Hey. YOU!!!

You’re not very tough, or at least that’s what the Dapper Don thinks.

Texas always has a very polished team that has great talent, but they aren’t tough, they aren’t a physically tough team…My defense will get to a point where they will be mean, nasty and ornery bastards and that’s what you need for Texas. Texas will move the ball with tit-for-tat, screens and options, but we’ll make them pay a price whenever they catch one of those dinky passes. We’ll put three hats on them and make them not want to get up, that’s the way to beat Texas.”

Schnellenberger just called you a man too afraid to wear suspenders, Texas. Or he did this, like, a week ago and we didn’t notice. FAU does play hard–their first half against Florida last year was feisty, and only the inevitable talent differential landslide buried them. The knock against Texas not being physical seems odd, though: a top ten run defense, a 17th-ranked run offense, both harbingers of what we would dub a “physical” football team.

We mean, um, YES SCHNELLY. We bring you offerings of our finest retiree-grade rum and Marshall’s menswear in tribute.