CORRECTIONS, 8/15/08
by Holly Anderson on Aug 15, 2008 3:05 PM EDT
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PrintLATE-BREAKING CORRECTION: During last night's EDSBS Trans-Oceanic Olympic liveblog, one of our correspondents in Beijing reported that Purdue coach Joe Tiller had strangled NBC anchor Bob Costas on live television following the conclusion of the women's all-around gymnastics final. The perpetrator, as reported in media outlets around the globe this morning, was former gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi. We regret the error, and extend our heartfelt snickering sympathies to Costas' loved ones and the entire NBC family.
Счастливо усик Среда, motherfuckers.
An item in Monday's Curious Index stated that Rudy Carpenter's father has admitted to taking out a six-figure insurance policy on the beleagured Arizona State quarterback. This is unequivocally false. Rudy Carpenter's position coach has taken out the policy. We regret the error.
Tuesday's crossword clue 14-Down, "West Virginia was born to love you," when solved correctly, should read "barbecue possum", not "Rich Rodriguez". We regret the error, and apologize for any anguish this may have caused to our Mountaineer readership.
Monday's "Weather Report" listed the weather in Tallhassee as "83 and partly squalid, with a chance of scattered thunderstorms in the afternoon." The "partly" is unnecessary on both a technical and a semantic level. We regret the error.
Contrary to conclusions drawn in Wednesday's exposé, Whatever Happened To Baby Orangeman?, the entire Syracuse program has not been trapped in a magical book within the popular 1990's computer game MYST. The "cheat codes" obtained by EDSBS are in fact only successful in obtaining extra ammo in the Nintendo console classic Tiger-Heli, and will not restore the Syracuse program to gridiron dominance. The best remedy our staff can recommend at this time is a combination of efficient quarterbacking, solid offensive blocking, and any manner of defense at all. We regret the error.
Thurday's Profile of Jim Delany, "The Big Ten's Big Man," featured a poorly worded passage that requires some clarification. In the sixth paragraph, a brief sentence mentions Delany's self-confessed metrosexuality. There is then some expounding on the particular cosmetological methods Delany enjoys, a sentence we would like to correct below.
Delany enjoys getting a pedicure from time to time, not that there's anything wrong with that. He even enjoys getting facials from trained cosmetologists in a business setting.
We apologize for any untoward inferences our readers may have made from the uncorrected original sentence, and regret the error.
Wednesday we listed Auburn's Kodi Burns as the starting qb for the 2008 Auburn Tigers. This proved to be based on inaccurate sourcing, as Chris Todd will also see snaps in the new Tony Franklin offense. We would also like to clarify Burns' greatest fear is not "spiders," as initially written, but is instead Bart-a-lactus, Eater of Worlds. We regret the error.
All that you know is at an end, dude.
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Forbes placed the wrong picture of Saban on it’s cover.
by NewAZTiger on Aug 15, 2008 3:08 PM EDT reply actions
The person responsible for the previous link has been sacked.
The correct Forbes cover is here.
by NewAZTiger on Aug 15, 2008 3:17 PM EDT reply actions
Is it a bad sign that I filled in all the squares in the crossword with “meat” and “bone”?
I understand those, too, would be acceptable answers in the crossword.
by gatorphunk on Aug 15, 2008 3:31 PM EDT reply actions
Is it a bad sign that I filled in all the squares in the crossword with meat and bone?
Were there an actual EDSBS crossword, it would probably look just like that.
by Holly on Aug 15, 2008 3:40 PM EDT reply actions
I first thought that was Schnellenberger attacking Costas last night…but then I realized he was too busy calling out the Longhorns for being a bunch of silly nannies.
by Heyley Lafontaine is a Dumpster Muffin on Aug 15, 2008 3:49 PM EDT reply actions
Lord knows, I’d have been cheering Bela on…
I’d love to see the data that NBC is using to come to the conclusion the America just can’t get enough of Bob Costas, and that we’re somehow demanding MORE MORE MORE
by sandman227 on Aug 15, 2008 3:50 PM EDT reply actions
Good luck Wednesday Antennae, motherfuckers?
Best Google translation ever.
by PeteJayhawk on Aug 15, 2008 3:50 PM EDT reply actions
Besides, shouldn’t it be Fericit Musta?? Miercuri, motherfuckers?
by PeteJayhawk on Aug 15, 2008 3:52 PM EDT reply actions
Yahoo Babelfish says:
“It is happy moustache the medium”
So, happy moustache the medium, motherfuckers.
by everloyal on Aug 15, 2008 3:58 PM EDT reply actions
Froehlich Schnurrbart Mittwoch, motherfuckers
by Chips O'Toole on Aug 15, 2008 4:02 PM EDT reply actions
Does anyone else think the upside-down Orange mascot looks like the pigtailed Wendy from the hamburger ads in blueface and screaming in terror?
With legs coming out of her head, yes.
by Jas on Aug 15, 2008 4:03 PM EDT reply actions
I couldn’t find a Romanian translator while drunk at 4 AM. YMMV.
by Holly on Aug 15, 2008 4:06 PM EDT reply actions
14, now that you mention it, yes. The upside-down Orange mascot does look like the pigtailed Wendy from the hamburger ads in blueface and screaming in terror.
by socalbryan on Aug 15, 2008 4:19 PM EDT reply actions
I’ll have what #14 is having, but make it a double.
by NewAZTiger on Aug 15, 2008 4:24 PM EDT reply actions
Jas - pass that this way, I am still at work but that has to be some good stuff :)
by The Holy Grail on Aug 15, 2008 4:38 PM EDT reply actions
I think it looks more like a Blue Meanie head wearing an orange wig, but I am on a combination of nutmeg, salvia divornum and grape cough syrup, not LSD. Yet.
by Pants McPants on Aug 15, 2008 4:44 PM EDT reply actions
What!?!?! The cheat codes are false?
I guess that saves Greg Robinson the trouble of installing the “up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-sta…. AW SHIT, SACKED AGAIN!!” offense.
by CincySooner on Aug 15, 2008 5:07 PM EDT reply actions
Good catch on Jim Delany. It’s the harem of Big Ten schools that enjoy the facials from Fox. Delany’s just the pimp.
still bitter about entire FB and BB seasons going untelevised last year
by Expat Ohioan on Aug 15, 2008 6:22 PM EDT reply actions
barbecue possum > shit > Product Rodriguez
by montani semper liberi on Aug 15, 2008 6:41 PM EDT reply actions
best “corrections” yet – I miss the bunda friday, but this has taken the sting away from the longing
I now return to my daily meditations – today’s question to ponder: who did the writing on Holly’s chest after last years’ FL-TN game?
by InsaneCoachPosse on Aug 15, 2008 9:07 PM EDT reply actions
I am guessing #3 is a big fan of Phil Collins.
If we have gone this far and it is not obvious, he probably has to return some videotapes and somebody should go check out Hell’s Kitchen to find Paul Allen’s body.
by Coop on Aug 15, 2008 9:29 PM EDT reply actions
Er, #5.
Oh, and Dorsia remains, “nice,” according to Courtney Rawlinson.
by Coop on Aug 15, 2008 9:42 PM EDT reply actions
Happily short moustache Environment
/freetranslation.com
by Adam West's chauffeur on Aug 16, 2008 12:44 AM EDT reply actions
I assume people have either gotten it or given up, but I’m think the translation is “Happy Moustache Wednesday,” given all the talk of moustaches and mediums.
Ureshii hanahige no suiyoubi desu, motherfuckers.
by Magic Hobo on Aug 16, 2008 5:11 AM EDT reply actions
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