VISITING LECTURER: LSU JOSHUA ON, APPROPRIATELY, LSU

ESS EEE SEE HATS!

NICK SABAN WON THOSE TWO TROFIES BECASUE THEY WERE HIS RECRUITS.

FORBES!!!

I bet LSUJoshua typed that preview so fast his keyboard started smoking. ESS EEE SEE speed—it’s not just for the field anymore.

I hear Auburn has hired Jeff Gillooly and Shane Stant look it up to consult with them prior to the LSU game

Frenchy the Giant should be afraid… very afraid

The Werewolf of London looks eerily similiar to that Geico Caveman prick.

I’m disappointed in LSUJoshua’s lack of confidence.

$5 says the tablesurfers are from deep in Acadiana.

CORNDOGS!

My fat uncle won’t get off the couch ‘cause he’s lazy and unmotivated. Interestingly enough, he can barely comprehend how he ended up there, either. And pants fall down lacking a belt buckle, leaving one … exposed. Good luck with that QB issue you don’t think you have.

#4, +1, while James Carville sits there holding his knee wailing, “Wha me?!?”

Conan, A Clockwork Orange, 28 Days Later, and Warren Zevon. I admire your references, sir.

Can’t wait ’til September 20th., when you come to see some REAL tigers. And please, please keep those cameras rolling at LSU tailgates. The best Youtube has to offer.

Wow!!! How did ever find such a humble fan?

wait… so Ricky Jean Francois is LSU Freek?

5-3 in the SEC after beating auburn? who does he think we’ll lose to? at home to bama, at SC, moo state, ole piss, arky? don’t make me laugh

Texas Undefeated 2005 NC > Both of LSU’s backdoor, blemished BCS-lucky, homegame NC’s

All LSU fans are like this. That’s why they’re so damn irritating. And even though I grew up in LA , I ended up hating the Tigers.

Speaking of cloning DNA……the real LSU Charles Alexander graduated in the late ’70’s.

Damnation, that D-Line. Strawng.

However, re: "You’re gonna know running backs Charles Murphy and Richard Scott. "

Point of interest: uh, aren’t your running backs named Richard Murphy and Charles Scott? Hmmmm…

Well, I’m glad to that they’re primed for another year of success. After all they returned all those important starters from 2007.

Oh. Wait a minute …

Overlooking UGA , eh?

Eeeeexcellent (rubs hands)

By the way – you gonna get Kyle, Doug or Blutarsky to be a visiting lecturer this week?

lsu is about to revert back to its historical mean… a mid-level SEC team, unlike Florida, LSU’s recent success is not a long-term change in the program’s historical trend…enjoy fighting with Ole Miss and Miss State on a yearly basis for 4th place in the SEC west assholes

The football Gods frown on such preseason bravado (especially when it turns a blind eye to some realities which should be extremely disconcerting to LSU fans). Repent now, Joshua, or pay a terrible, terrible price. Remember UAB?

Good thing about coonasses…they talk great games and don’t seem to care when the game doesn’t live up to the level of their talk…they just slide face-first into another table leg…

Wow. It’s not that I expect the guy to be unbiased, but shit, dude, did you take a big hit of LS(U)D before you wrote that?

And they call Alabama fans delusional.

Arrogance noted. See you in JHS.

Gerry DiNardo still makin’ buffalo shrimp Po-boys down in Baton Rouge?

He’s such a nice man, I aways stop by and say “hi” when I’m in the area.

Tinkerbell put “pressure” on that dude’s face.

He-He

1st pic….
Reporter: “Coach Miles, are you not wearing a belt?”
Miles: “I am, no, not wearing a belt. Do you know what belts do? They sinch, bind, squeeeeeze and pinch in places a man shouldn’t be pinched. Plus, I have a purple tie on so no one ever notices. PURPLE FUCKIN TIE!!”

Don’t forget the chop blocks 23, you & Ziemba will need them.

UAB loss was Saban’s

bama schedules a neutral site game in Atlanta so they’ll get to see where the SECCG is played. :-)

#27: That’s why we went to the spread – to spread your ACL apart.

