13… my human sexuality class at UF was more of an interdisciplinary major; included alot of lab work, extra-curricular study, internships and on-the-job training. As the research progressed there were dramatic failures but also some very satisfying victories…and never a shortage of willing subjects.

As a Gator I am almost sad to say that the bulk of my studies concluded in the sexual/geographical rump-roast that is Athens, GA. I met there a level of quality, variety and enthusiasm that I had never comprehended before.

Sadly, I had to forego my studies as matrimonial responsibilities became my fate, however I am available as an advisor and counselor for any students who desire to attempt this rich and rewarding line of research…

I take “Human Sexuality” every single day of my life.
And I take it “pass/fail”.

Are there any among us who is compelled to watch one more minute of sports to catch a glimpse of Holly Rowe?

Uh, nope. Not here.

Shuffles feet, looks at toes, and recalls some of Orson’s funnier posts from two years (and, apparently, about 20 pounds) ago.

So, since they’re 13 hrs ahead, does that mean College Football has already started in China?

I feel obligated to inform you that the Piedmont does not extend into Florida.

Re #17: Yes, but NBC won’t show the highlights until Saturday night.

On the bright side, Notre Dame is a seven-point favorite over the Wuhan Industrial School, provided that Charlie Weis puts down his platter of kung pao chicken long enough to call plays.

Even as a Buckeye I now have a special place in my heart for Chris Rainey, who might single-handedly make me want to watch any and all interviews with him from now on.

Now that Marques Slocum is gone, a nation turns its lonely eyes to Chris Rainey

Damn, and I don’t get ESPNXinhua at the office

I hope Rainey picks up the mantle of Americaback. I can see it, clear as day: after Rainey scores another TD, the entire east stands erupts with a chant of “america! FUCK YEAH!” (ala team America)

The ABC coverage map is out: http://www.hdsportsguide.com/news/2008/august-30th-abcespn-college-football-coverage-maps/

I’m a little surprised that Philadelphia was given USC-UVA instead of Utah-Michigan (Not that it matters because Utah-Michigan will be on ESPN2). I’m GREATLY relieved that Philly gets Alabama-Clemson instead of MSU-Cal. Philadelphia is usually stuck with the Big 10 game no matter what.

Orson, your hate for PW is cute, but don’t tell me you’re actually going to watch that game. There must be a better one on somewhere, anywhere.

For those of us who insist on spending Saturday morning watching the Purple, here’s a hint: take the audio stream from WGNradio.com.

That way, the only reason for vomit to be hitting the floor is when Tyrell bolts for the end zone, only to have it called back for holding, or when Claudia Jane starts throwing the ball at everyone but the eligible receivers…

On the eve of football, what a depressing list.

Thom Brennaman and somebody named Charissa?

You’’re going to feel really stupid for saying this when Charissa Explains It All.

/no pederast

At least they’re giving Franklin 2 games to cover this weekend.

Was hoping against hope they’d give Patrick/ Blackledge the Bama-Clemson game and we’d have some knowledge in the booth. Instead we get mush for brains and herbie, who will surely be confused by all the SEC SPEED and lack of familiar color schemes on the uniform. Mushberger won’t know who to openly root for and will thus be likely drunk and inchoherent, and Herbie will have his jaw on the floor lookin at all the lovely SEC talent, and realize he should leave Columbus ASAP.
And Todd’s Taste of the Town in LA? Just doesn’t seem right.

I have paid the almost $7 during the fanfest at RayJay, almost spit out the whiskey when they told me the total. You do get a collectors cup that will serve well as a urinal during the 4th quarter.

Philosophical question: If you are a horrible announcer but make less $$ than another horrible announcer, does that make the better paid announcer worse?

If so, at $1.8M/yr. in salary – dollar for dollar – is there anyone worse than Brent Musberger?

Hobeg8r,

I was told there would be no math.