“There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you’re high it’s tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars…But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against-you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable…It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.”
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Any 3rd and 31 run conversions this year will not come from the quarterback draw. If they do happen, it will be because someone took the redshirt off Tyrod Taylor, who will get the crimson development sweater as Sean Glennon is named the starter for 2008. For best results, remember: your Sean Glennon thrives best in an environment where he wears the opponent’s jersey with his name written on it in sharpie.
Mike Gundy will call his own offensive plays this fall like a man, who is forty-one. This always seems to loom larger–and generate a tad more angst among fans–for offensive coaches than those head coaches with their fingers in the defensive mix, as if it took so much more brainpower to score points than to prevent them. (An unfair prejudice in both directions: see Will Muschamp and Mike Debord as examples to the contrary in both departments.)
There are differences, of course: defenses won’t resort to quite as many alignments and variable assignments as offenses, and therefore the slightly higher level of potential complexity. Defenses have to read them, of course, meaning it’s just as mentally complex, if not more so for players actually on the field.
The initial shock of the SEC/ESPN 2.2 billion dollar rain-making–you like the way we’re dropping it, Norby? Them girls up north ain’t got the red beans ‘n rice like this, son!–Tony Barnhart opens up his soul and shows us the heart of a true knight in loafers and a pressed oxford:
This is just one man’s opinion, but if ESPN is smart, they’ll keep the same broadcast team of Dave Neal, Dave Archer, and Dave Baker to do the early SEC games. In fact, the SEC should insist on it.
SAVE THE DAVES!!! The campaign starts now.
Email ESPN now at their mailbot. Strike now, strike early, and strike often. Let the “Bloody Mary Game” crew continue to work, although perhaps with a crew that can spot the ball without dropping the camera, getting distracted by a particularly colorful bug, or whatever the hell else that forced the JP/LF/Raycom crew to occasionally pull a Star Trek evasive maneuver scene on the audience. Imagine what they could do with sound men who didn’t leave live mikes on the entire game somewhere in the equipment truck! Savor the possibilities of a broadcast where they didn’t have to talk into antiquated mikes with covers the size of afro wigs!
Do it for us, ESPN, the rednecks and exiled children of rednecks who helped build this $2.2 billion dollar baby. Do it for America, and do it for the Daves, dammit. If you don’t consider them one and the same, we’ll be taking that dynamite vest and AK-47 off you now, terrorist.
Smart Football is here to explain the nuts and bolts of what’s actually happening on the field–or what should happen–in the biggest game in week one, Clemson versus Alabama at the Georgia Dome. Warning: long, brilliant, and extremely informative, meaning it should be a jolt to regular readers’ senses given the usual fare here. Enjoy.–O/S.
This article presents my own Smart Football brand of review for the upcoming Clemson-Alabama game, which is great for me because I’m not actually going to predict who wins the game at all, thus saving me the humiliation of being wrong and preventing this article from becoming irrelevant a week after having been written.
Saban brings the Belichick-brain to the game. Spence brings the refab’d Run ‘n Shoot. NERD JAM GO!
The reason I’m not making such a prediction is because I’m talking today about schemes, and who actually wins this game probably will have done so less because they outschemed their opponent (since both coaches will have great schemes), but instead because of some combination of talent, execution, and luck, and these are things I don’t have any particular insight into.
So I’m just going to analyze one of the better coaching matchups of this season. (more…)
There is only one winner here: you, the viewer. Since Blon54 insisted we don’t give enough props to the Big 12, we lead off with not one, but TWO notes on the Dustbowl SEC. The first is that the tailback race at Texas is down to two backs now that Foswhitt Whittaker, a.k.a. “Fozzy,” has fallen behind due to a “minor knee injury.” (”Minor” in football terms equals “severed below the leg by a shark on South Padre Island. 2-3 weeks.”)
Now starting, your normal freakishly talented man in burnt orange with the outstanding name.
Vondrell McGee and Chris Ogbonnaya will likely run 1-2, with McGee playing the rugged leading man part while Ogbonnaya tugs at the heartstrings with an underplayed third down back crippled by his addiction to pass blocking and a downhearted woman he just can’t let go.
Matter, mattering. One of the best mainstream football blogs–one that actually resembles a blog in all the good ways–is Dave Matter’s Behind the Stripes on the Missouri Tigers, since he gives the purely useful…
Both banged up starters on offense fully expect to be in the starting lineup Saturday against Illinois. Tight end Chase Coffman (broken pinky finger) and receiver Jared Perry (dislocated shoulder) practiced at full speed on Saturday and Sunday.
…and the obligatorily off-topic and random, like noting that on Saturday Lee Corso referred to Jeremy Maclin as “Jeremy McClain.” We think we know what Maclin’s booty-call hotel sign-in name for this year is going to be. Thanks, Dave! He’ll be much easier to corner for that extra-special exclusive interview now.
Howard Schnellenberger, Ice Pirate. In this map of the cosmos, FAU sits far out against the very fringes of the galaxy, which is just how Captain Schnellenberger likes us. You need someone there to guard the great barrier. A man who knows tough. A man ready to go Death Blossom when the time comes. A man who understands real bravery runs behind a head of rum-soaked steam and a mustache shield. A true Ice Pirate, is he.
Brandon Spikes, stylish and gimpy. Florida’s starting linebacker Brandon Spikes will not start against Hawaii on Saturday due to a foot injury. You want more information? You’ll have to rip it from Urban Meyer’s cold, dead hands, punk, because as far as you know it’s somewhere between an ingrown toenail and frostbite requiring amputation. There? That help you a little bit? See, coach isn’t completely heartless yes I am.
Rick Neuheisel, pointing towards excellence. Rick Neuheisel takes a page from the Urban Meyer playbook and points the way towards a bipolar L.A. college football scene. Bipolar would be the correct word this season, since one side is going to forge forward giddily into the national title picture confidently, and the other will begin the comeback with the “moping around the apartment crying” scene.
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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