Comments on: FOCUS GROUP: SEX DURING FOOTBALL SEASON

By: Gigio

Gigio — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 15:34:48 +0000

So the Miami Dolphins are my enemies now! I offered (more liked begged) for sex from my friend with benefits partner, and he said to wait until half time, so I did! half time came, he started performing oral and then I realized HE WAS SOFT! so I offered to help and I worked for a little bit, we stated in the actual act and then half time ended….the Dolphins started playing and HE WENT SOFT AGAIN INSIDE!!!!!!!!!!! What a freaking insult to a woman that is! needless to say, I told him to F*** off, left his house and he continued watching his game. Was I wrong for asking for sex during his team’s game??

By: Studley

Studley — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 21:26:30 +0000

DCTrojan @ 42: +1000. Those situational scenarios should be put on a card, very much like the “Two-Point Card”, and sold. Maybe Swindle Industries could work out a distribution deal through the site.

UFJim @ 40: You never really know what you’re going to get into up there, you just know you will. Just like summiting K2, and equally as dangerous.

No mention of hottie Sideline Reporters? Tracy Wolfson, Stacey Dales, or Bonnie Bernstein could be deal-breakers for me, especially in the early high-temperature months when they’re wearing less.

By: bevo

bevo — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 18:00:24 +0000

No, married people do not have sex. That’s why we got married. To stop having sex.

For Mrs. Bevo, Kirk Herbstreit does it for her on Saturdays and John Lynch on Sundays.

Yes, we worship at both (football) houses at the Bevo residence.

By: John

John — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 22:12:19 +0000

Sex and football? Isn’t this like the episode of Seinfeld where George combined sex, food and TV into one uncontrollable urge.
Anyways, here would my announcers to listen to while getting it on:
Ron Franklin, Brad Nessler, Brent Musberger, Chris Fowler

By: DC Trojan

DC Trojan — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:08:36 +0000

This advice is all very well for those of you who are unmarried and / or free of spawn, but it’s easy to be casual about settling for a half-time hummer on Saturday when Sunday through Thursday are lubricated with an impudent recent vintage that has notes of cheap domestic beer, water-based lubricants, and essence of Guitar Hero.

For those of us whose wine of love-making is rather like a rare Latour Burgundy – rare, scheduled in advance in an environment requiring the outlay of significant cash, and possessed of a terroir that suggests long dry periods – priorities are necessarily different. Specifically, if the missus appears in front of the television during a game and is ready to rumble, there are four applicable conditions that determine your response:

1) is my team winning by a wide margin? Then it’s time for a quick run and spike in the wifely endzone, and take the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty as the price of scoring unblocked.

2) is my team in a tense, close-scoring game? Then it’s time to get that quick release through the v-line, perhaps from a five-step schtup that sets you up for a deep strike in the secondary.

3) is my team losing? Wash away the bitter taste of defeat with the tangy pinkberry swirl under your tongue – it keeps your eyes off the screen, and you may get to put a topping of your choice on the sundae afterwards.

4) does this game not involve my team at all? Show your romantic side by turning on the dvr and turning your full attention to playing the naughty coach and the scared cheerleader. (Vary according to teams last viewed, e.g. the Bishop and the pliant novice for ND – Boston College, the elder and sister-wife 2 for BYU – Utah, etc. Any game involving UCLA quarterbacks should be avoided except for couples with S&M experience or at least one partner with a stump fetish.)

By: Vol

Vol — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:02:10 +0000

Is it weird that I’m fixated on the “gets me slippery” thing? Damn I’m just glad to be a fan of the same team of a girl who talks like that. Of course, the commonalities probably stop there, but I’ll take what I can get.

By: UFJim

UFJim — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:08:49 +0000

Is that 9-way comment true, because if it is, i gotta give props

By: blon57

blon57 — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:01:31 +0000

#36

Mrs. Gamecock may not appreciate your sense of humor and may not appreciate efficiency.

By: PeterPumpkinhead

PeterPumpkinhead — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 19:34:23 +0000

To paraphrase Liz Phair:

She said she like to do it backwards, I said that’s just fine with me… that way we can f*ck and watch TV

By: SEC Supremacist

SEC Supremacist — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:25:31 +0000

Doug, as an Auburn fan, I feel your pain. Watching Corso on ESPN would have the same effect on me. Also, watching any KU or ND would be a show stopper once they showed the Mangina or Weis.

By: GamecockTony

GamecockTony — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:25:29 +0000

@21 – Yes, we do.
Just not with each other.
/kidding

By: Holly

Holly — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:18:08 +0000

Doug, have faith. May would tell you how a HAWAII fan could do it better and then you’d give said lady the ride of a lifetime while said WAC nitwit wept sulkily in the corner.

By: Doug

Doug — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:02:12 +0000

OK, now Mark May is someone I definitely could not have sex in front of. As a Georgia fan, I’d be constantly worried that he was going to start telling me I was overrated, my technique wasn’t really that good, and there were plenty of other SEC fans who could pleasure her better.

By: Cannibal Sativa

Cannibal Sativa — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:56:37 +0000

Halftime is strictly for makin’ bump-belly jelly.

By: Brandon Cox's Vagina

Brandon Cox's Vagina — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:47:19 +0000

I’m here for the group colon sex.

Isn’t that what the title of this thing says?