CORRECTIONS, 8/22/2008
An item in Monday’s Curious Index referred to television presence Pam Ward as a “football analyst”. We realize this may have given our readers the impression that Pam Ward provides analysis of football games or speaks cogently (or even coherently) on football-related topics. This impression is patently inaccurate, and we regret the error.
On Wednesday, the caption for the following photo was listed incorrectly.
It is not, as we listed, the “Jungle House” in the Dominican Republic that former coach Bobby Pruett used to entertain Marshall football recruits. The real “Jungle House” had a helipad and one of those windtunnel phone booths filled with cash used in radio promos, along with many hot tubs filled with naked local women. The house pictured actually belongs to Space Emperor and Michigan punter Zoltan Mesko, who just dares you to try to come within five miles of its impregnable defenses.
On Tuesday we reported that Navy head coach Ken Niumatalolo has accepted an offer to join the Broadway cast of Wicked following the 2008 football season. Coach Niumatalolo explains in a follow-up interview in this week’s EDSBS THE MAGAZINE that while he was thrilled to be approached, he feels his voice is better suited to legit pop than belting and wants to preserve his talents to record a solo album. We regret the error.
Tuesday’s “Trends and Friends” segment mistakenly identified the motto for this season’s Texas Tech Raiders as “We ARRRRRRRRR Texas Tech.” They have no official motto for the 2008 campaign. We regret the error.
In Wednesday’s interview with Nate Longshore, we reported that the Cal quarterback can frequently be seen on campus engaging in vigorous energy policy debates with his imaginary friend, a unicorn named Fizzywinkles. Mr. Longshore’s companion is called Merriman Poole. We regret the error.

On the contrary, whether you favor the cap-and-trade model or a carbon tax, you miss the central impediment, which is to say, either could be ineffectual due to substandard implementation and design.
In Thursday’s piece “Tim Tebow: The Contract Rider”, our staff made several erroneous inferences. “Fluffernutters and The Sound of Music” refers simply to the fact that Mr. Tebow enjoys relaxing in his dressing room after appearances with a Fluffernutter sandwich and VHS copy of the classic musical. Any other implications are factual inaccuracies on our part. We regret the error.
This concludes the Corrections for this offseason. Real, actual football discussion based on actual football games being played, actually, will be the order of the day by this time next week. Thanks to Pam Ward, without whose unfortunate verbal meanderings (”He’s out of this week’s game with some criminal trouble…I’m sorry, that’s a hamstring”) this feature would not have been hatched. And for the last time, Columbia, South Carolina is the maw of Hell. — Not an error.









1
DevilGrad says:
EDSBS: The Magazine? Hell, I might actually pay for that one.
August 22nd, 2008 at 2:23 pm
2
GamecockTony says:
“And for the last time, Columbia, South Carolina is the maw of Hell.”
Come on down for some food and beer. We’ll prove to you it’s not actually Hell, but just a reasonable facsimile.
August 22nd, 2008 at 2:23 pm
3
Holly says:
Oh, I’ve been. Many times. Scars to prove it.
August 22nd, 2008 at 2:31 pm
4
Arrrrrrr U Ready? says:
We ARRRRRRR Texas Tech is funny on two levels given UT’s previous campaign.
Keep this column.
August 22nd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
5
carlinthemarlin says:
Woah, woah, woah. San Diego’s starting outside linebackers on a college football blog? Did you think we wouldn’t notice?!
August 22nd, 2008 at 2:49 pm
6
Crabapple Buck says:
Great as always Holly. Thanks for making the off season tolerable. Only five more days of Fulmer Cup.
August 22nd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
7
grips says:
I love the parting jab on Columbia. Could not be more true at this time of year when the 143 degree heat is frying the bums at the fairgrounds into greasy spots on the sidewalk just in time for tailgating. Watch your step next Thursday folks!
August 22nd, 2008 at 2:55 pm
8
The Song of Hiawatha Francisco says:
Mistaking Pam Ward for an analyst is a far less egregious error than mistaking her for a woman. And much less psychologically scarring.
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
9
yoyofutbawl says:
Tony-
Columbia is not even near being The Maw of Hell. My work takes me to far worse hellholes. Dante never saw infernos like these.
As noted earlier today – Chadbourn, NC this week and early next week (Mon & Tues) LaFayette, GA. Ugh. I think Dalton has beer, hopefully. And no bedbugs.
A 2 hour deposition in Cola Wednesday afternoon will be like pseudo paradise, plus like dem $125/hr round trip & mileage gigs.
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
10
Doug says:
This concludes the Corrections for this offseason. Real, actual football discussion based on actual football games being played, actually, will be the order of the day by this time next week.
Oh, don’t you threaten ME, scum!
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
11
GamecockTony says:
@Yoyo – I hope they pay you well. And not in Confederate Dollars.
@Holly – if all you got were scars, I’d say you got off easy.
/got off easy… hehehe
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:13 pm
12
DevilGrad says:
New tee-shirt?
“EDSBS — We Regret the Error”
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:15 pm
13
Adam West's chauffeur says:
Do I get a free commemorative edition featuring the Sun Belt champion Florida Atlantic Owls with my subscription to EDSBS – The Magazine?
Operators standing by.
