JASON WHITLOCK NOT DAREDEVIL IS THE MAN WITHOUT FEAR

Must have been dictation made during one such bout of five-testicle induced slumber…otherwise, just plain fut up…

Ahh, the Mark May School Of Non-BCS Hype Shenanigans: Just list a bunch of people.

“The Cardinals are loaded. In Nate Davis, they have quite possibly the quarterback with the most pro potential in the college game. Davis’ favorite target is Wes Welker clone, Dante Love. The Cards have a 6-foot-6 tight end, Darius Hill, who can’t be stopped in the red zone. Their right tackle, Robert Brewster, is one of the nation’s best run blockers. Ball State punter, Chris Miller, is a two-time Playboy All-American.”

That’s nice. No citations or real arguments or anything, says D.N. Nation, one of the best college football posters you’ll ever see. Also, the punter? You listed the punter? Huh.

Ball State went a sterling 7-6 last year. The schedule, as you’d expect, is a big steaming pile this year…but they’ll get smoked by Indiana and that will be that.

“Ball State is this year’s Boise State.”

Boise State’s win over Oklahoma might be the worst thing to ever happen to college football. Now you laugh, but imagine 50 years from now when we’re STILL hearing about how someone is This! Year’s! Boise! State!. Imagine how you’ll feel then, assuming you haven’t already offed yourself.

“…though one of them is reserved for use on holidays and vacations only.”

Whitlock is married, huh?

Why does no one ever say “this year’s 2004 Utah?” Sure, they beat a Pitt team that had no business being in the BCS, but they surely were one of the five best teams that year.

Dimpus Burger Guy: Uhh, right. Beverage?
Whitlock: Gimme a litre o’ triptofan.
Dimpus Burger Guy: What?
Whitlock: [Annoyed] A litre o’ triptofan.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Litreatriptofan? Do we sell litreatriptofan?

bet if you took an x-ray of this guy’s head, it would show all 5 testicles… and nothing else inside

@D.N. Nation: I completely, wholly and unquestioningly trust Whitlock’s assessment of quarterback potential, especially for the NFL. His many odes penned to the greatness that was Jeff George has convinced me that his analysis is beyond reproach.

Les Miles is not impressed.

Five balls but he still can’t reach a one of ’em.

(I fucking hate Whitlock and his blame hip-hop for everything ways.)

Hate is such a strong word, Signal. How about, “I fucking despise that motherfucker with every fiber of my being.” See, much better.

Unrelated post…but since I don’t think I will be seeing any clarification from main stream news about CI’s rent issue, this is from the G’’ville Sun:

(Cornelius) Ingram wants to set the record straight. His rent was paid and two roommates told him they were paid through the end of September. Turns out they were not. Ingram’s mind has been a little cluttered since the day of the knee injury. He has paid up and is now moving out to live with his family in Hawthorne while rehabilitating after surgery.

The landlord is still a scumbag.

@#7

If memory serves me, Whitlock went to high school with Jeff George, hence the unmerciless ball washing he gives him whenever possible.

Hey, at least it’s a little positive press for the Cards.

Ball State Insurrection is not a bad band name, but it doesn’t beat my buddy’s band name in college, Free Beer. They played to huge crowds, who actually found out they were pretty good, after the initial letdown that beer wasn’t actually free. Sometimes they played parties where the beer was actually free, and the posters for those parties were pretty funny.

Between David Letterman and Whitlock, Ball State is getting more positive press than they deserve. Sure, they almost beat Nebraska last year, but getting excited about almost beating 2007 Nebraska is like bragging that your mom says you’re the second most handsome guy in school.

#14

Withlock went to Ball State? Well, nuthin wrong a little homerism.

So the guy loves His Alma Mater and his High School QB. Nothing wrong with that. The main stream media joined in the hype for June Jones and the Warriors and rammed Them down Our throats last year. Thus forcing Me to sit through the worst, and longest, third quarter of football in my life. I never thought I would leave the Sugar Bowl early, especially with UGA winning, but Burbon St beckoned. This years Boise State is last year’s Hawaii. That being said, the guy can write. I would trade Terrance Moore for Him any day.

16:

But would you trade Terrance Mann?
\
People will come Ray…

No offense to Big Sexy, whose work I love, but Central Michigan is going to wax Ball State. Dan Lefevour is like Tim Tebow, only not as holy.

Re #15: Big Sexy didn’t just go to Ball State, he played for Ball State, and he’s still a big enough Cards fan to post occasionally on the Ball State fan board. Every sportswriter is entitled to one or two blind spots, and at least his are different than most.

That said, Nate Davis is one hell of a player (though not, as noted above, as good as LeFevour — who scares the hell out of this Miami fan).

@#4:

“Sure, they beat a Pitt team that had no business being in the BCS, but they surely were one of the five best teams that year.”

Oh really? Utah’s best wins in 2004: At home against a flaky aTm team. At home against a crappy UNC team. And…that’s it. Utah was one of the 25 best teams that year, and maybe even the 15 best teams that year, but had they played anyone with a pulse in the Fiesta Bowl, their Hawaiiness would have been revealed for all to see.

17, Hell yes I would trade terrance Mann, I built it and nobodyshowed up!

Ah yes, we have D.N. Nation, yet another fan who believes brand names actually outweigh the play on the field. Therefore, any success by a non-BCS club is dismissed as a one-time fluke, and any flops by a non-BCS team are evidence that no non-BCS team should ever be given another shot on the national stage ever, ever again.

Ooooh, how edgy. You sure put us in our place!

Papa Lou- Seeing how I’m a fan of a team who authored both the 2005 Boise Beatdown and the 2008 Hawaii Hilarity, I kinda automatically have to look at the Mid! Major! Du! Jooooooooooour!!!!!! with a wary eye.

Also, the fact remains: Utah didn’t play anyone in 2004. Not a soul. Not a single win of more than remote relevance.