4th and 27? Fuck it, run.

/Le Chapeau

Re: the embedded YouTube videos…

And yet another young, hammered LSU student learns an immutable lesson of life: being shit-faced is not the same as wearing a helmet.

@20

Vince Young’s Undefeated 2005 NC > Both of LSU’s backdoor, blemished BCS-lucky, homegame NC’s

Fixed it for ya!

Also, Matt @20 – are you just jealous now that Les Miles can put two crystal balls under his shirt to simulate boobies? The possibilities are amazing when you have two of these things to work with. Just ask …. oh, nevermind.

if you lose to Kentucky and/or Arkansas in the regular season, you should automatically be taken out of the BCS discussion.

So LSU fans are crazy for being confident, yet some on here believe the team is just going to magically fall to the middle of the pack after spending the last 5 years as a top 10 mainstay? Riiiiight…

You’d have a better chance of hearing a Georgia fan accepting that they actually lost a game without somebody being lucky/referees being out to get them.

Oh Billy Billy Billy – you LSU fans are the ultimate at never losing a game to a better team. Its always the ref’s fault, or injurie’s fault, or the weather’s fault. I’ve lived with it my whole life. Even in the lean years, there was always some reason other than LSU plain got beat.

LSU: The college football equivalent of soccer hooligans.

Bama, an upstart? HUH??? Bama hasn’t been good in recent years, but I think there’s a long history there that makes calling Bama an upstart only slightly southward of moronic.

Also, I do remember a certain player named Javier Arenas returning a punt that gives the lie to claims of brutally suppressing opposing teams…

Come on now. If I wanted to read fanboy fanfiction I’d head over to a World of Warcraft site…

@ Hue Freak Anal

If you are a Big 10 team, you should automatically be taken out of the BCS

Regarding the video, who knew that Tinkerbell had grown up to become a linebacker?

Boy oh boy, that looked like it hurt a little. He didn’t finish strong at all. I bet En-rickey would’ve finished that table-sliding maneuver REAL STRONG. He’s got a winner’s winning attitude and that’s what I like about him. Plus, he’s faster than greased owl shit! Oh man, Giggidy giggidy giggidy….I love the University of Ole Miss. We gonna win that boot again this year…err, I mean we’re gonna finish everything real strong.

Charles Scott, Richard Murphy… Probably should know the correct order of the names of your best running backs.

it’s funny, for all the recent success LSU has achieved, all i can think about is how badly Florida would beat LSU in the go-go ‘90s. i mean, we’re talking homecoming game scores. eric kresser lobbing bombs with no time left to put the score somewhere just below triple digits.

but they are good now, so that’s nice for them…

I am a big LSU hawk, but I cannot agree that we are still at the top of the SEC. I LOVE Les Miles, but he will be rebuilding this year. They will prolly lose three games.

@34: Most years, any two losses and you’re out. You might not have noticed if you just crawled out from under a rock a few days ago, but last year was a bit unusual. (Also of note: both losses were in 3OT to teams with winning records. VT’s losses may have come to better teams, but one of those was a 48-7 ass-kicking at the hands of LSU. OU lost to Colorado and Texas Tech and didn’t have the marquee non-con ass-kicking on their resume that LSU had; Georgia didn’t even win their division, much less their conference; Missouri lost twice to the same team, which makes it pretty clear said team is better; USC lost to freakin’ Stanford; Kansas’s best win was over the 6th-place team in their conference and then over Central Michigan; West Virginia lost to the Wannstache; and Hawaii’s best win was over last-place-in-the-Pac-10 Washington.)

to no. 20:

holy crap are you serious? LSU is the team that has had historical success. from an undefeated and alabama-esque 1908 national championship, to back to back sec championships in the ‘30s and the 1958 national championship. the only decade where LSU had little success was the 90’s.

florida barely even played the game til the 80s and then they had to cheat to win. even with spurrier they had a grand total of ONE national championship.

He forgot to write about the cracker-racists all over that campus on Saturday. Purple-n-gold stars-n-bars everywhere. And don’t forget that infamous video from the championship game…

Les Miles is a man who can recruit like no one else, and he makes decisions that require more balls that the combined testicular fortitude of your previous six generations.