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
14
Klak says:
The free commemorative edition of the FAU Sun Belt Championship was distributed in video form several days ago. No physical copies will be distributed. You get nothing. Good day sir.
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:23 pm
15
yoyofutbawl says:
Tony-
I didn’t realize SC went off the Confederate dollar standard. I’ll have to ask Ken Wheat why they pay me in them
Is Hitler coming to the USC/NCSU game with his Fire Ant Defense T-shirts to sell?
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
16
John Vierdsen says:
Correction: Columbia is a fine place to live, work and get absolutely hammered in.
Knoxville is the maw of hell.
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:30 pm
17
Signal to Noise says:
EDSBS: The Magazine.
I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter. If it comes with a free pullover, I’m in.
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:35 pm
18
OhioDawg says:
Reader Error – While reading your blog in the offseason, we imagined life to be worth living. As the renewed college football season clubs baseball and the olympics to death, we realize the offseason was a vast, blighted wasteland. We regret – deeply – the error.
August 22nd, 2008 at 4:01 pm
19
oc phil says:
John V @ 16: No, Knoxville is the large intestine of Hell
August 22nd, 2008 at 4:26 pm
20
CKGator says:
Not impressed with a free pullover. Now if you give away those football shaped phones–I’m in!
August 22nd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
21
Raider Red says:
“This concludes the Corrections for this offseason.”
Thank God. Apparently I was the only one who thought is was a tedious waste of space.
August 22nd, 2008 at 5:17 pm
22
cocknfire says:
Sumter is the maw of Hell. Columbia is tarred with guilt by association.
August 22nd, 2008 at 5:27 pm
23
Rob says:
Thank God. Apparently I was the only one who thought is was a tedious waste of space.
No you weren’t, there’s a reason many of the columns were tagged “destroying the internet’s finest college football blog”. Although you’re definitely in the minority, and for good reason.
August 22nd, 2008 at 5:52 pm
24
GoBlue06 says:
This column makes me laugh out loud more than any other on this site! Come back in January!
August 22nd, 2008 at 6:41 pm
25
swampchomp says:
just moved up here for law school. the average person here a flaming idiot, but likely will still be nice enough to call you “sugar”. this place blows dogs for quarters
August 22nd, 2008 at 6:54 pm
26
Coop says:
If she would have used the Cola disclaimer after every edition, it never would have gotten to this point…
At any rate, until Friday morning, I back the Pack. The horrible, wretched, inbred, Pack.
Light them up, Russell Wilson*
* – State has no chance unless Brown and Baker pull a McFadden/Jones like performance from last season against South Carolina.
August 22nd, 2008 at 8:55 pm
27
rydercup says:
Pam Ward.
I believe she’s been correctly relegated to the Indiana game of the week. She sounds like a muppet urgently seeking her sexual identity (or his?).
What a yawner – thanks espin
August 22nd, 2008 at 11:19 pm
28
yoyofutbawl says:
22
Jack Osteen does not agree on Scumpter from 4 Swan Lake Dr. You’ll have hell to pay in The Item. Plus, his family kinda hides their association with a country club somewhat across the river fron Aiken. They’ve only been in biz for 110+ years.
We Presbys & Rotarians stand firm.
August 23rd, 2008 at 1:57 am
29
InsaneCoachPosse says:
my sadness at the end of this feature will only disappear when the first kickoff appears on my screen
bless you Holly for sharing your wit and verve with the great unwashed masses – we are mostly undeserving but definitely appreciative
now, Orson – get that girl a press pass from SN – we need her visiting games on the West coast and reporting on tailgates, linebackers, unicorns and post-game celebrations
August 23rd, 2008 at 7:29 am
30
woooohooooo says:
As a Sumter native, I approve these messages regarding Swampter and the Osteen mafia. If Columbia is the “Maw of hell”, then Sumter is “The jejunum of Hell”
August 23rd, 2008 at 7:40 am
31
Sundawg says:
Yo yo, remember it’s pronounced La-FAY-ette and not La-fee-ETTE (as in the French military guy). Vacations (mine) take you to strange places.
August 23rd, 2008 at 10:42 am
32
vegas_buckeye says:
After being in VA for the past week and a half only to return to the blazing hot 6th ring of hell (which I pleasurably call my home in Vegas) – I think that Virginia should change it’s state motto to “Virginia is for Meh.”
It’s the most average state I think I’ve ever seen in my life, and I grew up in Ohio.
August 23rd, 2008 at 12:02 pm
33
The Holy Grail says:
Pam Ward? I thought they found her frozen in a Georgia freezer?… my bad….. EBSDS The Mag? Free phone, towel, team preview, hat, sweatshirt, foam hand…. sign me up…..
Let the real Games begin
August 24th, 2008 at 9:40 am
34
Never Leave College says:
As always, Coop shows up for the anti-Carolina comment. RTR, just for you Coop. Just for you.
August 24th, 2008 at 10:07 am
35
NRBQ says:
Thanks for these, Holly.
Purty good for a Tenn. gal.
August 24th, 2008 at 11:19 am
36
Holly says:
Thanks for the love, y’all. This has been a fun little offseason diversion for us. But now…..mmmmmGAMESWOOOOOEEEEEEEE!!! *runs around in circles, passes out*
August 24th, 2008 at 12:12 pm