IT'S LIKE JIM TRESSEL, BUT IT BLEEDS BEER
by Orson on Aug 22, 2008 10:58 AM EDT
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PrintThe most disturbing consumer item available on the market has to be Jupmode.com's Sweatervest Koozy, the tiny Tresselhide for your beer that shows that not only do you love America's coach, but that you kind of want to take a miniature version of him, rip his head off, and drink beer from his neck.
If only this came with an actual little plastic head you could attach to the cap, then we could sell literally tens of these in Syracuse Orange with little Greg Robinson heads. TENS, we say. (HT: Big Jon.
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“that you kind of want to take a miniature version of him, rip his head off, and drink beer from his neck. "
No, we want to do that to the actual version of him…
by PeterPumpkinhead on Aug 22, 2008 11:13 AM EDT reply actions
I want one, and I don’t even love tOSU.
That koozie will help one beer play better defense and special teams then the rest of the beers in it’s cooler.
Unfortunately, it’ll still get destroyed when it meets a beer that has more SP33DZ0R outside it’s cooler.
by White Speed Receiver on Aug 22, 2008 11:22 AM EDT reply actions
Shit. I’m the third commenter and already two jokes better than mine have been made. My hat is off to both of you, sirs.
by The Song of Hiawatha Francisco on Aug 22, 2008 11:25 AM EDT reply actions
Is the Koozy shit and piss stain resistant?
I would think any Ohio State tailgating item would have to be.
by Ryno on Aug 22, 2008 11:33 AM EDT reply actions
We can always depend on tOSU Nation for being at the avant garde forefront of Pret a Porter.
by yoyofutbawl on Aug 22, 2008 11:39 AM EDT reply actions
Anybody know if they make a Mangino koozy for a 40 oz.?
by hunglikehussein on Aug 22, 2008 11:54 AM EDT reply actions
- - sorry, Mangino-style velour koozies are available in no size smaller than “pony keg.”
by Signal to Noise on Aug 22, 2008 12:35 PM EDT reply actions
HLH-
The Mangino koozie is actually for a keg.
Koozies are all supremely stoopid, some just a little moreso than others.
Bottom line is, if you can’t finish your beer before it gets warm, then the problem lays within.
by Kanu on Aug 22, 2008 12:37 PM EDT reply actions
Meh. Not an OSU fan, but my brother is. Got him the koozie. You never drink your first 6-10 beers at the same rate as your second half beers and that’s where it makes a difference.
The sweatervest t-shirt? THAT, I will mock him over.
by AE on Aug 22, 2008 2:09 PM EDT reply actions
Somebody’s missing a chance to sell a complete six-pack of these things. The other five:
1) Shaped like Woody’s hat
2) Brutus’s head
3) Scarlet and gray; says “FUCK MICHIGAN” in three-inch letters (boring but improves sales by 437%)
4) Yost’s “Buckstache” logo
5) Scarlet and gray version of R2D2. Half-sphere top protects beer from cooler-crappers.
by DevilGrad on Aug 22, 2008 3:13 PM EDT reply actions
#16, I was thinking it looked more like a couch-burning Tom Servo
by jakldawg on Aug 22, 2008 3:47 PM EDT reply actions
#11, 12 – Yahtzee!
Pete Carroll is totally jacked for the release of his white wine/champagne koozy. Just really excited about it.
UCLA students are putting in custom orders for a Neuweasel koozy for 40s — Old E will be the only way to survive the season mentally.
by Signal to Noise on Aug 22, 2008 3:57 PM EDT reply actions
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