Having said that: leave Les to recruiting and replace the LSU coaching staff with an army of kittens, and the Tigers would still win 10 games every season.

Comparing losses is the wrong way to approach quality. It should be about comparing wins. Just sayin’.

And what’s wrong with a little bit of woofing? Let’s take those two BCS titles out for a bit of a spin. Fear the Hat.

@ 43…

Holy shit, did you just refer to a NC in 1908?

TR says “Bully for the Foot-Ball!”

Since the conventions are going, OOC, unwittingly, and I are joining forces in a bipartisan effort to question the authenticity of this preview.

After all, LSUJoshua cannot form two complete sentences without some inconsequential diatribe about Tiger Mike taking a dump or having lunch, following thereafter.

I demand to know the real author of this confident essay.

Seriously, your QB is a transfer from Harvard.

Auburn is going to light you up.

I’m glad LSU football is doing well, because its English dept is struggling quite a bit.

Look at the following passages taken verbatim from the text:

Charles Alexander is returns from injury at DT. [sic]

We put all that in a centrifuge or maybe we just wrapped it in bacon, then deep fried it, whatever. [I can’t tell if its the awkward commas or the awkward ending of the sentence that makes this sentence a disgrace.]

Upstart neighbors are brutally subjugated (Miss. St., Bama, Ole Miss) and we get the best of the serious competition, sometimes decidedly so. [Not only a ridiculously arrogant sentence, but it violates at least 4 grammar rules.]

This submission was darn near incomprehensible. I hope the rest of the LSU fanbase has a stronger grasp of the English language than this guy.

It’s going to be pretty tough for Auburn to light anybody up after Ricky Jean Francois makes Kody Burns and Chris Todd look like James Thompson’s ear at the end his fight against Kimbo Slice.

Not to pile on the ctiticism, but Miles now makes more than our “Rocket Scientist” does, as he should.

We’ll see how happy you are with him in February.

I am the indian shedding a solitary tear until the day comes when LSU season previews are nothing but .gif montages done by LSUFreek.

What’s with the sudden influx of dumb on EDSBS? Did someone post a link to this on Scout or Rivals? Take a fucking joke, you hypocrites.

@45: I think you need to consider both the quality of the wins and the quality of the losses. But in this case, I’m not sure it mattered – LSU’s signature win (the ass-kicking of VT) was the best, and their losses (both in multiple OTs to reasonable-quality opponents) were the least damaging, so no matter how you look at it, they’re easily the top 2-loss team. And given the complete lack of quality wins by Hawaii and Kansas to that point, I have no problem with them passing over both.

Somewhere, Darren McFadden and his four touchdowns are pointing and laughing at the analysis of LSU’s immovable defense.

poguemahone

it took 51 comments. damn, some of yall are slipping.

shit guys, this this just fun and games till the damn games are played and then it’s up for grabs.

but our d line will rape your ass.

Joshua,

Richt is breaking out the reverse chastity belts (asstity belts?) for all offensive personnel Oct. 25. Rape averted.

Sometimes satire is just a little too close to reality…

Joshua @ #59…right, it is all talk until they line up and the clock starts…its just that some do more talking than others and it gets old fast.

As for ass-raping, I question your defense’s ability this year. Even with all the nfl first rounders last year, your vaunted defense didn’t seem to achieve climax on numerous occasions…the victory over Florida was determined by highly questionable offensive play calls which, while providing a climax of sorts, would certainly make one wonder if one was hitting the right hole…

Hey Joshua,

I thought it was funny. People are getting touchy around here as we get closer to the season.

I’m convinced there’s some kind of inverse effect to Einstein’s theory of relativity at the end of the offseason. The closer you get to the beginning of the college football season, time actually lengthens and slows. Will the Hofstra vs. Connecticut game [I]never[/I] get here?

Ur freshman corner’s name is Patrick JOHNSON, not Peterson…. are you the guy who hit his head in the video?

#64, actually patrick johnson changed his name to patrick peterson, good try though.