[a knock at the door.]

Attractive woman in her mid-thirties in negligee: "Who iiiiiiis it?"

Voice: "Ma'am, I'm here to fix your pipes."

[opens door]

Woman: And my pipes do need fixing.

Colt McCoy: I work sixty minutes at a time, ma'am. Let's see how long this...problem takes to fix.

Woman: I don't know...it seems my pipes have been neglected for so...long

Colt McCoy: I've got the tools for the job, ma'am.

Woman: A hammer with a football on the end?

Colt McCoy: Um...sure. Yes. A hammer with a football on the end.

Porn director: CUT!!! No improv!

Colt: Amateurs. YOU PEOPLE ARE AMATEURS! AMATEURS, I TELL YOU!

(HT: Ryan. No idea where this came from.)