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Around SBN: Ellenberger vs. Sanchez Heats Up, Hughes Talks Retirement

CURIOUS INDEX, 8/20/08

Now let's keep this all in perspective we kid go crazy overboard bonkers. Nick Saban goes ahead and sends Alabama fans flying from their comfortable home in the deliriumsphere and into the Van Allen Belt of Pandeleirum by openly and publicly saying incoming freshman/pogo ninja Julio Jones has been one of the Tide's best receivers in fall practice. We know and trust that Alabama fans will respond to this news in a measured and rational manner.

Julio ain't got these, though. If NCAA 09 has the math in line, Ben Tate is going to make Jones' hops look like mere skips. I do box jumps on a bank!

That's not a glitch. That's just part of the magic Tony Franklin and his enchanted wristbands can work on an offense.

Knit one, pearl one. Tennessee gets Brandon Warren, most impressive TE transfer from Florida State, approved by the NCAA to play this year. HUZZAHS! and possum jerky all around. Circle of life tells you your Ace set will have to wait, because UT's other tight end, Jeff Cottam, has back surgery and will be out 6-8 weeks. HUZZAHS! revoked, but keep possum jerky.

Purdue receives no such balance in their news. Purdue loses starting running back Jaycen Taylor for the year with an ACL. Not that Purdue uses this "running back" you speak of, but still.

Still more tales of human frailty. Micah Kia, one of three surviving members of the species known as UCLA linemen, broke his hand on a FG block attempt in practice and is "probable" for the opener against Tennessee. The following sentence will break your logic box. Give Rick Neuheisel points for candor:

“We're past ‘overly concerning,' ” Neuheisel said. “On that Ouija board of concerning, we're past, ‘overly.' Yeah, this is concerning, no question about it.”

The only solace for Bruins fans is that USC continues to rack up injuries, as well. Running back C.J. Gable suffered ankle and hip strains from a hit he took on a running drill, and is labeled as generically questionable.

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i think i saw ben tate in a onesie and socks on a trampoline in beijing the other night.

by gerry dorsey on Aug 20, 2008 9:24 AM EDT reply actions  

I believe you violated about twenty rules of grammer, sentence structure and logic by including the words ‘Alabama fans’, ‘measured’ and ‘rational’ in the same sentence. The errors are compounded by including the offending sentence within a paragraph that includes both ‘Saban’ and ‘Julio Jones.’

Bad dog. Bad dog. No biscuit.

by sullivan013 on Aug 20, 2008 9:27 AM EDT reply actions  

Now how is UCLA supposed to hang an opening day loss on Tennessee when stuff like that keeps happening? Come on! The Bruins are going to ruin my Labor Day cookout.

by Brewdog on Aug 20, 2008 9:43 AM EDT reply actions  

  1. - it’s “grammar” barnar.

by Etch Westgrin on Aug 20, 2008 10:13 AM EDT reply actions  

#5…Coffee. Nose. Keyboard

by Julio's stiff arm on Aug 20, 2008 10:18 AM EDT reply actions  

#6…. this should have been your name.

by Julio's baby arm on Aug 20, 2008 10:27 AM EDT reply actions  

June Jones laughs at this thing called running back.

by psuphiman80 on Aug 20, 2008 10:44 AM EDT reply actions  

#7…nah….maybe this

by Terrence Cody's gravitational field on Aug 20, 2008 10:46 AM EDT reply actions  

@ 6 & 7

Read it and weep.

by Julio's Stiff Baby Arm on Aug 20, 2008 10:49 AM EDT reply actions  

Julio Jones saved my cat from high up in a tree on Hackberry Lane yesterday before practice!

by decemberist on Aug 20, 2008 11:17 AM EDT reply actions  

dude…you have a cat?? gay.

by gerry dorsey on Aug 20, 2008 11:20 AM EDT reply actions  

CRABCAKE!!!

by NewAZTiger on Aug 20, 2008 11:23 AM EDT reply actions  

Here’s the play to which Saban refers:
http://i34.tinypic.com/34takwj.gif

by adolph olive bush on Aug 20, 2008 11:38 AM EDT reply actions  

Nah….Tate ain’t got them hops. Julio just flew in undetected and unseen, picked him up and dropped him on his ass.

by SpookyJuice on Aug 20, 2008 11:51 AM EDT reply actions  

Alright linguists, how is Julio Jones pronounced?

Is it:
“hulio” jones? “J” pronounced “h” as in Tejas and junta.
“hulio hones”?
“walio wones”? “Ju” pronounced “wa” as in Tijuana and Juan.

Why is “hacienda” not spelled jacienda? And if “j” is “h”, why is Mexico pronounced meh he co?

by reallybored on Aug 20, 2008 12:08 PM EDT reply actions  

11

Saving a cat from a tree? Sounds like a code phrase for chasing pussy & drankin underage at The Booth.

by yoyofutbawl on Aug 20, 2008 12:22 PM EDT reply actions  

afc scout at practice compares julio to randy moss, says he might be the best wide receiver to come along in decades:

http://today.sportingnews.com/sportingnewstoday/20080819/?pg=22&pm=1&u1=friend&search=%22julio+jones%22+%22matt+hayes%22&cookies=1

by matt on Aug 20, 2008 12:43 PM EDT reply actions  

Damn those NCAA ‘09 people for letting Auburn’s super secret “Flubber Offense” out of the bag!!!

by InsaneCoachPosse on Aug 20, 2008 12:43 PM EDT reply actions  

@16: I vote HOO-lee-o HO-nays. It’s a vote for consistency. Joe Morgan would approve.

by The Song of Hiawatha Francisco on Aug 20, 2008 12:51 PM EDT reply actions  

#17, The Booth was closed long before JJ got to campus. And the pussy be chasing him. Or so I’ve heard.

by John on Aug 20, 2008 2:26 PM EDT reply actions  

I think it should be shortened to JuJo (& pronounced Hoo-Jo).

Certainly JuJo will be a household nickname across Alabama by the Arkansas (pronounced Arkansaw )game??

by decemberist on Aug 20, 2008 4:06 PM EDT reply actions  

#16, the answer to the last question is that hacienda is a Spanish word and the name of Mexico is derived from Nahuatl.
According to the Real Academica Española hacienda comes from the Latin facienda.
The closest approximation on how a native English speaker should pronounce the name Julio, without using the International Phonetic Alphabet, would be “Who-Lee-oh.”
I am not a linguist, but I suffered through linguistic courses as both an undergrad and grad.

by Anonymous IV on Aug 20, 2008 5:49 PM EDT reply actions  

Tony Franklin system bitches! Only $2,965 on Ebay. Julio Jones can certainly do that, once he gets a little bit of that Jimmy Johns product in him right around week 4, is arrested in Tuscaloosa, and is promptly suspended for pre-game warm-ups in accordance with Saban’s discipline policy.

by Wes on Aug 20, 2008 7:43 PM EDT reply actions  

@23

Never in my wildest dreams would/should I hear a “rap sonnet” combining the words…..mafia, “lot to ya”, opera and tilapia (fish).

Btw, excellent stiff arm.

Anon4… if you are interested, an excellent source for pronunciation is…http://www.research.att.com/~ttsweb/tts/demo.php

by hunglikehussein on Aug 20, 2008 8:50 PM EDT reply actions  

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