FULMER CUPDATE: BIG BOARD, NOW WITH EXTRA SIREN

Should the fact that you consider WFVU and Missouri the “only two teams really in position to catch Alabama” be taken as a sort of compliment to the usually genteel nature of students at my alma mater, or as an insult related to Al Groh’s inability to motivate otherwise talented athletes to perform at the collegiate level?

Or is it because there’s no way any of our players are ever going back to Club 216 again?

So when does it officially end? Next Thursday?

There is still a small queue of minor arrests awaiting your judgement before the end of the season.

The list is at

http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=Fulmer_Cup_Processing_Station

I don’t think you’re giving the Volunteers enough love. They’re due for a furious fourth-quarter comeback.

Wow! Such little respect for UVA!

Question for clarification: Is Jimmy Johns going to be allowed a brief leave to accept the Ellis T. Jones award, or is he going to have to accept it from his jail cell via video conference like all previous award winners?

You never know: Casey Dick might be running an illegal brothel full of thirteen year old Vietnamese boys or something. It’s always the ones you least expect.

Great! Now the bammerhoids will be claiming a 13th MNC!

Did you count Saban getting drunk and running over the tree in the road?

yes, Arkansas is just one more hostage situation away from catching up…

just remember though… this is the first week back to classes for many schools across the country…. theres potential for an upset of cataclysmic proportions… counting out anyone shy of UGA or Penn State could be a mistake…

6

Orson is arranging a news conference. Unfortunately, Nick Saban will not attend, as he has no time for that shit. Plus, his Gray Suit Warehouse is on the verge of bankruptcy.

Krusty, If you’re going to rip shit off from LWS at least have the courtesy to stay there and repeat the same vile shit over and over and over again – they think it’s funny. Here, you just come off like an unoriginal douchebag.

I always said Jimmy Johns would lead Bama to a championship.

Will you be announcing how this inevitably tells our fair nation which Conference is OBVIOUSLY the finest of them all?

No way should one school be able to take all the credit. We need to bow and pay respect to their fine conferences who allow this to all be possible . . . . . . . .

(insert any of a variety of “low hanging fruit” jokes here . . . ba dum bum).

Eddie Sutton has a special name for a 0.16 BAC — “breakfast.”

This is a lead even Mike Shula couldn’t blow.

Wish someone would do a retro-Fulmer Cup. Not to be all “Old man” but these chicken ass kids today could learn a lot from the “indescretions” of the schools/athletes when I was growing up. OOOHHH, Nebraska has 11 points. Josh Brown got 11 points by himself, and he’s a damn kicker.

Can you even imagine the 1986 Oklahoma-Miami Fulmer Cup race? The score would be like an NBA All Star game, with almost as many felonies and way better stories.

If those coked up animals had known there was a trophy for this shit? And they didn’t even have the good drugs like these kids today can get. Can you imagine the 85-91 Canes on Meth?

I mean we’re talking about DUI’s? Try a sex scandal involving a married older female university employee and a couple players ripping off the Pell Grant fund.

Plus it’s easier now, you get a little drunk at a frat party and someone takes a picture of your quarterback grabbing male ass. Charles Thompson and Jamelle Hollieway pulled a Fredo ever night and still went 42-6 over four years. And CT still had time to deal blow in Norman, Oklahoma. That ain’t exactly South Beach, y’all.

I blame the artist formerly known as Luke Skywalker, there was a man with a commitment to prepare young players to compete at the highest level of Fulmer Cup-itude. Where are today’s awful rappers? It’s all “Me, me, me” my money and my bitches…no one takes the time to set the right example like Luke did. Kudos Luke, 50 gold lamme hot panted video skanks to you sir.

You kids and your damn youtube, and XBOX and red bull and internet facebooks… get out in the world and live. Maybe if we came out with NCAA 2009-Fulmer Cup, Call it Switzer 2009, put Eric Dickerson, an old fat booster with a wad of cash and Sebastian the Ibis with an AK on the cover.